Who We'll Be
Gone
I continued to walk towards my house, which was only a few blocks away now.
The sun had been hiding beyond the clouds, and after a few minutes, it started to rain.
The raindrops showered my whole body, making my wet shirt stick to my skin. Great.
And what a coincidence, I mean in some movies, sad people walk in the rain alone, right? How dramatic. But I have no desire of catching a cold like those people, so I decided to run as fast as I could.
“Wait, Symmery…!” Sky’s voice suddenly filled my ears, and I tried not to turn around.
But I did; I took a fast glance, and saw him running towards me.
His hair was dripping wet, and it almost covered his eyes. But I don’t care how cute he looked right now.
He grabbed my wrist, and I struggled for him to let go.
“Lauren called me…and said that…” He looked down. “You already know.”
“Yes, I already know, alright.”
I faced and looked at him sternly, while trying to hold back tears.
“I already know now that you’re such an excellent liar.”
“Please, Symmery…” he begged, tightening his grip of my wrist. “Let me explain…”
“Go ahead.”
“Let’s get out of here first. You’ll get sick if we stay here longer.”
“No, I’m not coming with you.”
“Don’t be so stubborn, Symmery.”
“Are you going to explain or not?”
He just sighed, defeated.
“Look, I was…I…” He struggled for words. “My mind was…I didn’t know what I was doing before, okay? I was too…depressed and stupid because of all the crap that happened. I wanted to leave everything behind, that’s why I came here. Please, understand. I just needed to…I needed to breathe. Of course I was planning to tell you everything when I’m ready, but Lauren and her big mouth managed to tell you first. Can we go now? Symmery, you’ll get sick.”
“Oh, and when will you be ready to tell me? When I’m already dying on my death bed? And you didn’t even tell me anything about Lauren before. Is it because I didn’t ask? Was I still supposed to ask you ‘Have you ever lived with an ex before?’ Or ‘Did an ex save your life before?’ Is that your plan? Or do I still have to—“
Sky forcefully pulled me closer, and gave me his tightest hug, not caring if we’re standing on the abandoned sidewalk while our bodies were soaking wet.
“Symmery…don’t do this...” he begged. “...please.”
It took all my strength to push him away.
"You’re not answering any of my questions.”
Suddenly, his eyes turned…cold.
“Well what do you want to hear?! That I’m too fucking weak to tell you everything?! That I’m the most worthless guy in the world, because I made some asshole moves?! And yes, I lived with my ex! She saved my life! Are you happy now?!”
My tears burned as they ran down my cheeks.
I looked down.
“Did you…have sex with her? Don’t lie to me anymore, please.”
The question was too shallow and out of nowhere, but I don’t care. I want to know the truth. Every truth behind his lies.
Sky looked at me, and his still-cold eyes were breaking my heart.
“Yes. Happy?”
I looked up, and let the raindrops pour down my face. They gently ran down my cheeks down to my jaw, but the feeling sent daggers through my veins.
I closed my eyes, and sighed.
“No...you’re hurting me.”
I opened my eyes and looked at him, and saw his eyes suddenly widened, as if he just realized everything he’d just said. I couldn’t see if he’s actually crying, because of and the rain and my own tears blurring my view of him.
“I-I didn’t mean to…” he said as he tenderly clutched my hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Let go, please…”
I budged tiredly.
Out of a sudden, he started embracing me again. It was too tight, that I felt my heart and knees began to give.
“I won’t let go if you don’t forgive me,” he stubbornly whispered, his arms around my neck and waist.
I do want to forgive him, but I cant just forgive him like that. What he did just hurt...
...too much.
I started sobbing, and it seemed that it made him unable to let go of me even more.
“Please, Symmery…” I could feel the tears in his tone. “Don’t do this to me, please…"
His arms gripped me tighter.
"...I love you.”
I also love you. But I just need to breathe too…
I closed my eyes again, until all I felt was him, and the strong and continuous pouring of the rain.
And I thought our love was a fairytale…
…but unlike most of them…
…I guess ours just didn’t have a happy ending.
After a moment, I gently pushed him away, and he didn’t stop me.
I clumsily wiped my tears with my hands.
“Goodbye, Sky.”
Those were the last words that I said, before walking away.
And with my every step away from him, I had this stupid and little string of hope, that he would at least stop me…
…but he didn’t.
I looked back, and this time, I finally confirmed by the bursting emotion of sorrow in his crystal blue eyes…
…he was crying.
I continued to walk away.
And when I was a few miles away from where we had parted…
…I turned around again.
And not because of guilt.
Yes, he did betray me…
…and it had hurt…
…and it still hurts, so bad…
…but I couldn’t help it…
…I still need him…
…I still love him.
But as I looked back…
…he wasn’t there anymore.
Only the faint and dimming blue light, and the strong raindrops falling from the clouds caught my vision.
Sky’s gone.
