A Little Piece Of Insanity

Lexi’s P.O.V.

‘’How was I supposed to know the freezer would get stuck?’’ Jimmy laughed, licking the ice cream off his spoon.
‘’The real question here is, what could’ve possibly possessed you to do that? Did you think he would come out all happy and congratulate you on completing such an insane task?! Not even Johnny’s brain is that messed up,’’ I yelled, exasperated. I had a pulsing urge to lob my mint chocolate ice cream tub thing at his smirking face.
‘’You try putting someone in a freezer. It’s fucking funny.’’ You really can’t take these people anywhere without someone getting mauled by a cymbal or stuck in a freezer. And in one day, Johnny somehow managed to achieve both of these things.
With a lot of help from Jimmy, of course.
We were sitting outside of 7-11, eating away at our small cartons of ice cream, while the fire department was busy getting Johnny out of the freezer Jimmy had put him in. Not only would we have an angry midget to deal with, but a frozen angry midget. Damn, and I left my blowtorch at home. Right next to my bazooka.
…I like bazookas. XD
‘’I’m considering doing it,’’ Pansy commented offhandedly, ‘’and it’ll probably be you, Jimbo. Just a forewarning.’’ That comment resulted in him choking on his ice cream. I whacked him on his back.
‘’So now, whenever you’re tagging along, I have to avoid newborn babies that have umbilical cords and freezers that have the potential of getting stuck. You’re really limiting my freedoms,’’ he chuckled, trying to balance his spoon on his nose.
‘’Brian, I think it would be smart to tame your woman,’’ I laughed, ‘’she can be quite the handful.’’
Pansy was about to open her mouth in protest when Matt’s car pulled up.
‘’Oh hey guy-is that a fire truck?’’ Zacky asked, Casey, Val and Matt beside him. I rolled my eyes.
‘’No Zach, it’s a giant red worm on wheels. Yes it’s a fucking fire truck!’’ Brian exclaimed, wrapping an arm around Pansy’s shoulders. Zacky glared and mocked him while Val and Casey laughed. Matt raised an eyebrow.
‘’Well why the fuck is it here?’’ he asked, sitting next to Jimmy, ‘’and where the hell is Johnny?’’
I took the liberty of answering him. ‘’Why don’t you ask Jimmy? I’m sure he’d be more than happy to explain.’’ Jimmy glared at the side of my head.
‘’So I sort of…might’ve…possibly…put Johnny in a freezer…and it might’ve…possibly…gotten stuck…heh,’’ he said nervously, averting his attention to his ice cream tub.
Everyone was quiet for a minute. That is, until Casey and Val started laughing hysterically. Everyone else was trying to hold in their laughter but we all failed miserably.
That all ended when a ghostly white Johnny appeared out of 7-11 with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His face was murderous.
‘’I-I-I’m going t-to k-k-kill you, J-Jimmy,’’ his teeth chattered. Jimmy was quick to drop his ice cream and he ran, Johnny not far behind him, screaming obscenities. We all just laughed more.
About five firemen appeared, two holding crowbars. They spotted Johnny chasing Jimmy and turned to us, a bit concerned.
‘’Don’t worry, we’ll make sure they don’t hurt each other too badly,’’ I laughed. They nodded and made a very hasty exit to their fire truck, driving away.
We all hung out for awhile, Jimmy and Johnny eventually returning. I knew Kari wouldn’t be too happy with the bruise Jimmy was sporting on his cheek bone. Ah, Kari, thought I forgot about her, huh? See, that would be quite hard to do. The bitch seems to make a lasting impression on people. And not a good one either.
God, I don’t like her at all.
By the time we all headed home, it was about 11 pm. Pansy decided to have Brian ‘’over,’’ making sure I would be okay with it first. Far be it from me to deny my best friend a night of sex, so I let her, asking her to at least attempt to be quiet. She couldn’t make any promises.
