‹ Prequel: You're Not Alone.
Status: Active
Me or the Music?
32
Marie's POV
Two months later
I had gotten my own beach house in Huntington, I had finally passed the stress tests to not need my heart medication. So I technically didn't need Bax any more, but they wanted me to keep him just in case. I couldn't complain, life wouldn't be the same without him. I had stayed sober, not even a lick of alcohol, for the entire two months.
I hadn't gone out of my way to speak to Matt the whole time, I'd seen him once or twice when I went to go pick up Hannah or Jackie to hang out, if he was at one of their houses. I was back working in LA, but this time as a receptionist for a modelling agency. I had stopped talking to Sasha and Joslin, I didn't need that stumbling block any longer.
The back door to my house opened up to the beach just like I had always wanted. Always. It was so weird being alone so often, but I loved it. It was peaceful. Since Matt and I hadn't talked, neither of us had figured out the whole divorce process yet. Technically, the paperwork was still valid, but sitting on my kitchen table waiting for me to get it to him somehow... I glanced down at my bare ring finger, I had taken my ring off the first night I spent at Zack and Hannah's.
I knew we weren't getting back together, frankly I didn't want to. I never wanted to feel unsafe with someone, or feel like I was a second. I understood that love he would always have for Corinne, the same I would always have for Eric. But I would never let that come between myself and the love in my heart for Matt. I knew Eric wanted me happy, and happy was with Matt.
But, that wasn't my reality lately. Happy was healthy, sober, alone, single, and here. In this house that I wouldn't give up for anything. I had dyed my hair a lighter shade of brown, nothing too drastic, and I decided that I needed to give up dressing like I gave a fuck what people thought. Which meant my entire wardrobe had undergone surgery. It as nice, refreshing.
I guess just like my whole life had been. I grabbed my phone from the end table beside me, my feet kicked up on the porch railing behind my house, watching the sun begin to poke above the skyline behind my house.
I clicked on Hannah's name and let it ring. "Hey baby!" She answered "Whatcha doing up so early on a Saturday?"
I looked at the time, it was only seven in the morning, but she was an early riser.
"Oh y'know, just enjoying the porch." I smiled as she laughed "What are you and fuckboy doing today?"
"Oh fuckboy!" She called for Zack. She asked what his plans were and returned to the phone "Not much, he said he's going over..."
"Matt's." I laughed.
"Yah, that thing's house. For a bit this morning to grab a demo from him, but then he's going up to Sacramento to drop it off at some guys house I guess... Wanna go for a ride?" She asked.
"I mean, sure, I have nothing else going on. Barb isn't on my ass about any emails yet so why not." I laughed, referencing my new boss, who was a lovely lady, but very... particular.
"Ok, we'll pick you up around ten? He's gonna go wake the beast now. See you soon love!"
"See you!" I smiled and hung up, I loved the fact that Hannah kept in touch.
Don't get me wrong, Jackie and I kept in touch, but I think she felt a little more on edge about it because Matt did tend to be over there more often than Zack's. She didn't want him there, but Brian had set the rule down, which didn't make her happy.
I ran upstairs to take a shower and get dressed, Hannah's ten was a reality check of nine, usually. I quickly washed my hair, and shaved. I bolted to my room as I heard the front door open, followed by Hannah's voice. I threw on some tight jeans, a cropped top, and some black pumps.
"Hey!" I smiled as I ran down the stairs skillfully in the heels.
"I still don't understand how those are normal shoes for you." Hannah shook her head, looking down at the glossy black pumps on my feet.
"I mean..." I laughed "It's easy."
"You look like a prostitute." Zack laughed "Also, Matt wasn't awakw to answer the door so we came here first."
"Oh." I answered quickly "Well ok. Lemme just grab my purse and I'll be all set to head off." I smiled, walking to the closet, feeling somewhat worried about going to the old house. I sighed and followed Hannah to Zack's SUV, climbing in to the back seat.
"So I'll run in quick, grab the demos, and we can shoot out. Ok?" Zack asked as we traveled the short distance down the road. None of us lived far from eachother, it just made hanging out easier. Also those late nights when I needed someone to come stay with me when I heard something outside, it made it easy.
"That's fine." I shrugged "I don't mind."
