You've Got This Silly Way of Keeping Me on the Edge of My Seat
We spent most afternoons somewhere in the act
[[Gerard's POV]]
Once again, I was in Frankie's arms. I was kissing him and doing all the sexy little things I loved to do to him... and he was doing the sexy little things I absolutely loved him doing to me... whispering sexy little nothings in my ear and sucking hard on my neck, placing butterfly kisses down my stomach... desperate cries for each other to fulfill the other's every sinful wish.
Only this time... it wasn't a dream.
His skillful hands were getting reacquainted with my body, his kisses were still lingering on mine as they made their way down to my neck and my chest and even further... unleashing this undeniable force that lied dormant for endless nights, all leading up to this very moment, when we were finally together again.
The touching, the kissing, the desperation for each other - all of it was real.
Frankie wasn't just a figment of my imagination anymore, he was no longer just a sweet sweet dream... he was actually here with me, in my bed; he was my dream come true.
"Oh Frankie... fuck me," I murmured without even realizing it. He stopped what he was doing and just looked at me, a smirk playing across those delicious lips of his. We were already stripped down to our boxers, and before I knew it we weren't even wearing those anymore. I couldn't even explain the feeling I had when I saw him like this, my eyes literally lit up when I saw him, all of him, for the first time in such a long fucking time. And he was doing such wonderful and amazing things to me... making me feel so wonderful and amazing... and then I cringed.
Absolutely fucking cringed as the image of Shawn doing the same exact things that Frankie was doing to me just earlier in the evening came seeping back into my memory - only when Shawn did it, it was completely different. His kisses were harsh, the way he grabbed me was rough, and he didn't bother taking his time with me. Instead he forced himself in me, not bothering to prepare me for such a fucking thing. He didn't care that he hurt me, only caring about the release he knew he was about to get in only a matter of minutes.
"Gee.... what's wrong, baby?"
His voice stopped all the horrible visions and vibrations that had drifted into my mind when I remembered what Shawn had done to me right before I tried jumping to my doom and Frankie saved me.
I felt the tears start falling yet again at how overwhelming tonight has been.
"Gee... Gee please, please don't cry," he said, getting off of me and instead crawling into my arms and kissing away my tears.
"I'm sorry, Frankie... you've saved me tonight, in so many different ways I don't think you could even comprehend just what you've done tonight," I sighed, a slight hiccup slipping from my lips.
"Don't ever be sorry, Gerard. You're safe, that's all that matters," he said, smiling that sweet smile of his up at me.
"No, no that's not all that matters. Not at all. What matters is that you're here, Frankie. What matters is this, right here, me and you. I can't ever lose you... I fought with myself to tell you this, but I just have to. I don't just want to be with you, Frank. I need to be with you. I need you here with me, always Frankie please... please don't leave me," I whispered that last part, clutching him as tight as I possibly could.
I felt his breathing become a little uneasy, as he fidgeted in my arms. He sat up and looked at me, his face suddenly pale in the moonlit room.
"I have to tell you something, sugar..." he said with the most serious look possible. I gulped at the possibility of what it was he needed to tell me, I could feel the fear rising in my gut. Judging by the look on his face, I knew it couldn't possibly be good news.
He took a deep breath, and just as he was about to speak I lunged myself at him, attacking his lips in the most desperate way possible. I couldn't handle any bad news. I couldn't handle him telling me he couldn't be with me for some reason or another, so I just decided to stop him before whatever it was could escape his lips. I really didn't think I could handle it.
I pulled away from him, cupping the side of his face and looking into those gorgeous greenish-hazel eyes of his. He relaxed a little and just simply smiled at me, whispering nothing more than "I love you."
"I love you, too, Frankie. So...fucking...much," I started to say, before I got into another one of those awful coughing fits I'd been getting recently. They were so bad I could barely breathe, and this time was just as bad as the others, if not worse.
"Gee are you okay? Do you want me to get you anything?" He asked, concern dripping from his words.
"Water, love," I managed to get out between my coughs. He nodded and bolted out of the room as my fit continued. The coughs finally settled a bit, leaving me heaving a little and slightly breathless.
My eyes wandered around the room, and caught sight of a big bag that was draped in the center of the room. I didn't recognize it, and of course I was curious as to what was in it so I got up from the bed and pulled my boxers back on then made my way over to the light switch to turn it on. My heart fluttered when I saw what bag it was - the bag I'd asked Mikey to bring over to me. This was my bag that contained all of my stuff that had to do with Frankie. I mean, this bag contained everything - letters, pictures, drawings...
I had packed all this stuff up the last time I spied on Frank and saw that he had moved on and decided he was better off without me. I brought it back to Jersey so I could move on, well, try to move on... this bag contained everything that pertained to our relationship, except for that one picture of us that I loved too fucking much to let go of. It was the picture of us that I'd painted on the wall, I kept that picture with me at all times... but everything else was in here.
I reached into the bag and started pulling stuff out, smiling at first at the silly pictures we'd taken. My heart was fluttering as the memories came pouring back... then sank when I grabbed an envelope that could have changed the past five years dramatically had it actually gotten to him in time.
I only noticed Frank's existence in the room when he sat down next to me on the floor. He handed me my water, but I didn't take it. I stared blankly at the envelope that was labeled "Frank Anthony Iero-Way" that had a big "return-to-sender" stamped across the front of it. I handed it to him with shaky hands, a single tear falling from my eye.
He took it reluctantly, almost as if he were afraid to open it. He tore the envelope open, and I took a deep breath preparing myself for what was about to happen.
He read over it for a few minutes, and I saw the expression on his face change from curiosity to anger.
