Lie to me

I sat there with tears in my eyes, trying desperately to breathe at a normal pace. I felt Derek come over to me, put his arms around me and rock me back and forth. I loved this boy. He meant the world to me, and I screwed everything up. I looked into his eyes, and kissed him softly on the nose. I squeezed my eyes shut as I did so, that one kiss meant alot to me.. even if it meant nothing to him. I put my hands on either side of his face, and stared deeply into his eyes. Mine and his heartbeats began to accelerate. I loved him so much. It was so hard to not just grab him and kiss him with all the love and passion that I had left to share. I don't know what would happen if he ever decided to leave me. I still had to know, though, did he sleep with Anne? Or did he want to? I needed to know. I looked down at my now folded hands, as he let his lips rest upon my forehead. He put so much passion into the things he did, I wonder how he's like around Anne. Does he treat her with care, does she show him the respect he deserves?
"Did you sleep with her?" I said in a quiet voice. So quiet, I didn't know if he had even heard me. I looked up at him and he rubbed his face. He then looked down at me with sad eyes.
"I'm so sorry." he said with a quiet, hurt voice. He really looked sorry too. He showed so much emotion, that it was almost hard to get up and walk away.
"How could you? Why would you? I wanted-" I looked away at that moment.. I almost let something slip that should definitely not be said. I could feel the tears come back. He then walked over to me and looked down at me with sad eyes.
"What did you want?" He said with a quiet voice. That's when I broke down once more. I dropped to my knees and let my head fall into my hands.
"I wanted YOU!" I yelled at him, not thinking. "I wanted US!I can't believe what I've done.. " I said starting to worry. I started to hyperventilate as I pushed myself up, ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I pressed my back against the door and fell to the ground. I closed my eyes and let all my feelings drift.

About 15 minutes went by. Derek sat on the opposite sit of the door and tried to get me to talk to him.
"Please. Tara. Just come back out. Don't make me unlock the door. Tara, please" I noticed the sweat on my forehead as I stood up. Not thinking, I started to remove my clothing. The only thing I left on was my bra and underwear. I turned the knob on the tub to the coldest that it get. I climbed in and turned off the water once it got halfway. I closed my eyes and discarded the fact that I was really cold. I could feel my body start to go numb and I knew that wasn't a good thing. I just didn't have the energy to get out. I heard the door open and footsteps coming towards me. Derek lifted me out of the tub and carried me into my room. He sat me down on the side of my bed and slowly ran a towel down my body. I watched him as he did so. He made sure he got every drop of water, and then put me under the blankets. I watched him as he started to remove his clothing as well. It was the first time I had ever seen Derek in just his boxers. He got in bed as well, and pulled me closer. I could feel myself gain heat, and I could feel my eyes start to close.
"I love you." I thought I heard him whisper, but I had already fallen asleep.