"Ok, now hopefully he's awake this time.." Zack mumbled as he got out of the car and started banging on the front door. He was probably pounding on the door for a solid three minutes before I got tired of it.
"Where are you going?" Han asked from the front seat.
"To get the spare key for him." I laughed and climbed out of the car, clicking my heels over to the front door.
"Marie get back in the car." Zack pointed to the car but I shook him off.
"The spare key is around here." I pointed to the steps "It's always in some dumb spot so he can find it drunk."
I bent down and began looking under the rocks set on the stairs. "Ah, found-"
"What the fuck, Za-... Oh, wow..." I heard Matt's surprised voice as he paused, opening the front door.
"Oh hi." Zack gently pushed at my side "Go to the car."
I stood up and smiled, pushing hair from my face "Sorry, figured I could help... make noise to wake you up." I laughed nervously as Matt's eyes scanned my body, making me suddenly conscious of the cleavage showing and the fact my entire mid-drift was showing.
"Well, the spare key isn't out here anymore, so that wouldn't have helped." He leaned against the doorway "Why are you even here early?"
Zack shrugged "Oh y'know, those demos I'm bringing to Sacramento." He eyed Matt with a glare as I walked back to the car, swinging my hips ever so slightly.
Matt's POV
"What the fuck, Za-... Oh, wow..." I opened the door to find Zack standing next to a very bent over Marie. My eyes focused on her ass, as she quickly turned to face me, her cleavage showing from beneath her small shirt, if you considered it that.
"Oh hi." Zack pushed at her hip and told her to go to the car, but she stood. Rambling on nervously about something.
"The spare key isn't out here anymore, so that wouldn't have helped." I leaned on the doorway, "Why are you even here early?" I asked Zack, my eyes scanned Marie's body again, she looked... amazing. Her smile was so wide and bright.
Zack answered me as she began walking to the car where Hannah was sitting, her hips swaying with each step. I felt my face redden.
"Hello?" Zack waved in my face "Demos."
"Oh, right." I nodded and walked back in to the house, Zack following "You guys making it an adventure?" I asked.
"Maybe, why?" He asked back, waiting for me to pull the discs from my computer.
"Just asking." I shrugged and turned to him "So how is she?"
"Fine, Matt she's fine. Now give me the demos so I can bring them up." He held his hand out, no one had really forgiven me for what happened. Especially Jackie though, I swear to God every time I stepped foot in that house she prayed the whole time I would be struck by lightening.
"Here." I handed them to him "Just... Zack," I caught his eye as he began for the door "Keep her safe?"
"Safer than you did." He glared me down and walked out, making me hate myself more than I already did.
I had quit drinking, given up going to the studio and moping about Corinne like I still had been doing. I needed to move on, and even if it wasn't with Marie, or anyone for that matter. I needed to live. I had started golfing, not exactly what I expected it to be. I thought I would hate myself for even going, but it was really interesting. Challenging.
My thoughts were disturbed as the front door opened again and Zack reappeared "You have to come with us." He motioned for me to follow.
"Why?" I asked, grabbing my keys from the hook by the kitchen door.
"Apparently something about starting to track today and vocals. I don't fucking know." He started for the door as I followed "You're driving yourself, right?" He asked, I glanced at my car and back at him "Can you fucking behave and keep your mouth shut?"
"I promise" I laughed and climbed in to the opposite back seat as Marie "Hi." Hannah didn't even look up from her phone as she and Marie, obviously, were texting each other back and forth.
"Hey to you too Han." I laughed as Zack peeled out of the driveway.
"Zack," Marie piped up "You can drop me off at the house, Jackie's gonna come over, she has something for me to give to work." She looked up from her phone "Is that ok?"
"Of course." Zack glanced in the rear view, exchanging a look with he as she nodded "Or I can drop you at Brian's-"
"Perfect." She answered quickly, "Sorry, Barb really needs this and Jackie worked hard to get them for me."
"Since when does Jackie help you with work?" I asked "And since when do you work?"
She turned to me slowly, her hair brushing over the cleavage profoundly showing from under her shirt "Since I started living my life, Matthew." She said abruptly, her rep lips closing tightly as the words left her mouth. Her eyes were so bright it took me by surprise as she laughed "Is that an issue?" She asked.
"No, just... I didn't think you'd go back so soon." I shrugged.
