Ready For Your Love
Second encouter
He looks up to see me standing there, with an opened mouth, not sure how to react to this new invasion as I thought he’d leave me alone for a while.
The look in his eyes immediately saddens, but I don’t really know why anymore.
The man, with whom I once shared a soul, has alienated from me, he’s become a mist of unknown for me.
“Lynn,” he sadly sighs. “Can we talk now? Please?”
I open and close my mouth a couple of times, wanting to say something, but I don’t know what. After a while of feeling like a whale, I carefully nod.
“Talk, then,” I manage to say. As he sits down on a food box, he motions for me to do the same. I slowly obey, and sink down next to him. I keep my eyes fixed on the floor, my feet playing around with some dirt.
“I miss you,” he says. I wince, tears already starting to burn in my eyes, goddamn. He keeps silent for a while, as I close my eyes trying to make them leave. “I really do. I realize what I did was wrong, I do. I should have told you. No. No, I shouldn’t have let me get sucked in before it was too late. But I did, so yeah, I should have told you about it,” he sighs.
“What do you mean, sucked in? Your dick, that I recall to have made a daughter, yes, sucked into her vagina or what?” I snap.
“Oh God,” he mumbles.
“God won’t help you now, babe,” I retort. He should pick his words more carefully.
“It doesn’t matter what I say, does it? You’ll always backfire it.” He sighs.
“I’m just keeping myself from being hurt again.” My voice weakens as time passes.
“No one’s here to hurt you,” he whispers.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought about you. But you’ve proven me wrong before,” As my voice gives out, I look away, salty tears starting to find their ways down my cheeks.
“I know. I know, honey,” He silently coos, and he softly puts his hand in my back, being careful. I guess he saw the tears. “And I apologize. Please forgive me?”
“It’s so hard. So hard.” I sob. I want to lean into his touch, but I don’t either. My feelings are all mixed, everything’s confusing me.
“Try? Please,” He holds on, starting to rub circles on my back. After about 10 minutes of silence, only my sobs and my pets shuffling around disturbing the silence, I nod.
“I’ll try. But no promises,” I give in.
I hate how this man owns my heart, he always knows how to convince me. His hand stops rubbing circles, and he tries to pull me into a hug. He fails, as I stand up, fearing the intimacy and getting suckered into this love again. He’s hurt me before, and I can’t let him do it again. I have to stay distant, but you have no idea how hard that is when the person is the one you thought was your true love. The one who made you believe in true love, too. I had always thought it was a stupid fairy tale thing, but the way I lost my heart to him made me reconsider that opinion.
Then again, what happened might be proof it doesn’t exist.
Gerard gets up as well, which gives me something to do. I open the box and take a bag of dog food out of it.
“Can I help with anything?” He asks nicely. I nod and push the bag in his arms. Taking the bowls, I turn back to him to fill them.
“Get your scrawny asses over here if you want food!” I yell onto the field. Gerard laughs. “What? They listen to that!” I say as I can’t help but giggle a bit as well. As soon as I finish my sentence, the dogs come running in, jumping up to my leg to be the first to grab the bowls out of my hand. “Nuhuh, you know what that means,” I warn. They all stop immediately, so that I can put the food down peacefully.
“They listen to you amazingly well, I still wonder how you do that,” Gerard says. I shrug.
“Has to do something with my huge animal love, maybe. They feel that, so they’re really sure I don’t have bad intentions, but only want the best for them,” I answer, getting oats and hay for Cato as well.
Gerard’s cell phone starts ringing, so he apologizes quickly and picks up, not having the intention to leave the stable for private chats or anything.
“Hey love,” He says happily into the phone, a smile playing on his face. With that he crushes my heart, rips it apart into a million pieces.
The look in his eyes immediately saddens, but I don’t really know why anymore.
The man, with whom I once shared a soul, has alienated from me, he’s become a mist of unknown for me.
“Lynn,” he sadly sighs. “Can we talk now? Please?”
I open and close my mouth a couple of times, wanting to say something, but I don’t know what. After a while of feeling like a whale, I carefully nod.
“Talk, then,” I manage to say. As he sits down on a food box, he motions for me to do the same. I slowly obey, and sink down next to him. I keep my eyes fixed on the floor, my feet playing around with some dirt.
“I miss you,” he says. I wince, tears already starting to burn in my eyes, goddamn. He keeps silent for a while, as I close my eyes trying to make them leave. “I really do. I realize what I did was wrong, I do. I should have told you. No. No, I shouldn’t have let me get sucked in before it was too late. But I did, so yeah, I should have told you about it,” he sighs.
“What do you mean, sucked in? Your dick, that I recall to have made a daughter, yes, sucked into her vagina or what?” I snap.
“Oh God,” he mumbles.
“God won’t help you now, babe,” I retort. He should pick his words more carefully.
“It doesn’t matter what I say, does it? You’ll always backfire it.” He sighs.
“I’m just keeping myself from being hurt again.” My voice weakens as time passes.
“No one’s here to hurt you,” he whispers.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought about you. But you’ve proven me wrong before,” As my voice gives out, I look away, salty tears starting to find their ways down my cheeks.
“I know. I know, honey,” He silently coos, and he softly puts his hand in my back, being careful. I guess he saw the tears. “And I apologize. Please forgive me?”
“It’s so hard. So hard.” I sob. I want to lean into his touch, but I don’t either. My feelings are all mixed, everything’s confusing me.
“Try? Please,” He holds on, starting to rub circles on my back. After about 10 minutes of silence, only my sobs and my pets shuffling around disturbing the silence, I nod.
“I’ll try. But no promises,” I give in.
I hate how this man owns my heart, he always knows how to convince me. His hand stops rubbing circles, and he tries to pull me into a hug. He fails, as I stand up, fearing the intimacy and getting suckered into this love again. He’s hurt me before, and I can’t let him do it again. I have to stay distant, but you have no idea how hard that is when the person is the one you thought was your true love. The one who made you believe in true love, too. I had always thought it was a stupid fairy tale thing, but the way I lost my heart to him made me reconsider that opinion.
Then again, what happened might be proof it doesn’t exist.
Gerard gets up as well, which gives me something to do. I open the box and take a bag of dog food out of it.
“Can I help with anything?” He asks nicely. I nod and push the bag in his arms. Taking the bowls, I turn back to him to fill them.
“Get your scrawny asses over here if you want food!” I yell onto the field. Gerard laughs. “What? They listen to that!” I say as I can’t help but giggle a bit as well. As soon as I finish my sentence, the dogs come running in, jumping up to my leg to be the first to grab the bowls out of my hand. “Nuhuh, you know what that means,” I warn. They all stop immediately, so that I can put the food down peacefully.
“They listen to you amazingly well, I still wonder how you do that,” Gerard says. I shrug.
“Has to do something with my huge animal love, maybe. They feel that, so they’re really sure I don’t have bad intentions, but only want the best for them,” I answer, getting oats and hay for Cato as well.
Gerard’s cell phone starts ringing, so he apologizes quickly and picks up, not having the intention to leave the stable for private chats or anything.
“Hey love,” He says happily into the phone, a smile playing on his face. With that he crushes my heart, rips it apart into a million pieces.