Sequel: Four Years ›
Status: Completed. Read the sequel "Four Years" :)
My Saving Grace
The Last Something That Meant Anything
My stomach dropped and my heartbeat picked up. I stopped walking and just stood there, a stupid look was probably spread across my face, “W – What?”
“Are you being serious right now?” Kara asked, turning around and looking at me as if I was the stupidest person ever.
“Are you?” I asked with wide eyes.
“Yes. He said he likes someone gorgeous. Girl, you’re beyond gorgeous. He said she’s got the most amazing eyes. Your eyes are amazing. He said she’s nice. You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. And, he said she’s a great photographer. As I said before, you’re photos are amazing.” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I mean, I guess it was obvious. But, why didn’t he ask me out? He should’ve known I would’ve said yes.
Wait, “I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had” rang throughout my head.
“Us dating would not have ruined our friendship!” I groaned. I instantly covered my mouth after realizing what I just said.
“Um…what?”
“Earlier I asked Jack why he didn’t ask me – that sounds so weird – out before. He said it’s because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had…” I spoke quietly. “Dammit, what if he was going to ask me to prom?”
“Rae, I’m sorry. Alex was really upset at seeing you so upset. And he’s liked you since the day he met you. I was just trying to – ”
“It’s okay…I just feel so bad. I should’ve known Jack liked me. I mean, why else would he constantly stare at me? Why else would he totally ignore me when he gets a girlfriend? Why else would he never want me leaving in the middle of the night…?” I started ranting to myself. “God, I’m so stupid!”
“You’re not stupid, Rachel. It’s Jack’s fault. Whenever you two get really close, he pulls away and goes out with another girl. Therefore, it is not your fault.”
“I gotta go,” I took off running. I didn’t know where I was gonna go, but I was gonna go somewhere.
“Wait! What about your stuff?!” Kara yelled.
“Leave it in your car!” I yelled, not even bothering to look back.
I ran to where Alex asked me to prom. At least I could sit and think about things there. It would be nice and quiet. And it wasn’t that far from here.
***
I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. It was so relaxing up here. I sat down and took off my flats. My feet were killing me because running in these shoes = not fun.
I laid back and stared at the clear, blue sky. It was beautiful. Not a cloud in sight.
As happy as I was here, my mind trailed back to a not-so-happy thought – Jack being in love with me while I’m dating his best friend.
I wanted to punch myself for just ruining my peaceful, quiet time. But I just couldn’t help to think of it.
Kara’s words played themselves over and over in my head, “It’s you.”
I have been told I’m pretty numerous times, but I’ve never been called gorgeous. I have been told that my eyes are nice, but I’ve never heard that my eyes are amazing. I have been told that I’m friendly, but I’ve never been told that everyone loved me because of how nice I was. I have been told by so many people that my photos are good, but I’ve never been told they were amazing and that I should be a pro.
Why did Jack describe me ten times better than I actually am? Maybe it was love. Maybe he did love me.
Maybe it wasn’t me. I mean, I’m sure there are girls in school who fit that description of his. Like…
I tried thinking of someone, but no one’s name came to mind. Was it because no one actually did fit that description? Or was it because I was just having a bad day and can’t think straight?
Why was my brain over analyzing this? Jack loves me.
Jack loves me.
I groaned, placing my arms over my head, “Life is complicated.”
“Tell me about it.”
I shot straight up, turning to see Jack sitting down next to me, “H – How did you find me?”
“Kara called me and told me you’d probably be here. She wanted me to talk to you,” He shrugged. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, putting his head on his right knee.
“Jack, am I…am I the girl that you described?” I quickly spoke, shutting my eyes. I was afraid of the response and I had no idea why.
“Uh, ye – yeah…” He slowly mumbled out.
I opened my eyes and saw him with his head now resting on his arms, facing down. I moved closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, “Good. Because if it was any other girl, I’d beat the shit out of her for being a dumbass.”
He picked his head up and chuckled lightly, “So…”
“So…I’m gonna keep dating Alex,” I stated, standing up. I brushed myself off and picked up my flats, beginning to walk away.
“What? Why?” He said, scrambling to his feet.
“Because, he’s so sweet to me. He treats me how I should be treated,” I said, smiling. Just thinking of Alex made me happy.
