I See You Lying Next To Me

“What’s wrong Frank? You’ve been quiet today, the tour taking its toll?” said Jamia coming up behind her boyfriend and wrapping her arms around him, leaning on his warm back and closing her eyes.

”Its nothing, I’m just a little tired, that’s all,” said Frank who was looking out the window.

“Come on, I know when something is bothering you. I think I know what it is,” said Jamia reluctantly releasing herself from Frank but going to stand next to him. He wasn’t looking at her.

“Oh yeah, and what do you think it is that’s bothering me?” said Frank.

“I think its Eliza and Gerard,” said Jamia.

Frank looked down at his pretty girlfriend’s face, the face he’d looked into for so many years now, he loved her so much.

“You’re right, of course you are. I don’t like it Jamia.” Said Frank putting his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders and pulling her close.

“I know. Neither do I, in fact, I don’t like Eliza. I don’t hate her but I think she’s always tried to get in with Gerard right from the very first weekend. Its wrong and I’m surprised that Gerard didn’t see it.” she said snuggling once again into his warmth.

“Because he had Kitty, that’s why. Why would he look at her when he had Kitty, they had everything those two, I still can’t believe they didn’t get it together, I was really hoping. He’s lost without her but its like he can’t see it.” said Frank.

“But she has someone else now, which I find hard to believe. You know she said to me once that she couldn’t imagine being with anyone else other than Gerard. She didn’t want to be with anyone else other than Gerard. Its sad that its come to this.”

“Well, I suppose the time they spent apart, those two years, a lot can happen. Gerard’s tough to get along with, it takes someone special to understand him.”

“Well Kitty seemed to understand him alright.”

“Well…that’s because she is special but may be she’d had enough of it all and realised when she met up with him again that she couldn’t go through it all once more.”

“Yeah but…I really thought they would get back together, I miss those times we used to have, the four of us. I can’t ever imagine doing what the four of us did with Eliza.” Said Jamia.

“Oh I don’t think Gerard wants to be with Eliza like that, I just think he’s going to be around for the baby.”

“Yeah and with the baby comes her,” said Jamia, “and that’s what you’re worried about, right?”

“Yeah.”

Jamia and Frank just held onto each other as they looked out the window.

**

“That is fucking great man,” said Mikey taking the headphones off. They were at the back of the tour bus and Ray had been playing around on his computer and had come up with something, already planning ahead for the next album, that was Ray.

“You wait until Gerard hears it,” said Mikey. “He’s gonna love it.”

“Yeah but he doesn’t like much just lately does he?” said Ray logging of the laptop and tidying stuff away, his hair falling over his eyes.

“No, he’s got a few things on his mind.” Said Mikey.

“Is it about Kitty?” said Ray, still not looking up, just getting on with tidying.

”Kind of,” said Mikey. “I think he was hoping they were going to get back together and I think its just cut him up a little bit that they didn’t and then the letter about her being with someone else, that was like the nail in the coffin.”

“So its over,” said Ray.

“Yeah, it has to be, she’s engaged to someone else and…there’s something else, it’s just you and Bob that haven’t heard. Its Eliza, she’s pregnant.”

“whoah, I missed that one, whose the un..I mean lucky guy?” said Ray.

“Its…Gerard.” Said Mikey hardly wanting to say the words himself because he didn’t want to believe them himself.

“Fuck no,” said Ray. “No way, I didn’t think…”

“None of us thought that he liked her like that in fact he doesn’t he’s made it clear to me, he’s never really liked her in that way, it was a one off and a mistake, that’s what he says and now he’s got to pay for it.”

“What’s he going to do?” said Ray, gobsacked at all this talk.

“Well she’s going to keep the baby so he’s offered to support her, financially and if she needs him but he doesn’t want to be with her.”

“I can’t believe it,” said Ray sitting down in the seat of the bus.

“No one can. He has to do the right thing, you know what he’s like, he’d never walk away from his responsibilities.”

“I know. Poor Gerard and he and Kitty, I can’t get over it, you know when we were in New York I was sure they were going to make it, sure of it,” said Ray.

“Yeah well, seems like we didn’t really know Kitty after all.” Said Mikey.