"Oh, I don't work at that shit hole any more." She brushed her hand in the air, causing me to realize the lack of her wedding ring. I took a deep breath in, "I work at a modelling agency in LA now, so much better. No drugs," She laughed in unison with Hannah "Just bulimia."
"Lovely." Zack mumbled "Are you sure you don't wanna come with us?" He smirked in the mirror again.
"I mean..." Marie shrugged "I guess I can meet up with her later, oh, Matt, also-" She dug in her purse "I grabbed these when we left the house, when Zack said we'd be stopping at your place, I totally forgot to give them to you then." She pulled out a yellow envelope.
My eyes scanned it over, the paper was worn, old looking "Marie?" I asked.
"Yah." She nodded as I opened them, glancing at the divorce papers that she had obviously had re-written up but placed in the same envelope.
"Seriously?" I asked.
"Matt." Zack warned.
"I'm supposed to just be calm that my wife is giving me divorce papers?" I asked "Oh thanks hun, this is lovely, what a great surprise." I faked a smile.
"I'm sorry, what did you think was going to come of this whole mess?" She asked, waving her hands around "You couldn't possibly have thought-"
"That we'd eventually go to counselling, do something, save us?" I asked "No, how foolish of me."
"I'm not the one who fucking tried killing you."
Her words chilled my bones like ice. The venom dripping from her lips coated every word in anger, hatred, so fully that you could actually feel it dripping in the air. Her eyes didn't water like mine were, her jaw set, her fists clenched.
"So..." Hannah broke the silence growing deafening "While these two fucks stay at the studio, we can go get our nails done." She hit behind her seat, contacting Marie's arm.
She flinched back, Hannah muttering apologies towards Marie's direction. She held her arms and bit her lip, tapping her foot on the ground, hard.
"You good?" Zack asked, Marie nodded.
"Yah, perfect. Why?" She laughed.
"Sorry." Hannah sighed "I was trying to find you."
Marie laughed and shrugged "So, nails huh?" She hung her arms over Hannah's seat as I stared at the paper work in my lap. I caught Zack's eye in the rear view mirror and he shook his head. I knew I had fucked up, but I had hoped there was a way to fix it.. Eventually?
Hoped...
Two months later
I had gotten my own beach house in Huntington, I had finally passed the stress tests to not need my heart medication. So I technically didn't need Bax any more, but they wanted me to keep him just in case. I couldn't complain, life wouldn't be the same without him. I had stayed sober, not even a lick of alcohol, for the entire two months.
I hadn't gone out of my way to speak to Matt the whole time, I'd seen him once or twice when I went to go pick up Hannah or Jackie to hang out, if he was at one of their houses. I was back working in LA, but this time as a receptionist for a modelling agency. I had stopped talking to Sasha and Joslin, I didn't need that stumbling block any longer.
The back door to my house opened up to the beach just like I had always wanted. Always. It was so weird being alone so often, but I loved it. It was peaceful. Since Matt and I hadn't talked, neither of us had figured out the whole divorce process yet. Technically, the paperwork was still valid, but sitting on my kitchen table waiting for me to get it to him somehow... I glanced down at my bare ring finger, I had taken my ring off the first night I spent at Zack and Hannah's.
I knew we weren't getting back together, frankly I didn't want to. I never wanted to feel unsafe with someone, or feel like I was a second. I understood that love he would always have for Corinne, the same I would always have for Eric. But I would never let that come between myself and the love in my heart for Matt. I knew Eric wanted me happy, and happy was with Matt.
But, that wasn't my reality lately. Happy was healthy, sober, alone, single, and here. In this house that I wouldn't give up for anything. I had dyed my hair a lighter shade of brown, nothing too drastic, and I decided that I needed to give up dressing like I gave a fuck what people thought. Which meant my entire wardrobe had undergone surgery. It as nice, refreshing.
I guess just like my whole life had been. I grabbed my phone from the end table beside me, my feet kicked up on the porch railing behind my house, watching the sun begin to poke above the skyline behind my house.
I clicked on Hannah's name and let it ring. "Hey baby!" She answered "Whatcha doing up so early on a Saturday?"
I looked at the time, it was only seven in the morning, but she was an early riser.
"Oh y'know, just enjoying the porch." I smiled as she laughed "What are you and fuckboy doing today?"
