Sequel: Four Years ›
Status: Completed. Read the sequel "Four Years" :)
My Saving Grace
Remembering Sunday
Alex's POV
Why would Kara keep such a big thing from us? She didn't keep Rachel's pregnancy a secret, so what made her keep something so much bigger a secret? I just didn't get it.
I sighed and plucked at my guitar's strings again. Nothing was coming out like I wanted it to. I had had this fantastic idea, but it just wouldn't come out.
My mind flashed back to the last day Rachel and I spent as a couple. It was a Sunday...
Stop it, Alex.
I needed to stop thinking about her. Every time I thought of her, I hurt. Just knowing that I would never be able to hold her, touch her, hear her ever again drove me crazy.
I groaned and slammed my head back into my pillow. I stared up at my ceiling and thought of where Rae could've run to. Maybe she went to California. She was always talking about how she wanted to go there. No...she said she didn't like the heat too much. She would "only go there for a month, because she couldn't stand the heat".
Maybe she ran to Chicago. Ever since the day she moved to Maryland she had always complained about how she badly she wanted to move back. Plus, she had family there. Whether they were still there or not, I didn't know.
I wanted to go out and search for her. I wanted to find her, hold her, tell her I love her, and never let her go. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her beautiful, beautiful face. The way her hair fell across her eyes when she -
A knock at the door distracted me from my thoughts, only for a moment.
"Who is it?" I groaned, still staring up at my white, plain ceiling.
"It's Kara."
"Go away," I replied, turning on to my side. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to anyone, really.
"Open this fucking door before I break it down," Jack yelled on the other side. Great, he was here. Who the fuck else came to dig me deeper into depression?
"Jack, go the fuck away!" I shouted, throwing a pillow at the door even though they couldn't get hit with it.
Light slowly seeped into my room due to the door being opened. Great, Jack picked the lock. I told my mom I needed a new lock.
I suddenly felt someone jump onto my bed. Sure enough, Jack was standing over me, gripping the pillow that I had thrown at the door.
"Get the fuck up!" He yelled, smacking me with the pillow. He kept repeatedly smacking me in the head with the pillow, thinking that would make me get up. It only made me want to kill him more.
Finally fed up with his bullshit attempt at getting me out of bed, I grabbed his legs and pulled him forward, causing him to land on his back.
He laughed loudly and Kara just giggled from her spot at the door. She knew I was still pissed at her, that's why she was keeping her distance.
I grabbed a pillow and started hitting Jack with it, letting out all my anger on the poor guy.
"Alex, Alex, Alex!" Kara shouted, trying to get me to stop beating Jack.
"Bro, you need to loosen the fuck up," Jack said, scrambling to his feet to get away from me. "Zack's having a party right now, that's why we're here. We're taking you no matter what you say."
I sighed and threw the pillow back onto my bed, "Jack, I don't think - "
Before I knew it, I was slung over Jack's shoulder. For a skinny dude, he was really strong.
"Jack, put me down," I sighed as he walked out of my room with Kara following close behind.
"Nope."
I groaned loudly and rolled my eyes. I was going to party whether I liked it or not tonight.
***
I stumbled through Zack's house with a plastic red cup in hand. I had no idea what was in it. Jack had given it to me, so I'd be lucky if I made it out of here half-way decent tonight.
"Alex!" I heard someone giggle from behind me. I turned around and saw Lisa standing there, smiling.
I smiled, "Hey, Lis."
"Where have you been! I haven't see you in forever!" She giggled again. Her giggle was so adorable...
Wait, Alex, what were you doing?
"I've been...home," I replied before taking a sip of the concoction Jack had given me. Vodka, Red Bull...and possibly Coke was in this. Very interesting.
She nodded slowly, "Listen, I heard about - "
Someone bumped into me and I fell forward into Lisa, spilling my drink all over her shirt. I stared at her with wide eyes, "Oh my God, I am so sorry. Some douche bumped into me and oh my God - "
"Alex, Alex, it's okay! What's a little liquor gonna do?" She laughed.
