Baby, I'm A Dreamer For Sure

I was pissed. And I was confused. But mostly I was hurt. Even though I knew it was bad I had never thought it would come to this. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“Are you serious?” I asked in shock, still not being able to fully understand.

“Yes,” My mother answered calmly. “Your father and I talked this out yesterday. You know things haven’t been so great lately and I know it’s hard on you when we fight and we’ve come to the conclusion that a divorce is better for everyone.”

“But how can you just give up like that?” I swallowed the lump in my throat and pushed back my tears. Even though I hated them fighting it still hurt that they were getting divorced. I couldn’t help but feel responsible for them breaking up.

She just looked at me with sad eyes, trying to come up with words to explain.

“What will happen to me?” I asked. I was caught in the middle of this. I felt like if they gave up their marriage they also gave up on me. If they regretted being together, they also regretted having me. I knew they weren’t the best kind of parents, but they were all I had, I had no siblings and no other family besides them.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

After a long conversation with my mom, she left the house. She said she needed some time to breathe and was going out of town for a few days. I didn’t question it, but it left me alone in the house until she came back. Dad was gone on a business trip in Chicago. He got a promotion, which led him to having to move there. This was apparently the reason for the divorce, or at least what set it off. Mom refused to move, dad refused to turn the offer down. And neither of them was devoted enough for a long distance relationship, since they already had problems when living together.

I didn’t want to be alone, right now. I didn’t want to think about them. I picked up my phone and called Alex. He was the only one who knew how really bad the situation with my parents was, and he was the only one that could comfort me in a time like this. I needed his comfort.

While I waited for Alex to come over I needed to do something to get my mind off the divorce. I decided to make some cookies and put on Every Avenue’s EP Dave gave me last night. I was really starting to like their music. I didn’t really help though, I soon noticed the tears that was falling down my cheeks. I wondered what took Alex so long. I cleaned up in the kitchen while I waited for the chocolate chip cookies to finish baking in the oven.

I was just taking the cookies out when the doorbell rang. I sat them down on the stove and went to answer the door. When I opened the door all I could see was Alex hiding his face behind a big bouquet of red roses. I just stood there in shock as he slowly brought the flowers down showing a small smile on his lips.

“Hi,” He stepped forward and leaned in to kiss my lips. I was too surprised to even comprehend what was happening to respond. He walked inside and closed the door behind him and then held the roses out for me.

I took them warily, wondering what the occasion for buying me flowers was. I was just opening my mouth to ask him when he sniffed the air and a huge grin spread on his face.

“Are you baking?” He asked excitedly. Without waiting for my answer he hurried into the kitchen. I followed him and saw how he was leaning over the stove.

“Be careful, they’re hot.” I warned him but it was already too late. He let out a yelp and opened his mouth, fanning his tongue while he searched the cupboards for a glass. When he found one he quickly filled it with cold water and drank from it eagerly.

I giggled at him but stopped, biting my lip feeling guilty when I saw the pout on his face.

“You couldn’t have said that a little earlier?” He said bitterly, but I knew he was only joking around.

“It’s not my fault you throw yourself at cookies that fast.” I giggled and walked up to him, brushing some cookie crumbles off his cheek. I cupped his cheek when it was clean, looking him deep in the eyes as I leaned in and captured his lips with mine.

He pulled away and finished chewing the cookie with an innocent smile on his face. “So, Every Avenue, huh?” He raised his eyebrows, indicating to the music playing.

“Yep, they’re awesome.” I grinned just mess with him.

He narrowed his eyes at me playfully. “Now I’m going to have to give you our EP as well. I feel threatened.”

I laughed at his stupid, behaviour. “Why would you feel threatened?”

“Dave was flirting with you.” He made a funny grimace and pouted.

“Up until I gave him Sophie’s number.”

“Still, you’re mine.” He pulled me in a hug and breathed into my neck.

I giggled softly and patted his back awkwardly. “Sure.” I agreed with him. He pulled his face up in level with mine and showed me the biggest grin on his face. “Do you think he’s called her yet?” I asked him.

“I don’t know, he’s not exactly shy but...” He shrugged. “Do you?”

“I don’t know either, but I do know Sophie would be more than willing to go out with him.” I smiled sweetly at him and leaned in to kiss his lips, they were so addicting.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me closer into him as he deepened the kiss. Just the touch of his lips made me feel so much better after the devastating news I learned today. He could always make me forget about everything else. Making all my problems go away, at least for a short while.

I broke the kiss only when I had to breathe. I had my eyes closed still as I leaned my forehead against his, breathing in the same air as him, taking in his intoxicating scent.