"Oh fuckboy!" She called for Zack. She asked what his plans were and returned to the phone "Not much, he said he's going over..."
"Matt's." I laughed.
"Yah, that thing's house. For a bit this morning to grab a demo from him, but then he's going up to Sacramento to drop it off at some guys house I guess... Wanna go for a ride?" She asked.
"I mean, sure, I have nothing else going on. Barb isn't on my ass about any emails yet so why not." I laughed, referencing my new boss, who was a lovely lady, but very... particular.
"Ok, we'll pick you up around ten? He's gonna go wake the beast now. See you soon love!"
"See you!" I smiled and hung up, I loved the fact that Hannah kept in touch.
Don't get me wrong, Jackie and I kept in touch, but I think she felt a little more on edge about it because Matt did tend to be over there more often than Zack's. She didn't want him there, but Brian had set the rule down, which didn't make her happy.
I ran upstairs to take a shower and get dressed, Hannah's ten was a reality check of nine, usually. I quickly washed my hair, and shaved. I bolted to my room as I heard the front door open, followed by Hannah's voice. I threw on some tight jeans, a cropped top, and some black pumps.
"Hey!" I smiled as I ran down the stairs skillfully in the heels.
"I still don't understand how those are normal shoes for you." Hannah shook her head, looking down at the glossy black pumps on my feet.
"I mean..." I laughed "It's easy."
"You look like a prostitute." Zack laughed "Also, Matt wasn't awakw to answer the door so we came here first."
"Oh." I answered quickly "Well ok. Lemme just grab my purse and I'll be all set to head off." I smiled, walking to the closet, feeling somewhat worried about going to the old house. I sighed and followed Hannah to Zack's SUV, climbing in to the back seat.
"So I'll run in quick, grab the demos, and we can shoot out. Ok?" Zack asked as we traveled the short distance down the road. None of us lived far from eachother, it just made hanging out easier. Also those late nights when I needed someone to come stay with me when I heard something outside, it made it easy.
"That's fine." I shrugged "I don't mind."
"Ok, now hopefully he's awake this time.." Zack mumbled as he got out of the car and started banging on the front door. He was probably pounding on the door for a solid three minutes before I got tired of it.
"Where are you going?" Han asked from the front seat.
"To get the spare key for him." I laughed and climbed out of the car, clicking my heels over to the front door.
"Marie get back in the car." Zack pointed to the car but I shook him off.
"The spare key is around here." I pointed to the steps "It's always in some dumb spot so he can find it drunk."
I bent down and began looking under the rocks set on the stairs. "Ah, found-"
"What the fuck, Za-... Oh, wow..." I heard Matt's surprised voice as he paused, opening the front door.
"Oh hi." Zack gently pushed at my side "Go to the car."
I stood up and smiled, pushing hair from my face "Sorry, figured I could help... make noise to wake you up." I laughed nervously as Matt's eyes scanned my body, making me suddenly conscious of the cleavage showing and the fact my entire mid-drift was showing.
"Well, the spare key isn't out here anymore, so that wouldn't have helped." He leaned against the doorway "Why are you even here early?"
Zack shrugged "Oh y'know, those demos I'm bringing to Sacramento." He eyed Matt with a glare as I walked back to the car, swinging my hips ever so slightly.
Matt's POV
"What the fuck, Za-... Oh, wow..." I opened the door to find Zack standing next to a very bent over Marie. My eyes focused on her ass, as she quickly turned to face me, her cleavage showing from beneath her small shirt, if you considered it that.
"Oh hi." Zack pushed at her hip and told her to go to the car, but she stood. Rambling on nervously about something.
"The spare key isn't out here anymore, so that wouldn't have helped." I leaned on the doorway, "Why are you even here early?" I asked Zack, my eyes scanned Marie's body again, she looked... amazing. Her smile was so wide and bright.
Zack answered me as she began walking to the car where Hannah was sitting, her hips swaying with each step. I felt my face redden.
"Hello?" Zack waved in my face "Demos."
"Oh, right." I nodded and walked back in to the house, Zack following "You guys making it an adventure?" I asked.
"Maybe, why?" He asked back, waiting for me to pull the discs from my computer.
"Just asking." I shrugged and turned to him "So how is she?"