I put on a pair of pajama shorts and a big Slayer t-shirt, grabbing my pillow and a blanket and heading downstairs. There was no way in hell I was going to sleep upstairs tonight. I really wasn’t in the mood to be mentally scarred. I put my stuff on the couch, getting comfortable and watching mindless tv for a good hour, trying to drown out any possible noises that could be hailing from upstairs. I shut the tv off eventually and fell into a deep sleep.
That all died a horrible death when I heard someone ring our doorbell. I groaned and looked at the clock; 1:17 am. The house was quiet, so Pansy and Brian must’ve passed out. But really, who in their right mind would come here this fucking early? I got maybe a good hours sleep. This had better be pretty fucking important. I slowly made my way to the door, hoping to whatever God that might be listening that it wasn’t some serial killer outside.
I looked into the peephole and saw Jimmy, dressed in black pajama bottoms with Pikachus on them and a black t-shirt. I groaned a bit and opened the door.
‘’What are you doing here?’’ I yawned, rubbing my eyes. Jimmy shifted around uncomfortably.
‘’Kari kicked me out for the night, she thinks I’m fooling around with-well she thinks I’m cheating on her with someone, which is complete and utter bull shit. And since you only live down the street from me, I thought…could I stay here for the night?’’ he asked, fixing his glasses on his nose, which I had just realized he was wearing. I won’t lie, he did look pretty cute in them. I nodded, letting him in and closing the front door. I climbed back onto the couch, trying to get comfortable again. Jimmy looked at me for a second.
‘’Why the hell are you sleeping down here?’’ he laughed. I pointed to the staircase.
‘’Pansy and Brian. And I don’t feel like climbing stairs.’’ That was all I had to say for him to understand. He nodded.
‘’Here,’’ I said, patting the spot next to me, ‘’I don’t think you wanna go up there, you never know what you might find,’’ I cringed.
Jimmy laughed lightly and plopped down next to me, hogging the covers and pressing his face into the back of the couch. I raised an eyebrow.
‘’There’s another person on this couch besides you, cabbage nuts.’’ That got him to turn around and give me a look that questioned my sanity. As if it weren’t already questioned enough.
‘’Did you just call me…?’’ he tried to say, his sentence ending in muffled laughter from the pillow smothering his face. I bit my lip hard in an attempt to keep quiet. It’s safe to say that failed.
‘’Alright, you can go to sleep now,’’ he breathed, wrapping the covers around us. I moved closer to him for warmth. The house was freezing, okay?
‘’Night, Lexi,’’ he yawned kissing the top of my head. I smiled and blushed a little bit.
Wait, did I just say I blushed? What the fuck, I don’t blush! I think I’m just over tired. Yep, that’s definitely it.
‘’Gnight, Jimbo,’’ I said tiredly, not even realizing he had his arm around me and I was cuddled into him. Fuck me and my stupid over tired brain.

Pansy’s POV

I woke up-‘WELL NO SHIT!’ SHUT THE FUCK UP FRANK! Gosh I just woke up and you’re already bothering the shit out of me. ‘Gosh no need to be so mean.’ I CAN BE MEAN IF I WANT! ‘Fine then!’ I slowly got off the bed, trying not to wake Brian. Walking out of the room and downstairs, I didn’t mind the fact that I was only in my bra and panties. The first thing I heard when I walked into the kitchen was a loud shriek, coming from the unmistakably tall guy sitting at the island.
“MY EYES!!!” Jimmy screamed, almost falling off the stool. WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?! I immediately grabbed a table mat, attempting to cover my body. Yeah it really wasn’t working.
“Ahh what the hell is this, a nudist house?!” Jimmy asked, covering his eyes.
“No dumb ass, if it was I would be completely naked,” I said as if stating the obvious.
“AHHH STOP GIVING ME MORE PICTURES!”
