The Movies Make It Look Easy

Chapter 74

Shannon’s P.O.V:

I woke to the feel of someone’s hand gliding lightly up and down my back. At first all I felt was confusion, my brain struggling to wake up completely. Then with a wide yawn, I realised it must be Nick. I was lying on my stomach, my face turned away from him. His fingers trailed up my back and I fought the urge to shiver, and break out in a fit of giggles when he hit a ticklish spot.
“I know you’re awake.”
I smiled when he spoke, just hearing his voice making me giddy with happiness. I rolled over to face him with another yawn, still blinking the sleep from my eyes. Nick on the other hand was wide awake - uncommonly so, actually.
“Why are you up so early? What time is it?”
He half shrugged, his head pillowed on one arm. “It’s after nine. I was enjoying watching you sleep.”
“Creep” I said good naturedly, snuggling closer to him. The sheets moved as I did, exposing more than a little skin. Nick reached out, tracing the line of my collarbone, his expression one I could only describe as possessive.
“Most mornings I wake up first” he said, looking almost wistful as he snaked an arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him.
“Really?” I asked, more than a little confused by both his expression and his words as I tucked my head under his chin. This was news to me. I’d been under the impression that I was the early riser in our relationship. Though admittedly, I used the term early in only the loosest sense of the word.
I felt him smile as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Yeah, I usually fall back asleep, though.”

He paused for a moment. “I miss this; just being near you; being able to hold you.”
I slipped an arm around him, not having to say a word. I knew what he was referring to; the weeks after Ryan’s death when I’d pushed him – and everyone else – as far away as I could manage. That included sleeping in separate rooms. If I could take it all back, I would.
Sometimes I forgot though, that even before that, things between us were tense at best. Such a life-changing, tragic event as Ryan’s death really put things in perspective. I could no longer justify placing so much importance on petty squabbles…not that I’d ever been particularly dramatic; I preferred a calmer, more realistic approach to life. That being said, if a situation like the one with Natalie ever repeated itself, I’d probably react in much the same way. Some things just couldn’t be forgiven, or forgotten.
I sighed, pushing my thoughts aside. “I missed it, too.”
Even if I’d never admitted it to myself, I had missed him, missed this, terribly.

He kissed me again and I felt myself relax against him, my eyes falling shut once more, when he cleared his throat. I waited almost a full minute for him to speak.
“Do you…regret anything? About last night, I mean?”
“Hmm…” I pretended to think about it. “Yes, I definitely regret not getting any dessert. That chocolate torte sounded delicious.”
Silence.
Right, it probably wasn’t the best time to be making jokes.
I propped myself up on one elbow, so I could see him. Even when he didn’t want to admit things, his eyes always told a different story. Right now, I’d never seen him look more vulnerable and…self-conscious? Not even when we had visited his mother. Nick had always put up a front, pretended to be strong all the time, no matter what. But it was times like these when he let his guard down that it was obvious that he was just as insecure as everyone else. He too needed reassurance on occasion.
“Of course I don’t regret anything, Nick” I said softly. “Not one second.”
The look on his face was so heart-breaking I wanted to give him a hug. It was the same look he’d worn when my parents gave him a present on Christmas morning. It made me think of a stray puppy that’s just been adopted into a loving home. It was happy, and above all, hopeful. It made my chest tighten and throat close up.
“I meant what I said last night. It’s the first time sex has ever meant anything to me – you know, beyond the obvious.”
I smiled, closing the small distance between us. “It meant something to me, too” I whispered before kissing him.
He groaned, his arms tightening around my waist as he pulled me across him.

When I finally broke the kiss, he grinned at me impishly.
“Does that mean it was the best you’ve ever had?”
I rolled my eyes. Men.
“Cause I’ve been with so many people” I retorted sarcastically.
In the world of the male ego, two other people were obviously sufficient competition to warrant asking. Men.
“That’s a yes” he practically crowed.
I frowned, grasping his face between my hands. “I think I may have actually seen your head grow a bit bigger…”
He just shrugged like he hadn’t a care in the world. “I think my head deserved to grow a size or two.”
I rolled my eyes again. You’d swear he’d just beaten Usain Bolt in the Olympics the way he was acting.
I pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I, on the other hand, am not even going to ask” I teased.
I didn’t know how many people Nick had slept with, and truthfully, I didn’t want to know. I definitely didn’t want to be compared to any of them. Especially not anyone I may know, of which there were probably a lot more than I realised. Ignorance is bliss.
He just shrugged, though, his hands beginning to wander, a happy little grin tugging at his lips. “There was no competition, really. Like I said, with you, it means something.”
I laughed, stroking a hand over his warm chest, before bending my head to press little kisses along his jawline.
“Now whose head is getting bigger” he murmured, turning to capture my lips with his.
When I managed to get my breath back, I nodded in solemn agreement. “At the rate we’re going, we won’t be able to fit through the door.”
“Fine by me. That just means you have to stay here, in bed, with me…indefinitely.”
I grinned. “As tempting as that sounds, I think I need some food” I declared, extricating myself with some difficulty from his grasp.
I heard his sigh of disapproval but resolutely ignored it, and him, as I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. If I let him turn those beautiful brown eyes on me, I’d cave and let him pull me back into bed. Who knows when we’d next surface? Actually, what exactly was wrong with that idea? I must be crazy.
I almost wavered, but the change in temperature hit almost immediately and I shivered, my skin peppered with goose bumps. I grabbed my robe from its very handy place on the floor and stood up, wrapping the thick material around me. I heard Nick mutter something about ‘the view’, but I didn’t bother to answer as I walked out of the room.

