Our Heat Is Gone

“Hey, Max?” I turned around and asked suddenly almost forgetting I had one more thing to do before I got on that plane. My mom was next in line to give her plane ticket and my heart was racing so fast I was afraid I was going to breakdown or something else terrible along the lines.

“Yes?” He walked over quickly to my side and I saw the concerned and worried expression written all over his face. I guess he could tell from the tone in my voice that I was about to freak. I reached into my pocket and took out an envelope.

“Here.” I said handing him the envelope with shaky hands.

“What is it?” He eyed it carefully, but soon becoming full aware of what it might be.

“I need you to give it to Josh once my plane takes off.”

“Lexi, why couldn’t you give it to him yourself?”

“I can’t. It’s too much and-” I couldn’t even finish that sentence because for one it was too hard to and two my mom was calling my name already. “Just please, Max, give it to Josh when I take off. I love you and I’ll try to get a hold of you when I get home.” I lastly said and kissed his cheek after hugging him tightly.

“Alright.” He agreed without anymore questioning and hugged me back. Once he had let go I went back in line and gave the lady my ticket and was on my way.

Josh’s POV

I had been standing in the middle of the airport all by myself looking at the engagement ring I was going to give to Lexi in my hand, for the longest time. I couldn’t take this anymore. She had turned me down for the second time. It was killing me even more. I spent so much time and money for this ring and she wasn’t going to accept it. As much as of as a sissy I may be sounding I felt like everything was pulled right out from under me. My whole life was on a plane back to the United States. I literally couldn’t function so much without Lexi and to think about her possibly not coming back wasn’t making me feel any better.

I noticed a pair of shoes from the floor since I had been looking down the entire time I didn’t even watch Lexi give the woman her ticket. I looked up and the shoes belonged to one of our best friends, Max. He had a look of sympathy on his face and started speaking.

“Hey, man.”

“Hey.” I replied and then shoved the ring back into my pocket.

“You were going to propose to her, huh?”

“I already did and she turned me down and then I wanted her to keep it, but she didn’t want to do that either.” I scoffed. I wasn't in the talking mood and I probably gave off an asshole kind of vibe right now all because of the ring and Lexi.

“I’m really sorry, but if you think about it this is just as hard as it is on Lexi than it is with you.” He tried to reassure me that I wasn’t the only one hurting in this relationship, but I found it hard to believe that. I never once doubted the relationship I have or had with Lexi. Sure, I had been a bit insecure if she just felt sorry for me or were to leave me in the beginning, but we’ve been together for years and I knew she was or was suppose to be the one for me. If she does really love me wouldn’t she wait for me?

“I’m kind of having a hard time believing that right now.” I had to admit to him.

“What?” Max questioned in astonishment. “How can you even say that? She’s your girlfriend and she was fucking clinging onto you before she left! How can you not think that it’s not just as difficult for her to leave?” He kind of exploded with rage at me when I said that. I knew he would probably be defensive about Lexi because he is pretty close to her than I was with him too.

“It’s just she didn’t want to at least wait or even accept the ring I spent so much for. What am I going to do with it if she doesn’t come back?” That might have been one of the most pathetic excuse I could’ve come up with right then. There really should’ve been no excuse.

“Whatever, man. Here.” He scoffed and handed me an envelope with my name scribbled on top of it. It was in Lexi’s handwriting. “Lexi wanted me to give you this.” He finished as I took the envelope from his hands and he walked back to the rest of the guys.

I ran my thumb across my name feeling the crease on the envelope from the amount of pressure she used when she writes and then put it in my pocket deciding to open it when I got home. I had been standing like a loser in this airport for too long anyway.

End of Josh’s POV

I had finally touched down on the beautiful warm state of Arizona about two hours ago. My mom had found us a house last month and we were now setting things into place around the small house. It wasn’t big like the house we had back in Weybridge it was just fit for the two of us and I really liked it.