"Fine, Matt she's fine. Now give me the demos so I can bring them up." He held his hand out, no one had really forgiven me for what happened. Especially Jackie though, I swear to God every time I stepped foot in that house she prayed the whole time I would be struck by lightening.
"Here." I handed them to him "Just... Zack," I caught his eye as he began for the door "Keep her safe?"
"Safer than you did." He glared me down and walked out, making me hate myself more than I already did.
I had quit drinking, given up going to the studio and moping about Corinne like I still had been doing. I needed to move on, and even if it wasn't with Marie, or anyone for that matter. I needed to live. I had started golfing, not exactly what I expected it to be. I thought I would hate myself for even going, but it was really interesting. Challenging.
My thoughts were disturbed as the front door opened again and Zack reappeared "You have to come with us." He motioned for me to follow.
"Why?" I asked, grabbing my keys from the hook by the kitchen door.
"Apparently something about starting to track today and vocals. I don't fucking know." He started for the door as I followed "You're driving yourself, right?" He asked, I glanced at my car and back at him "Can you fucking behave and keep your mouth shut?"
"I promise" I laughed and climbed in to the opposite back seat as Marie "Hi." Hannah didn't even look up from her phone as she and Marie, obviously, were texting each other back and forth.
"Hey to you too Han." I laughed as Zack peeled out of the driveway.
"Zack," Marie piped up "You can drop me off at the house, Jackie's gonna come over, she has something for me to give to work." She looked up from her phone "Is that ok?"
"Of course." Zack glanced in the rear view, exchanging a look with he as she nodded "Or I can drop you at Brian's-"
"Perfect." She answered quickly, "Sorry, Barb really needs this and Jackie worked hard to get them for me."
"Since when does Jackie help you with work?" I asked "And since when do you work?"
She turned to me slowly, her hair brushing over the cleavage profoundly showing from under her shirt "Since I started living my life, Matthew." She said abruptly, her rep lips closing tightly as the words left her mouth. Her eyes were so bright it took me by surprise as she laughed "Is that an issue?" She asked.
"No, just... I didn't think you'd go back so soon." I shrugged.
"Oh, I don't work at that shit hole any more." She brushed her hand in the air, causing me to realize the lack of her wedding ring. I took a deep breath in, "I work at a modelling agency in LA now, so much better. No drugs," She laughed in unison with Hannah "Just bulimia."
"Lovely." Zack mumbled "Are you sure you don't wanna come with us?" He smirked in the mirror again.
"I mean..." Marie shrugged "I guess I can meet up with her later, oh, Matt, also-" She dug in her purse "I grabbed these when we left the house, when Zack said we'd be stopping at your place, I totally forgot to give them to you then." She pulled out a yellow envelope.
My eyes scanned it over, the paper was worn, old looking "Marie?" I asked.
"Yah." She nodded as I opened them, glancing at the divorce papers that she had obviously had re-written up but placed in the same envelope.
"Seriously?" I asked.
"Matt." Zack warned.
"I'm supposed to just be calm that my wife is giving me divorce papers?" I asked "Oh thanks hun, this is lovely, what a great surprise." I faked a smile.
"I'm sorry, what did you think was going to come of this whole mess?" She asked, waving her hands around "You couldn't possibly have thought-"
"That we'd eventually go to counselling, do something, save us?" I asked "No, how foolish of me."
"I'm not the one who fucking tried killing you."
Her words chilled my bones like ice. The venom dripping from her lips coated every word in anger, hatred, so fully that you could actually feel it dripping in the air. Her eyes didn't water like mine were, her jaw set, her fists clenched.
"So..." Hannah broke the silence growing deafening "While these two fucks stay at the studio, we can go get our nails done." She hit behind her seat, contacting Marie's arm.
She flinched back, Hannah muttering apologies towards Marie's direction. She held her arms and bit her lip, tapping her foot on the ground, hard.
"You good?" Zack asked, Marie nodded.
"Yah, perfect. Why?" She laughed.
"Sorry." Hannah sighed "I was trying to find you."
Marie laughed and shrugged "So, nails huh?" She hung her arms over Hannah's seat as I stared at the paper work in my lap. I caught Zack's eye in the rear view mirror and he shook his head. I knew I had fucked up, but I had hoped there was a way to fix it.. Eventually?
Hoped...