He made an appearance just as I left the kitchen with a bowl of cereal, wearing only a pair of boxers. I frowned. “Aren’t you freezing?”
He just shrugged, taking a seat at the table and pulling me down onto his lap – almost making me spill milk all over my lap.
“I’ve got you to keep me warm.”
I smiled but it quickly turned to a glare when he intercepted a spoonful of cereal meant for my mouth. In the end, I was lucky if I managed to consume half the bowl.
Nick seemed happily oblivious to my ire – or rather, he was happily ignoring it. He cupped my cheek, drawing me in for a deep kiss that promptly made me forget all but the feel of his lips against mine, my body cradled close to his. Evil, manipulative genius.

Of course we were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. Weren’t we always? I could see it in his face that he was contemplating just letting it ring out, so I stood up and gestured towards the haphazard pile of our coats beside the couch as I grabbed the empty bowl and headed for the kitchen. I quickly rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher before returning to the living room.
“Fucking hell” Nick muttered, tossing his phone onto the couch.
I raised an eyebrow in question.
“Mark and Jay are coming over” he said darkly.
I smirked at his annoyance and couldn’t help but feel excited. I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen them, and I missed them both. I clapped my hands together. “Right, I’m going to go get dressed.”
I left Nick still muttering to himself as I practically skipped to my room.

I dried my hair after a quick shower and threw on a pair of worn jeans and a tee. Nick was sprawled out on the couch, fully clothed (much to my dismay), an arm thrown over his eyes, when I left my room. I quietly walked over and curled up beside him. He shifted to make space, eyes still covered.
“When will they be here?” I wondered aloud, watching intently as his mouth turned downwards in a scowl.
“They’re probably on their way already.”
I slipped an arm around his waist, pillowing my head on his shoulder. “Do you not want them to come over?”
He chuckled without humour. “Is it too much to ask for me to spend a quiet day with my girlfriend?”
I knew what he meant, but it still didn’t stop me from looking forward to seeing my friends. “It’s okay. We’ll have plenty of time to spend, just us.”
He made a noise that sounded like a cross between a snort and a groan. “Don’t say that.” He paused to groan again, eyes still covered. “Knowing our luck, you’ve probably just jinxed it.”
Jeez, I thought, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I ran my hand up and down his chest in soothing movements, wondering whether to smile or scowl. I settled for a simple quirk of the lips. “Sometimes, you just have to make your own luck.”
His silence told me that he either didn’t believe me, or that his strangely mercurial mood had once again vacillated in a completely different direction. Who knew…he probably had PMS.
I yawned, settling more comfortably against him. “If they annoy us, we can just kick them out.”
Nick snorted with amusement; “Mark won’t even make it through the door, then.”
I laughed, thinking of Mark’s slightly ADD attitude.

I drifted off into a light sleep, perfectly content to just lie there for the day – but it wasn’t long before there was a series of rapid knocks on the front door. I sat up and Nick and I glanced at each other in wordless communication. I headed for the door, he for the kitchen.
The knocking picked up in intensity only to be cut off abruptly, just before I swung the door wide.
I raised an eyebrow when I saw Jay pushing Mark away. “Cut it out, idiot.”
Mark, it seemed, had been responsible for the energetic knocking fit. He opened his mouth - no doubt ready to fire back with some ‘witty’ repartee - but I cleared my throat loudly, essentially stopping them in their tracks.
Jay had the proximal advantage, and so reached me first. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, my face pressed against his shoulder. I inadvertently breathed in a mouthful of his cotton shirt as I hugged him back.

I stumbled against the doorframe when Jay was literally ripped away from me. I barely had time to grimace before I felt my feet leave the ground, my back suddenly becoming well-acquainted with my living room floor. The heavy body suddenly attached to my front like a barnacle didn’t help my respiratory system much, and all I could do was lie there and groan amid Mark’s satisfied, and Jay’s horrified, silence.
“Really, Mark?” I asked in exasperation when I finally got my breath back. I got no reply.
He adjusted his arms around my waist and twisted his head back and forth on my chest; the way most people do to make their pillow as comfortable as possible before going to sleep. Oh, hell no.
“You’ve got to be kidding me” I muttered, trying unsuccessfully to push Mark from me.
Jay just stood there staring at us as if he couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. I continued to push at his shoulders to no avail until Nick quietly walked over, his figure looming above us. I tilted my head back to look at him, smiling sheepishly. He surveyed us with a resigned expression, as if figuring out the best way to deal with the situation rather than just staring in horror.

Eventually, he pointed imperiously at Mark. “The back of his neck is extremely ticklish.”

