Status: Complete :')
Note to Self: Just Breathe
Slag!
I went to speak but Cohen got there first. “It wasn’t like that, babe. I only had sex with her because she threatened to go to the police if I didn’t; saying that she would tell them I raped her.”
“What! I never said that. You raped me!” I screamed.
“No I didn’t! We had sex; that is all,” He told me firmly.
“No, I said yes at first, but when I started saying no you still continued. You drugged me and raped me, I even have the marks to prove it, after you hit me with the belt. And then you took me to yours and Scarlett’s sordid little closet and raped me in there,”
“Look! I know you’re upset with Blake and all but there is no need to try and break up Scarlett’s and I relationship. I love her; I only had sex with you because I don’t want to be in prison.” He explained to me calmly.
At this point I was fuming. Scarlett, mum and dad were all starring at me angrily.
I looked at dad, begging him with my eyes, so I didn’t see it when Scarlett lunged at me. I heard the slap across my face before I felt it. Dad had rushed forward to stop her and I placed my hand on my cheek—dazed.
“You little slapper! Unhappy with fucking Blake so you move on to my fiancée! And blackmailing him! You should be thrown out on the street so you can sell your body. At least then you’ll get some money for it!” She spat, struggling against my father’s hold.
“Enough!” My mother shouted. “Scarlett that wasn't necessary. And as for you, Willow, I don’t want to look at you. Get in your room and don’t come out till I say so! I shall be speaking with you later.”
Everything was quiet after my mother’s outburst and I slouched off to my room. In less than 24 hours I had lost my entire life. Everyone hated me. Yet almost everyone still loved Cohen.
***
Once upon a time I knew who I was. But now I wasn’t so sure. Before the raping incident I was happy, healthy—but now I was just a shadow. 3 weeks had passed since Blake had left me, and I couldn’t stop thinking of him. Love is everything in life; simple in theory, complex in practice. And there was no one who knew it more than me. I had tried to contact him on numerous occasions, and all I had received was one email off of him.
Willow,
I’m sorry but I can’t see you anymore. I trusted you and I loved you, but you broke my heart. I still do love you, but I don’t want to see you. I'm moving away soon anyway, I told dad he should take that promotion on London so he has. It’s for the best. Blake.
I had stopped eating, there was no point anymore. I was forever under surveillance in my room. Unable to come out unless I wouldn’t the bathroom or something to eat. But I didn’t need to eat. Scarlett had left our family. She and Cohen had run away to Ireland. She chose to believe him over me.
It felt like taking me to the highest mountain, showing me the world, and saying this is what you can’t have; but sometimes you’ve got to get hurt in order to grow, sometimes our visions seem clearer after our eyes are washed with tears. I’d much rather die than live a hundred years without Blake and I would love it if goodbyes only lasted till tomorrow. But the world didn’t work that way. Everybody is going to hurt you one way or another; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. He was every reason, every hope, and every dream, and for it to be cruelly snatched from me killed me on the inside, and also on the outside. Hell began the day he left, but I would suffer hell for him. I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up; or perhaps wake up and this was all just a terrible nightmare. There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.
“What! I never said that. You raped me!” I screamed.
“No I didn’t! We had sex; that is all,” He told me firmly.
“No, I said yes at first, but when I started saying no you still continued. You drugged me and raped me, I even have the marks to prove it, after you hit me with the belt. And then you took me to yours and Scarlett’s sordid little closet and raped me in there,”
“Look! I know you’re upset with Blake and all but there is no need to try and break up Scarlett’s and I relationship. I love her; I only had sex with you because I don’t want to be in prison.” He explained to me calmly.
At this point I was fuming. Scarlett, mum and dad were all starring at me angrily.
I looked at dad, begging him with my eyes, so I didn’t see it when Scarlett lunged at me. I heard the slap across my face before I felt it. Dad had rushed forward to stop her and I placed my hand on my cheek—dazed.
“You little slapper! Unhappy with fucking Blake so you move on to my fiancée! And blackmailing him! You should be thrown out on the street so you can sell your body. At least then you’ll get some money for it!” She spat, struggling against my father’s hold.
“Enough!” My mother shouted. “Scarlett that wasn't necessary. And as for you, Willow, I don’t want to look at you. Get in your room and don’t come out till I say so! I shall be speaking with you later.”
Everything was quiet after my mother’s outburst and I slouched off to my room. In less than 24 hours I had lost my entire life. Everyone hated me. Yet almost everyone still loved Cohen.
***
Once upon a time I knew who I was. But now I wasn’t so sure. Before the raping incident I was happy, healthy—but now I was just a shadow. 3 weeks had passed since Blake had left me, and I couldn’t stop thinking of him. Love is everything in life; simple in theory, complex in practice. And there was no one who knew it more than me. I had tried to contact him on numerous occasions, and all I had received was one email off of him.
Willow,
I’m sorry but I can’t see you anymore. I trusted you and I loved you, but you broke my heart. I still do love you, but I don’t want to see you. I'm moving away soon anyway, I told dad he should take that promotion on London so he has. It’s for the best. Blake.
I had stopped eating, there was no point anymore. I was forever under surveillance in my room. Unable to come out unless I wouldn’t the bathroom or something to eat. But I didn’t need to eat. Scarlett had left our family. She and Cohen had run away to Ireland. She chose to believe him over me.
It felt like taking me to the highest mountain, showing me the world, and saying this is what you can’t have; but sometimes you’ve got to get hurt in order to grow, sometimes our visions seem clearer after our eyes are washed with tears. I’d much rather die than live a hundred years without Blake and I would love it if goodbyes only lasted till tomorrow. But the world didn’t work that way. Everybody is going to hurt you one way or another; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. He was every reason, every hope, and every dream, and for it to be cruelly snatched from me killed me on the inside, and also on the outside. Hell began the day he left, but I would suffer hell for him. I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up; or perhaps wake up and this was all just a terrible nightmare. There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.