Fearing Death

“So Jonny refused to wear clothes the whole day until we could find his fire truck pajamas.” Bryan laughed, watching as his oldest son’s ears turned bright red. Jordyn giggled from her comfortable spot in Davey’s lap. His body wasn’t quite as hard as Jon’s and she sunk into him as they sat in a big leather recliner.

They had arrived in Winnipeg the day before and spent this morning and afternoon sledding, rolling snowmen, and skating in the flooded backyard. Jordyn’s skating abilities were – as predicted – a little subpar, but she liked to outskate her own tiny body, lunging herself forward as Jon skated backwards to watch her carefully. She had an easier time with a hockey stick in her hand, in case she were to lose her balance, and even managed to get a goal in past Jeremy, one of Jon’s childhood friends who showed up to goof around for the day.

Now, on Christmas Eve, they sat around the fireplace, drinking hot cider and passing around a tin of homemade almond bark Andree had made the day before. Jordyn, dressed in her new flannel pajama set, snuggled deep into Davey’s chest, wishing she got to see him more often as Andree handed her a new mug filled with hot cider. The only lights in the room illuminated from the crackling fireplace and the decorated tree in the corner of the room.

Jon and Jordyn had their own small tree in the apartment back in Chicago, with a few ornaments they had spent a whole day picking out. Including one that was a small stocking, reading Jordyn’s First Christmas that Abby had made. But their little tree sat on the end table in the formal living room. Here, the tree was over eight feet tall and decorated in what seemed like hundreds of ornaments, lights, tinsel, and popcorn that all three Toews children had strung up the day before.

“You were silly.” Jordyn giggled at her Dad who was rather embarrassed by all the childhood stories Bryan just loved to tell.

“I was six!” Jon defended with a laugh. He could see his daughter was getting tired, and couldn’t help but smile each time her little face would scrunch up before stretching into a big yawn, exposing her tiny pink tongue. She slumped further into Davey’s chest, his fingers slowly rubbing the bottoms of her sock-clad feed making her even sleepier. Before she knew it, Jordyn’s head was resting back against Davey’s shoulder, her mouth open in a small snore. They had their fair share of stress over the past few weeks, and he knew that Christmas had come just in time. He couldn’t stay with his family for as long as he wished, but they would be coming back after New Year’s for a few days, so he would have that to look forward to.

“I got ‘er.” Jon said, hauling his own big butt off of the couch, padding softly across the wood floors after setting his mug down and picking up Jordyn’s body, all seventy-seven pounds of her small frame. Jordyn’s body draped against his, her face settling against his neck, and he could feel the soft puff of her exhales against his skin.

“I’m… not even – tired.” Jordyn insisted as she struggled terribly to keep her eyes open. Jon marched up the stairs to the far spare bedroom that was just across the hall from his room in the Toews’ home.

“I know, but just humor me.” Jon chuckled softly, pulling the blankets back and depositing her into the warm bed, her own little electric fireplace crackling as well. Tucking Doug into her arms, he brushed her hair back from her face as her eyelids already sank closed. “Goodnight, baby girl.” He whispered, kissing her forehead gently. He turned and made his way to the door, flicking off the light.

“Dad?” She called softly, making Jon flick on the nightlight.

“Yeah babe?” He asked in a whisper-voice.

“Will you put out some cookies and milk for Santa? I know he’s not real, but… y’know, just in case.” She mumbled out shyly.

“Of course I will.” He smiled. “Now go to bed, presents in the morning.” He insisted.

“I love you.” She whispered, eyes closing again.

“I love you, too.” He said, closing the door softly behind him and heading back downstairs. He sighed, flopping into the couch, grabbing another small corner of almond bark.

“How’s everything at home, Jon?” Andree asked, tossing a small fleece-blanket over Davey’s tired figure.