In seconds, Mark was moving, leaping away from me as if he’s been scalded.
“Don’t you dare” he shouted dramatically, backing away from my supine form with his hands raised as if to ward off any attacks.
Jay glanced both ways out the front door, looking faintly embarrassed – judging by the flush colouring his high cheekbones – before stepping fully into the apartment and shutting the door with a decisive snap.
I reached my arms up imploringly, and Nick obligingly stepped forward to help me get to my feet. Mark had backed into a corner, watching us warily. I was going to file away the little nugget of information Nick had gifted me for the perfect moment. I now knew exactly what to do if he was ever annoying me – which was pretty much always, actually.

Nick pulled me in for a quick kiss, before turning on his heel and returning to the kitchen. I turned back to Mark and Jay and gave them both a, thankfully uninterrupted, hug.
“We’ve missed you, Sweetcheeks” Mark told me, some of his exuberant demeanour disappearing.
“I’ve missed you guys, too” I told them honestly, not realising until that moment, just how much I’d missed them.
Acting impulse, I stepped forward and pinched both of their cheeks. Angry muttering and scowls met my gesture. I shrugged, turning away from them. Oh, well.
Nick walked slowly back into the living room carrying four cups of tea and a packet of biscuits under one arm. Just what I needed. I helped him set everything safely down on the coffee table before taking our seats. Jay, as usual, took the armchair, leaving me stuck between Mark and Nick. I could see Mark eyeing me with a mischievous glint in his eye. Nick obviously noticed as well, because without warning, he pulled me against him. My, but he was feeling possessive today.
“I think you’ve inflicted enough bodily harm on my girlfriend for one day, don’t you think?” He glared at Mark over the top of my head.
He’d obviously been perfectly serious about wanting to spend the day with just me. That or he just knew Mark well enough to realise that he’d probably try to feel me up the first chance he got…all under the pretence of having missed me, of course. Whatever the reason, I didn’t much care, more than content to snuggle against Nick’s side; steaming cup of tea in one hand.
Mark pouted sulkily like the little kid he was at heart, until I offered him a biscuit; an improvised peace offering. He greedily took the packet from me and helped himself to a large stack of chocolate Digestives. Nick, Jay, and I rolled our eyes in concert. He was so easy to please.

I pulled my legs up under me and curled into Nick’s side as aimless chatter drifted over me. I could hear Nick and Jay discussing football, and so was happy to let my mind wander. I’d learned to tune out all sports-talk at a young age.
I frowned when I felt someone poke my side, but otherwise ignored it. I was far too comfortable. Unfortunately, Mark didn’t give up that easily. I still wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Thinking about it didn’t exactly help, either, when the poking was getting harder and more insistent the longer I ignored him.

Sighing, I opened my eyes and sat forward, placing my empty cup on the floor. I turned to Mark with a glare but couldn’t hold it when I saw him looking at me imploringly, arms outstretched. How could I possibly be mad at that? He was far too adorable for his own good. I obliged by scooting closer and wrapping my arms around his neck in a hug. He took immediate advantage, pulling me onto his lap and holding me tightly. I heard Nick’s loud sigh before he resumed his conversation with Jay.
“I really missed you, Sweetcheeks” Mark whispered too low for anyone but me to hear.
I smiled, and hugged him closer. “I missed you, too. I’m sorry for the temporary insanity.”
He laughed. “Don’t worry; I’ll think you’re hot no matter what.”
“Do you want me to hit you? Is that it?” Nick asked testily.
Okay, so he hadn’t been so quiet that time.
Mark just laughed. “Are you jealous? Scared I’ll steal your girlfriend from you?”
I smiled at Nick’s chagrined face while I gently extricated myself from Mark’s arms. His frown deepened as he stared at Mark, seeming to be deciding whether to hit his friend or not. His arms instantly came around me when I curled up in his lap, though his eyes never left his best friend. Mark continued to lounge on the other side of the couch, a self-satisfied smirk gracing his handsome face.
“You be nice” I told him, making his smirk grow even wider.
I stroked a finger across Nick’s cheekbone, my heart doing funny things in my chest. I hadn’t known it was possible to love some more each day.
“He’s just trying to get a rise out of you” I murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth.
I knew that wasn’t a necessarily true though. Like, Nick, Mark was a touchy-feely kind of guy – Jay had always been the more reserved of the three – and I knew he’d missed me. Hugging me and making me sit on his lap was just his way of, reassuring himself, I suppose. The fact that it pissed Nick off was just an added bonus. I didn’t bother to explain because I knew Nick was well aware that that was just how Mark was, just like I knew it didn’t bother him. Not really. Though, if anybody but Mark or Jay tried to act like that, there was no telling how he’d react. I remembered what had happened when Conor came to visit. That was a debacle I was not eager to revisit.

He caught my mouth in a possessive kiss that was just as much for himself as for everyone else. Mark and Jay groaned their annoyance. I didn’t care; they could sit there and deal with it. I pressed myself closer, slipping my arms around his neck. The groans got louder. We reluctantly pulled apart, knowing that the chances of one or both of us being hit with cushions and other objects had just skyrocketed.
He grinned lazily at me, his eyes dark. “I don’t suppose we could make them leave?”
I actually thought about it for a moment. “If you think they’ll comply, be my guest.”
He sighed, settling for another quick kiss. “Love you, Sweetheart” he murmured into my ear.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Mark lift the nearest cushion threateningly. Time was up. I had such great friends.
“I love you, too” I whispered before turning my attention back to Mark and Jay with a disapproving look. “What? Our house, our rules.” My comment was met with glares. Yeah, great friends.
Nick pulled me closer, resting his chin on my head. I liked hugging Mark, but sitting in his lap didn’t even come close to having Nick’s arms around me. It was like trying to compare vegetables to chocolate. No offense to Mark, or anything. My lips twitched at the thought.

