Sequel: Four Years ›
Status: Completed. Read the sequel "Four Years" :)
My Saving Grace
Make-Up Smeared Eyes
"I hate Jack Barakat," I said as I looked at myself in the mirror. I was trying to convince myself that I did hate him. I didn't want to continue with this sneaking around behind Alex's back.
My conscience was getting full. Pretty soon, I wouldn't be able to keep all these secrets. I will feel so guilty that I will just...explode. Literally. Like, spontaneously combust in the middle of class.
"I hate Jack Barakat," I mumbled again, this time looking at a picture of him. A small smile broke through.
Fuck. Jack. Barakat.
Why must my life be so complicated?
I walked over to my bed and picked up the phone. My fingers dialed an all too familiar number.
I pressed the phone up against my head and waited for them to answer. I walked back over to my mirror where the picture of Jack was hanging.
"I hate Jack Barakat," I mumbled once again.
"You hate who?" A familiar voice asked.
"Oh shit, sorry, Patrick. Um..."
"It's okay. So, what's up with you in Maryland?" He asked.
"Oh, nothing...just hating boys. What's up with you in Illinois?" I shrugged even though he couldn't see me.
"We're just working on some new stuff. You're going to love it. Pete's got some lyrics and I'm working on the song aspect. It's amazing!" He began rambling.
I chuckled, "I'm definitely looking forward to hearing it, Trickers. But, when are you guys coming here?!"
"Oh, um, not for a while..."
"What the fuck, why not?" I pouted. Man, I wanted to meet the band behind the music that kept me going!
"Well, with the new stuff and everything, we don't have time to tour..."
"Patrick, I demand you come down to Maryland so I can meet the band," I said, throwing myself onto my bed. "Ow!"
"What?" He asked, a hint of concern in his voice.
"I landed on my...remote!" I yelled, pulling the remote out from under me. "Jack's dead. I told him not to leave this here..."
"Who the hell is Jack?" He finally asked. I was wondering when he was going to ask...
"Patrick, it's way complicated. I would tell you, but you'd be up for, like, six hours," I giggled lightly, shaking my head.
"Is he, like, your boyfriend or a friend?"
"Um, we're friends. And I have a boyfriend..."
"You're a whore," He said simply. It sounded like he took a bite of something.
"Patrick! You can't talk to your baby cousin like that!" I yelled. He had no right to call me that! ...Even if I was one.
"Well, if my baby cousin is acting like a whore, then yes, I can call her a whore," He laughed.
I rolled my eyes, "Y'know, if I was in Chicago right now, I would slap you."
"If you were in Chicago, you wouldn't be a whore."
"You can't prove that," I smirked. Why was I making all these faces when he couldn't see me?
He laughed and probably shook his head, "Rach, I have to go. Don't be whore."
I laughed, "Shut the hell up and go."
"Bye, Rach," He giggled.
I shook my head and pressed end. I threw the phone onto my floor and let out a long sigh.
The guys had band practice today and I wasn't planning on going. Kara was tutoring some kid, so obviously we wouldn't be hanging today. I wasn't going to be doing anything today...
Fuck, I needed more friends.
***
A tap at my window startled me.
I slowly got up from my bed, making sure that I marked the page I was on in my book. I looked out the window and saw Jack standing there on the roof.
Why he was standing on my roof and clinging to my window at 12:37 in the morning, I don't know.
I opened the window up just a crack, "What, Jack?"
"Let me in, it's cold! And it's about to pour!" He whined, desperately trying to get in.
I smirked and shut the window, locking it tightly. He just stood there, still clinging onto the windowsill.
His eyes went wide and his bottom lip poked out a little. He was giving me the puppy face.
"I hate Jack Barakat," I mumbled to myself, shutting my eyes tightly. "I hate Jack Barakat..."
"Rachel fuckin' Marie Woods, open this motherfucking window!" He shouted as a rumble of thunder rolled through the clouds.
Just ignore him and he will go away.
No, he won't. You know him better than that.
True, but he's got to learn somehow, right?
It's pouring and the poor boy is going to get a cold!
As I battled with my conscience, the thunder started getting louder.
I rolled my eyes and stomped my foot, giving in to him. I unlocked the window and opened the window for him to crawl in.
He crawled in and soon engulfed me in a hug, "Thank you!"
