Sequel: Four Years ›
Status: Completed. Read the sequel "Four Years" :)
My Saving Grace
The More You Talk, The Less I Hear
Alex's POV
I sat on my bed with my notebook on my lap and my pen in hand. I hadn't left my room in three days. All I did was eat, sleep, and write my feelings down onto paper. I cried myself to sleep every night.
I was the reason Rachel left. That tore me up inside.
Jack didn't care anymore. All he did was get drunk, make out with some slut at some random party, and call me at 3AM to go pick his drunk ass up.
I reread the words I had just scribbled down, checking to see if they made any sense. Nothing I did anymore made sense...
Get me out of this place, before I cause more damage
A small price to pay for building houses out of matchsticks
And when things get too hot, you've got me to blame for
Every fire that breaks out in every lover's name
I sighed and shook my head at the notebook. This sucked. I ripped out the page I had been working on and crumpled it up, throwing it to the ground.
Someone knocked on my door before opening it slowly. A blonde head peeked in, looking around my room for me. Lisa... What was she doing here at 2:30 in the morning?
I smiled weakly at her as she walked over to my bed, "Hey, what're you doing here?"
"I'm worried about you, Alex," She said, giving me afake sympathetic look.
"Lisa, don't," I replied, shaking my head. "Can you please leave?"
"Alex, no. You've been alone for three days. Isn't that enough time?" She spoke softly. Her voice was so...soothing.
I shook my head again as tears started showing their ugly heads again, "She was my best friend..."
Lisa took a seat on my bed and grabbed my hand, "Alex, you've got to move on. She's gone. I really hate to say it, but, she's never coming back."
I whimpered at the sound of the last sentence. Rachel had to come back some day. She had to!
"I know it's hard, Alex," She whispered, rubbing my hand with her thumb.
"No, you don't. You have no fucking clue how it feels!" I shouted before I felt the tears start streaming down my face. I ripped my hand away from hers and wiped my face free of the salty liquid.
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help," She said, standing up. I heard something crumple under her feet. My lyrics.
She picked it up and uncrumpled it. I sat there silently while she read the words that had taken me hours to write.
"Alex, this is...amazing," She finally spoke. "You need to write more."
I looked at her sadly, "No, it sucks. Everything I do fucking sucks."
She shook her head slowly, "No. Everything you do, does not suck. You're an amazing guy, Alex. Rachel was too stupid to see that. She was stupid for running away from you. From...this."
Lisa hit a nerve. Rachel was stupid. I had done everything for her. I tried to show her what love felt like. Not some fake love. Real love. Love that came straight from my heart, not my head. Rachel was stupid for leaving that all behind. I don't think she'd ever be able to find that again.
Or, at least that's what I was going to tell myself.
I held my arms out for a hug. She quickly embraced me in her arms. I laid my head in the crook of her neck as she rubbed my back slowly. Lisa was going to be a great friend. I could already tell.
***
Rachel's POV
"Jess?" I asked quietly. I was sitting on her bed, trying to find out why she said me running here was fate.
"What?"
"Why did you say it was fate?"
She turned around, stopping what she was doing. She walked over to her bed and sat down, resting her back against the headboard.
She drew a deep breath in, "Well, Rae, Pete's...happier when you're around. I can just tell by the way he looks at you that he's super happy."
"We've only known each other for two days, though..." I spoke, looking down at my hands. I fiddled with the ring Alex gave me...
Tears filled my eyes. I missed them so much. So fucking much. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't. I needed to forget them. I didn't want to ruin Alex's chance of making it big. I didn't want to tie him down and make him feel obligated to stay and raise this baby with me.
"And that is why it's fate, Rachel," Jess said, giving me a look. "Now, go to bed. It's 1:30 in the morning and I want sleep. I'm sure Patrick wants it, too."
I laughed lightly, "Oh, yeah, Patrick..."
I got up and slowly walked out of her room. I smiled at Trick, who was asleep on the floor next to the door. That boy really could fall asleep anywhere.
I gently nudged him with my foot, causing him to open his eyes slowly.
"Morning, sleepy. You can go in and cuddle with Jess now," I smiled.
He slowly got up and walked into his room. He closed the door slowly.
I walked down the hall to my room and opened the door slowly. I saw Pete sitting on the bed with papers strewn all over.
I silently stood there and watched as he scribbled words onto a piece of paper. He scanned over his writing and groaned, obviously not pleased with the words written down.
He grabbed the paper and crumpled it up into a ball, throwing it into the trashcan next to the door.