“But I – ”
“You were a jerk, Jack. You treated me like…like a little toy. You threw me around like a ragdoll. You brought me in and kicked me out. You built me up and broke me down. You drove me – ” I was suddenly cut off by Jack pressing his soft lips against mine. My eyes fluttered shut. What was my brain doing? Why was it telling me to feel like…this?
I wanted to pull away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The kiss wasn’t sloppy and lust filled like they usually were. This kiss was filled with love. It was gentle. It was like he really did love me.
Jack finally pulled away, “Rae, I’m sorry.”
I stared at him, my mind still clouded, “For what?”
“For being a jerk. I just didn’t want you to fall in love with me because – ”
“You didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I know. But Jack, you’ll always be my best friend. No matter what,” I sighed.
“I wish I had known that two years ago,” He mumbled looking down at his shoes.
What? Two years ago? Two years ago…when we first started sleeping together.
I sighed, “You should’ve taken a risk, Jack.”
He looked up at me, “Well…”
I was soon met with his soft lips on mine once again. My stomach twisted into knots. It’s amazing he still had this effect on me.
Alex’s face popped into my head and I instantly ripped myself away from Jack, “I – I ca – can’t d – do this Jack…” I stuttered out. I hated my conscience. I really did. Jack and I were having a great moment and it had to ruin it.
“But Rachel…” He began, staring at me with sad eyes. I hated those eyes. Those eyes tricked me into doing so many things I didn’t want to do.
“I’m sorry, Jack,” I said, shaking my head. I turned to walk away when he grabbed my arm. “Jack, let go.”
“One more time,” He pleaded.
“But Jack…”
“Please!” He begged. “I want you. It’s been fucking torture these past two weeks!”
My eyes went wide, “I thought – ”
“None of those girls fill the void,” He said, shaking his head.
I chuckled lightly. Wow, I didn’t know he needed me this badly. “Jack, I can’t do it. I would feel so bad.”
“Puh–lease!” He kept begging. I felt like if I didn’t say ‘ok’ he would get down on his knees and beg.
I groaned, giving in. God, I was gonna hate myself for this in the morning.
He smiled victoriously and ran down the hill. I was following close behind. He glanced around, checking to see if anyone was around. He quickly darted across the little parking lot and got into his car. I casually followed.
He motioned for me to hurry up, opening my door for me.
I got in the car and he quickly sped off, “Whoa, calm your dick!”
He laughed lightly, keeping his eyes on the road, “Sorry.”
“Jack, I can’t be that good in bed,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“But you are,” He smirked. My heart fluttered seeing that smirk. I missed it, honestly. There was just something about Jack that was so…so…irresistible. “Are your parents home?”
“Um, I think so…” I shrugged.
He groaned, “Mine are home. And your Dad hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
He looked at me with a straight face, “Yes he does.”
“He just doesn’t trust you with me. He thinks you’re going to steal my innocence.”
“Too late,” He laughed, causing me to laugh. “Fuck it. I’m going to my house.”
“Good, your mommy likes me,” I giggled.
He made a sharp left turn and sped down the little two lane road. His fingers tapped out a familiar beat on the steering wheel and I quickly picked up on it, tapping the beat out with my feet.
Soon, we were singing as loud as we could, “Please take me home! Too late, it's gone! I bet you're sad! This is the best time we ever had!”
Jack pulled into his driveway and cut the engine, laughing as he did so. He quickly got out of the car and ran over to my side, opening my door for me.
I smiled at him and got out, grabbing my flats, “Thanks, duder.”
“Mhmm,” He smiled, grabbing my hand. He led me to the front door, “Shuuush…”
He opened the door slowly and quietly shuffled inside. He let go of my hand and motioned for me to go up to his room. I did as he wanted me to do and took the familiar path to his room.
I walked into his room. It hadn’t changed since I was last in here. It was still messy, but when was it not messy? The screen was still sitting on the floor where I had put it. Wow.
I heard the door slam shut and I instantly spun around. I smiled as Jack approached me, “Why haven’t you moved the screen?”
“What?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“That screen,” I said, pointing to it. “Why haven’t you put it back? I left it there about three weeks ago.”
“Oh, I didn’t even know it was there,” He said waving it off.
“Did you lock the door?” I asked, sitting on his bed.
He nodded before tackling me to the bed, pinning my hands above my head. His lips feverishly attacked mine. The sweet, simple kiss was gone. That side of Jack was gone. Now it was the lust andneed want of me controlling him.