“Things are good.” Jon nodded. “We’ll go to court in two weeks to finalize the restraining order against Jordyn’s birth mother.” He sighed. It had finally come to that over the past two weeks. Ms. Hale had shown up several times recently, and it was just too much for Jordyn and Jon alike. Jon immediately filed for a restraining order and his lawyer was pushing the process along as quickly as possible. “Jordyn’s lacrosse season is over, and she wants to work on the set for her school play, so I’m sure you’re all invited to the opening night of that. She comes home every day covered in streaks of paint and completely exhausted, but she loves it.” He grinned.

“I’m so happy for you, baby.” Andree smiled at her oldest son. “God has brought Jordyn into your life for a reason.” She added.

“I love her.” Jon replied simply. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He finished. And with all of the accomplishments he had already surpassed in his short life, that was saying a lot.

“We love her, chéri. She is our… petite étoile.” She finished.

“Your little star… Mon mot entier.”

•••

“Wake up!” Jon grinned as he sat on the side of Jordyn’s bed. It was early, yes, but she was probably one of the only children he had ever heard of that wasn’t trying to stay up all night in anticipation of presents. “Wake u-up.” He sang, grinning at the way she scrunched her face, dunking down into her pillows and blankets.

“No.” She huffed, “M’tired.” She insisted.

“Come on, Grandma made a big breakfast, and I bet there are twenty presents downstairs with your name on them.” He cooed, rubbing her back gently. She hesitated before peeking an eye open and curling into his touch.

“Twenty?” She asked quietly, making him grin and nod. “Can I go down in my PJ’s?” She asked.

“And slippers.” Jon nodded.

“Carry me.” She demanded, reaching her arms up pathetically. Jon rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around her middle nonetheless. Her head flopped against his shoulder and she only very slowly woke up he brought her downstairs to where a big, delicious breakfast was waiting.

“Good morning mes bébés précieux.” Andree kissed each of them as Jordyn slid into a seat next to her Uncle. Several types of breakfast quiche, cinnamon rolls, fresh croissants, crepes, and fruit covered the tabletop in pretty dishes and Jordyn was in heaven. She loaded up her plate, much like her Uncle and Dad and they dug in, eating until their pants were tight and they were wholly self-satisfied. They sat around for another few moments before Jordyn started to get anxious, peering at the fireplace to see that her stocking was stuffed full.

“You can go.” Bryan laughed, just before she launched herself off of her chair, running to the stocking to pull out all sorts of little knick-knacks like imported candy, a pair of earrings, a pair of knee-high rainbow striped toe-socks and a big bottle of bubble bath.

“Dad! Come look in yours!” Jordyn wiggled on the rug, clicking the top of her bubble bath open and inhaling the smell of fresh honeysuckle. “Uncle Davey!” She squealed, seeing as his was fat with little gifts as well. Jon laughed as he joined her on the rug, opening up his stocking to reveal a tie covered in little hockey pucks, a few of his favorite peanut-butter protein bars. Jon also got a tiny keychain that was a small digital picture frame, the small screen no bigger than the size of a postage stamp. It would make a good keepsake to clip on his keys for when he was at away games.

Davey handed out the presents, and it was clear to see which ones were from Jon and Jordyn, not wrapped nearly as neatly as Bryan and Andree’s, and somehow, even less put together than Davey’s.

The first gift from Jordyn and Jon to Andree was a framed picture of the two at one of her lacrosse games. Jordyn had decorated the frame herself with her school colors, maroon and white. The frame came along with two tickets to her first game in the spring at the Morgan Park stadium. Jon and Jordyn’s gift to Bryan was a cute wooden frame made to look like tiny logs, a picture of the three of them with the fish they had caught when they were in Winnipeg for the summer. Bryan also got a World’s Best Grandpa mug that Jordyn had painted at a do-it-yourself potter boutique.

Jordyn had never seen so many wrapped gifts in her life, other than when she would get to walk by the downtown displays during the holidays.

“This one is from me.” Davey grinned proudly, handing Jordyn a big box. Jordyn held it excitedly in her lap as she carefully removed the paper, instead of slashing at it wildly like most kids her age.

“A penguin shirt!” She grinned, holding up a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey.

“It’s a jersey, Jord.” Jon laughed. She turned it around to see her first name across the back. Jon and Davey both figured it would just be a little odd to make a Toews Penguins jersey.