I opened my eyes only to see him looking down at me lovingly. I blushed under his stare and smiled shyly up at him. I took a step back observing him lightly. Remembering I still had the roses in my hand. I brought them up to my face and smiled as I inhaled their sweet scent. “Thank you, Alex.”

He smiled and brought me into his side, kissing my temple. “You’re welcome, honey.” I smiled up at him, blushing slightly at the pet name. No matter how many times he called me; honey, babe or any other kind of nick name he had for me, it always made me blush. I think just the thought of me liking me still kind of amazed me.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why?” I asked him warily as I walked up to the cupboards and took out a vase. I filled it with water then placed the roses in it and put it on the kitchen table. I looked up at Alex who had a guilty look on his face.

He cleared his throat and sighed. “I…You sounded so sad on the phone, I wanted to cheer you up. And consider it part of my apology for the fight last night. I know I made it worse by being drunk and all. That and… I love you. And you deserve the best.” He smiled nervously as he watched me.

He was being too great for words right now. How could he think I deserved more than him? He was amazing, and I had, well not exactly lied to him but not told the whole truth at least. If anything, it was me who did not deserve him.

Then there was the case of those three words. I knew he had said them last night but I hadn’t been sure if he truly meant them. He was after all drunk, and it could have been just because I had said them and it was a good way to solve the fight.

But hearing them right now, I knew he meant them. It made my heart race and a blush form on my cheeks. Walking closer to him I wrapped my arm around his waist, hugging him close to me. “Will you stay the night?” I mumbled into his chest. I looked up into his eyes hopefully.

“Of course I will.” He kissed my cheek and held me close to him. “Will you tell me what made you upset then?” He asked gently, with no sense of pushing me into telling him. It was simply because he cared and wanted to make me feel better.

I already did though. Just having him around made me feel better. “Yeah.”

We sat down in lounge and I told him everything me and my mom had talked about earlier. I told him exactly how I felt about it. He comforted me and told me everything was going to be alright. It felt so good to have someone to talk to this about. I knew if I didn’t have Alex I would probably have gone to Sophie but it just wouldn’t have been the same. Just a single look from Alex would change my whole mood and he had the ability to make everything seem okay and I loved that about him.

We talked for a long time. He told me about the tour they were going on after graduation and how excited he was for it. We talked about school and a new movie that was coming that we both wanted to see. When the evening came we made some food and then watched a movie.

“I’m tired.” I let out a yawn as I cuddled into his side on the couch. The movie was just ending and it was dark outside.

“Then let’s go to bed.” Alex replied. Kissing my temple he helped me up from the couch. I turned the TV off and walked upstairs to my room with Alex following behind me. I walked up to my wardrobe and took out a tank top and a pier of shorts that I usually sleep in.

“I’m just going to go change and get ready.” I told him before going into the bathroom across the hall.

I washed off my make up and brushed my teeth before changing into my PJ’s. I suddenly got nervous thinking of Alex being in my bed. It was weird seeing I had slept in the same bed as him dozens of times, even before we even got together! But something just felt different tonight. The image of his body flashed before my eyes and I got an unfamiliar feeling in my lower stomach and my heart beat faster. I knew what I wanted tonight.

When I walked back into my room I saw Alex sitting up in my bed in only his boxers. The sight of him made my temperature rising and breathing labored. He was so beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I looked up to face and saw he was studying me with a smirk on his face. And what that smile did to me.

I quickly closed the door and turned the lights out leaving only the moon to illuminate the room. I walked over to him looking him dead in the eyes and bit my lip nervously as I sat down in his lap, straddling his thighs.

His hands snaked around my waist, holding my tightly against him. He lifted his chin up and kissed me gently on my lips. I had made up my mind though. I brought my hands up to his face and deepened the kiss. He didn’t object and opened his mouth letting my tongue inside. He let me take control of the situation and take it in my pace. I pulled away from the kiss and with shaking hands lifted the tank top over my head and discarded it somewhere in the room, leaving me completely exposed to him.

His eyes darkened with lust as they glued to my chest. I nervously bit my lip, never before had I gone this far with anyone. Alex lifted his gaze to my eyes and attacked my lips hungrily. With one hand behind my neck, bringing my face closer to his, and one on my hip rubbing soothing circles into my skin with his thumb, he shifted positions and lay me down on my back on the bed and climbed on top of me.

“Are you sure of this?” He whispered in my ear.

I shivered when his hot breath hit my skin. “I’m sure.” I assured him, bringing his face back to mine to capture his lips again.