“Are you being serious right now?” Kara asked, turning around and looking at me as if I was the stupidest person ever.
“Are you?” I asked with wide eyes.
“Yes. He said he likes someone gorgeous. Girl, you’re beyond gorgeous. He said she’s got the most amazing eyes. Your eyes are amazing. He said she’s nice. You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. And, he said she’s a great photographer. As I said before, you’re photos are amazing.” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I mean, I guess it was obvious. But, why didn’t he ask me out? He should’ve known I would’ve said yes.
Wait, “I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had” rang throughout my head.
“Us dating would not have ruined our friendship!” I groaned. I instantly covered my mouth after realizing what I just said.
“Um…what?”
“Earlier I asked Jack why he didn’t ask me – that sounds so weird – out before. He said it’s because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had…” I spoke quietly. “Dammit, what if he was going to ask me to prom?”
“Rae, I’m sorry. Alex was really upset at seeing you so upset. And he’s liked you since the day he met you. I was just trying to – ”
“It’s okay…I just feel so bad. I should’ve known Jack liked me. I mean, why else would he constantly stare at me? Why else would he totally ignore me when he gets a girlfriend? Why else would he never want me leaving in the middle of the night…?” I started ranting to myself. “God, I’m so stupid!”
“You’re not stupid, Rachel. It’s Jack’s fault. Whenever you two get really close, he pulls away and goes out with another girl. Therefore, it is not your fault.”
“I gotta go,” I took off running. I didn’t know where I was gonna go, but I was gonna go somewhere.
“Wait! What about your stuff?!” Kara yelled.
“Leave it in your car!” I yelled, not even bothering to look back.
I ran to where Alex asked me to prom. At least I could sit and think about things there. It would be nice and quiet. And it wasn’t that far from here.
***
I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. It was so relaxing up here. I sat down and took off my flats. My feet were killing me because running in these shoes = not fun.
I laid back and stared at the clear, blue sky. It was beautiful. Not a cloud in sight.
As happy as I was here, my mind trailed back to a not-so-happy thought – Jack being in love with me while I’m dating his best friend.
I wanted to punch myself for just ruining my peaceful, quiet time. But I just couldn’t help to think of it.
Kara’s words played themselves over and over in my head, “It’s you.”
I have been told I’m pretty numerous times, but I’ve never been called gorgeous. I have been told that my eyes are nice, but I’ve never heard that my eyes are amazing. I have been told that I’m friendly, but I’ve never been told that everyone loved me because of how nice I was. I have been told by so many people that my photos are good, but I’ve never been told they were amazing and that I should be a pro.
Why did Jack describe me ten times better than I actually am? Maybe it was love. Maybe he did love me.
Maybe it wasn’t me. I mean, I’m sure there are girls in school who fit that description of his. Like…
I tried thinking of someone, but no one’s name came to mind. Was it because no one actually did fit that description? Or was it because I was just having a bad day and can’t think straight?
Why was my brain over analyzing this? Jack loves me.
Jack loves me.
I groaned, placing my arms over my head, “Life is complicated.”
“Tell me about it.”
I shot straight up, turning to see Jack sitting down next to me, “H – How did you find me?”
“Kara called me and told me you’d probably be here. She wanted me to talk to you,” He shrugged. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, putting his head on his right knee.
“Jack, am I…am I the girl that you described?” I quickly spoke, shutting my eyes. I was afraid of the response and I had no idea why.
“Uh, ye – yeah…” He slowly mumbled out.
I opened my eyes and saw him with his head now resting on his arms, facing down. I moved closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, “Good. Because if it was any other girl, I’d beat the shit out of her for being a dumbass.”
He picked his head up and chuckled lightly, “So…”
“So…I’m gonna keep dating Alex,” I stated, standing up. I brushed myself off and picked up my flats, beginning to walk away.
“What? Why?” He said, scrambling to his feet.
“Because, he’s so sweet to me. He treats me how I should be treated,” I said, smiling. Just thinking of Alex made me happy.
“But I – ”
“You were a jerk, Jack. You treated me like…like a little toy. You threw me around like a ragdoll. You brought me in and kicked me out. You built me up and broke me down. You drove me – ” I was suddenly cut off by Jack pressing his soft lips against mine. My eyes fluttered shut. What was my brain doing? Why was it telling me to feel like…this?