"Thank my conscience," I mumbled, rolling my eyes as he got me all wet. Of course he would.
He let go and stared me straight in the eyes, "What's wrong?"
You.
"Nothing," I said, faking a smile. I walked away from him and over to my closet. I pulled out a box that said 'Old junk'.
I turned around and handed it to Jack. He smiled, nodding his head in thanks. He opened the lid and dumped the contents out onto my bed.
I turned back around and dug through my closet, looking for a pair of shorts and a v-neck shirt I could wear.
I found what I was looking for and walked over to my bed. I stripped myself of my wet clothes as Jack did the same.
I felt his eyes on me as I took off my shirt. I sighed and turned around, "No, Jack."
"Oh, c'mon! We're both practically naked here," He said, cocking his head to the side.
'Don't be a whore,' replayed over and over in my head.
"Please, Rae?"
I sighed, "Get out."
"What?" He asked in shock.
I pointed to my window, "Get out, Jack."
"Why?" He asked, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that I wanted him out.
"I can't be a whore anymore."
"But, Rachel..." He started to walk towards me.
I turned my back on him and held back the tears, "Just go..."
"But, it's raining out. I'm gonna get sick, Rae."
I sighed again, "Then sleep on the floor."
I tossed him two of my six pillows. Yeah, I know, I have a lot of pillows. I like my head to be well cushioned, thank you very much. I also handed him a blanket.
He sighed and shook his head, "I'm sleeping with you on this bed." He put the stuff back down on the bed.
"Fine, I'll sleep on the floor."
"Rachel, just share the fucking bed. I promise I won't do anything!"
Once again, I sighed and gave in to him. I climbed in the bed and he turned off the light that was on the nightstand next to his side of the bed.
"Goodnight, Rachel," He whispered softly as he crawled into bed next to me.
"Night," I sniffled, fighting back the tears. They stung like hell, threatening to break through. This is what it's come to. Me laying in the dark with my best friend sleeping next me, and me trying desperately not to cry.
Fuck life.
My conscience was getting full. Pretty soon, I wouldn't be able to keep all these secrets. I will feel so guilty that I will just...explode. Literally. Like, spontaneously combust in the middle of class.
"I hate Jack Barakat," I mumbled again, this time looking at a picture of him. A small smile broke through.
Fuck. Jack. Barakat.
Why must my life be so complicated?
I walked over to my bed and picked up the phone. My fingers dialed an all too familiar number.
I pressed the phone up against my head and waited for them to answer. I walked back over to my mirror where the picture of Jack was hanging.
"I hate Jack Barakat," I mumbled once again.
"You hate who?" A familiar voice asked.
"Oh shit, sorry, Patrick. Um..."
"It's okay. So, what's up with you in Maryland?" He asked.
"Oh, nothing...just hating boys. What's up with you in Illinois?" I shrugged even though he couldn't see me.
"We're just working on some new stuff. You're going to love it. Pete's got some lyrics and I'm working on the song aspect. It's amazing!" He began rambling.
I chuckled, "I'm definitely looking forward to hearing it, Trickers. But, when are you guys coming here?!"
"Oh, um, not for a while..."
"What the fuck, why not?" I pouted. Man, I wanted to meet the band behind the music that kept me going!
"Well, with the new stuff and everything, we don't have time to tour..."
"Patrick, I demand you come down to Maryland so I can meet the band," I said, throwing myself onto my bed. "Ow!"
"What?" He asked, a hint of concern in his voice.
"I landed on my...remote!" I yelled, pulling the remote out from under me. "Jack's dead. I told him not to leave this here..."
"Who the hell is Jack?" He finally asked. I was wondering when he was going to ask...
"Patrick, it's way complicated. I would tell you, but you'd be up for, like, six hours," I giggled lightly, shaking my head.
"Is he, like, your boyfriend or a friend?"
"Um, we're friends. And I have a boyfriend..."
"You're a whore," He said simply. It sounded like he took a bite of something.
"Patrick! You can't talk to your baby cousin like that!" I yelled. He had no right to call me that! ...Even if I was one.
"Well, if my baby cousin is acting like a whore, then yes, I can call her a whore," He laughed.
I rolled my eyes, "Y'know, if I was in Chicago right now, I would slap you."