“So, we were thinking of going out tonight” Jay piped up, seemingly unperturbed by our antics.
“That’s nice. Have a good time” Nick said blandly.
Mark snorted. “You’re coming, too. Both of you.”
I sighed, knowing that any sign of protest from us would result in an argument. I didn’t particularly want to go out, but then, I always felt like that before a night out. I usually forgot my reservations once I started getting ready, or started drinking. Whichever came first.
I pondered the idea, not letting myself just immediately refuse for no real reason. Yes, I decided, it might be fun. I wanted to spend as much time with the guys as possible - making up for lost time. I eyed Nick’s annoyingly blank expression speculatively. If he wasn’t on board, I wouldn’t push him to go out. Staying home was an equally – no, definitely more – appealing idea. I’m sure there were plenty of things we could do to pass the time. Nick’s eyes glittered with amusement at whatever he saw in my face. My eyes dropped to his lips, and I had to mentally restrain myself, knowing we weren’t alone.
“What do you think?” Nick asked, his mouth stretching in a knowing grin.
What? Oh, yeah, tonight. I shrugged. “Don’t mind. I’m up for whatever.”
Mark clapped his hands together loudly as he sat forward. “It’s settled, then.”

I turned to Jay. “Is Nikki coming?”
A dark cloud seemed to pass over his face as he regarded me silently for a moment.
“We broke up” he said simply, no inflection in his tone.
Well, shit. I’d known they were having problems, but I’d hoped they could work things out.
“When?” I could hear the frown in Nick’s voice and I wondered if Jay had told him about the problems in his relationship.
I kept my gaze on Jay’s impassive face.
Again, he was silent for a minute. “Last night.”
Damn. I felt bad that I hadn’t been there for Nikki. I remembered our conversation on the phone as she helped me decide what to wear on my date with Nick.
Had they already broken up? No, I decided, she’d been far too chipper. There was no way she’d be able to keep that kind of heartbreak out of her voice. I didn’t even know where my phone was, so I couldn’t check to see if she’d tried to contact me since then. I felt like the worst friend in the world.
“I’m sorry” I said softly.
Jay nodded once, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge my words.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.
Surprisingly enough, it was Mark who tactfully broke the awkward silence. Beneath his façade of ignorance, he was extremely intelligent and observant.
Standing up, he drew all eyes in the room as he stretched his arms over his for a long minute, making loud baby dinosaur noises. I could sense the rest of us eyeing him with vague suspicion. You just never knew with Mark.
“Let’s play Monopoly” he announced.
Silence.
We continued to stare at him as his eyes darted between us with excitement. “Monopoly?” I asked.
He nodded enthusiastically.
“Why?” Nick sounded almost tentative.
Mark obligingly ticked off the reasons on his fingers. “One; Monopoly is my bitch. Two; we have hours to kill before we need to even think about going out. Three; I don’t want to just sit here in silence…I don’t like you guys enough to do that. Four; we could always go do something productive but by the time we actually decided what to do, there wouldn’t be enough time to enjoy it. Five; I’m actually far too lazy to leave the apartment, and I know Shannon is, too.”
I scowled at that, earning me a quick grin and a wink.
“Finally, six; we’re all pretty broke, so let’s not waste the few pounds we have to rub together.”
Silence.
“That’s an impressive list” Jay finally said, looking almost surprised at Mark’s mental prowess.
I couldn’t help but agree…he came up with a lot of reasons in a short amount of time.
“Insightful” I nodded.
Nick chuckled, “who knew your brain could run that fast.”
A mouthful of cushion effectively cut off his laughter. I glared at Mark’s innocent face, having had to dodge the projectile.

As it turned out, Monopoly wasn’t Mark’s bitch at all. In fact, it was the other way around. He was absolutely terrible – making awful decisions right from the start. He couldn’t have played worse if he’d been doing it on purpose. I strongly reconsidered my earlier thought that he was intelligent, though I had to admit it took talent to be that bad at a game that didn’t even require much skill to begin with.
I hadn’t even known we owned Monopoly, but nevertheless a dusty box was dredged up from somewhere.
We weren’t far into the game before I began wishing we hadn’t let Mark talk us into playing.
Mark was so bad that Jay actually surmised – completely seriously – that his brain must be disabled, and that it belonged in a wheelchair. Nick turned out to be one of those really angry players that was more unlucky than anything, and made sure to gripe about every move he made.
Jay won, of course; by quite a bit, too. No surprises there. He was the embodiment of a Dark Horse. He didn’t talk much, but he was always listening, always taking things in.
I felt sad when I thought of how his relationship with Nikki had ended. He deserved to be happy.