I wanted to pull away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The kiss wasn’t sloppy and lust filled like they usually were. This kiss was filled with love. It was gentle. It was like he really did love me.
Jack finally pulled away, “Rae, I’m sorry.”
I stared at him, my mind still clouded, “For what?”
“For being a jerk. I just didn’t want you to fall in love with me because – ”
“You didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I know. But Jack, you’ll always be my best friend. No matter what,” I sighed.
“I wish I had known that two years ago,” He mumbled looking down at his shoes.
What? Two years ago? Two years ago…when we first started sleeping together.
I sighed, “You should’ve taken a risk, Jack.”
He looked up at me, “Well…”
I was soon met with his soft lips on mine once again. My stomach twisted into knots. It’s amazing he still had this effect on me.
Alex’s face popped into my head and I instantly ripped myself away from Jack, “I – I ca – can’t d – do this Jack…” I stuttered out. I hated my conscience. I really did. Jack and I were having a great moment and it had to ruin it.
“But Rachel…” He began, staring at me with sad eyes. I hated those eyes. Those eyes tricked me into doing so many things I didn’t want to do.
“I’m sorry, Jack,” I said, shaking my head. I turned to walk away when he grabbed my arm. “Jack, let go.”
“One more time,” He pleaded.
“But Jack…”
“Please!” He begged. “I want you. It’s been fucking torture these past two weeks!”
My eyes went wide, “I thought – ”
“None of those girls fill the void,” He said, shaking his head.
I chuckled lightly. Wow, I didn’t know he needed me this badly. “Jack, I can’t do it. I would feel so bad.”
“Puh–lease!” He kept begging. I felt like if I didn’t say ‘ok’ he would get down on his knees and beg.
I groaned, giving in. God, I was gonna hate myself for this in the morning.
He smiled victoriously and ran down the hill. I was following close behind. He glanced around, checking to see if anyone was around. He quickly darted across the little parking lot and got into his car. I casually followed.
He motioned for me to hurry up, opening my door for me.
I got in the car and he quickly sped off, “Whoa, calm your dick!”
He laughed lightly, keeping his eyes on the road, “Sorry.”
“Jack, I can’t be that good in bed,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“But you are,” He smirked. My heart fluttered seeing that smirk. I missed it, honestly. There was just something about Jack that was so…so…irresistible. “Are your parents home?”
“Um, I think so…” I shrugged.
He groaned, “Mine are home. And your Dad hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
He looked at me with a straight face, “Yes he does.”
“He just doesn’t trust you with me. He thinks you’re going to steal my innocence.”
“Too late,” He laughed, causing me to laugh. “Fuck it. I’m going to my house.”
“Good, your mommy likes me,” I giggled.
He made a sharp left turn and sped down the little two lane road. His fingers tapped out a familiar beat on the steering wheel and I quickly picked up on it, tapping the beat out with my feet.
Soon, we were singing as loud as we could, “Please take me home! Too late, it's gone! I bet you're sad! This is the best time we ever had!”
Jack pulled into his driveway and cut the engine, laughing as he did so. He quickly got out of the car and ran over to my side, opening my door for me.
I smiled at him and got out, grabbing my flats, “Thanks, duder.”
“Mhmm,” He smiled, grabbing my hand. He led me to the front door, “Shuuush…”
He opened the door slowly and quietly shuffled inside. He let go of my hand and motioned for me to go up to his room. I did as he wanted me to do and took the familiar path to his room.
I walked into his room. It hadn’t changed since I was last in here. It was still messy, but when was it not messy? The screen was still sitting on the floor where I had put it. Wow.
I heard the door slam shut and I instantly spun around. I smiled as Jack approached me, “Why haven’t you moved the screen?”
“What?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“That screen,” I said, pointing to it. “Why haven’t you put it back? I left it there about three weeks ago.”
“Oh, I didn’t even know it was there,” He said waving it off.
“Did you lock the door?” I asked, sitting on his bed.
He nodded before tackling me to the bed, pinning my hands above my head. His lips feverishly attacked mine. The sweet, simple kiss was gone. That side of Jack was gone. Now it was the lust andneed want of me controlling him.
♠ ♠ ♠
title credit://the last something that meant anything - mayday paradeholy SHI -
hi. :) sorry this is suck-ish. i'm tired and meh.
enjoi. ;)
so, thoughts?
x.