A Dustland Fairytale

“I fell for you like a child, oh, but the fire went wild.” – Johnny Cash

Since Juliet had left me that morning in the courtyard, I spent my time in school talking to Kyle, Zack, and their group of friends. They were a loud, fun group of guys who spent most of their time discussing music and sports, and I really didn’t mind. I tried to forget that Juliet existed; tried to shake her from my memory, and part of my mind actually did let her go.

“You know, we should take you surfing some time,” Zack said during lunch one day.

I laughed, shaking my head. “I don’t think so. I’d probably be falling all over the place.”

Zack shrugged. “You’ll learn.” He took a huge bite from the sandwich he brought for lunch. “Tell you what – I’ll teach you to surf if you teach me to drive a motorcycle.”

I was about to tell Zack that I really didn’t want to let anyone else drive my precious bike when Kyle said, “Juliet Hanson has been staring at you since she walked in the room. What did you do to her?” I glanced over Kyle’s shoulder to see Poppy sit down right in front of Juliet, blocking her from my view. She was obviously trying to distract Juliet. I turned away, back to Kyle.

“It’s a long story,” I said. “And it really doesn’t matter. So, does anybody actually go to that party Charity throws on Halloween?”

Everyone laughed and started to talk about Charity’s annual bash – how much fun it was, that it was definitely worth it to go no matter what day of the week it happened to be, and what costumes people planned on wearing. I had successfully distracted them from my life and Juliet’s influence over me, losing my thoughts in their conversations. I hadn’t given much thought to this party or to what I’d wear.

Kyle, apparently, hadn’t thought much of it, either. “What should my costume be?” he asked. “Any brilliant ideas?”

“Darth Vader,” I said, causing the whole table to laugh.

He grinned. “Only if you go as Spock.” Our laughter grew, the sound of it carrying across the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Poppy wrench a notebook from Juliet’s grasp and turn, as if to throw it across the room.

“Actually,” I said, “I was thinking of going as Harry Potter.” The table broke into laughter again, but I could feel Juliet’s eyes on me. She was the one who had pushed me away, yet she was staring at me as though I’d been the one to leave her. I knew I was on her mind at least as often as she was on mine, but it was so much more obvious she couldn’t stop thinking about me. And I, feeling cruel, was determined to make her change her mind. I completely ignored Juliet, ensuring she would not be able to stop thinking about me. Eventually, she’d talk to me again.

At least, I hoped she would. I wouldn’t be the first to break down; she was going to have to initiate this, to come and talk to me. All I knew was I was too proud to admit defeat.

I stood up, grabbing garbage from the table and taking it to throw it away. “Thanks, man,” Zack said. I shrugged and walked across the cafeteria to the first garbage can I saw, a few yards from where Juliet and Poppy were sitting. Juliet’s eyes burned into me like an x-ray that saw straight to my soul – to my cruel, plotting soul. For a second my determination wavered. I almost stopped, almost turned to Juliet’s table and begged for her to talk to me again. I almost broke down, but I didn’t. I refused to let her know how much she had affected me – how much I’d changed, because of her, since I moved from New York.

I heard Juliet sigh and saw Poppy slam her hand on the table, distracting Juliet again from her dedicated staring. I dropped everything I was carrying in the trashcan and walked back across the cafeteria, this time taking a path that was nowhere near Juliet’s table. I almost felt bad for torturing her like this, and I didn’t want to feel her eyes follow me again.

I sat down at the table with Zack and Kyle, but I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were talking about. From across the room I noticed Juliet look as though she was about to stand up and come over to my table – to come talk to me, but she slouched in her seat again, her expression defeated and her eyes downcast. I shook my head and hoped she hadn’t given up on me completely. That would kill me – if I lost Juliet forever, because I was too proud to admit Juliet had affected me this much.

I wanted Juliet to realize she still wanted me, and that she shouldn’t care what anyone thought. I wanted her to realize all of this – but I don’t know if the thoughts even crossed her mind.