The movers had already set some of our furniture into place as well and the house was already beginning to look great after a couple of more hours of re-arranging and decorating. I sighed loudly and collapsed onto my bed. Resting in complete silence for a few minutes, I picked up the house phone and after figuring out how to make a call to another country I was soon listening to the dial tone awaiting for my best friend to pick up the phone.

“Hello?” I heard Max’s groggy voice. I mentally cursed myself and realized that it was probably just the break of dawn back there.

“Oh crap. I am so sorry, Max. I woke you up. I forgot about the time zones.” I said regretting making the phone call.

“Lexi? No, no it’s not a problem at all.” He reassured and I could tell that he was now fully awake and sitting up.

“Are you sure? Because I can call another time or whatever.” I replied while biting on one of my fingernails.

“No, then you’d be really sleepy and all. Speaking of sleep aren’t you jet lagged?”

“Nah, I’m not. I’ve never had much luck with sleeping anyway.”

“Well, that’s true. So how was your flight?”

“Ugh, excruciating. It was everything I was dreading. Babies. Assholes. Fatty foods. Restroom lines. It sucked. I never want to fly again!”

“Awe, I’m sorry about that.”

“What can you do?” I shrugged on my end of the phone call. He just laughed and when it died down it stayed quiet for a second until he started with something else.

“I gave Josh your letter.”

“Did he open it in front of you?” Was the first thing I asked. Not what'd he say? I didn't exactly want Josh to read it in front of the guys. He'd have some sense to read it alone then maybe go ahead and spill what was on it.

“No, I walked away after I handed it to him. He made me so mad at the airport. I don’t think he read it there anyway. He probably did yesterday at home.”

“Oh okay and what'd he do to make you mad?”

"It's nothing, really."

"Really? You sure?"

"Okay, fine. I can't lie to you. He just told me that he didn't think you were hurting in the relationship. He wasn't convinced all just because you wouldn't take his ring."

"Oh." Was the only word that came out of my mouth in response. I was kind of hurt hearing Josh's reaction. He didn't think I was hurting. He probably thought I was a cold hard bitch and wasted money on that ring.

“Yeah, but I yelled back at him. I had your back, you know.”

“Haha, thanks. Max, I have to tell you something.” I laughed a bit then tried to get on a serious and new note.

“Alright, what is it?”

“Dan doesn’t even know and Josh should know by now if he opened that letter.”

“Don’t keep me waiting in suspense, Lex, what is it?”

“I’m not coming back.” I spilled out and in response was a long pause from the other end. “Max, are you still there? Hello?” I was afraid he hung up on me. I didn’t want to lose him now too.

“What?” He finally spoke up.

“I’m not coming back to Weybridge.” I repeated.

“No, I heard that, but why not?” His voice was getting louder now.

“I’m going to finish school here and just settle down for the rest of my life here.”

“But why? What’s wrong with Surrey?”

“Nothing! I just have more opportunities here.”

“Bullshit.” He said in a regular volume.

“Max-”

“Are there any other secrets you’re keeping from us?” He asked in a harsh tone.

“What? No-” I tried to speak, but I was cut off again by an enraged Max.

“You do know the rest of the guys have to know.”

“I’m sure Josh will spill the beans to them.”

“That’s true, but Lexi. The next time I’ll probably see you is when we go on tour in America and that’s usually only once or twice a year.”

“I know, but I just have more going for me here.” Wow, how lame could that excuse get? I really did believe I had more for me here, but I also wouldn't have the guts to go back home after what I did. Especially knowing how Josh reacted. My mom had even made it official for her to settle the rest of her life here in Arizona. I would have no one to come back to or with.

“I don’t feel like talking about this anymore.” He said bluntly and it sort of broke me. He was upset. I could tell and I couldn’t blame him either.

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later?” I said hopefully.

“Yeah, sure.” He said then hung up as soon as those words left his mouth.

I hung up also and set the home phone back down on the nightstand. It was already getting late and I had nothing else better to do so I decided to just find that sleep I needed and tried to get use to the time zones now seeing is that this is where I’m deciding to spend the rest of my life at now.