"What the fuck, Gee?" he asked, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes at any given minute.
Here goes nothing...
Once again, I was in Frankie's arms. I was kissing him and doing all the sexy little things I loved to do to him... and he was doing the sexy little things I absolutely loved him doing to me... whispering sexy little nothings in my ear and sucking hard on my neck, placing butterfly kisses down my stomach... desperate cries for each other to fulfill the other's every sinful wish.
Only this time... it wasn't a dream.
His skillful hands were getting reacquainted with my body, his kisses were still lingering on mine as they made their way down to my neck and my chest and even further... unleashing this undeniable force that lied dormant for endless nights, all leading up to this very moment, when we were finally together again.
The touching, the kissing, the desperation for each other - all of it was real.
Frankie wasn't just a figment of my imagination anymore, he was no longer just a sweet sweet dream... he was actually here with me, in my bed; he was my dream come true.
"Oh Frankie... fuck me," I murmured without even realizing it. He stopped what he was doing and just looked at me, a smirk playing across those delicious lips of his. We were already stripped down to our boxers, and before I knew it we weren't even wearing those anymore. I couldn't even explain the feeling I had when I saw him like this, my eyes literally lit up when I saw him, all of him, for the first time in such a long fucking time. And he was doing such wonderful and amazing things to me... making me feel so wonderful and amazing... and then I cringed.
Absolutely fucking cringed as the image of Shawn doing the same exact things that Frankie was doing to me just earlier in the evening came seeping back into my memory - only when Shawn did it, it was completely different. His kisses were harsh, the way he grabbed me was rough, and he didn't bother taking his time with me. Instead he forced himself in me, not bothering to prepare me for such a fucking thing. He didn't care that he hurt me, only caring about the release he knew he was about to get in only a matter of minutes.
"Gee.... what's wrong, baby?"
His voice stopped all the horrible visions and vibrations that had drifted into my mind when I remembered what Shawn had done to me right before I tried jumping to my doom and Frankie saved me.
I felt the tears start falling yet again at how overwhelming tonight has been.
"Gee... Gee please, please don't cry," he said, getting off of me and instead crawling into my arms and kissing away my tears.
"I'm sorry, Frankie... you've saved me tonight, in so many different ways I don't think you could even comprehend just what you've done tonight," I sighed, a slight hiccup slipping from my lips.
"Don't ever be sorry, Gerard. You're safe, that's all that matters," he said, smiling that sweet smile of his up at me.
"No, no that's not all that matters. Not at all. What matters is that you're here, Frankie. What matters is this, right here, me and you. I can't ever lose you... I fought with myself to tell you this, but I just have to. I don't just want to be with you, Frank. I need to be with you. I need you here with me, always Frankie please... please don't leave me," I whispered that last part, clutching him as tight as I possibly could.
I felt his breathing become a little uneasy, as he fidgeted in my arms. He sat up and looked at me, his face suddenly pale in the moonlit room.
"I have to tell you something, sugar..." he said with the most serious look possible. I gulped at the possibility of what it was he needed to tell me, I could feel the fear rising in my gut. Judging by the look on his face, I knew it couldn't possibly be good news.
He took a deep breath, and just as he was about to speak I lunged myself at him, attacking his lips in the most desperate way possible. I couldn't handle any bad news. I couldn't handle him telling me he couldn't be with me for some reason or another, so I just decided to stop him before whatever it was could escape his lips. I really didn't think I could handle it.
I pulled away from him, cupping the side of his face and looking into those gorgeous greenish-hazel eyes of his. He relaxed a little and just simply smiled at me, whispering nothing more than "I love you."
"I love you, too, Frankie. So...fucking...much," I started to say, before I got into another one of those awful coughing fits I'd been getting recently. They were so bad I could barely breathe, and this time was just as bad as the others, if not worse.
"Gee are you okay? Do you want me to get you anything?" He asked, concern dripping from his words.
"Water, love," I managed to get out between my coughs. He nodded and bolted out of the room as my fit continued. The coughs finally settled a bit, leaving me heaving a little and slightly breathless.
My eyes wandered around the room, and caught sight of a big bag that was draped in the center of the room. I didn't recognize it, and of course I was curious as to what was in it so I got up from the bed and pulled my boxers back on then made my way over to the light switch to turn it on. My heart fluttered when I saw what bag it was - the bag I'd asked Mikey to bring over to me. This was my bag that contained all of my stuff that had to do with Frankie. I mean, this bag contained everything - letters, pictures, drawings...
I had packed all this stuff up the last time I spied on Frank and saw that he had moved on and decided he was better off without me. I brought it back to Jersey so I could move on, well, try to move on... this bag contained everything that pertained to our relationship, except for that one picture of us that I loved too fucking much to let go of. It was the picture of us that I'd painted on the wall, I kept that picture with me at all times... but everything else was in here.
I reached into the bag and started pulling stuff out, smiling at first at the silly pictures we'd taken. My heart was fluttering as the memories came pouring back... then sank when I grabbed an envelope that could have changed the past five years dramatically had it actually gotten to him in time.
I only noticed Frank's existence in the room when he sat down next to me on the floor. He handed me my water, but I didn't take it. I stared blankly at the envelope that was labeled "Frank Anthony Iero-Way" that had a big "return-to-sender" stamped across the front of it. I handed it to him with shaky hands, a single tear falling from my eye.
He took it reluctantly, almost as if he were afraid to open it. He tore the envelope open, and I took a deep breath preparing myself for what was about to happen.
He read over it for a few minutes, and I saw the expression on his face change from curiosity to anger.
"What the fuck, Gee?" he asked, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes at any given minute.
Here goes nothing...