His eyes flicked at me and he immediately started shoving the papers into a little black folder.
"Oh, he - hey, Rachel."
"Hey, Pete," I smiled, walking further into the room. I sat down on the bed, my eyes fixated on the little, black folder.
It had "Songs" scribbled on a piece of masking tape, taped to it.
"What are you doing up at...1:36?" He asked, glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to the bed.
"I was just talking to Jess," I sighed, laying down. "Why are you awake at this hour?"
"Insomnia," He said as if it was nothing.
I nodded, understanding completely, "That must seriously suck."
"Eh, it's not that bad. Ideas practically come to me around this time. Although, tonight, nothing's coming out right," He sighed.
"Well...maybe I can help? I offered, sitting up. I wanted to see what wasn't working. I wanted to see what flowed out of Pete's head at this hour.
He handed me the folder slowly, "The first paper is a song for the new CD."
"Really, what's it about?" I asked, not looking at him. I picked up the paper and started reading it.
You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
Now I only waste it dreaming of you
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And, oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
"It needs more..." Pete sighed, knowing I was done reading.
"What's it about? It's super good, by the way," I smiled, handing him the paper.
"It's not that great."
"Yes, it is, Pete," I giggled. "You're an amazing writer."
"Re - really?" He asked, kinda taken back by what I just said.
"Yeah. When I listen to Take This To Your Grave, and, believe it or not, Evening Out With Your Girlfriend, I feel like I know you," I said. I was finally talking to the genius behind my favorite songs. I couldn't believe it. I never thought I would be talking to him like this, especially since the way we acted towards each other when we first met.
He just smiled. Even though he wasn't saying anything, I knew he was happy. I knew he was thinking about his lyrics have touched so many people like me.
"Pete?"
"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at me.
"Go to sleep," I chuckled.
"Why?"
"I can't sleep when the light's on," I said, yawning. I fell back onto the pillows and curled into a little ball.
He chuckled and got up to turn off the light. The room went dark and I instantly fell asleep.
I sat on my bed with my notebook on my lap and my pen in hand. I hadn't left my room in three days. All I did was eat, sleep, and write my feelings down onto paper. I cried myself to sleep every night.
I was the reason Rachel left. That tore me up inside.
Jack didn't care anymore. All he did was get drunk, make out with some slut at some random party, and call me at 3AM to go pick his drunk ass up.
I reread the words I had just scribbled down, checking to see if they made any sense. Nothing I did anymore made sense...
Get me out of this place, before I cause more damage
A small price to pay for building houses out of matchsticks
And when things get too hot, you've got me to blame for
Every fire that breaks out in every lover's name
I sighed and shook my head at the notebook. This sucked. I ripped out the page I had been working on and crumpled it up, throwing it to the ground.
Someone knocked on my door before opening it slowly. A blonde head peeked in, looking around my room for me. Lisa... What was she doing here at 2:30 in the morning?
I smiled weakly at her as she walked over to my bed, "Hey, what're you doing here?"
"I'm worried about you, Alex," She said, giving me afake sympathetic look.
"Lisa, don't," I replied, shaking my head. "Can you please leave?"
"Alex, no. You've been alone for three days. Isn't that enough time?" She spoke softly. Her voice was so...soothing.
I shook my head again as tears started showing their ugly heads again, "She was my best friend..."
Lisa took a seat on my bed and grabbed my hand, "Alex, you've got to move on. She's gone. I really hate to say it, but, she's never coming back."
I whimpered at the sound of the last sentence. Rachel had to come back some day. She had to!
"I know it's hard, Alex," She whispered, rubbing my hand with her thumb.
"No, you don't. You have no fucking clue how it feels!" I shouted before I felt the tears start streaming down my face. I ripped my hand away from hers and wiped my face free of the salty liquid.
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help," She said, standing up. I heard something crumple under her feet. My lyrics.
She picked it up and uncrumpled it. I sat there silently while she read the words that had taken me hours to write.
"Alex, this is...amazing," She finally spoke. "You need to write more."
I looked at her sadly, "No, it sucks. Everything I do fucking sucks."
She shook her head slowly, "No. Everything you do, does not suck. You're an amazing guy, Alex. Rachel was too stupid to see that. She was stupid for running away from you. From...this."
Lisa hit a nerve. Rachel was stupid. I had done everything for her. I tried to show her what love felt like. Not some fake love. Real love. Love that came straight from my heart, not my head. Rachel was stupid for leaving that all behind. I don't think she'd ever be able to find that again.
Or, at least that's what I was going to tell myself.
