Suffering Alone In Silence

Frank’s POV

Today is Monday. I have just arrived at Gerard and Mikey’s house. It is a neat little house in a quiet street, just a stone’s throw from the shopping centre. Mikey had picked us up in his car because Gerard’s is in the car. I climb out of the front seat and stand by the, now locked, car. I Observe the outside the house with mild curiosity.

“Frankie?” Gerard asks.

“Huh?” I look up from my dreaming.

“You coming inside?” He asks.

He has my bag in one hand and is gesturing for me to follow with the other. I let him take me by the hand and lead me inside.
He drops my bag by the front door and tugs me along further into the house.

“Mom, We’re back!” Gerard yells.

“In the kitchen.” His mom yells back.

He nods once to himself and starts to pull me in that general direction. I dig my heels in for a second.

“What’s up?” He ask, concern gracing his features.

“W-where’s Mikey?” I ask.

“Kitchen.” He replies instantly.

“Okay.” I reply.

Gerard drops my hand and I let him guide me to the kitchen.

“Mom? This is Frankie.” Gerard introduces us before Mrs Way can even turn around.

“Oh, hello dear, my don’t you look like you need to be fed. Come sit down I’ll fix you
something to eat.” She fusses.

I do as I am told and take a seat next to Mikey.

“Don’t worry Frankie, mom is the best cook.” Mikey smiles at me and nudges his elbow into my arm gently.

“What would you like to eat Frank?” She asks.

“Uhm. I don’t know.” I mumble.

“What do you like to eat?” She asks.

“Uhm, I like toast with chocolate on it.” I mumble once more.

“Okay, toast with chocolate it is.” She beams.

“What would you like to drink sweetie. We have coffee juice milk or water.” She asks once more while waiting for the toast.

“Uhm, milk might be nice.” I say.

“When was the last time you had milk Frank?” She asks, concerned.

I instantly knew that she picked up on my facial expression and tone of voice.

“Not since...” I trail off. I can’t bear to finish that sentence.

“It’s okay, we’ll talk about it later.” Gerard pats my knee.

I get that feeling in my stomach. I give a silent heave. I turn to Gerard.

“Where’s your bathroom?” I ask.

He notices my pale face and instantly grabs me. He rushes me to the bathroom before I collapse in front of the toilet and hurl what’s left in my empty stomach.

“Are you sick?” Gerard asks once I am finished.

“No, not really.” I mumble.

I get up and look in the mirror.

“Here.” Gerard hands me my toothbrush with some toothpaste on it. I quickly brush the
smell and taste of vomit from my mouth.

When I’ve finished I put on the counter.

“Gerard I need to tell you something, it’s really big and I am really fucking scared.” I mumble.

“Okay, follow me.” He says.

I grab his hand and he leads me to a room at the end of the hallway. We go in and sit on the bed.

“This is your room. No one is allowed in unless you say it’s okay. Got it?” Gerard says, before continuing.

“What is said in this room stays in this room unless I write it down for the ward. Everyone in this house knows that rule.” He finishes.

“Okay...thanks.” I say.

We sit for a while, before I just come clean.

“Gerard...I think...I think...” I pause to gather the right words.

“I think I like you, more than I probably should.” I say.

He sits and thinks it over for a moment, I hold my breath.

“Okay.” He replies.

I am mildly shocked, however, when I find myself with Gerard’s lips on my own. It’s hard and rough, but not open mouthed. It is everything I have wanted and everything I am scared of.

I push him away seconds later.

“Oh my god. Gerard...” I mumble, trailing off at the end.

In the next moment I am startled by my own actions as I reattach my lips to his. I am trembling and terrified, yet so exhilarated. This kiss is fiery and hot and I am addicted.

All I can think is: Holy Shit, I need to get out of this very, very bad situation.