I Only Had Eyes For You

June 14, 2010

You were all I could think about again. I hated when I got like this over a guy. I started texting you all the time again. Sometimes you would answer, sometimes you wouldn’t. I hated when you didn’t answer. Most of the time because I knew it wasn’t because you were busy or at work, you just didn’t want to talk to me.

My friend Amber started talking to me about the fall and how she was going to school in Fort Dodge at Iowa Central. She didn’t want to live in the dorms, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to afford an apartment by herself.

Myself, I wanted to get out of Estherville. It sucked here and all my friends were leaving. I told her if I could find a job, I would move there with her. Not that I wanted to live in Fort Dodge, exactly, but having your own apartment even in a place you didn’t like was better than living with your parents in a place you didn’t like.

Time started going by very quickly. Amber had told me she was moving in on August 15th, to whichever place she found. That gave me roughly two months to find a job or I wouldn’t be moving. Either that or just moving in later than her.

I still wanted to move down there, even if I had to stay up in Estherville longer to work to pay my half of the rent while I looked for a job there.

Since I acted like I was moving, I started hanging out with friends I hadn’t seen in a while or didn’t hang out with very often in order to say goodbye.

I tried texting you, to see if you wanted to hang out one night since I would be leaving, but you were always too tired, or were busy. I never believed your excuses, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

I was thinking less and less of you as the days went on and more and more about moving. I had told my boss at work already that if I found a job, I would be moving on August 15th, so I would need that day off.

My life had become pretty boring. I would go to work, sometimes go hang out with Mike or Allison and I’d spend the rest of the time on my computer. Usually doing something to try and get the attention of a cute guy. It hardly ever worked, but I could at least say that I tried.
Well, I suppose you could say I was leading a rather boring life. Well it sure didn’t last very long.

I had gotten a call from Wal-Mart in Fort Dodge. They wanted to give me an interview. Since they were the first people to have called me back about an application I put in, I said sure. I stayed up all night, since I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep even if I tried. I was too nervous for it. Which really, I don’t see why. I’m usually pretty good at giving an interview.

I knew there was the possibility of me falling asleep while driving, so I took a pill I got from Mike that would make me stay awake. I didn’t have very many of them, so I savored them. They not only helped me stay awake, but increased my concentration. Basically they furthered my OCD.

I got to my interview early and I waited for them to call me in for it. When I got there, I was told that there were two parts to the interview, and that normally they would be on different days, but I would have them both today because I lived out of town.

I thought I had done pretty well in the interview. I was told if I passed my background check and a drug test, I would have the job if I wanted it. Of course I wanted it. If I got it, that meant I could move out.

Before I left town that day, I had to go to the clinic where they administered the test. I took it and then all I had left to do was wait.

I drove home and texted Mike and a few of my other friends. To celebrate my success of possibly getting the job, he invited me over. We hung out and as I was getting ready to go home, I agreed to take Mark to the gas station to get cigarettes. I was driving a little too fast over the bridge when I got pulled over and shit hit the fan.

The officer asked for my license and registration, which I gave to him. My eyes looked bloodshot so he asked me to get out of the car.

Long story short, I went to jail that night for possessing prescription pills and for being high. Although, I never got tested for marijuana, so technically, they couldn’t prove I was. I also got a speeding ticket and a ticket or being a minor in possession of alcohol. The alcohol wasn’t mine, but since it was in my car at the time, it was considered to be.

It was this that made me realize how much these people weren’t good for me. I had gotten in trouble from them so many times already. It was almost a relief when they refused to talk to me again. At first it bothered me, but I knew it was for my own good.

About a week or so later, I got another call from Wal-Mart. I had passed my background and drug test, so I had orientation on the 14th of August.

Finding out I had the job made me extremely happy. I was ready to get out of this town and start a new life. A life where no one knew me.