The Past is Only the Future with the Lights On

As those words left his mouth, pain clearly evident and ringing in his strained voice, he turned and walked away, leaving me speechless and dumbfounded on his porch.

I honestly had no clue what to do at that point. All I could do was think, “and I broke up with Skyler why?” I was not expecting this reaction from Frank. I figured, you know, maybe he’d at least try talking to me about it, or even let me explain myself somewhat; not walk away from me like that.

So I resulted to the one thing I knew I could turn to. The four walls I could call my own.

As I came into the house, I attempted to be as quiet as possible. Grandma and dad were still conversing in the kitchen, only now I could hear Jenny throw in her own in-put on the discussion every now and then. I crept slowly up the staircase, knowing one little creak would draw attention to me and possibly drag me into the conversation again. Which was something I really did not need at the moment.

Once in the confines of my room, I collapsed in a ball on my bed, pulling the covers over my head as an endeavor to conceal the sobs now rapidly escaping my mouth.

And that is how I remained for the rest of the evening, silently crying my eyes out and hoping against hope that I would hear from Frank once more that night, until I finally fell asleep from the exhaustion crying had brought upon me.

It wasn’t until the next day when I awoke at 4.47 in the morning - thanks to the illuminated green numbers on my alarm I was able to tell in the pitch black of the room - that I realized I would soon be attending my final day of high school. It seemed like just yesterday my “stalker” and his goofy looking friend had showed up on my doorstep to walk me to Belleville High - where I would finish the year off with these kids close by my side, along with the sweetest girl ever - after receiving my charms from the kindhearted boy I had left outside the previous night and walking off in the wrong direction. The lot of us would have our ups and downs, like any other group of high school friends, but we would help each other through these obstacles. It was almost hard to believe this would all be coming to an end shortly, until we started the next chapter of our lives, college, together, that is. Well, I was hoping so anyways. Things weren’t exactly the greatest between me and all of my friends, in case you hadn’t noticed.

With this last thought crossing my mind, I rose to my feet with a sigh, deciding to get a head start on readying myself for the day.

“So what’s the plan for after school?” my grandma asked from the kitchen as I slipped my shoes on in the entrance.

Once accomplishing this, I checked my appearance in the mirror by the front door, feeling somewhat content with my perfectly straight hair and my blue eyes encircled by a layer of black eyeliner.

I then explained to my grandmother that Dahlia and I would walk back to our house at noon, due to the fact that we had a short day, pick up my dress and anything else I may need, then walk back to her house, where we would get ready for the dance together.

“Sounds good,” she said with a smile, taking a sip of unflavored coffee from her hummingbird mug. “I expect pictures of the two of you,” she insisted. “And a couple of you and Skyler, too.”

I nearly choked on my own spit when she said this. I had completely forgotten to tell her about my recent breakup with Skyler. This may just kill her a little bit on the inside…

“Uhm…” I started, my eyes wandering over everything in the room but her. “I don’t really think him and I are going together anymore…”

She abruptly looked up at me from the magazine at her table, eyes wide and jaw dropped.

“Why not?” she asked.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and shrugged, uncapping it and taking a swig; another term for this: stalling.

“I just…took your advice,” I told her simply, not wanting to get into much detail.

When I turned to face her, I was expecting to see a sorrowful, or even upset, expression on her face. However, what I got was the exact opposite. A wide grin spread across her thin lips, almost making her pale eyes dance as she clapped her hands together excitedly.

“So, who are you going with now?” she asked knowingly, raising her eyebrows.

I placed my water back in the fridge and slid my backpack onto my shoulder as I spoke.

“Well, it actually looks like I’m gonna be a little stag tonight,” I said with a sigh, shrugging carelessly - though I was far from not caring - once more, a picture of Frank’s face flickering momentarily in my head. That blank expression he’d used when talking to me the day before.

My grandma’s face completely dropped at my words and she turned in her seat to face me. I could tell she was about to say something to me - most likely to ask how that was taking her advice - so I quickly cut her off before she could get anything in.

“I’ll see you later, ‘kay grams? Don’t want to be late for school,” I told her, blowing her a kiss and dashing for the door, hearing her mumble something inaudible under her breath.

When I stepped out on my porch, though it certainly was a disappointment, it came to no surprise to me that it was completely vacant, along with the one next door. Figures, Frank would want to avoid me today. But I couldn’t help but wonder how long this little ‘tiff’ of ours would last. Who knows? Maybe he’d be waiting in homeroom for me, ready to talk about our encounter from the previous day.

Or, maybe not.

It was always hard to predict just what Frank was about to do. He usually just acted on impulse at that moment, so there was no telling what would happen. He could have thought his whole day out already. But it was almost certain to me that that would change at one point today. All I had to do was wait for the perfect moment - a chance for me to get a word in with him. And all this stupid drama would be over. I would make sure of it.