Status: Done.
Salt in the Wound
Nearing vendetta.
I cringed as Gaara’s eyes narrowed in my direction, their cold exterior nearly shaking me. “Ishiko, come with me.” He said as he turned away to face Kankuro. “Why is she out here?”
Kankuro’s eyes widened, “I didn’t think a walk would hurt anything, honestly. She’s been cooped up for days without any company,” his eyes cut to the ground. “No one got hurt.”
“That’s beside the point, I gave an order.” Gaara said curtly, he turned back towards me, making a silent promise to deal with Kankuro later. He inclined his head to signal at me, and I began walking with him back to his office. “I thought you were more responsible than that Ishiko.” He told me sternly.
My face reddened at the thought of being talked to the way he was. Like some kind of out of control child being scolded. “That boy was mocking me.” I said just as coldly back. Our walk as silent as it could be, until we reached his office. He leaned against his desk, arms crossed with a stern look on his face.
All I could do was stare at the floor with my hands behind my back. “Listen,” I said suddenly, breaking the silence, “I realize I shouldn’t have assaulted him but you have to understand, these past few days have been hard and I lost it. I’m sorry.” He didn’t say anything. My eyes narrowed. “Are you going to say anything back to me?”
He closed his eyes and when he reopened them he was looking out of the large glass panes that adorned his walls. “Are you making any progress?” He said finally. I was caught back in surprise.
“Of course I have.”
“With your…problem I meant.”
“Well, no, not by much. Nobody knows how to train me in that field. All I can do is calm my temper when the time calls.” My voice got quiet, slightly ashamed at my lack of confidence. But what could I do? It’s not like my problem was a science of my own, nobody knew a thing on how to even approach it.
“Was it a mistake keeping you here?” His voice wasn’t cold but the question itself made me stiff. Something was behind this, my little outbreak shouldn’t have caused a commotion that big.
“I guess that’s entirely up to you to decide.” He turned towards me, that same look of frustration drawing on his face. He took a step towards me, letting his arms fall to his sides.
“And I can’t. That is what seems to be the problem. You have great potential Ishiko, but for some reason you hold back. Doesn’t that defeat the whole point of you being here?”
“I guess I wasn’t fully aware of my reason for being here. If I’m here only to be of use to your village then yeah, it makes no sense why I’m still here since I’m obviously not turning out the way you had expected. But I was under the impression you were simply being gracious towards me and my situation. I had nowhere else to go you see, what was left for me?” A pain rang throughout my chest and I blushed without warning. It was humiliating to be in front of him and admit I thought he was just being nice. Like that was even a fathomable idea anymore. I turned my eyes up towards his thoughtful face, waiting for him to speak.
“You’re right, and yet you are wrong. You asked for my help and I obliged. It seemed only necessary to let you stay here since, as you stated, had absolutely nothing. But as far as I can tell, you seem to have given up all will to make effort.” I stepped forward, my defenses rising.
“No one knows what to do!” I yelled, my fists clenching. His look hardly changed at my outburst. “Maybe if someone who knew what I was going through was there to help then maybe I would make some sort of progress!”
“I’m sure you could figure it out by yourself.” He said flatly, his eyes void of emotion.
“What made you so cold?” I asked suddenly, done with his constant biting remarks. “What made you so miserable that you can’t relate to a single human being?”
His eyes narrowed at me and he became tense. “Ishiko, I am not here to be your friend. I’m here to be your leader.”
“Just because you are a leader doesn’t mean you have to act like everyone is out to get you! I have tried to get closer to you but every attempt just gets shut down because you are so damn stubborn. What do you expect out of people?” He took a step closer, judging by his clenched hands he wasn’t happy about any of this. I could say the same about myself.
“I expect some respect. Something in which you have obviously not learned yet.” He snarled lowly. “Talking to people the way you do is going to get you killed. Again.” He added with a vicious glint in his eye. We were getting closer by the second, each of our tempers rising.
“I find it hard to respect someone who doesn’t even know the basics of human emotion.” My eyes cut towards the kanji on his forehead and I laughed inwardly, what a sick joke that was. “Love only yourself right Gaara? Isn’t that the motto you live by?”
His head tilted and I could tell by the way he was standing, he was most uncomfortable being with me right now. “You don’t know anything about me.” Was all he could say.
“You’re right, I don’t. But I know the person you are by the actions you take, and it seems to me you are nothing but an angry, twisted little boy.” Sand floated through the air dangerously ready to ensnare me any second he chose it right to. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t hear the anxious growling within my body, my own defense mechanism so to speak.
“Who are you to talk to me like that,” venom laced between every syllable as he spoke, “just because I don’t dictate my life based on useless emotions doesn’t mean I don’t know what it feels like.” I grinned at him, seeing him worked up like that meant I was getting somewhere.
“You know nothing but hate. Have you ever felt wanted Gaara? Your village needs you, but it’s not the same thing as being wanted. You will die alone if you keep pushing away the people who want to care for you! Open your heart the smallest bit and maybe you will see it’s useless to act like a coward towards it.” The sand slithered up my leg but was quickly pushed away by the glowing chakra that surrounded my body. “That’s all you are really, a coward. Afraid of the people around you, afraid of getting hurt. And if you didn’t want someone to help you, you wouldn’t wear it so plainly on your sleeve.”
“Get out!” He yelled and I was slightly taken aback, considering I hadn’t heard him speak any louder than a mumble since I got here. I took a step back and smiled at him through narrowed eyes.
“You’ll get exactly what you want.” I said lowly and in a flash, I was out his window.