"I still feel bad," I mumbled as I scratched the back of my neck.
"Let's go somewhere we can talk," She smiled at me as she grabbed my hand. She led me through the house to the back. She opened the back door and stepped outside, pulling me out with her.
I stumbled out the door and followed her to some chairs that were set up by the pool. I plopped down onto a chair and she sat down next to me.
"So, what'd you wanna talk about?" I asked, taking another sip of my drink. This was really fucking good. I had to find Jack to have him make me another.
"I dunno," She shrugged.
"Well, you said you wanted to talk," I said.
"What happened to Rachel? Weren't you two...a thing?" She asked, trying to make conversation. Terrible way to start one, if you ask me.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, "Can we...not?"
"Oh, oh, oh, I'm so sorry! I heard rumors, but I didn't think they were true! I'm really sorry, Alex," She said quickly. She did feel really bad, I could tell by the look in her eyes.
"S'okay," I smiled weakly at her. I came here to forget Rachel, and this happens. It's like Rachel was a ghost, haunting my every movement, thought. She was everywhere.
"Dammit!" Jack shouted as he ran across the lawn without his clothes.
"Uh, Jack..." I chuckled as Lisa covered her mouth to hide her growing smile.
"What up, bro!?" He slurred, running over to us. "Sup, Lisa?"
"Jack, put on some pants," I laughed, shaking my head as he just stared at me. "Really, I don't need to see your dick."
"You know you love it. Your girlfriend did," He smirked. He did not just say that. Lisa just looked at Jack, then at me, giving me a sympathetic look.
I downed the rest of my drink, then dropped the cup. I needed to get out of here before I did something stupid.
The backyard blurred as I stood up. I shut my eyes tightly as tears started to form in my eyes. Why the fuck was I about to cry? Maybe it was the alcohol plus Jack bringing up...her.
"Alex, where ya going?" Jack asked as I walked passed him.
"Home," I simply replied, not bothering to look back at him.
***
I slammed my bedroom door and fell to my knees. I couldn't even make it to my fucking bed, that's how pathetic I was.
On the walk home, I had way too much time to myself. I thought about that Sunday Rachel and I had spent together and all the times before we went out - when we were best friends - how should would always tell me love is just a word, until you find someone to give it meaning. I always asked about Jack, and if she loved him. She told me she "felt something" with him. She said she loved him. but I don't think she truly did.
I tried to be the one she really loved. I tried to be her first real, true love. I thought she loved me back, but I guess I thought wrong. She probably just said that to make me feel better about myself. Ever since Daniel...
No, Alex. Don't even go there.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked around my room. The guitar Rachel had given me was now resting against my bed. I stood up and walked over to my bed.
I sat down on my soft bed and grabbed my guitar. After checking to see if it was tuned properly, I started strumming. This sounded amazing so far. I just needed words to make it perfect...
I set down my guitar and grabbed my notebook off of the desk next to my bed. Thoughts flooded into my head. I had too many to put down. Maybe I should drink more often. I mean, thoughts were seriously pouring into my head faster than Jack had poured a round of Tequila for everyone at the party.
I took a pen off the desk and started scribbling down lyrics.
He woke up from dreaming, and put on his shoes
Started making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days...
I chewed on my pen cap and thought of more. Sunday.
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Tears filled my eyes as I continued to think of everything. I couldn't take it anymore. If I thought of Sunday/Rachel anymore, I think I would've exploded. I needed sleep. Badly.
Why would Kara keep such a big thing from us? She didn't keep Rachel's pregnancy a secret, so what made her keep something so much bigger a secret? I just didn't get it.
I sighed and plucked at my guitar's strings again. Nothing was coming out like I wanted it to. I had had this fantastic idea, but it just wouldn't come out.
My mind flashed back to the last day Rachel and I spent as a couple. It was a Sunday...
Stop it, Alex.
I needed to stop thinking about her. Every time I thought of her, I hurt. Just knowing that I would never be able to hold her, touch her, hear her ever again drove me crazy.
