All We Have

shy miller.
Seth laughed at me as I hopped out of my truck, chuckling and muttering something under his breath. I stopped, setting my gaze on him while crossing my arms across my chest.

“What?”

Seth looked at me innocently, a small smile threatening to appear on his face, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” If there was one thing I knew best about my brother it would have to be the fact that I was always able to tell when he was lying. I was one of the only people that was able to catch almost every single one of his lies. And right now was one of those moments when I caught him in one.

“Mmhm, I’m so sure.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him playfully as I slapped his arm lightly.

“I was just thinking that you’ve not grown an inch these past few years; you had to hop out of your truck, Shy. You’re such a midget!” he snickered with a grin spreading across his face. I groaned, covering my face with my hands before I pouted, glaring at my older brother who never ceased with his jokes about my height. It wasn’t my fault I stood at a fairly short 5’5” compared to his 6’1” height.

“I hate you.” I muttered in all seriousness, punching his arm with force. Even though my face was as emotionless as possible when I said it, I couldn’t stop the giggle that erupted once I saw him actually wince a bit, his mouth opening in slight shock. “What? Didn’t think I could actually punch hard, did ya?”

Seth stared at me for a moment before he let out a laugh, shaking his head as he grabbed my arm and pulled me along with him towards the Wal-Mart entrance. It wasn’t long at all before we made it into the store, heading straight towards the paint isle. My room was definitely not going to stay the pink color it was now.

My eyes skimmed through the large amount of sample colors a few times, none of them really catching my attention until I found a light wintergreen color. It wasn’t bright at all like the pink in my room was; and as I pondered it a bit further, I decided that my walls were to be painted the color wintergreen. I showed the color to Seth, “What do ya think?”

“I like it.”

I smiled lightly, “Let’s get the paint, and… I’m thinking I want a new comforter too.”

Seth laughed and nodded, walking over to where the paint I wanted was, picking up a few cans of the color along with a can of black paint.



The music blasting from the truck’s stereo shut off as I turned the ignition off once my truck was parked directly in front of the best place in the world. The large, red letters spelt out Samurai Sam’s and I smiled as I opened the truck door. They had the best Chinese food in the entire universe and it was one of the only places that I could never get sick of eating at. It was just impossible.

“I miss this place.” I stated randomly as Seth and I walked into the familiar place, the door letting out a small chime as we entered. Not many people were in the restaurant, but the few that were looked to the entrance in curiosity, wondering who had just walked in. I watched a few guys wave at my brother before calling him over.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, and I nodded, I smile on my face as I walked up to order some takeout for the both of us.

I didn’t bother looked up at the menu as I told the cashier my order, two bowls of teriyaki chicken and a peanut butter banana smoothie, murmuring a small 'thank you' at him as he handed me my change. “It’ll be just a few minutes,” he grinned. I offered him a small smile, walking over to where Seth was right after.

I recognized a few faces here and there, but just barely. I mean, it had been a few years; I wasn’t surprised that everyone looked different. I mean… look at me.

Conversation between Seth and the guys died down as they realized I had joined them and I stood there awkwardly, not a clue as to what to say.

“Wait… I know you from somewhere, don’t I?” Bradley Smith asked. He hadn’t changed much at all. He still had the same dirty blond hair, and the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. Brad had been like another older brother to me when I was younger and he was definitely one of the people that I had missed terribly while I had been gone.

I chuckled lightly, nodding my head. His blue eyes stayed locked on mine for a few seconds before something clicked in his head and he shot out of his seat, a loud squeak noise emitted into the place, and pointed a finger at me. His mouth had dropped open a bit in what I knew was shock; he slightly resembled a fish gaping for water.

“I’d know those green eyes anywhere!” he exclaimed loudly as he rushed forward and engulfed me in a tight hug. The rest of the guys stared at him oddly, wondering what the hell he was going on about. Their facial expressions changed as they heard Bradley said, “I’ve missed you, Shy Miller.”

Realization dawned on them and they all looked me over again, as if they couldn’t believe that the one hundred twenty pound girl in front of them was the same girl that had once been overweight and made fun of.

“Well, Bradley Smith, I’ve missed you as well.” I stated as I hugged him back tightly, breathing his all too familiar scent in.

After we pulled away he smiled brightly, seeming to forget that the others were there, “How long are you visiting for?” he asked with enthusiasm. I looked up at his large frame, biting my lip softly as I nervously said, “Um, I’m actually moving back…” Bradley’s eyes sparkled before he pulled me into yet another one of his bone crushing hugs.

“Heeeey now, how about we don’t suffocate my baby sis’?” Seth laughed, rubbing my hair with his large hand. I groaned, smacking his hand away from me as I looked back at the guys. Trevan Moore, James Morin, Doug Johnson, Dallin Richardson, and Spencer Smith, Brad’s younger brother, all stared at me, smiling as I muttered a soft 'hey'. It wasn’t long before they all took turns hugging me, all of them telling me that I had been missed.

Seth and I stayed with the guys and chatted for a few more minutes but, once our food was ready, we said bye and left, promising that we’d all hang out soon.

“Agh. I’ve missed them so much!” I exclaimed to Seth as my truck came to a stop ten minutes later in the driveway of our house, the smell of the Chinese food resting on the seat making me hungry. I could easily remember all the times Seth and I would hang out with them and watch movies and just goof around. There wasn’t anyone like those boys back in California. There were definitely one of a kind.

Seth grabbed the takeout before he took off, no doubt wanting to just dig in. I chuckled at my older brother, shaking my head as I walked up to the front door, heading straight for the kitchen to make sure he didn’t scarf down my food as well as his. Right as I was walking into the kitchen to grab my bowl of Chinese food, Seth was walking out and I instantly knew where he was headed. Every single time we got takeout from Samurai Sam’s; we’d always just hang out in the living room and watch movies. It was just a sort of tradition for the two of us. And I was definitely glad it hadn’t died out while I was gone.

A few short minutes later, I joined my older brother in the living room, instantly curling up on one end of the couch, my eyes glued to the television. I laughed when I saw the name of the movie pop up on the screen. Looking over at Seth, I squealed, “I love this movie!”

The Hangover was, no doubt, one of my favorite movies of all time.



I pulled my hair up into a messy bun as I bounded down the stairs, my feet thudding softly against the smooth carpet. After Seth and I had finished watching our movie I had gone upstairs to start cleaning my room out, I couldn’t wait to paint it. I could hear the television from the living room and I headed there to see if my mom was watching TV.

I let my feet, clad in socks, carry me to the living room, my voice calling out once I saw Seth sprawled across the couch, the gray remote in his hand, “Seth, have you seen mom?”

Seth didn’t even look my way as he replied, “I think she’s outside.” I muttered a small ‘thanks’ and that was when I felt another pair of eyes in the room. My green eyes locked with a pair of brown one’s and I felt my good mood diminish almost instantly. The way he was looking at me made it obvious that now he realized who I was. I mean, he wasn’t retarded either, not completely, but he obviously knew I was me if I was calling Seth’s mom my mom as well.

I stared at him blankly, watching as his eyes grew wider with every second that went by, shock spreading across his face. It was times like these when I felt the need to take a picture. Ryan’s facial expression was priceless. It was as if he couldn’t believe what was right in front of his eyes, like the girl in front of him couldn’t be the same girl he’d tormented in the past. And from the expression on his face, I could tell he didn’t want to remember, but I knew all too well that he did.

If I remembered what he’d put me through, there was no way he didn’t remember.

“Shy?”

I took one long look at his shocked face before I gave him a look to kill, turned around swiftly, and walked right out of the living room and straight up to my bedroom, making sure to slam the door.