Note to Self: Just Breathe

I had been here roughly a week. I was now eating a slice of toast and a bit of soup each day. I was often on the computer at the hospital because I didn’t kick up a huge fuss anymore although I did refuse to eat a lot of food.

There was visiting hours every day, half an hour long. Most of the time my father visited me, but Aidan had done twice. I was awaiting my next visitor, sat in my uncomfortable bed and bored out of my mind.

While I was waiting I couldn’t help but think if there was a God. Because if there was a God then he wasn’t doing a very good job at being a “saviour”. If there was a God then he must dislike me a lot. I mean my life was pretty bad at the moment, but there were people whose lives were a lot worse, and I couldn’t help but think if it was because we deserved it. But then it couldn’t be. What did I do wrong? Was it because of the whole sex before marriage situation, or because I was unfaithful to Blake by saying yes to Cohen? But then how did the poor, malnourished babies in Africa have such a difficult and painful life? In the end I just figured that it was luck of the draw. Perhaps it was because before the whole rape incident I had been so happy. Perhaps we couldn’t be happy all our lives.

“What are you thinking about?” a voice asked. It made my jump and my head snapped up to see Diana stood in the doorway.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Okay Willow. I have your visitor here. May I present the handsome Aidan Harrison,” she said in a posh voice.

Diana and I got on loads. She was kind of my surrogate mother whilst I was here. I would miss her when I go.

“Aidan!” I exclaimed.

“The one and only,” he joked.

He came up to me and hugged my small frame.

“How are you?” he asked. His voice laced with concern.

“I’m fine,” I told him.

He sat down in a chair next to my bed and we sat in a comfortable silence for about 5 minutes.

“Everyone hates yours guts,” he told me bluntly.

“Can’t say I blame them,” I told him. Aidan knew the whole story of what went on that night, and he looked at me disbelieving.

“Don’t say that Li-Li. They just don’t know the whole story,” he explained.

“And they never well,” I told him, staring at him firmly. “Seriously, Aidan. They must never know.”

“Fine,” he answered, exasperated. “You better be eating Willow,” he said to me menacingly.

“I am!” I told him, fed up of his protective ways.

“Just checking woman,” he retorted.

“Woman?!” I asked incredulously.

“Yup. I’m going all gangster today,” he told me, easing the tension.

I burst out laughing; the first time I had laughed in such a long time. Aidan joined in and after a while we both calmed down. I glanced at Aidan to see her staring at me, a look of love on his face.

“I missed that,” he said to me softly.

I gave him a small smile and Aidan got up to sit beside me on the bed. He smoothed his finger over my lips, lifting the sides up so I would be smiling. I let him and he smiled at me, before pulling me into a hug, crushing me to him.

“I love you,” I told him in his ear.

“Ditto,” he answered.