I groaned and slammed my head back into my pillow. I stared up at my ceiling and thought of where Rae could've run to. Maybe she went to California. She was always talking about how she wanted to go there. No...she said she didn't like the heat too much. She would "only go there for a month, because she couldn't stand the heat".
Maybe she ran to Chicago. Ever since the day she moved to Maryland she had always complained about how she badly she wanted to move back. Plus, she had family there. Whether they were still there or not, I didn't know.
I wanted to go out and search for her. I wanted to find her, hold her, tell her I love her, and never let her go. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her beautiful, beautiful face. The way her hair fell across her eyes when she -
A knock at the door distracted me from my thoughts, only for a moment.
"Who is it?" I groaned, still staring up at my white, plain ceiling.
"It's Kara."
"Go away," I replied, turning on to my side. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to anyone, really.
"Open this fucking door before I break it down," Jack yelled on the other side. Great, he was here. Who the fuck else came to dig me deeper into depression?
"Jack, go the fuck away!" I shouted, throwing a pillow at the door even though they couldn't get hit with it.
Light slowly seeped into my room due to the door being opened. Great, Jack picked the lock. I told my mom I needed a new lock.
I suddenly felt someone jump onto my bed. Sure enough, Jack was standing over me, gripping the pillow that I had thrown at the door.
"Get the fuck up!" He yelled, smacking me with the pillow. He kept repeatedly smacking me in the head with the pillow, thinking that would make me get up. It only made me want to kill him more.
Finally fed up with his bullshit attempt at getting me out of bed, I grabbed his legs and pulled him forward, causing him to land on his back.
He laughed loudly and Kara just giggled from her spot at the door. She knew I was still pissed at her, that's why she was keeping her distance.
I grabbed a pillow and started hitting Jack with it, letting out all my anger on the poor guy.
"Alex, Alex, Alex!" Kara shouted, trying to get me to stop beating Jack.
"Bro, you need to loosen the fuck up," Jack said, scrambling to his feet to get away from me. "Zack's having a party right now, that's why we're here. We're taking you no matter what you say."
I sighed and threw the pillow back onto my bed, "Jack, I don't think - "
Before I knew it, I was slung over Jack's shoulder. For a skinny dude, he was really strong.
"Jack, put me down," I sighed as he walked out of my room with Kara following close behind.
"Nope."
I groaned loudly and rolled my eyes. I was going to party whether I liked it or not tonight.
***
I stumbled through Zack's house with a plastic red cup in hand. I had no idea what was in it. Jack had given it to me, so I'd be lucky if I made it out of here half-way decent tonight.
"Alex!" I heard someone giggle from behind me. I turned around and saw Lisa standing there, smiling.
I smiled, "Hey, Lis."
"Where have you been! I haven't see you in forever!" She giggled again. Her giggle was so adorable...
Wait, Alex, what were you doing?
"I've been...home," I replied before taking a sip of the concoction Jack had given me. Vodka, Red Bull...and possibly Coke was in this. Very interesting.
She nodded slowly, "Listen, I heard about - "
Someone bumped into me and I fell forward into Lisa, spilling my drink all over her shirt. I stared at her with wide eyes, "Oh my God, I am so sorry. Some douche bumped into me and oh my God - "
"Alex, Alex, it's okay! What's a little liquor gonna do?" She laughed.
"I still feel bad," I mumbled as I scratched the back of my neck.
"Let's go somewhere we can talk," She smiled at me as she grabbed my hand. She led me through the house to the back. She opened the back door and stepped outside, pulling me out with her.
I stumbled out the door and followed her to some chairs that were set up by the pool. I plopped down onto a chair and she sat down next to me.
"So, what'd you wanna talk about?" I asked, taking another sip of my drink. This was really fucking good. I had to find Jack to have him make me another.
"I dunno," She shrugged.
"Well, you said you wanted to talk," I said.
"What happened to Rachel? Weren't you two...a thing?" She asked, trying to make conversation. Terrible way to start one, if you ask me.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, "Can we...not?"