‘’I’m going to rape you in a closet, Jimmy. And then, I‘m going to rub your nut sack to make you feel better,” I said in a creepy voice to see if he would get more freaked out. Yeah I think it worked because he screamed even louder than last time and hid behind Lexi. What is he, 10? She just sat there and watched us, completely amused and probably thinking of more ways to slowly kill the rest of Jimmy‘s sanity. She looked at me with a devious smirk. Oh yeah, we were definitely on the same page.
“What the hell is with the dying cat?” Brian asked from behind me, which made me jump.
“OH MY GOD MORE NAKEDNESS!” Jimmy screamed, trying to get Lexi to hide him again, since she had moved. He stopped trying when she kicked him in the shin.
“What are you doing here, man?” Brian asked, sitting on one of the stools. “Oh, I was going to ask that,” I said, hopping onto Brian’s lap. It can still pass for a tempurpedic pillow.
“So tell us Jimbo, whatcha doin’ here?” I asked, eyeing Lexi. She just looked at me with wide eyes and shook her head, telling me nothing happened. Jimmy was busy rubbing his numb shin.
“I’m not telling you until you put some descent clothes on,” he said, looking everywhere but at me and Brian.
“Ugh fine” I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Come on Bri-Bear!” I sang, getting off of Brian and walking out of the kitchen. I heard gagging noises, so I grabbed the remote and threw it into the kitchen. The next thing I heard was the remote hitting something, followed by Jimmy’s pained scream. SCORE! “UPSTAIRS WE GO!” I yelled, jumping on Brian’s back when I saw Jimmy charging after us. He ran up the stairs (which I have no idea how that could have been accomplished, due to my fatso) and locked us in my room, before Jimmy could hang us both from the railing or something.

A good 10 minutes of Jimmy banging on the door and us getting dressed passed. Brian sat on the bed, eating away at a random bag of chips he randomly found, while I just laid there…saying nothing…nada…zilch…zero.
“Okay, why aren’t you saying anything? What are you thinking about?” He asked, dropping the bag on his lap and turning his attention to me.
“Nothing,” I said in a bored tone. LIES! “You can’t be thinking about nothing, now tell me,” he said quietly, nudging me.
“Okay…so I was thinking about…us?” I asked, more than said, dropping a hint.
“What about us?” He asked. Yeah I’m about to grab that bag and beat him with it. “You know…what we’ve been doing…what does this make us?” Whoa, that’s like a soap opera cliffhanger moment, like (Chick: *says dramatically* Oh, what does this make us? Man: O________O. *Commercials* Viewers: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!) Tehehehe.
“Hellooo? Is anyone home?” Brian asked, waving his hand in front of my face, interrupting my weird thought.
“Sorry,” I said, a bit embarrassed. “So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked.
“I already told you…us…and our little situation,” I said getting frustrated (I get frustrated easily). “What situation?” He looked at me with a blank look.
“UGH! YOU ARE SO CLUELESS!” I yelled, probably about to start a fight. Oh fucking well.
“WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT IF YOU JUST WON’T SAY IT!” he shouted back.
“I’M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT US AND WHAT WE ARE TO EACHOTHER, LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I, YOUR FUCK BUDDY?! I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE AT LEAST HALF A BRAIN BUT I GUESS I WAS FUCKING WRONG!” I let out a frustrated scream and stormed out of then room.
“Ana, wait!” was the last thing I heard from him, right before I locked myself in the bathroom across my room.

I got maybe five minutes of solitary time when I heard someone knocking.
“Come on Pansy, you have to get out of there sometime,” Lexi said from the other side of the door. “NO!” I shouted from the corner of the bathroom.
“Brian, what did you do?” I heard Lexi ask him. Her tone of voice clearly said she wasn’t fucking around.
“OW!” he screamed. I’m guessing she hit him? I hope that hurt. “I didn’t do anything!” he yelled. “LIAR!” I yelled back at him.
Someone started banging on the door again. “Come on Banana, get out or I’m gonna have to get you myself,” Jimmy said, evidently serious.