Two Weeks Later

“Oh my god, that is awesome,” said Jerry coming into the art room with a bottle of water for Kitty.

“Thanks,” said Kitty taking a step back to look at her work. “I’ve made good progress,” she said.

“Is this the first famous person that you’ve painted for?” said Jerry.

No actually, I painted for Gerard Way, you know, he of My Chemical Romance. I knew him once before he became famous, we were lovers, friends, we were everything and, well I thought I knew him and I used to paint for him, and he used to draw for me, we painted naked once…

“Yeah,” said Kitty ridding herself of the thoughts of Gerard that would just pop up here and there as she went about her day. It didn’t take much to be reminded of him; nearly everything reminded her of him he had been such a part of her life. When would these thoughts stop?

“So when is to be finished by?” Said Jerry looking at Kitty. He liked Kitty, she was great to work for and for a 29 year old woman she was sure good looking. It was sad that her fiancée was crippled and would never walk again but Kitty didn’t seem that worried about him, she just went off after the shop closed over to this guy’s mother’s house to have dinner and then he didn’t know what time she came home as he himself had left the gallery then. Perhaps she stayed over with him? They were to be married after all.

“Well they are having a huge anniversary party in about 10 weeks but I’d like it done about a week before then because it’s going to be transported. It’s going to be unveiled at this party apparently.”

”So where’s the party?” said Jerry taking an interest and suddenly noticing how blue Kitty’s eyes were in the art room light.

“Its in LA somewhere,” said Kitty putting her paintbrushes into the jar of water that she always kept beside her. “I think I’m finished for the day,” said Kitty.

“Oh, you finishing early, going out somewhere?” sad Jerry.

“Well, I’m going to Dan’s place early. There’s something I need to discuss with him.” Said Kitty who had decided that tonight was the night she was going to tell him. It’s going to be difficult but it had to be done.

“How is he, your fiancée?” said Jerry.

“He’s doing well, he has this fantastic wheelchair, I think he’s going to join some sports club that deals with people that are in wheelchairs,” said Kitty glad that Dan was getting on with his life. He’d got really friendly with a young nurse that came in each day to wash him and give him some medication. Kitty noticed the nurse, Daisy had grown closer to Dan and she was quit pleased about this but she knew now that it was time to break off with him, she couldn’t do this any longer.

“Listen, Jerry,” said Kitty taking the bottle of water from him and unscrewing the cap. “I think it’s about time we had a real chat and I told you something, something about Dan,” she said taking a drink. “Shall we shut up the gallery early and when I’ve showered and before I go to Dans, how about you come up to the apartment and then we can talk. I feel you need a few explanations. I’ve been a bit cranky lately but I have good reason to be. You’ll realise why when you find out.” She said.

“Great,” said Jerry. “I have a few things to do, I’ll lock up and log off the computer then I’ll come up. Half an hour?” said Jerry.

“Half an hour’s fine,” said Kitty watching the young 20 year old as he headed off to the gallery. He was so enthusiastic and helpful she felt it was time that he knew what had been going on in her life.

**

While she was in the shower Kitty contemplated what had happened over the past couple of weeks. Liz had arrived safely in LA and was having a fabulous time with Bob although she said most of the guys were so tired from the tour she’d hardly got to speak to them all. Gerard was one of them and Liz had said he had hardly met her eye let alone talk to her. “I think he knows he was wrong not calling you,” Kitty remembered Liz saying. On subsequent phone calls Kitty was desperate to tell Liz that she was pregnant but had decided to leave it just to make sure that she was definitely pregnant and had made her mind up about how she was going to handle everything.

She’d done two home tests that proved positive and had then gone to visit the doctor who had also said that she was definitely pregnant and had done the relevant checks. The dates worked out that it was definitely Gerard’s baby but she already knew that.

She had no doubt at all.

She hadn’t been sick, just felt a little extra tired but as long as she got to bed at a decent time of night she was fine.

Billie’s painting was gong perfectly and she’d already emailed Adrienne Armstrong three pictures of the progress of the painting but each time, Adrienne had called back thanking her and they’d spent ages on the phone and had become good friends. Adrienne wanted her to come out with the painting and join the party but Kitty wasn’t sure, she wasn’t sure about leaving Jerry with the gallery so she hadn’t committed to Adrienne and said that she’d go she’d just said she’d think about it.