"Oh, oh, oh, I'm so sorry! I heard rumors, but I didn't think they were true! I'm really sorry, Alex," She said quickly. She did feel really bad, I could tell by the look in her eyes.
"S'okay," I smiled weakly at her. I came here to forget Rachel, and this happens. It's like Rachel was a ghost, haunting my every movement, thought. She was everywhere.
"Dammit!" Jack shouted as he ran across the lawn without his clothes.
"Uh, Jack..." I chuckled as Lisa covered her mouth to hide her growing smile.
"What up, bro!?" He slurred, running over to us. "Sup, Lisa?"
"Jack, put on some pants," I laughed, shaking my head as he just stared at me. "Really, I don't need to see your dick."
"You know you love it. Your girlfriend did," He smirked. He did not just say that. Lisa just looked at Jack, then at me, giving me a sympathetic look.
I downed the rest of my drink, then dropped the cup. I needed to get out of here before I did something stupid.
The backyard blurred as I stood up. I shut my eyes tightly as tears started to form in my eyes. Why the fuck was I about to cry? Maybe it was the alcohol plus Jack bringing up...her.
"Alex, where ya going?" Jack asked as I walked passed him.
"Home," I simply replied, not bothering to look back at him.
***
I slammed my bedroom door and fell to my knees. I couldn't even make it to my fucking bed, that's how pathetic I was.
On the walk home, I had way too much time to myself. I thought about that Sunday Rachel and I had spent together and all the times before we went out - when we were best friends - how should would always tell me love is just a word, until you find someone to give it meaning. I always asked about Jack, and if she loved him. She told me she "felt something" with him. She said she loved him. but I don't think she truly did.
I tried to be the one she really loved. I tried to be her first real, true love. I thought she loved me back, but I guess I thought wrong. She probably just said that to make me feel better about myself. Ever since Daniel...
No, Alex. Don't even go there.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked around my room. The guitar Rachel had given me was now resting against my bed. I stood up and walked over to my bed.
I sat down on my soft bed and grabbed my guitar. After checking to see if it was tuned properly, I started strumming. This sounded amazing so far. I just needed words to make it perfect...
I set down my guitar and grabbed my notebook off of the desk next to my bed. Thoughts flooded into my head. I had too many to put down. Maybe I should drink more often. I mean, thoughts were seriously pouring into my head faster than Jack had poured a round of Tequila for everyone at the party.
I took a pen off the desk and started scribbling down lyrics.
He woke up from dreaming, and put on his shoes
Started making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days...
I chewed on my pen cap and thought of more. Sunday.
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Tears filled my eyes as I continued to think of everything. I couldn't take it anymore. If I thought of Sunday/Rachel anymore, I think I would've exploded. I needed sleep. Badly.
♠ ♠ ♠
title credit:// remembering sunday - all time low.(of course. haha.)
i've literally been stuck with this chapter for, like, a week. i couldn't think of ANYTHING to write. it was sad because i had pretty much all of rachel's chapters planned/written out, and then i was stuck with this one.
originally, this story was supposed to be all one point of view (rachel obv), but i was like I CAN'T DITCH ATL. D; so i have to start planning alex's out. but, i love writing his. idky, i just do.
so, remembering sunday has been on repeat for an hour. it obviously inspired this chapter. yaaaaaaaaaay.
but omg, guess what!? someone from my town is on the usa world cup team!!! onguchi onyewu. number fiveeee. :D he even went to my high school!! yeah, you can all now find out where i live/go to school. whatevs. but, it's awesome. i feel awesome. lmfao. :| :D :|
and, omg, i saw toy story 3, like, five days ago. I CRIED LIKE A LITTLE BABY. OMFG. on the way home, i was like WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. it was so sad. ;__________; and i'm tearing up just thinking about it. such a fantastic movie. <3
i'm tired and this has turned into senseless rambling. so i'm going to stop noooooowwwwwwwwww...NOW.
SO, THOUGHTS!?
x.