“NO! GO AWAY!” I shouted. The next thing I knew, the door was slammed against the wall and I was being carried downstairs like a sack of potatoes. Oh boy, this man loves to pick up women…literally. “JIMMY PUT ME DOWN!” I yelled as I kicked at his chest. “Not a chance, fruit cup,” he said, starting to run around the room.
“I am not a fruit cup! Jimmy, if you don’t put me down I swear I will do something to you in your sleep! And I promise you it will be painful and most likely illegal!” I yelled, still kicking.
“Not until you tell us what’s going on,” He said, stopping.
“Why don’t you ask Mister Hulk over there?” I glared at Brian.
“I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” he yelled from across the room. Jimmy sat me on the couch and I pouted. “Okay, now I’m gonna take Alexi with me, and you and Brian will talk shit out and then have makeup sex, okay?” Jimmy said, in all seriousness, which caused me to widen my eyes and jump at him. He grabbed Lexi’s hand and ran up the stairs.
I sighed and looked at Brian, motioning for him to sit next to me. At first he seemed a bit scared of what I might do to him, but he ended up cautiously making his way to the couch. Yeah he should be scared, I want to rip his head off…but I also want to kiss him and forget about this.
“I don’t understand why you’re so angry at me, I thought we were just fucking around…I thought you were the type of girl that didn’t want a relationship,” he said quietly, which automatically triggered something in me. I stood up and silently walked into the kitchen, grabbing a knife. I walked back into the living room and stabbed Brian 50 fucking times in his chest……okay so that didn’t really happen, but it should have!
I sighed and looked him in the eyes. “You’re right, I’m not usually like this. I just…I think I’m in love with you,” I said quietly. I immediately realized what I said, covering my mouth with wide eyes. WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?! *INSERT MULTIPLE CURSES HERE* STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! ANA MARIE JONES DOES NOT FALL IN LOVE!
“…What?” Brian asked with wide eyes. “Uh…I’m in love with you?” AGH WHAT THE HELL I SAID IT AGAIN! SOMEONE SHOOT ME! I covered my face with my hands but jumped when I heard a loud thud from next to me. I let my hands fall from my face to find…no one sitting next to me. I looked down and there was Brian on the floor…passed out. ‘ERSDFHWNERJW YOU KILLED HIM!’ ME?! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! ‘OH MY GOD YOU KILLED THE HULK!’ SHUT UP FRANK! I DIDN’T KILL HIM!...I THINK. I got down next to him and checked his pulse, making sure he wasn’t dead. HE’S NOT DEAD! ‘OH THANK GOD!’…I should call someone. ‘You do that.’
“JIMMY!” I yelled out. I then heard shuffling and tall figure falling down the stairs. Holy shit!
“I’M OKAY!” he announced, spread out on the floor. He got up and leaned on my shoulder. “I think I broke something…holy shit, did you kill him?!” he yelled, checking Brian’s pulse.
“No I didn’t…he fainted.” I said in a low voice. “WHAT?!...Brian Elwin Haner Jr., THE Synyster Gates, fainted? Oh, this is rich,” he said, giggling. “Can you take him home or something?” I asked. “Why can’t we just stay here?” he asked. “Because you’ve spent enough time in here. Go home you hobos,” I said as Lexi walked down the stairs. “HOLY SHIT SHE KILLED HIM! Damn, I knew we shouldn‘t have left them alone,” she said to herself. “I DIDN’T KILL HIM DAMMIT!” I yelled, pouting.
“He fainted,” Jimmy chimed in.
“Hah! Gates fainted?! That’s hard to believe…but then again…here he is…passed out…on our floor. Get him out of here, I don’t want him drooling on our carpet,” Lexi said, opening the door for Jimmy who was carrying his body to his car. I followed them onto the front yard, watching Jimmy struggle with Brian, when one of our nosy neighbors came outside with wide eyes.
“IS HE DEAD?!” she screamed, terrified. Jimmy jumped and dropped Brian on the grass, cursing.
“No ma’am, just a hangover,” he lied, continuing to drag him to their car. It’s amazing how fast someone’s morning can go to shit.