‹ Prequel: Black Cloaks, Red Clouds, Purple Nail Polish
Akatsuki Vs. Wal-Mart #513
Chapter One: Shopping List
"I NEED A NEW GIRLFRIEND!"
"IF YOU YELL IN MY EAR AGAIN, I'LL HELP ZETSU MAKE SUSHI OUT OF YOU!"
"Sorry, Tenshi."
"Thank you." Tenshi wrote down goldfish on the list. "What else?"
"I need Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner." Deidara held up an empty bottle. "And baby lotion, yeah."
Itachi smirked. "I need baby shampoo, Axe Kilo shower gel and body spray, baby oil, purple Sally Hansen nail polish, Neutrogena facial scrub, Degree for men, boxers, Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2, and Gillette Fusion replacement blades."
Tenshi gave him a highly dissatisfied look then wrote what she could remember down, asking for the other items once she finished. "Anyone else?"
"I need medical supplies." Sasori replied.
"As in?"
"Surgical knives and such."
Blink. Blink. "Er…I don't think Wal-Mart carries things like that."
Stare. "It's a super Wal-Mart. They have everything."
"Then you can harass the associates and find that stuff yourself."
"Fine. I'll also need vodka, rum, Grey Goose, wine—"
"I don't think Wal-Mart carries that either, Sasori." Tenshi cut him off, patience wearing thin.
"I wasn't aware you were paid to think."
Then a fight broke out. Arai came in and looked around the room (Itachi and Deidara cheering on the brawl) and let out a high whistle. Everyone froze and looked in her direction. Fighting irritation, she calmly put a toothpick in her mouth and spoke softly, voice full of authority. "What the hell is going on?"
Tenshi let go of Sasori's neck. "Ko-chan sent me in here to make a shopping list. We need to go to Wal-Mart."
Sasori snapped out of his daze (he'd realized Tenshi had got on top of him in a very "sexual" manner to try to kill him) and looked at Arai innocently. "She's being mean to us."
"WHAT?!"
Arai rolled her eyes. "Is it really impossible for you guys to get along for more than ten minutes at a time?" When everyone seemed to go into deep thought for an answer she added, "Don't answer that."
"So…I need batteries for my camera and DVDs for my camcorder." Zetsu announced breaking the silence.
Tenshi eyed him angrily but wrote it down. "Anyone else?"
Tobi flitted into the room. "Hannah Montana the Movie is out!"
The whole room groaned.
"IF YOU YELL IN MY EAR AGAIN, I'LL HELP ZETSU MAKE SUSHI OUT OF YOU!"
"Sorry, Tenshi."
"Thank you." Tenshi wrote down goldfish on the list. "What else?"
"I need Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner." Deidara held up an empty bottle. "And baby lotion, yeah."
Itachi smirked. "I need baby shampoo, Axe Kilo shower gel and body spray, baby oil, purple Sally Hansen nail polish, Neutrogena facial scrub, Degree for men, boxers, Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2, and Gillette Fusion replacement blades."
Tenshi gave him a highly dissatisfied look then wrote what she could remember down, asking for the other items once she finished. "Anyone else?"
"I need medical supplies." Sasori replied.
"As in?"
"Surgical knives and such."
Blink. Blink. "Er…I don't think Wal-Mart carries things like that."
Stare. "It's a super Wal-Mart. They have everything."
"Then you can harass the associates and find that stuff yourself."
"Fine. I'll also need vodka, rum, Grey Goose, wine—"
"I don't think Wal-Mart carries that either, Sasori." Tenshi cut him off, patience wearing thin.
"I wasn't aware you were paid to think."
Then a fight broke out. Arai came in and looked around the room (Itachi and Deidara cheering on the brawl) and let out a high whistle. Everyone froze and looked in her direction. Fighting irritation, she calmly put a toothpick in her mouth and spoke softly, voice full of authority. "What the hell is going on?"
Tenshi let go of Sasori's neck. "Ko-chan sent me in here to make a shopping list. We need to go to Wal-Mart."
Sasori snapped out of his daze (he'd realized Tenshi had got on top of him in a very "sexual" manner to try to kill him) and looked at Arai innocently. "She's being mean to us."
"WHAT?!"
Arai rolled her eyes. "Is it really impossible for you guys to get along for more than ten minutes at a time?" When everyone seemed to go into deep thought for an answer she added, "Don't answer that."
"So…I need batteries for my camera and DVDs for my camcorder." Zetsu announced breaking the silence.
Tenshi eyed him angrily but wrote it down. "Anyone else?"
Tobi flitted into the room. "Hannah Montana the Movie is out!"
The whole room groaned.