Finally, Nick slumped back in his seat with a petulant glare in Jay’s direction. “Fine, whatever, you win. I give up.”
I rolled my eyes, standing up and stretching my stiff limbs. Monopoly, it seemed, brought out the best, and worst, in people. I bent over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.
“Don’t be a sore loser” I smiled.
He muttered something but seemed to have perked up, if his reluctance to let me pull away was anything to go by. I patted my depressingly empty stomach and surveyed my friends. “Jay, would you please tidy all this up?” I gestured at all the Monopoly pieces strewn about. Some money had even ended up over by the front door, though I had absolutely no recollection of that happening.
“Nick, there’s a pizza in the freezer. Can you put it on to cook? I’m starving.”
He nodded and headed for the kitchen, empty tea cups in hand. I turned to Mark.
“What should I do?” He asked eagerly.
I gave him a once-over, supressing a smile as I pretended to think about it. “
Sit there and don’t hurt yourself…or break anything” I told him in mock seriousness.
“Ha-ha” he said drily as he sat forward to help Jay gather up all the money and fold the board, putting things neatly in the box.
It was nice to be in charge.

I went to look for my phone.
I eventually found it on the floor beside my bed. I was faintly surprised I hadn’t stood on it when I got up. That sort of thing would be just my luck. I blew some dust off the screen – yeah, my room was way overdue a clean – and checked my missed calls. Sure enough, there were a few from Nikki, one from my mother, and one from Conor.
Like my family, I’d been avoiding him. It hadn’t been completely intentional, but all the same, I hadn’t seen or talked to him since the funeral. Only a few short months ago, the thought of not having any sort of contact with him for so long would have been inconceivable to me. A wave of sadness and regret washed over me, and for a moment, I just sat on the edge of my bed; eyes closed, hands clutching my phone tightly.

With an effort, I pushed the feelings aside. I was sick of always being sad. I called Nikki first, but she didn’t answer. I left her a message telling her I was going out tonight – no need to specify with whom – and did she want to meet up tomorrow after class. I hoped she was free. She’d been such a good friend to me, and I wanted to return the favour and be there for her as much as I could.
Next, I called Conor. My finger hovered over the call button, wondering if I should just leave it for another time. I was aware of the three people waiting in the other room. But then I realised that it would be rude not to return his call. It was bad enough that I’d been ignoring my family for weeks. Not letting myself change my mind, I pressed call and held the phone to my ear, letting out a shaky breath.

He picked up almost immediately.
“Shannon” he said.
I didn’t - couldn’t - miss the overwhelming note of relief in his voice.
“Hey” I replied, surprised I could even talk past the sudden lump in my throat.
“Are you alright? Where have you been? Nobody’s been able to get through to you.”
I could barely keep up with his questions, the speed he was talking. It didn’t surprise me in the least that he’d obviously been in touch with my family. They’d always liked him.
“I know; I’m sorry. I sort of…avoided everyone for a while.” That was putting it lightly, but I didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily.
He was silent for a minute, and I could tell he wanted to ask about a million questions. Thankfully, he didn’t. He knew me well enough to know that there was no point in pushing me for answers.
“But, you’re okay now?” He asked hesitantly.
I stopped myself from letting out a bitter laugh. Would I ever be ‘okay’ again?
“I’m as well as can be expected. I’m a lot better than I was, though.” I paused. “Nick helped. He…helped, that’s all.” I finished lamely.
Another understatement, but I didn’t feel like explaining further.

Again, Conor was silent for a moment. “So you two have worked everything out, then?”
“Yup.”
Succinct was obviously the theme of this conversation. I sighed at my sudden inability to make conversation.
Conor chuckled. “Did he finally ask you out?”
“Umm…why would you say that?”
My hand twitched with the urge to smack myself. What the hell was wrong with me? I sighed again, knowing that any attempt to answer that would take all day. He laughed, loudly, too. Good to know I was so amusing.
“Come on, Shannon. I know you’re not that stupid” he said when he could speak coherently again.
“Okay, fine, he asked me out” I admitted.
“And you said yes.”
It wasn’t a question. I answered anyway. “Yes.”
“I’m happy for you. It’s about time the two of you stopped acting like complete idiots.”
I fiddled with the ends of my hair as I tried to think of how to work my next question. I didn’t want to seem too awkward. “Umm, I was just wondering if you…” I stumbled over my words.
I could practically hear Conor’s smile. “You want to know if I like him.”
Again, it wasn’t a question. I nodded, then realised he couldn’t see me. Even so, my affirmation clearly wasn’t needed.
“I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never exactly seen him at his best, and I’m sure part of me will probably always hate him for the way he treated you when I came to visit, but at the same time, anyone can see how much he adores you.
“I respect how much he’s been there for you in the last while, and he did apologise to me…so yes, I suppose I do like him, as much as I can considering I barely know the guy.”

I hadn’t realised I’d been holding my breath. I wouldn’t lie and say that his opinion would change my feelings for Nick in any way. I mean, I wasn’t about to break up with him just because one of my friends didn’t like him. But that being said, his approval meant a lot to me. I was still thinking about it, when he spoke again.
“I think he’d probably like me a lot more, too, if he knew I had a girlfriend.”
I think my mouth may have fallen open with shock. “Was that your way of slipping the fact that you now have a girlfriend into the conversation?” I asked a little weakly, my mind still reeling.
He chuckled. “Yep, I was trying to be smooth about it.”