I held my arms out for a hug. She quickly embraced me in her arms. I laid my head in the crook of her neck as she rubbed my back slowly. Lisa was going to be a great friend. I could already tell.
***
Rachel's POV
"Jess?" I asked quietly. I was sitting on her bed, trying to find out why she said me running here was fate.
"What?"
"Why did you say it was fate?"
She turned around, stopping what she was doing. She walked over to her bed and sat down, resting her back against the headboard.
She drew a deep breath in, "Well, Rae, Pete's...happier when you're around. I can just tell by the way he looks at you that he's super happy."
"We've only known each other for two days, though..." I spoke, looking down at my hands. I fiddled with the ring Alex gave me...
Tears filled my eyes. I missed them so much. So fucking much. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't. I needed to forget them. I didn't want to ruin Alex's chance of making it big. I didn't want to tie him down and make him feel obligated to stay and raise this baby with me.
"And that is why it's fate, Rachel," Jess said, giving me a look. "Now, go to bed. It's 1:30 in the morning and I want sleep. I'm sure Patrick wants it, too."
I laughed lightly, "Oh, yeah, Patrick..."
I got up and slowly walked out of her room. I smiled at Trick, who was asleep on the floor next to the door. That boy really could fall asleep anywhere.
I gently nudged him with my foot, causing him to open his eyes slowly.
"Morning, sleepy. You can go in and cuddle with Jess now," I smiled.
He slowly got up and walked into his room. He closed the door slowly.
I walked down the hall to my room and opened the door slowly. I saw Pete sitting on the bed with papers strewn all over.
I silently stood there and watched as he scribbled words onto a piece of paper. He scanned over his writing and groaned, obviously not pleased with the words written down.
He grabbed the paper and crumpled it up into a ball, throwing it into the trashcan next to the door.
His eyes flicked at me and he immediately started shoving the papers into a little black folder.
"Oh, he - hey, Rachel."
"Hey, Pete," I smiled, walking further into the room. I sat down on the bed, my eyes fixated on the little, black folder.
It had "Songs" scribbled on a piece of masking tape, taped to it.
"What are you doing up at...1:36?" He asked, glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to the bed.
"I was just talking to Jess," I sighed, laying down. "Why are you awake at this hour?"
"Insomnia," He said as if it was nothing.
I nodded, understanding completely, "That must seriously suck."
"Eh, it's not that bad. Ideas practically come to me around this time. Although, tonight, nothing's coming out right," He sighed.
"Well...maybe I can help? I offered, sitting up. I wanted to see what wasn't working. I wanted to see what flowed out of Pete's head at this hour.
He handed me the folder slowly, "The first paper is a song for the new CD."
"Really, what's it about?" I asked, not looking at him. I picked up the paper and started reading it.
You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
Now I only waste it dreaming of you
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And, oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
"It needs more..." Pete sighed, knowing I was done reading.
"What's it about? It's super good, by the way," I smiled, handing him the paper.
"It's not that great."
"Yes, it is, Pete," I giggled. "You're an amazing writer."
"Re - really?" He asked, kinda taken back by what I just said.
"Yeah. When I listen to Take This To Your Grave, and, believe it or not, Evening Out With Your Girlfriend, I feel like I know you," I said. I was finally talking to the genius behind my favorite songs. I couldn't believe it. I never thought I would be talking to him like this, especially since the way we acted towards each other when we first met.
He just smiled. Even though he wasn't saying anything, I knew he was happy. I knew he was thinking about his lyrics have touched so many people like me.
"Pete?"
"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at me.
"Go to sleep," I chuckled.
"Why?"
"I can't sleep when the light's on," I said, yawning. I fell back onto the pillows and curled into a little ball.
He chuckled and got up to turn off the light. The room went dark and I instantly fell asleep.
♠ ♠ ♠
title credit:// the more you talk, the less i hear - armor for sleep. <3this song has been on repeat for an hour. so amazing.
the usa was beat by ghana. i cried. i wanted to see us go further. :/
now, all my hope is on germany! they better win tomorrow, or today, if you wanna get technical.
so, it's 2:15 right now, as i'm typing this. i'm tired as hell. my day's been super rough. :///
and, rach & alex are supposed to be up at the same time. like, it's happening to both of them at the same time. chicago's just an hour behind. blahblahblah, i'm explaining something you all probably get. i just need to explain it for myself later. :| (yes, i always reread my work to see if it's good enough. :|||||||||)
thoughts on this dual pov chapter? :)
goodnight. x.