Love Song

Jordan

“Jordan how did you get that black eye?” Mom asked as I walked into the house after school. I dumped my keys into my bag and thought about a lie I could tell.

“I ran into this girl on accident.” I mumbled.

“Jordan you looked like you were beaten.” she mumbled, ruffling my hair as I sat on the computer chair.

“I wasn’t.” I mumbled, moving my body away.

“Are you still feeling lousy?” Mom asked, putting her hand on my forehead. I gave her a small nod without a word. My mom sighed and walked into the kitchen.

“Wait Jordan. Weren’t you supposed to start last week?” I turned my head, seeing my mom studying the calendar.

“I was. But you know me…I’m…I’m all over the place.” I said, forcing a laugh.

My mom shrugged and started making dinner. I stood up off the computer chair and walked quickly into my room. I shut the door and headed to my closet doors, which were mirrors. I lifted my shirt up to see my stomach and turned so I could see my stomach from the side.

“No…No, no, no, no!” I said, my heart beginning to skip several beats. I wouldn’t have even considered pregnancy as the reason for my sickness. If my mom hadn’t told me about being a week late, I would’ve never known. Well, not at first, obviously.

I grabbed my bag and rushed out of the door without my mom even turning to ask me where I was going.

As I drove to the drug store, my hands shook and my breathing was shaky. I didn’t say anything to the clerk as I set three pregnancy tests on the counter. No “hi” or “how are you?” or anything. Piercings practically covered this girl’s face and her hair was three or four different colors and she had the raccoon eyeliner and she just looked annoyed and cranky. And it wasn’t helping my mood.

The girl, who’s name tag read Denise, spoke like Kat Von D when she finally said to me, “Wait, you’re only 17?”

“Um…yeah.” I murmured, taking my change from Denise’s hand and into my change purse.

“Oh.” Denise raised her eyebrows slightly and I knew she was thinking This girl is freaking stupid.

“Thank you.” I grabbed the plastic bag and rushed out of the store, trying to avoid more conversation with anyone and the looks I was getting. Not just from Denise, but from the people standing behind me in line.

I rushed into the bathroom, hoping my mom wouldn’t notice me. I heard Josh playing his bass in his room and Tia listening to All American Rejects in her room.

I took all three of those tests and all three of them were positive.

What am I gonna do? I thought to myself. I broke the sticks in half and jammed them into my bag as I ran back into my room. I put my hands on my stomach and I wanted to drown in my own tears. But fear was keeping my tears away. I wasn’t allowed to cry even if Mr. Block and I were apart.

The next day, my mom let me stay home from school because I wasn’t throwing up anymore, but I was on the edge of it.

After Josh and Tia left for school and Mom and my step-dad left for work, I threw on some clothes and headed to Planned Parenthood.

Have you ever had those moments where you can’t remember how you went from point A to point B? That’s what it felt like for me. I don’t remember walking into the room. I don’t remember putting my feet into the stirrups. None of it. All I know is that once I walked out of the building, my head cleared but I still felt numb on the inside.

I was home and in bed sleeping before my mom and step-dad came home.

“Are you awake Jordan?” Mom asked me when she came home that evening.

“Yeah.” I replied, sitting up in my bed and adjusting my pillows so I could lean against them.

“Are you feeling any better?” she asked.

“A lot better.” I said truthfully. My stomach did feel better. But my heart sure as hell didn’t feel better. I had to get rid of it though. It would’ve opened a door that I’ve put my effort in keeping closed. My parents would’ve found out about Mr. Block, which would’ve resulted in god knows what. Even if Mr. Block wasn’t the father, even if it was Zakk’s, it would’ve been a huge mistake to have that baby.

“That’s weird. You’re sick for a week and now it’s all of a sudden better.” she shrugged and chuckled. “At least you’re better now.”

I nodded and forced a small smile on my face.

“Another after school detention?!” Josh exclaimed the next day after we left first period. I nodded, trying to stop my body from trembling.

“What are you doing in Mr. Block’s class to make him so mad?” he asked.

“I’ve got a better question. Why are you here? You’re a high school graduate now. Go away.” I snapped.

“I’m here for you and Tia.” he said, shrugging.

“Liar.” I mumbled.

“Ok, I have nothing to do.” he said, shrugging.

“Go find temporary work.” I mumbled.

“No can do kiddo.” he laughed.

“Whatever.” I scoffed, pushing past him.

Josh

“Whatever.” Jordan scoffed, pushing past me.

“Jordan!” I called. But she kept walking and ignored me.

After school, Amy and I sat outside the door. Amy rolled a leaf between her thumb and index finger. I ran my fingers through my black hair, that had faded, showing my dark brown hair a little and stared at the rain that was pounding hard.

“What is taking her so long?” Amy asked throwing the leaf, which didn’t fly far and landed on the toe of her shoe.

“I have no clue.” I mumbled, standing up. The door was slightly cracked open. I leaned in and looked inside.

What I was seeing was making it harder to breathe.

“What’s happening?” Amy whispered, leaning in, trying to get a peek.

“I…” I lost my ability to speak at that moment. My body began to shake violently as I moved away from the door.

“Oh my god…” Amy whispered, putting her hand on her chest in shock. She turned her head to look at me.

The images flashed in my brain and I felt like I was losing it.

Mr. Block had punched Jordan and pushed her onto his desk. How long had he been hitting her? I didn’t know. But she definitely looked beat up.

“He’s dead.” I snarled. I rushed toward the door. But Amy pushed me back.

“Don’t hold me back Amy!” I screamed.

“Josh! Keep your voice down!” Amy said, continuing to push me.

“You saw what I saw Amy!” I yelled.

“I know.” she mumbled, sounding helpless.

Jordan finally came out, pulling the strap of her backpack up her shoulder. She noticed me and Amy and stopped.

“You were what I heard.” she murmured.

“Jordan! Why wouldn’t you tell me?! We have to-”

Jordan covered my mouth before I could finish. “Don’t even finish.”

“Jordan!” I yelled, pulling her hand away from my mouth.

“What…?” she said softly.

“Look at you Jordan. You’re hurt. Don’t think I didn’t see anything.”

Her eyes widened. “What?!”

I raised her shirt slightly, revealing severe bruising all along her body.

“Jordan, don’t you look at me and tell me that this is nothing.” I snarled.

She looked at me with her fresh black eye and moved her body away, and winced as she did.

“Jordan.” I growled, moving her head to face me. I wiped the blood that dried on the corner of her lips.

“Just leave me alone!” she screamed, pushing me out of her way and walking into the rain.

“Jordan why won’t you tell us anything?” Amy called. Jordan slowly turned her body. Water dripped off the ends of her hair and she was soaked even though she’d been in the rain for a few seconds.

“Why should I tell you anything?!” she demanded.

“Because this is your life on the line! It was painful losing Aria. I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU!” I found myself screaming and my eyes beginning to water.

Jordan paused and stared at me. “I’m fine. Really.”

“No you aren’t Jordan.” I mumbled, wiping my eyes.

“This doesn’t concern you. JUST LET IT GO!” she yelled. She turned and walked away.

Amy put her hand on my shoulder. “Josh. Jordan is a strong person. She can turn it around.”

“Amy even the strongest of people wouldn’t be able to make it through this.”