His words finally hit me; he had a girlfriend! I had to stop myself from squealing with delight. I made myself comfortable on my bed as I settled in for a good, long gossip. I bombarded him with questions.
I vaguely remembered Nick popping his head into the room, but I waved him away without listening, too absorbed in my conversation with Conor. I’m pretty sure he scowled at me before slamming back out of the room. He’d get over it.
Finally, I stood up, my legs cramping from sitting cross-legged for so long. I stretched; a silly grin on my face as we began to say our goodbyes. I was loath to hang up the phone, but I knew we would talk again soon.
“Make sure you say hi to Lisa for me” I said enthusiastically as I returned to the living room, referring to his new girlfriend. Even thinking the word made excitement rush through me.
Conor chuckled, “Well, say hi to Nick for me.”
I glanced around the room. Everyone was still in their usual seats. I walked straight over to Nick.
“Use protection” I said to Conor as solemnly as I could manage as I practically jumped into Nick’s lap, happily making myself comfortable.
Conor’s laughter was loud and happy. “I’m probably the one who should be saying that to you.”
I hadn’t mentioned the night before to Conor…maybe he was telepathic? Or maybe he was just using common sense and guessing. Who knew?
Now it was my turn to laugh. “Goodbye.”

When we hung up, I snuggled close to Nick, an involuntary smile plastered to my face. Nick didn’t say anything, though he slid his arms around me as usual.
“Who were you talking to, Sweetcheeks?” Mark asked curiously as he handed me a slice of pizza on a plate. I’d forgotten about the food. It was cold – how long had I been gone for? – But I didn’t mind; I loved cold pizza. I bit into the slice, taking my time chewing and swallowing before I answered.
“Conor” I said simply.
The sound that came out of Nick’s mouth could only be described as one of utter displeasure, as he shifted restlessly beneath me. I was mildly surprised when Mark made no comment – it was unlike him not to freely offer his opinion. I looked up at Nick thoughtfully, taking another bite of delicious barbecue-base pizza. He stared back at me, his face carefully blank; which of course meant that he was either angry or hurt, or some combination of the two. I sighed, putting the plate with my half-eaten slice of pizza on the couch beside us, having lost my appetite all of a sudden.
“He said he’s very happy for us” I told him softly, but not making any attempt to hide my words from Mark or Jay, who both listened intently.
Nick’s snort was derisive at best.
“He also told me he thinks you’d like him more if you knew he had a girlfriend.”
Up went the eyebrow.
“A girlfriend?” he echoed.
“Apparently they’re taking the same course at college and they’ve been together for about a month. Of course, I’ll need to meet her.”
“Why?” Obviously Mark’s silence could only last so long.
I spared him a glance. “Conor’s one of my closest friends. Therefore, I need to approve of any girlfriends he has.”

On cue, he and Jay turned to stare at Nick, whose jaw clenched as he held me even tighter. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, knowing what they were all thinking.
“He’s already approved of Nick. Now it’s my turn to approve of Lisa.”
Jay’s brow furrowed. “He approved of Nick?”
I could understand the disbelief and the incredulity. Obviously, so could Nick.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You think I’m lying?” I asked in amusement.
No answer.
I shrugged. “He said he could tell you loved me, and that’s enough for him. Also, apologising to him at the funeral went a long way.”
Nick visibly relaxed, pressing a kiss to my temple. Silly, insecure boy, I thought fondly.
“How exactly are you going to ‘approve’ of a girl you’ve never met? Not to mention one who lives in a different country?” Jay asked, ever the realist.
I shrugged again. “I’ll just have to wait until I go home for the summer. The way Conor was talking about her, it seems like they’ll still be together.”

The silence was deafening.
My head swivelled between the three of them. “What is it? What did I say?”
“You’re going home for the summer?” There was a sadness in Mark’s tone that didn’t suit him.
But come on, were they being serious? Of course I was going home. I could hardly stay on campus all summer. I looked at them again, gauging their reactions. None of them had obviously given it much thought, judging by their expressions.
“Yes, I am” I said slowly.
I was quickly starting to hate the silences that descended every time I spoke. It made me uncomfortable, and made me want to bury my face in Nick’s chest, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand.
“That’s always been the plan, guys. How have you not known this?”
Mark pouted, but for once it didn’t make me want to laugh. “But that means we won’t see you for months!”
I looked between him and Jay. “You’re both welcome to come and visit. You can stay as long as you like.”
I had been going to ask Nikki also, but now I wasn’t sure what to do. I’d figure it out another time. Summer was still two months away.
Mark immediately brightened. “Sweet, do you have any hot friends?”
As usual he got right to the point. I sighed, knowing that none of my friends stood a chance. To the best of my knowledge, Mark was extremely lucky when it came to getting girls. Keeping them was a non-issue. He had no interest in being tied down, though the same could have been said of Nick not too long ago. Maybe if he met the right girl…I pushed the thought away as it had no relevance to the present conversation.
I focused on my friends again. Even Jay was smiling, seemingly pleased with the invite. It dropped pretty quickly though, as once again, he and Mark turned to stare at Nick. I followed their gaze. This time, he hadn’t managed to keep his face devoid of emotion. He frowned, his hurt obvious, the longing in his eyes painful to witness. Nevertheless, I dredged up a small smile as I cupped his face in one hand. He swallowed reflexively as he attempted smile. It wasn’t the slightest bit believable.