Then tonight was the night she was gong to tell Dan. She couldn’t wait any longer. She cared for him a lot and felt it was time that he knew.

**

“So when is it due?” said Jerry gobsmacked that Kitty had just confessed that she was pregnant and not with her fiancé Dan who she was dumping tonight.

“In about 8 months,” said Kitty, “so ages yet but I thought I’d tell you, put you in the picture because I’m probably going to need your help.” She said.

”Of course I’ll help,” said Jerry. “Can I ask you something?” said Jerry looking at Kitty who he’d grown incredibly fond of.

“Of course you can,” said Kitty.

”Its very personal but, you don’t have to tell me. If…if your fiancée isn’t the father, who is? Sorry, sorry, that was rude of me, its just what I was thinking and it came out.” Said Jerry, embarrassed.

“Jerry its fine, its someone, someone that I was with from a very young age We met at 16 and were together for ten years but we got into something we shouldn’t have and went our separate ways for a while, two years in fact. During that two years I’d always hoped we’d get back together but I thought he’d moved on with his life, that’s why I met Dan. I didn’t ever really love Dan, not after this other guy so I shouldn’t have really got with him in the first place. Anyway, while Dan was away I met up with my old boyfriend and we…spent some time together and I hoped that we could get back where we’d left off but it wasn’t meant to be. It seems he didn’t see me in that way after all. Then I found out I was having his baby. I have to be fair to Dan, I have to tell him about it then I can get on with my life.”

“Will you tell your old boyfriend about the baby?” said Jerry.

“Yes, yes I will but not quite yet. I’m not ready yet, may be when I start to get a bump.” Kitty said.

“Ten years together is a long time Kitty.” Said Jerry. “Some marriages don’t last that long.”

“It is and I never thought we’d ever be apart,” said Kitty tears springing to her eyes.

“So where is he now?” said Jerry who’d decided that Kitty still cared deeply for this guy, whoever this guy was.

”He’s in LA, making a few finishing touches to his album, they’ve just finished recording their video for the song off the album and…shit,” said Kitty realising that may be she had just given too much information away.

“So…he’s in a band or something? Is he famous?” said Jerry.

“Well…yeah he is,” said Kitty. “He’s…he’s Gerard Way but I met him way before he came famous.”

“Fucking hell, the singer from MCR, no way. I thought he was gay,” said Jerry.

“He’s far from it,” said Kitty, smiling.

“Really? Are you sure he’s not gay? There’s no pictures of him on the internet with anyone, there’s so much speculation.”

“He’s not gay, I can vouch for that,” Kitty said rubbing her stomach.

“Of course. Oh my god Kitty, I love them, I love MCR.”

“I do to, and in real life they’re the best guys you could ever meet.” Kitty said.

**

That night Kitty slept well, surprisingly. The evening with Dan was a bit of a strain but he’d taken it pretty well, as though he was expecting it and then just before he left he confessed something too.

“Kitty, we never were right for each other, I see that now. I’m sorry if I didn’t make you happy,” he said.

“Dan, its not your fault, some day, some day you’ll find someone and you’ll know what I mean when I say that I loved someone once and nothing else will match it.”

”I think I‘ve found her. I,..Kitty..I’m in love with Daisy.”

“Dan I’m so pleased for you.” Kitty said and she was, genuinely pleased but she sort of knew that something had been going in there, she was happy for him.

“Thanks. I know what you mean, we weren’t meant for each other and Kitty, I hope you do get to meet someone that matches up with your ex boyfriend. Is he really a singer in a rock band?”

“Yeah, he is and a bloody good band at that,” Kitty said from the doorway, always proud of those guys and what they’d achieved. She loved them all, she missed them. She always would but she’d have to move on at some point.

“What’s his name?” said Dan.

“Its Gerard Way and he sings for My Chemical Romance.”

“I’ve never heard of them,” said Dan.

“I didn’t think you would have,” said Kitty and the two of them actually burst out laughing before they said their final goodbyes, friends, just like they should have been in the first place, Kitty promising to call in sometimes and visit and Dan wishing her lots of luck.

She was going to need it.