I jumped onto my own balcony and stormed in, throwing in the small amount of belongings I had into my shoulder satchel, I threw it over my shoulder and was prepared to run out until a tattered book caught my eye. I snatched his book on demons and jumped back out my window, running towards the gate of Suna.
Kankuro’s eyes widened, “I didn’t think a walk would hurt anything, honestly. She’s been cooped up for days without any company,” his eyes cut to the ground. “No one got hurt.”
“That’s beside the point, I gave an order.” Gaara said curtly, he turned back towards me, making a silent promise to deal with Kankuro later. He inclined his head to signal at me, and I began walking with him back to his office. “I thought you were more responsible than that Ishiko.” He told me sternly.
My face reddened at the thought of being talked to the way he was. Like some kind of out of control child being scolded. “That boy was mocking me.” I said just as coldly back. Our walk as silent as it could be, until we reached his office. He leaned against his desk, arms crossed with a stern look on his face.
All I could do was stare at the floor with my hands behind my back. “Listen,” I said suddenly, breaking the silence, “I realize I shouldn’t have assaulted him but you have to understand, these past few days have been hard and I lost it. I’m sorry.” He didn’t say anything. My eyes narrowed. “Are you going to say anything back to me?”
He closed his eyes and when he reopened them he was looking out of the large glass panes that adorned his walls. “Are you making any progress?” He said finally. I was caught back in surprise.
“Of course I have.”
“With your…problem I meant.”
“Well, no, not by much. Nobody knows how to train me in that field. All I can do is calm my temper when the time calls.” My voice got quiet, slightly ashamed at my lack of confidence. But what could I do? It’s not like my problem was a science of my own, nobody knew a thing on how to even approach it.
“Was it a mistake keeping you here?” His voice wasn’t cold but the question itself made me stiff. Something was behind this, my little outbreak shouldn’t have caused a commotion that big.
“I guess that’s entirely up to you to decide.” He turned towards me, that same look of frustration drawing on his face. He took a step towards me, letting his arms fall to his sides.
“And I can’t. That is what seems to be the problem. You have great potential Ishiko, but for some reason you hold back. Doesn’t that defeat the whole point of you being here?”
“I guess I wasn’t fully aware of my reason for being here. If I’m here only to be of use to your village then yeah, it makes no sense why I’m still here since I’m obviously not turning out the way you had expected. But I was under the impression you were simply being gracious towards me and my situation. I had nowhere else to go you see, what was left for me?” A pain rang throughout my chest and I blushed without warning. It was humiliating to be in front of him and admit I thought he was just being nice. Like that was even a fathomable idea anymore. I turned my eyes up towards his thoughtful face, waiting for him to speak.
“You’re right, and yet you are wrong. You asked for my help and I obliged. It seemed only necessary to let you stay here since, as you stated, had absolutely nothing. But as far as I can tell, you seem to have given up all will to make effort.” I stepped forward, my defenses rising.
“No one knows what to do!” I yelled, my fists clenching. His look hardly changed at my outburst. “Maybe if someone who knew what I was going through was there to help then maybe I would make some sort of progress!”
“I’m sure you could figure it out by yourself.” He said flatly, his eyes void of emotion.
“What made you so cold?” I asked suddenly, done with his constant biting remarks. “What made you so miserable that you can’t relate to a single human being?”
His eyes narrowed at me and he became tense. “Ishiko, I am not here to be your friend. I’m here to be your leader.”
“Just because you are a leader doesn’t mean you have to act like everyone is out to get you! I have tried to get closer to you but every attempt just gets shut down because you are so damn stubborn. What do you expect out of people?” He took a step closer, judging by his clenched hands he wasn’t happy about any of this. I could say the same about myself.
“I expect some respect. Something in which you have obviously not learned yet.” He snarled lowly. “Talking to people the way you do is going to get you killed. Again.” He added with a vicious glint in his eye. We were getting closer by the second, each of our tempers rising.
“I find it hard to respect someone who doesn’t even know the basics of human emotion.” My eyes cut towards the kanji on his forehead and I laughed inwardly, what a sick joke that was. “Love only yourself right Gaara? Isn’t that the motto you live by?”
His head tilted and I could tell by the way he was standing, he was most uncomfortable being with me right now. “You don’t know anything about me.” Was all he could say.
“You’re right, I don’t. But I know the person you are by the actions you take, and it seems to me you are nothing but an angry, twisted little boy.” Sand floated through the air dangerously ready to ensnare me any second he chose it right to. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t hear the anxious growling within my body, my own defense mechanism so to speak.
“Who are you to talk to me like that,” venom laced between every syllable as he spoke, “just because I don’t dictate my life based on useless emotions doesn’t mean I don’t know what it feels like.” I grinned at him, seeing him worked up like that meant I was getting somewhere.
“You know nothing but hate. Have you ever felt wanted Gaara? Your village needs you, but it’s not the same thing as being wanted. You will die alone if you keep pushing away the people who want to care for you! Open your heart the smallest bit and maybe you will see it’s useless to act like a coward towards it.” The sand slithered up my leg but was quickly pushed away by the glowing chakra that surrounded my body. “That’s all you are really, a coward. Afraid of the people around you, afraid of getting hurt. And if you didn’t want someone to help you, you wouldn’t wear it so plainly on your sleeve.”
“Get out!” He yelled and I was slightly taken aback, considering I hadn’t heard him speak any louder than a mumble since I got here. I took a step back and smiled at him through narrowed eyes.
“You’ll get exactly what you want.” I said lowly and in a flash, I was out his window.
I jumped onto my own balcony and stormed in, throwing in the small amount of belongings I had into my shoulder satchel, I threw it over my shoulder and was prepared to run out until a tattered book caught my eye. I snatched his book on demons and jumped back out my window, running towards the gate of Suna.