My voice came out as a whisper. “I want them to come visit, in fact, I fully expect them to, but I was still trying to do the polite thing by inviting them. You don’t get a choice, though. You’re coming to stay whether you like it or not.” I stopped, feeling a slight lump in my throat.
“Even if I have to drag you onto a plane” I added as an afterthought.
There it was again, that hope that sometimes filled his face, making my heart beat painfully in my chest. I tugged him down into a hug. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and I sighed, hating everything that had ever happened to him to make him so insecure and lost.
“You don’t think I could go that long without seeing you, do you?” I whispered.
He shuddered slightly, his lips pressing hard against my shoulder as I stroked my fingers through his hair. I’d be the first to admit that I couldn’t spend months away from him, not after being so used to seeing him every day. I just wasn’t cut out for a long-distance relationship.
I glanced over to see Jay and Mark smiling at me approvingly, like I’d said the right thing, or something. For me, it wasn’t about saying the ‘right thing’, so much as telling the truth. Oh, well.

It was minutes before Nick pulled out of my tight embrace, and even then, he had a far-away look in his eyes as if he was thinking deeply. I made no effort to break his concentration. Was that what I looked like when I was day-dreaming? Probably, though I more than likely came across as a lot more vacant looking.
Jay, too, seemed to be deep in thought, and by the pain etched into his features, I could tell the direction his thoughts had drifted in. I mused over the fact that, collectively, we could go from laughing to heavy silences in such a short amount of time, while Mark eyed Nick and I contemplatively.
I almost jumped when he spoke, having gotten used to the silence.
“What are you two going to do next year?”
I frowned, as Nick seemed to shake himself back to reality. “What do you mean?”
“Well, are you going to be living together, or what?” Jay supplied.
I hadn’t even begun to formulate a response, when Nick answered. “Yes.”
Just like that, apparently. I looked at him incredulously. “How do you know?”
Weren’t room selections random? I couldn’t remember the process I’d had to go through when I’d been accepted into the college, no matter how hard I wracked my brains. I must have a bad memory.
Nick sighed, his exasperation obvious. “Sweetheart, you can request a specific roommate, if you want.”

For some reason, that didn’t make sense to me. I knew you could get apartments for up to five people.
“Then why didn’t the three of you request to live together this year?”
I was truly baffled. I mean, they were best friends and they spent most of their time together anyway. It made less sense the more I thought about it, actually.
Jay shrugged; “we lived together last year, but we decided not to this year.”
“Why?” I stared at him.
Did they have to do everything backwards? Most people lived with strangers their first year in college then chose who to room with the next year – I was a perfect example of how normal people did things.
“Carpe diem, YOLO, whatever you want to call it; we decided to expand our horizons as it were.”
Mark snorted with laughter. “Basically, we were very, very drunk when we filled out the forms.”
Jay glared at him and I tried not to laugh.
Nick kissed my cheek. “Well, I for one am glad we decided to ‘expand our horizons’.”
His eyes were bright and his mouth twitched with amusement.
“I should hope so” I told him, my attempt at a reproachful tone falling flat.
Mark glowered at us; “speak for yourself.”
I winced and leaned over to pat him on the knee in sympathy. Poor guy had been stuck living with Lee all year.

The words were out of my mouth before I’d even realised I’d spoken. “Why don’t we all live together next year?”
I was extremely glad when my impromptu suggestion wasn’t immediately met with raucous laughter. In fact, they seemed to be seriously thinking about it.
“It makes sense” Mark said slowly.
“Yeah, we could just request a four-bedroom” Jay interjected brightly.
“We only need three rooms” Nick said stubbornly.
I rolled my eyes. “Nick, the college isn’t going to allow four people to live in a three-bedroom apartment. In fact, there isn’t even the slightest chance of that happening. There’s probably about a million policies against it.”
He sighed loudly and pouted. “Fine.”
He looked like a child that’s just had a new toy taken away from him. I just shook my head, otherwise ignoring him.
“So it’s settled then?”
Nods all around. I stood up, strangely excited for our next year of college, and we hadn’t even gotten through summer yet.
“I’m going to go get ready” I announced.
A lot more time had passed than I’d realised, and I didn’t want to be left scrambling to get ready.

Nick trailed after me, shutting my door behind us. I flopped down on my bed, legs dangling over the edge. Nick stopped in front of me, knees brushing mine.
I eyed him. “Are you sure you’re okay with us living together next year?”
He lowered himself down on top of me, hands braced on either side of me. I sighed as my hands automatically slipped under his shirt. I loved touching him; the feel of his skin against mine.
He kissed me very briefly before answering my question. “I think it makes sense. I mean, I fully intent to sleep in your bed every night, just like we do now, so what’s the point in having separate apartments? I’d just end up moving all my stuff to yours, anyway. Or vice versa” He added.
I nodded vaguely as I surveyed the room around us. Of course he was right. This wasn’t even my room anymore, it was our room, and I didn’t want that to change.
I even agreed with him about only really needing a three-bedroom next year, but I knew - we all did – that the college would never allow it. It just meant that we’d have a spare room. The thought made me smile.

