Wanna Tell You How I Feel Inside

I could hear what sounded like the distant rumble of my social worker’s voice. I wonder when he’ll realize that I am paying no attention to him. Besides his muffled voice, I wasn’t listening to him at all. Instead I was listening to my mix CD on my beaten up CD player, the volume as loud as it would go. I’m pretty sure he could hear the guitars, if not someone needs to get their hearing checked. I can’t believe they made him go on the plane with me and drive me to Huntington. That’s what taxis were for. I watched as the scenery passed by at a very fast pace. I’m not sure where we were. All I knew was we were on the highway. In all honesty I couldn’t give a fuck. I’m not where I belong, home.

”What do you mean California?” I barked at Ms. Hemmy. She let out a sigh and rubbed her left temple. I continued to glare at her with as much hatred I could muster.

“The foster homes around here would not be willing to take you in. The next closest family is in Huntington Beach, California. You’ll love it there Sage. They’re right on the beach,” she tried to coax.

“I don’t give a fuck! I do not appreciate moving to a beach when I was born and raised in forest. I couldn’t careless about ‘soaking up the sun’ or whatever you wanna say. I’m staying in Hawthorne with my friends. I am not going!” I yelled. Ms. Hemmy’s nice act dropped and a glare met my own.

“You are going whether you want to or not. Honestly, go ahead. Make this couple hate you all you want. It’ll just be onto the next group. Either way you will not be staying here and I will make sure of that. Good day Sage.” My mouth had fallen open at her blunt honesty. I huffed knowing nothing was going to change her mind. I stormed out of her office, making sure to slam the door behind me.

She wants to play it that way? Fine, game on.

“Sage?“ I felt someone shaking me awake. I slapped the hand away, pulling my headphones off my head. I turned to see Mr. Jefferson shaking his head at me. I rolled my eyes, putting my CD player into my backpack that sat at my feet.

“What do you want?” I snapped, crossing my arms and sending a glare his way.

“We’re here.” I looked to my right to see a moderate sized, two story house next to me. It was made of tan colored bricks with a black roof. I nodded in approval before kicking open my door. I could have simply pushed it open once I pulled the handle, but what fun would that be? I have to leave a lasting impression on my social worker until I see him in about three weeks. That’s the most I gave myself.

“Mr. and Mrs. Baker are expecting us,” Mr. Jefferson announced. I guess he was trying to get me to hurry so he could leave. Not so fast sir.

“Gosh. Give me two fucking minutes,” I huffed, looking at my reflection in the side view mirror. I made sure my makeup didn’t mess up in my sleep. The eyeliner was medially put on around my gray eyes. The back side of my hair was covered by a plain black beanie. I nodded in approval before straightening up my black tank with purple tribal all over. “Ready douchebag.”

“This way then,” Mr. Jefferson said with no patience. I could see my two suitcases already in his hands as he almost jogged up the walkway. I smirked and walked as slow as possible without completely stopping. He was already impatiently tapping his foot by the time I reached the stoop he was standing on. He rasped on the door and waited. Two seconds seemed too long for him to stand by me because he quickly knocked again.

“Cool it dick. You’re not escaping anytime soon. Might as well get use to it,” I muttered as I rolled my eyes. He glanced a look at me before the door suddenly opened. We both turned to see a woman around the age of thirty smiling at us. She looked me over, her smile only growing.

“Hello Mrs. Baker. I am Mr. Adam Jefferson,” my social worker introduced, sticking out a hand. I looked to see that my suitcases now sat on the ground next to him. I huffed, jerking up one. He didn’t have to be a pansy bitch and put my stuff on the dirty porch.

“You must be Sage?” I looked up at the soft, kind voice. That’s something I don’t hear a lot. Mrs. Baker still stood with that smile on her face. Her green eyes sparkled with happiness. Her brown hair was held in a messy ponytail that looked like it had just been done. God, I think I’m in love with her eyes if anything.

“Yeah. What‘s up?” That was my greeting. Great, huh? Took me all night to think of.

“Well it’s very nice to have you here Sage. Please, follow me to the living room. My husband is waiting for us,” Mrs. Baker announced. Mr. Jefferson walked forward, leaving my other suitcase in it’s spot. I glared at his back but picked it up anyways. I nodded my thanks to the woman in front of me that held the door open. She motioned for me to just place it next to the stairs. After seeing nothing that could dirty up my cases, I followed her instructions. I followed her into a normal living room. It held two couches, a coffee table, a TV on top of a cabinet, and a Nintendo next to it. The walls were littered with pictures and artwork.

“Ah! The infamous Sage.” I looked onto one couch where a man a little older than Mrs. Baker sat. He had dark black hair and brown eyes. He stood and held out a hand which I slowly shook. He motioned for me to sit. I watched as Mrs. Baker took a seat on the couch with her husband. That only left one option. I grinned and plopped down on the couch across from them, sitting a little closer to Mr. Jefferson than needed. He uncomfortably inched over which made me cross my feet on the couch. Obviously this didn’t bother the couple because they just smiled.

