I See You Lying Next To Me

Alicia and Mikey were lying in bed together.

”Has he told you yet?” asked Alicia.

“No, nothing.”

“I don’t believe it, perhaps he can’t believe it himself. Eliza told me they spoke to one another about a week ago and he seemed OK with the situation and that he was going to stand by her.” Said Alicia turning and snuggling into her fiancée.

“I really honestly thought that he and Kitty were going to get back together,” said Mikey putting his arm round Alicia.

”So did I. I was hoping they would, I love Kitty.” Said Alicia.

“We all do,” said Mikey.

”Yeah, especially Ray,” said Alicia, giggling.

”Will you shut up about that,” said Mike laughing at his fiancée who was convinced that Ray had a little thing for Kitty.

”No, I think he really liked her, he always had puppy dog eyes around her.”

“They just got on well, you read too much into things, I hope you haven’t said anything to Eliza about that, Ray would just die of embarrassment if he knew. I think you’re wrong, they just shared interests and got on well.”

“I’m right. I know don’t worry, I haven’t told Eliza. You know she changed once she started mixing with you guys, she used to be carefree, now its as though she’s obsessed by something, she’s not as much fun so no, there’s a lot I haven’t shared with her. What do you think will happen?”

“With Gerard and the…baby?” asked Mikey.

“Yeah, do you think they’ll get it together?” said Alicia not imagining Gerard and Eliza together.

”I don’t know, I just don’t know Alicia but I wish he’d say something to me.” Said Mikey who was slightly hurt that his brother who shared everything with him hadn’t said anything about this important issue.

“I’m sure he will in his own time, it must have been a shock to him.” Said Alicia.

“Yeah and hey, Bob was saying that Liz is coming out tomorrow.” Said Mikey, changing the subject, not wanting to think about his brother with Eliza. There was only one person that ever seemed right for his brother and that was Kitty, but Kitty obviously didn’t think this any more.

“I bet he’s so pleased, she’s a great girl. I might just ask Liz how come Kitty got engaged to someone else and didn’t tell Gerard before and why write him a letter? It just doesn’t make sense and doesn’t seem like something that Kitty would do.” Said Alicia frowning up at Mikey.

“Don’t say anything Alicia, please, it’ll just make things awkward for Liz, if she brings it up then fine but if not, please don’t say anything, this tour is going to be long and hard enough without any bad feeling between everyone.”

“You’re right, I should just try and forget it, I just wish….”

“Wish what?” said Mike bending and kissing his fiancées nose.

”That…that Kitty and Gerard hadn’t split up all those years ago, that’s all.”

**

“Mikey, I need to speak to you, want to go for a walk?” said Gerard.

“Sure, give me a minute,” said Mikey. This was it; Gerard was ready to tell him.

The sun was hot but Gerard walked quite fast as he didn’t do the heat very well. He’d always hated the sun and hated sitting in it and most of the time he covered himself up with long sleeves. They found a coffee shop just along from where they were staying and Gerard had decided to take Mikey there.

It was pretty crowded in the coffee shop but they managed to find a table tucked away in the back hardly noticing the looks that a few people gave them, obviously recognising who they were.

“I think you know what this is about don’t you?” said Gerard looking into his brother’s eyes.

”Its Eliza isn’t it?” said Mikey.

“Yeah, she’s…we’re having a baby,” said Gerard.

But Mikey didn’t look shocked, as he already knew.

“I know. She’d already told Alicia and then of course…”

“Alicia told you,” said Gerard slightly jealous of the closeness of those two, it just reminded him of his times with Kitty but now it just felt like a kick in the face when he saw couples together knowing he’d had that closeness with someone once.

“Yeah, she told me. What the fuck were you playing at man? Your dick must have got out of control that night; I didn’t think you liked her. You don’t like her that much I know you don’t.”

“You’re right, I don’t like her that much. She’s OK. I’d rather block out the events of that night but…now I’ve got to pay for it. We’ve talked and I said I’d support her however she wanted me to.”

“She wants your dick again dude, that’s easy enough to see,” said Mikey.

”She wont be getting that again, no, financially and stepping in when needed is what I meant.” Said Gerard.

Mikey shook his head. “I don’t believe this is happening, we’ve just started touring and now this, I hope this tour isn’t set up for bad things happening,” he said.

”Don’t be stupid,” said Gerard.

Gerard looked tired with dark circles under his eyes and Mikey knew how he had trouble sleeping most nights and this only made matters worse. He only ever slept well when Kitty was with him.

“I wish it was Kitty,” said Gerard suddenly.

“Wish what was Kitty?” said Mikey.

”Having my baby,” said Gerard.

“Oh Gerard, its over now, you’re going to have to accept it and move on. Try and look forward, we’ve got the tour, you’re gonna be a dad, jeeze, wait until mom and dad here about that one and…it’ll be OK, soon Kitty will be a thing of the past. She’s leading her own life, you need to lead yours.”

“You’re right, I know you’re right but it’s going to take time.” Said Gerard.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking, how about Mikey if it’s a boy, sounds like a wonderful good strong name to me,” said Mikey trying to make light of the situation.

But Gerard just gave a small smile and Mikey knew that his brother wasn’t happy.

**

“You didn’t have to come to the airport with me,” said Liz. Liz felt happy and sad at the same time, happy because she was going to be with Bob and sad for Kitty who deserved some happiness. She was a bit worried about her but she knew that with Jerry’s help she’d get along OK. Liz had warned Jerry that sometimes Kitty needed a push and a reminder to do things. She was sure the gallery would run smoothly now that Jerry was there to help out.

“I wanted to, I had to come. I’m so pleased for you Liz but you make sure you come back and visit soon.”

“Of course I will, the guys are bound to be touring here and I’ll call you every day and Kitty if you want me, for anything at all, day or night, please ring.”

”Of course I will, come here,” said Kitty hugging her friend tight. She was going to miss Liz but she knew she had to do this. She wanted Liz to be happy and she knew that Bob was a good guy and would take good care of her.

They were calling for Liz’s flight so they knew that it was time for her to go.

“Say hello to all of them wont you?” said Kitty.

”Of course I will and remember what I said,” said Liz, “any time. I’m only a phone call away.”

“I Know. Take care,” said Kitty but she turned and left the airport, tears filling her eyes. What the hell was going on? Everything had changed over the past few months. She’d made the decision that she would tell Gerard about his baby, she had to of course but she just wanted to leave it awhile, make sure that everything was OK with the baby, talk to Dan and tell him her decision then she’d have to somehow contact Gerard but at the moment she couldn’t think of that, she could only take each day as it came.

At least she had Billie’s painting to be getting on with and Jerry was good company.

She was sure she’d be fine.

She hung around the airport for a little bit longer, grabbed something to eat and watched Liz’s plane take off wishing that it was her flying off to see Gerard, to be with him.

What would his grandmother have thought about all this?

Kitty felt ashamed slightly for letting Elena down. Looking back, she wished she’d called Gerard that day and explained rather than writing a letter to him, but what would have been the point anyway thought Kitty as she grabbed a taxi that took her to Central Park.

He doesn’t want me anyway.

May be there’s another way out. Because I don’t have to have Gerard’s baby and if I didn’t have Gerard’s baby then I would never have to see Gerard again.

Well, that seems to be what he wants thought Kitty as the taxi flew across New York taking her back to her gallery.