Far From Over: A Billie Joe Story

After a few hours of little talking, everyone but Robbie had gone home. We sat down at the dining table when the last person left.

"You're her biological father, Billie," Robbie says. "It's impossible that she could love me more than you."

"After what I did to her? She could have loved the hobo down the street more than me," I say with a serious facial expression. "She had every right to hate my guts since the first time I hurt her."

"When was that? What happened?" I stare at open space as I remember everything.

"Baby girl, can I come in," I ask through Ellie's bedroom door. My heart continues to hammer against my ribs.

"Sure, Dad," she says, turning her stereo off. I walk in a shut the door behind me. I sit down in front of her on the bed and smile at her bright wide eyes.

"How are you doing?"

"Fine, I guess. Better than how I was when Mom left." I nod.

"Anything I can do to make things a little easier for you to adjust to?" She shakes her head.

"Nah, I think I'm good." I stare at her for a few seconds before nervously leaning forward and just barely touching her lips with mine. She jumps backward so her back is touching the wall above her bed. "What the hell are you doing," she screams at me. I'm not fazed.

"Don't you know why your mother wanted a divorce," I ask quietly, moving closer to her. She shrinks away.

"No," she says shakily.

"She heard me talking in my sleep." In one swift movement, I pull her legs so she lying underneath me and my legs are on either side of her. "She heard me say I wanted you."

"Dad, don't-" I put my finger to her lips to make her stop talking.

"I wanted to fuck you so hard you'd forget I was your daddy," I whisper, ever so slowly leaning closer and closer. She stays completely still as I press my lips against hers, but she turns her head when I try to deepen the kiss. "Ellie, stop. Either you do what I want or I will beat you, got it?" She stares at me, frightened, as I unbutton her jeans. "Take your shirt off." She does as I say and I pull her jeans off. I take my own clothes off and hungrily look down at her body. I tear her bra and panties off and thrust into her, hearing a crisp and clear scream rip out of her throat.

I sigh as I watch Robbie's horrified expression.

"That's how you took her virginity," he asks, shocked. I nod.

"At first, I thought everything could go smoothly. But then..." I look down.

"Then what?" I wait a few seconds before meeting his angry, curious, scared gaze.

"The morning after I did that to her... I would give anything to forget the look in her eyes when she saw me."