“I’m sorry about her. Manners Sage,” Mr. Jefferson scowled.

“That’s quite alright. One of our son’s friend’s always does that too,” Mr. Baker interrupted. I smirked at Mr. Jefferson who blushed and excused himself.

“So where is your son?” I asked, shocking Mr. Jefferson. When he spoke of the son on the plane I didn’t even fake interest. But then again, I just didn’t want to talk to Jefferson at all. I wanted him to leave as soon as he got me to the airport, but I’m not that lucky.

“He’s at school at the moment. He’s a senior this year,” Mrs. Baker informed.

“Senior?” I echoed. Holy crap. Opposite much? Fucking freshman here.

“Yes. He’s seventeen right now,” Mr. Baker replied. My eyes grew wide, but I quickly covered myself. So if he’s a complete jackass I would not be surprised. He’s a big seventeen year old senior and I’m a fifteen year old freshman. Just shoot me in-between the eyes while I have a chance.

“So how about you tell us about yourself?” This made me look up. Another thing I haven’t heard in, I think, ever. That’s when I mentally slapped myself. They’re going to be of fostering me, of course they’re going to ask me questions like that.

“What would you wanna know?” I asked in a blank tone. I began to pull at a loose thread on my dark blue jeans that had two rips in my knees. Bad habit I picked up when I was little. I remember it would drive my mother insane. She’d jokingly say she’d have to tape my hands behind my back to get me to stop.

“How old are you, music style, favorite colors, hobbies. You know, just the normal stuff,” Mrs. Baker replied. Does she ever stop smiling or is that just permanent?

“I’m fifteen years young. I enjoy rock music of all kinds. Favorite colors are black, green, and orange. I draw, listen to music, write, and take pictures. School is boring and I’m always in the office. Fights are common,” I summed up. Maybe if they hear the few things they don’t like they might not even want to foster me.

“We are quite use to that. Our son is all muscles and likes to take things a bit too far. Luckily he still knows his place at home,” Mr. Baker replied with a grin. I groaned loudly in my head. I’m starting to really hate this fucking kid. He’s going to be the downfall of my plans!

“Well how about we work on the papers and I’ll be out of your hair,” Mr. Jefferson offered. He placed his briefcase on the coffee table, already unlatching it. Wow, only five minutes and he already wants to sign me off and flee. I bet they could show the symptoms of a serial killer and he’d still try to hurry and get rid of me.

“Oh, of course! But won’t you please stay for lunch? Our son’s school is letting out early today. We could all go out to thank you for bringing Sage safely,” Mrs. Baker offered. I could see his eyes fill with fear at the thought of meeting the kid who seemed just like me. Now that I think about it he looks like a monkey because of his suit and it seems like he’s about to get tossed in the lion cage. This caused me to smirk.

“Oh yes! Please stay Mr. Jefferson,” I cooed. He glared at me with distaste. I simply smiled in return. I knew this prick wouldn’t and couldn’t leave these people disappointed.

“Sure. I would love to join you.” Pushover.

“How about you take a look around and find your room. This would simply bore you,” Mr. Baker joked.

“Aight.” I stood to my feet and walked out into the entrance hall. It was a bit cluttered, but that was normal for an average family. I picked up my suitcases before ascending the stairs. Two doors stood on either side of me in the hallway. I walked to the first one on the left. A bathroom with a bathtub, toilet, and sink greeted me. The next one I assumed was Mr. and Mrs. Baker’s room by the king sized bed and neatness.

Across from the bathroom was a normal teenaged boy’s room. Messy, can’t see the floors, posters covering the walls. I got bored of staring at the disaster and shut the door like how it was. I walked next door to the very last room left. I opened the door and grinned. A full sized bed was shoved under a window in the middle of the room. It was covered in light green covers and big, white pillows. My own bed! I put my suitcases next to a light brown desk before laying on my bed. It was like I was on a cloud.

Looking around I took in more of my room. The walls were a light green like the bed with dark wooden floors. The desk was to the right side of the room while a closet stood opposite of it. In front of me was a plain, four drawer wardrobe. It matched the color of the desk perfectly. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Is that vanilla I smell?

“Do you like it?” I snapped up in my bed. Before me stood Mrs. Baker, what else but smiling. I went blank and shrugged.

“It’s alright.” I saw her face droop a little before she brightened to cover it up. I felt a little bad but didn’t let it show. I had to stick to my plan no matter how bad I felt. It was nothing personal.

“Well your posters and such should be here by tomorrow. And then later this week we can take you to get a few more clothes.”

“Okay,” I said with a bored tone. I could see her shift her weight to her other foot nervously. Oh how I love to watch people squirm. Okay, so I can be a bitch. I usually don’t do it to people who are nice but like I said, nothing personal. Just in the middle of plans.

“Well I’ll leave you alone to unpack.” When I didn’t reply she just left the room, shutting the door after herself. I stretched and popped my back. I didn’t really want to get up, but I guess I should put stuff away. I stood onto my feet, rubbing my eyes. Let’s get to it then.