"If you were in Chicago, you wouldn't be a whore."
"You can't prove that," I smirked. Why was I making all these faces when he couldn't see me?
He laughed and probably shook his head, "Rach, I have to go. Don't be whore."
I laughed, "Shut the hell up and go."
"Bye, Rach," He giggled.
I shook my head and pressed end. I threw the phone onto my floor and let out a long sigh.
The guys had band practice today and I wasn't planning on going. Kara was tutoring some kid, so obviously we wouldn't be hanging today. I wasn't going to be doing anything today...
Fuck, I needed more friends.
***
A tap at my window startled me.
I slowly got up from my bed, making sure that I marked the page I was on in my book. I looked out the window and saw Jack standing there on the roof.
Why he was standing on my roof and clinging to my window at 12:37 in the morning, I don't know.
I opened the window up just a crack, "What, Jack?"
"Let me in, it's cold! And it's about to pour!" He whined, desperately trying to get in.
I smirked and shut the window, locking it tightly. He just stood there, still clinging onto the windowsill.
His eyes went wide and his bottom lip poked out a little. He was giving me the puppy face.
"I hate Jack Barakat," I mumbled to myself, shutting my eyes tightly. "I hate Jack Barakat..."
"Rachel fuckin' Marie Woods, open this motherfucking window!" He shouted as a rumble of thunder rolled through the clouds.
Just ignore him and he will go away.
No, he won't. You know him better than that.
True, but he's got to learn somehow, right?
It's pouring and the poor boy is going to get a cold!
As I battled with my conscience, the thunder started getting louder.
I rolled my eyes and stomped my foot, giving in to him. I unlocked the window and opened the window for him to crawl in.
He crawled in and soon engulfed me in a hug, "Thank you!"
"Thank my conscience," I mumbled, rolling my eyes as he got me all wet. Of course he would.
He let go and stared me straight in the eyes, "What's wrong?"
You.
"Nothing," I said, faking a smile. I walked away from him and over to my closet. I pulled out a box that said 'Old junk'.
I turned around and handed it to Jack. He smiled, nodding his head in thanks. He opened the lid and dumped the contents out onto my bed.
I turned back around and dug through my closet, looking for a pair of shorts and a v-neck shirt I could wear.
I found what I was looking for and walked over to my bed. I stripped myself of my wet clothes as Jack did the same.
I felt his eyes on me as I took off my shirt. I sighed and turned around, "No, Jack."
"Oh, c'mon! We're both practically naked here," He said, cocking his head to the side.
'Don't be a whore,' replayed over and over in my head.
"Please, Rae?"
I sighed, "Get out."
"What?" He asked in shock.
I pointed to my window, "Get out, Jack."
"Why?" He asked, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that I wanted him out.
"I can't be a whore anymore."
"But, Rachel..." He started to walk towards me.
I turned my back on him and held back the tears, "Just go..."
"But, it's raining out. I'm gonna get sick, Rae."
I sighed again, "Then sleep on the floor."
I tossed him two of my six pillows. Yeah, I know, I have a lot of pillows. I like my head to be well cushioned, thank you very much. I also handed him a blanket.
He sighed and shook his head, "I'm sleeping with you on this bed." He put the stuff back down on the bed.
"Fine, I'll sleep on the floor."
"Rachel, just share the fucking bed. I promise I won't do anything!"
Once again, I sighed and gave in to him. I climbed in the bed and he turned off the light that was on the nightstand next to his side of the bed.
"Goodnight, Rachel," He whispered softly as he crawled into bed next to me.
"Night," I sniffled, fighting back the tears. They stung like hell, threatening to break through. This is what it's come to. Me laying in the dark with my best friend sleeping next me, and me trying desperately not to cry.
Fuck life.
♠ ♠ ♠
title credit:// make-up smeared eyes - automatic loveletter.dunDunDUN.
sljdksjgf i'm tired. and i have the worst headache ever, but i needed to post this. the idea hit me in the face after i posted the last chapter.
AND GUESS WUT, PATRICK'S IN THIS ONE. YAAAAAAY. :D
FOB will be appearing soon! It's just taking a while to get to them...<.<
ALSO, HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ III! <3
31 YEARS OLD, MAH GAWD.
:33333333333
anyways, thoughts? :)
x.