And not just from where he had stood…
…but also…
…from my life…
…leaving me alone in the world.
The sun had been hiding beyond the clouds, and after a few minutes, it started to rain.
The raindrops showered my whole body, making my wet shirt stick to my skin. Great.
And what a coincidence, I mean in some movies, sad people walk in the rain alone, right? How dramatic. But I have no desire of catching a cold like those people, so I decided to run as fast as I could.
“Wait, Symmery…!” Sky’s voice suddenly filled my ears, and I tried not to turn around.
But I did; I took a fast glance, and saw him running towards me.
His hair was dripping wet, and it almost covered his eyes. But I don’t care how cute he looked right now.
He grabbed my wrist, and I struggled for him to let go.
“Lauren called me…and said that…” He looked down. “You already know.”
“Yes, I already know, alright.”
I faced and looked at him sternly, while trying to hold back tears.
“I already know now that you’re such an excellent liar.”
“Please, Symmery…” he begged, tightening his grip of my wrist. “Let me explain…”
“Go ahead.”
“Let’s get out of here first. You’ll get sick if we stay here longer.”
“No, I’m not coming with you.”
“Don’t be so stubborn, Symmery.”
“Are you going to explain or not?”
He just sighed, defeated.
“Look, I was…I…” He struggled for words. “My mind was…I didn’t know what I was doing before, okay? I was too…depressed and stupid because of all the crap that happened. I wanted to leave everything behind, that’s why I came here. Please, understand. I just needed to…I needed to breathe. Of course I was planning to tell you everything when I’m ready, but Lauren and her big mouth managed to tell you first. Can we go now? Symmery, you’ll get sick.”
“Oh, and when will you be ready to tell me? When I’m already dying on my death bed? And you didn’t even tell me anything about Lauren before. Is it because I didn’t ask? Was I still supposed to ask you ‘Have you ever lived with an ex before?’ Or ‘Did an ex save your life before?’ Is that your plan? Or do I still have to—“
Sky forcefully pulled me closer, and gave me his tightest hug, not caring if we’re standing on the abandoned sidewalk while our bodies were soaking wet.
“Symmery…don’t do this...” he begged. “...please.”
It took all my strength to push him away.
"You’re not answering any of my questions.”
Suddenly, his eyes turned…cold.
“Well what do you want to hear?! That I’m too fucking weak to tell you everything?! That I’m the most worthless guy in the world, because I made some asshole moves?! And yes, I lived with my ex! She saved my life! Are you happy now?!”
My tears burned as they ran down my cheeks.
I looked down.
“Did you…have sex with her? Don’t lie to me anymore, please.”
The question was too shallow and out of nowhere, but I don’t care. I want to know the truth. Every truth behind his lies.
Sky looked at me, and his still-cold eyes were breaking my heart.
“Yes. Happy?”
I looked up, and let the raindrops pour down my face. They gently ran down my cheeks down to my jaw, but the feeling sent daggers through my veins.
I closed my eyes, and sighed.
“No...you’re hurting me.”
I opened my eyes and looked at him, and saw his eyes suddenly widened, as if he just realized everything he’d just said. I couldn’t see if he’s actually crying, because of and the rain and my own tears blurring my view of him.
“I-I didn’t mean to…” he said as he tenderly clutched my hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Let go, please…”
I budged tiredly.
Out of a sudden, he started embracing me again. It was too tight, that I felt my heart and knees began to give.
“I won’t let go if you don’t forgive me,” he stubbornly whispered, his arms around my neck and waist.
I do want to forgive him, but I cant just forgive him like that. What he did just hurt...
...too much.
I started sobbing, and it seemed that it made him unable to let go of me even more.
“Please, Symmery…” I could feel the tears in his tone. “Don’t do this to me, please…"
His arms gripped me tighter.
"...I love you.”
I also love you. But I just need to breathe too…
I closed my eyes again, until all I felt was him, and the strong and continuous pouring of the rain.
And I thought our love was a fairytale…
…but unlike most of them…
…I guess ours just didn’t have a happy ending.
After a moment, I gently pushed him away, and he didn’t stop me.
I clumsily wiped my tears with my hands.
“Goodbye, Sky.”
Those were the last words that I said, before walking away.
And with my every step away from him, I had this stupid and little string of hope, that he would at least stop me…
…but he didn’t.
I looked back, and this time, I finally confirmed by the bursting emotion of sorrow in his crystal blue eyes…
…he was crying.
I continued to walk away.
And when I was a few miles away from where we had parted…
…I turned around again.
And not because of guilt.
Yes, he did betray me…
…and it had hurt…
…and it still hurts, so bad…
…but I couldn’t help it…
…I still need him…
…I still love him.
But as I looked back…
…he wasn’t there anymore.
Only the faint and dimming blue light, and the strong raindrops falling from the clouds caught my vision.
Sky’s gone.
And not just from where he had stood…
…but also…
…from my life…
…leaving me alone in the world.