“Thank you.” She smiled, kissing Davey’s cheek and hugging him tightly. Presents were opened, and Jordyn couldn’t believe the sweet haul she brought in. Cute jewelry, a lip-gloss set, a bracelet-making set, a home-made quilt from Andree, and her big present from Jon, an iPod.

Jon had a hard time picking presents out for Jordyn, but enlisted Pat for some help, who, in turn, called his youngest sister who was closest to Jordyn’s age, even if she did still have a few years on her. Jon frowned we he realized that there wasn’t a whole lot of nice things to get an eleven year old. He couldn’t buy her a car; he would be too worried about her well being if he got her a bike. They didn’t have space for a dog, and she wasn’t old enough for a cell phone. So he tried to find the nicest things he could that hopefully she would like as well.

“What does it say?” Jordyn asked, looking at the two tickets, trying to decipher the small, courier print.

“Two tickets to go see a Penguins game later this season.” Jon smiled proudly, having his agent pull a few strings to get the tickets so no one would find out that he was going to the game (had he purchased them online).

“Oh! Thank you!” Jordyn squealed, throwing her arms around Jon, knocking him back onto the ground as she squeezed him tightly.

Jon had no idea that Jordyn had gotten him a present, so he was rather surprised when she pulled out a box from behind the tree for him. He carried her luggage through the airport, how did she sneak this by?

Jon sat back and unwrapped the paper, grinning as he pulled out a maroon MPA wildcats sweatshirt that would match his hat quite nicely.

“Thanks baby girl.” He smiled at the new sweatshirt that would undoubtedly become his favorite new thing to lounge in. “I love it.” He said, throwing his arm around her shoulders and squeezing her tight.

“There’s more! In the pocket.” Jordyn insisted, “but it’s from me and Grandma.” Jordyn finished. Jon reached in and pulled out a slip of paper to reveal a certificate for fifteen cleanings courtesy of The Cleaning Authority. They would keep his apartment spotless.

“Whoa, this is great.” Jon insisted.

“I know that you don’t really like other people poking around in your stuff, but we did our research and this company comes very highly recommended and they assure to be very discreet and respectful. I know you don’t have as much time to pick up anymore between practice and games and school.” Andree winked down at Jordyn.

“No, really, this is perfect, thank you.” Jon smiled appreciatively; it really was just what he needed. Jordyn helped clean up all the wrapping paper and carefully put her new possessions away up in her room. Jon got suspicious when she failed to come back downstairs more then twenty minutes later. “I’ll go check on her.” Jon insisted, glancing at his watch to see that it wasn’t even noon yet. He leaned in the doorway when he finally reached her room, smiling gently as he bit back a yawn of his own.

Jordyn laid atop her bed, curled up into a tight ball with Doug clutched to her chest, her mouth ajar just slightly as she shivered atop her blankets. Jon padded over, kneeling on the bed and flopping onto his side and curled around her tossing the comforter over their bodies. He was happy to know that Jordyn enjoyed her first Toews family Christmas. It wasn’t for another hour and a half that the two awoke, Jordyn’s eyes wide and blinking the sleep away

“I wish we never had to leave here.” She whispered, head resting on her pillow as Doug’s fur tickled the underside of her chin.

“It would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Jon asked softly. “How about this? When my season’s over, you and I can go look for a house of our own in Chicago. We can make it our own little place and maybe it can be just as special as when we’re here.” He offered.

“But I love the apartment.” Jordyn frowned. “That’s our home.” She insisted.

“And we can keep the apartment, but we need more space, a yard, and something a little more private.” Jon replied. “We can go back to the apartment whenever we want, but I think a house is a step in the right direction.” He finished.

“Okay.” Jordyn nodded. “What do you think Grandma’s doing?” She asked, making Jon laugh.

“How about you go find out, I’ll clean up in here.” He insisted, sitting up and getting out of the bed. Jordyn hopped up, padding eagerly out of the room, still in her pajamas. Jon picked up the room, realizing that he was more than ready to move into a real home of his own for he and Jordyn.