This Loneliness Is Killing Me

News about our engagement spread like wildfire the night after the ESPY Awards.

Generally the media would be covering who won what at the ESPY’s and who wore it better and what ridiculous thing someone did to cause major controversy that would later become new sketch’s on SNL, but this time it was only on Shaun and I.

We expected getting a lot of attention for it, we didn’t even attempt to discreetly hide it or to not comment when they asked about my ring, we just gave them the truth and everybody was eating it up.

Every channel we flipped through and every magazine we opened there’d be a huge article on our engagement and how we’ve managed to keep it a secret for two weeks.

Most were happy for us and wished us the best of luck before moving over to the topic of either how gorgeous the ring was or the clothes we decided to wear that night and how we were too informal for the event.

We definitely got a fair share of bashing from that, and if they weren’t talking about that they were talking about how it wouldn’t last long and our marriage would end as quickly as most celebrity couples do or how we might end up having a whole Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck ordeal where we would constantly be saying the wedding is on to call it off a week later.

Unfortunately that wasn’t the only thing we were in the media for, after TMZ had published our little conversation on what our future children could possibly be like, most media outlets definitely took what we said out of context to make it sound like we would be the worst parents ever or that we were too young or that our relationship was too young in order to be speaking about children.

I think that’s what bothered us the most, the constant lies about any child we might possibly produce, they’re expecting us to turn into a Britney, K-Fed couple when it comes to raising children and that clearly upset us both. But we constantly reassure ourselves not to take what they’re saying personally, especially since they took everything we said extremely out of context.

After our grand media coverage it definitely boosted us up from our normal B-list celebrity status back up at an A, which we definitely could’ve gone without because it makes it even harder than it already was to walk the streets of L.A. Especially when we’re constantly bounce for A-list to B-list, it got hard to keep up with.

We were requested to do several million interviews; it was like the Olympics for us all over again. We have to go on Oprah, Jimmy Fallon, Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen, Rachel Ray, absolutely every talk show you could think of, we would be making an appearance, and we even had to do an interview-esque thing with Dr. Phil about being happy in a relationship and staying committed or something like that, mind you we were only in the audience and were asked for our two cents every couple of minutes.

Strangely enough this time round though, I liked the increasing amount of interviews because they always asked for both Shaun and I, not just one or the other, so that meant, instead of our usual two weeks together before we had to be separated, we got to be together for two months instead, and a couple of interviews were definitely worth it, especially since interviews are definitely one of our favorite things to do.

Although some interviews were more awkward than others, they were still fun to do. We had to do an interview for MTV Live in Canada and they definitely weren’t in the least bit nervous or scared to go right ahead and ask us about our sex life.

Of course it threw us off guard when Daren blatantly asked how often we had sex, but we easily answered it after agreeing that we’d only answer so many sex questions, but they definitely took the chance to ask us several more questions of that manner.

“You and Shaun have sex, like, every single night you’re together?” Alex screeched from the other end of the phone.

“Um, yeah.” I laughed; Shaun and I were currently staying in a hotel room for the night in Chicago because we have to do our interview with Oprah tomorrow afternoon.

“That’s insane!” She laughed, “Why?”

“Um, because we’re generally apart for months at a time before we get to see each other for, like, two weeks straight.” I replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “So we make the most of it.” I laughed.

“That or you two are horny little fuckers who can’t keep your hands off each other.” She joked.

“Well, Shaun is still a dude, and much to popular disbelief because of his classiness, he does, in fact, think about sex as often as other guys do. He does have wants and needs dude, just because he’s more reserved about that stuff doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to fuck… It also doesn’t help that I kind of have the same mindset as he does when it comes to sex.” I replied quietly.

“Who’s on top?” She joked.

“That I can’t tell you.” I taunted, “But how are the guys?” I asked, changing the subject as Shaun burst into the room and sat down on the foot of the bed next to me, kissing my cheek before taking the remote and turning on the television. “Yes, because I’m not on the phone at all.” I said sarcastically at Shaun.

“I’m hoping if I turn up the TV loud enough it’ll get you off the phone.” He smiled as he flipped through channels before stopping on TMZ.

“What does he want?” Alex asked.

“For me to get off the phone.” I replied, shouting slightly so she could hear my voice over the TV.

“Why?”

“Ya, why do you want me off the phone?” I asked Shaun.

“Because I wanna have sex.” He stated simply with a smirk.

“He wants to get laid.” I replied nonchalantly.

“He’s going to have to be more aggressive than that.” She laughed.

“She said you’re going to have to be more aggressive if you want me off the phone.” I said to Shaun.

“I can do that.” He stated simply as he sat me down on his lap and began kissing my neck.

“Stop it dude, I’m on the fucking phone.” I scolded as I tried to push him away from me.

“Good bye Alex.” Shaun said into the phone when he took it out of my hand before hanging up and tossing the phone on the floor and continuing with kissing my neck.

“She’s gonna hardcore make fun of us, y’know that?”

“Couldn’t care less.” He mumbled before stopping abruptly.

“What are you up to now?” I smiled.

“Shh, Mason is on TMZ.” Shaun stated, his eyes staying fixated on the television screen, “Apparently him and Ashley have a thing.” He said flatly.

“As in Ashley your ex, Ashley?” I asked curiously before turning to the TV.

There she was, in a picture holding hands with Mason, she had found her way back into my life and I knew this wasn’t going to end well.