Your Lips Are a Hot Flame

I stormed into the bus, throwing everything out of my way, causing even more chaos. I screamed profanities as I smashed my fist against the wall over and over until my knuckles bled. I sat down with my head in my hands and pulled on my hair, trying not to scream more. I was so fucking angry with them, I didn't know what to do. I sat there breathing deeply before standing up quickly, feeling the adrenaline and rage flow through my veins. This wasn't me, I never got this angry, ever.

I hadn't the slightest idea where I was going but I was going somewhere, it was chilly outside the cold air nipped at my exposed skin, making me shiver. Dammit why hadn't I brought a hoodie? Nonetheless I kept walking, it was getting dark which meant I'd more than likely get lost, I didn't care though, no one would if I vanished.

I looked at my knuckles, the cold air stung them. The cuts were bad, I'd probably need bandages, maybe even stitches. That was another thing I hadn't the care in the world for, I just wanted my Alex back. To snuggle up to me and tell me he loved me, but he was with that piece of ginger scum. I growled as I turned a corner onto a dimly lit street, there was a small coffee-shop that was open I scurried my way in to order a cup.

I opened the door and heard the jingle of the bell, the smell of the stale coffee hit me as soon as I entered. It was so potent I almost gagged, the place was small and disgusting. Grime covered the walls and tables, not that there was many tables, only a few scattered around the floor. I walked to the counter, being careful not to touch the desktop, I was greeted by an elderly woman, her gray hair was tied into a bun with a hair net covering it, I smiled warily. She was wearing a little pink and white striped outfit, with a small name tag on her left breast pocket.

"What would you like son?" The women known as 'Mags' asked me, smiling sweetly.

"Uh, just a plain coffee please." I spoke, in almost a whisper. I handed her a few dollars before I crossed my arms, she was eying my cut up knuckles, she frowned slightly before going to the coffee machine.

The lights flickered which made me jump a little, the woman handed me my coffee and change, I thanked her before quickly leaving. It was much darker than when I had entered, I hadn't the slightest idea where I was. I felt my phone suddenly vibrate in my jean pocket, giving me a fright and making me drop my coffee, I was really pissed off now. I pulled my phone out my pocket with a grunt before answering.

"What!?" I yelled down to the other end.

"Where the fuck are you Jack!? Seriously, we're all worried." Matt's tone was soft and gentle, I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"I was getting coffee." I mumbled. "I don't know where I am."

"Stay where you are, Zack and I are coming to get you." Matt sighed before hanging up.

I sighed too as I saw I had a text from Alex, I opened up our conversation and read the message. It wasn't Alex, it was filled with full stops and no kisses. It only harshly read;

"Staying on Caleb's bus tonight. See you in the morning."

I never replied, I just scrolled through our old conversations. It pained me to read over these, but I couldn't help myself, I desperately needed some form of reassurance that he still loved me. So far it wasn't working, I just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I didn't know how long past before Matt and Zack turned the corner, Zack pulled his Glamor Kills hoodie over his head and handed me it. I thanked him and put it on, I was in autopilot the whole way to the bus. I'm sure the guys were trying to talk to me about my hands but I couldn't hear them, I was probably blowing everything out of proportion.

I went directly to my bunk and curled into a ball, I pulled my iPod from under my pillow and turned it on. I placed the buds in my ears as I choose Alex's play list, all these songs reminded him of me and vice versa. Why I was doing this to myself, I hadn't the slightest idea. I missed Alex dearly, I missed his scent, his hair, his eyes, his breath on my neck, his everything. I felt tears trickle down my face and onto my hands, it nipped my cuts but I ignored it.

I felt someone climb in next to me, I prayed I wished it was Alex but I knew by the smell it wasn't. I turned around to face Rian, he smiled weakly as he wrapped me in his arms and comfort me as I cried. I just wanted my boyfriend back.