Status: Complete :')
Note to Self: Just Breathe
The Funeral
Aidan had handled his father’s death fairly well, but that was because he was being strong for his mother. After Kevin passed away I pried my hand out of his, tears were streaming down my face, but I quietly left the room, I wasn’t family.
I wrote a quick note, saying; If you need me, I’ll be here. x
I quietly shut the door, trying to hold in the tears that so badly wanted to escape.
I finally reached my home, and at this point my vision was blurred for the tears.
Kevin’s death didn’t hurt as much as Lucas’, but it pained me that it was killing Aidan.
I stumbled upstairs, tugging my coat off and trying to tear my clothes off. I couldn’t breathe, I was scratching at my skin, and I felt so hot— like I was being suffocated.
I finally reached my room, and I knew Blake was still awake. I must have looked a mess to him, my mascara was running and I came in half naked, but I didn’t care.
“Willow! Willow, what’s wrong?” He asked panicked.
“I-I can’t breathe,” I rushed, still clawing at my clothes.
I felt him help me undress with frantic hands, pulling at my top and jeans, until I stood there, panting in just my underwear.
I turned around to him, hugging myself to him.
“Willow! You’re scaring me now—what’s wrong?”
“Aidan’s,” I gulped. “Aidan’s dad has died.” I told him. I felt him stiffen underneath me, he wasn’t even close to Kevin, but he loved Aidan.
“How?” He breathed.
“He had some sort of Leukaemia,” I mumbled into his chest. “And I found out and that was why Aidan and I was always so close, Kevin considered me his daughter,” I told him. I had stopped crying now, though I knew I would begin again.
“Okay, Li-Li. Sleep, you need rest” He guided me to bed, setting me in before coming in himself and wrapping his arms around my frame. “I love you,” he whispered into my neck, but I didn’t answer, I was already too far under.
***
The following week passed by in a blur. I spent most of my time with Aidan and Linda, helping them with certain funeral plans, although Kevin had planned it very thoroughly.
Soon the funeral came; Kevin and Linda didn’t have a big family. They were both only child’s whose parents had passed away already. It was only Linda, the gang, friends, and I who were present.
I watched Aidan, Blake, James, Josh and two of Kevin’s friends carry the coffin through the church. Linda, Aidan and a friend spoke first about Kevin; but soon it would be my turn.
I stood up at the podium, fighting the nerves.
“Umm, before he died, Kevin gave me a letter and told me he wants me to read it out at the service. So here goes.
All my life I have said I have been blessed. I had a good upbringing, a loving wife and a charismatic son. A well paid job and a beer in my hand every Friday. So maybe that is why God has decided to take me from you all so early. A sort of penance, I presume. I asked Willow to read this out because she is strong, and I love her. She is my surrogate daughter, just as she is Aidans brother. Linda I love dearly. She’s my lover, my best friend and my wife—she’s everything I could wish for. And now Aidan. Aidan, Aidan, Aidan. What can I say about him? He’s funny, down to earth. I remember his birth in room 435, and sometimes when he walks down the stairs I expect the little bouncing toddler who wants his tricycle out the shed. Instead I see a man. An intelligent, witty, kind man, who no one could compete with. Be patient, we shall see each other again soon. Love Kevin.”
I stood down from the podium, my shoulders shaking and my lips clamped together to stop myself from crying. After that we had to bury him. Aidan held Linda, whilst Blake held me, yet I still reached for the free hand of Aidan. He needed me. The service was soon over, the headstone already in place.
Kevin Harrison
Fell asleep February 3, 2009; aged 49
A loving husband and father
Always to be remembered with a smile
May he Rest in Peace
I wrote a quick note, saying; If you need me, I’ll be here. x
I quietly shut the door, trying to hold in the tears that so badly wanted to escape.
I finally reached my home, and at this point my vision was blurred for the tears.
Kevin’s death didn’t hurt as much as Lucas’, but it pained me that it was killing Aidan.
I stumbled upstairs, tugging my coat off and trying to tear my clothes off. I couldn’t breathe, I was scratching at my skin, and I felt so hot— like I was being suffocated.
I finally reached my room, and I knew Blake was still awake. I must have looked a mess to him, my mascara was running and I came in half naked, but I didn’t care.
“Willow! Willow, what’s wrong?” He asked panicked.
“I-I can’t breathe,” I rushed, still clawing at my clothes.
I felt him help me undress with frantic hands, pulling at my top and jeans, until I stood there, panting in just my underwear.
I turned around to him, hugging myself to him.
“Willow! You’re scaring me now—what’s wrong?”
“Aidan’s,” I gulped. “Aidan’s dad has died.” I told him. I felt him stiffen underneath me, he wasn’t even close to Kevin, but he loved Aidan.
“How?” He breathed.
“He had some sort of Leukaemia,” I mumbled into his chest. “And I found out and that was why Aidan and I was always so close, Kevin considered me his daughter,” I told him. I had stopped crying now, though I knew I would begin again.
“Okay, Li-Li. Sleep, you need rest” He guided me to bed, setting me in before coming in himself and wrapping his arms around my frame. “I love you,” he whispered into my neck, but I didn’t answer, I was already too far under.
***
The following week passed by in a blur. I spent most of my time with Aidan and Linda, helping them with certain funeral plans, although Kevin had planned it very thoroughly.
Soon the funeral came; Kevin and Linda didn’t have a big family. They were both only child’s whose parents had passed away already. It was only Linda, the gang, friends, and I who were present.
I watched Aidan, Blake, James, Josh and two of Kevin’s friends carry the coffin through the church. Linda, Aidan and a friend spoke first about Kevin; but soon it would be my turn.
I stood up at the podium, fighting the nerves.
“Umm, before he died, Kevin gave me a letter and told me he wants me to read it out at the service. So here goes.
All my life I have said I have been blessed. I had a good upbringing, a loving wife and a charismatic son. A well paid job and a beer in my hand every Friday. So maybe that is why God has decided to take me from you all so early. A sort of penance, I presume. I asked Willow to read this out because she is strong, and I love her. She is my surrogate daughter, just as she is Aidans brother. Linda I love dearly. She’s my lover, my best friend and my wife—she’s everything I could wish for. And now Aidan. Aidan, Aidan, Aidan. What can I say about him? He’s funny, down to earth. I remember his birth in room 435, and sometimes when he walks down the stairs I expect the little bouncing toddler who wants his tricycle out the shed. Instead I see a man. An intelligent, witty, kind man, who no one could compete with. Be patient, we shall see each other again soon. Love Kevin.”
I stood down from the podium, my shoulders shaking and my lips clamped together to stop myself from crying. After that we had to bury him. Aidan held Linda, whilst Blake held me, yet I still reached for the free hand of Aidan. He needed me. The service was soon over, the headstone already in place.
Kevin Harrison
Fell asleep February 3, 2009; aged 49
A loving husband and father
Always to be remembered with a smile
May he Rest in Peace