Briefly, I thought about what would happen if we were to break up. It was a scary thought, but if I was honest with myself, I couldn’t really see us breaking up, especially not anytime soon. But did people ever really see it coming?
Other people could always see it; friends and family and the like, but the two in the relationship, immersed in a bubble that they were, always remained oblivious. That or they actively lived in denial.
No, I pushed that thought away. What Nick and I had was different – and while part of me knew that I was only repeating what millions before me had, the rest of me recognised it as true. And that was perhaps the scariest thing of all; that I could see no end to us. I could see us spending the rest of our lives together. In that moment, the future loomed ahead of us, so many possibilities that my heart clenched in equal parts fear and anticipation.
I let out a shaky breath, deciding it would be best to just live in the moment – take things day by day.

I pulled him down for a desperate kiss and Nick happily returned my ardour, his weight pressing deliciously against me as our limbs hopelessly entangled. Of course it didn’t last.
The door burst open, revealing Mark’s grinning face – who else?
“Get the fuck out” Nick snarled over his shoulder.
Mark looked at me; “if I’d known you needed this much help getting ready, I would offered up my services, Sweetcheeks.”
I winked at him, earning me a cheeky grin in return.
“Out!” Nick shouted and Mark bounced out of the room, Jay’s helpless laughter at our expense still audible through the closed door.
“We need to make sure we have working locks next year” I said drily.
He kissed me once more, sighing as he levered himself off me. “Definitely” he agreed, running a hand through his hair as he glared at the door.
I just laughed. Mark had a way of getting under Nick’s skin that no one else did. The fact that Nick was so defensive and possessive of me just made him an even easier target in Mark’s eyes.
I stood up and pushed him towards the door. “As much as I’d love you to stay, I really don’t want to end up flashing Mark, and I have to get ready.”
Nick grumbled as he left the room and I knew for a fact he’d be taking his frustrations out on Mark…surprise, surprise, I couldn’t seem to make myself care. Mark hadn’t as yet grasped the concept that everything has a consequence, and I doubted he ever would.

I tried to make an effort getting ready but I soon grew bored and ended up just going through the motions. Was it too late for a nap?
Finally, I sat on the edge of my bed, face made up, hair as good as it was going to get. I stared in dismay at the heels laid out in front of me. They were a gorgeous pair of black platform stilettos, and a completely necessary part of my outfit – high-waisted leather leggings that were skin-tight and didn’t allow much margin for error, weight-wise that is. I’d already begun to regret the pizza I’d eaten when it came time to pull them over my hips. Guys had it so much easier, I thought with a sigh as I made a mental note to drag Nikki to the gym, and sooner rather than later.
There was a knock on the door, followed by Mark’s disembodied voice. “You almost ready, Sweetcheeks?”
“Just a minute” I called back absently, my eyes still on the killer heels in front of me; killer in more ways than one, unfortunately. It wouldn’t be long before my feet were throbbing with pain.
An advantage of having a boyfriend was that you always had someone on hand to act as your personal pack mule. That thought brightened me considerably and without further ado, I slipped into the heels and stood up. My white top was made out of a plain, gauzy material that hung loosely to my waist, showing flashes of skin as I moved. I sucked in, regretting the pizza more and more. My outfit was not conducive to calories.

Silence fell as I walked into the living room and three pairs of eyes turned to stare at me from where they were grouped just inside the front door. I noticed that all of them had changed clothes and all looked pretty good. Not that that was particularly surprising. I otherwise ignored them as I walked over to Nick and deposited my phone, a tube of red lipstick and my ID into his pocket.
Unbidden, a smile came to my lips at the thought of what his reaction would be if he knew I was mentally referring to him as a mule. I was sure none of my companions noticed, though their eyes were trained on me, following my every movement in perfect harmony as shoved some notes into my bra. It was kind of creepy, actually.
“Are we ready, then?” I asked no one in particular.
Without a word, Mark slowly reached out a finger. I watched its progress in confusion as it moved closer to me. Nick suddenly slapped his hand away, just as it reached the hem of my top.
“Mine” He said sternly.
“Neanderthals” I muttered.
Either they didn’t hear me, or they just didn’t care. Lord save me from male posturing, I thought with slight annoyance. I don’t know why I expected them to act any differently than the myriad of guys we’d run into tonight. I mentally chided myself for forgetting that just because they were my friends, didn’t mean they weren’t completely male – with brains to match.

Nick’s eyes rested considerably south of my face when he spoke. “So yeah, how about we just stay in tonight?”
Okay, now I was officially sick of the attention.
“Not happening” I said through clenched teeth as I headed for the door.
Bad idea, I realised, when I heard the intake of multiple breaths. Now they were just staring at my ass. Great.
“If you don’t stop staring in the next three seconds, I’m going to go change and I guarantee you won’t like my next outfit half as much” I told them without looking back.
I’ve never seen them move as quick. Nick stopped for a quick kiss as he followed the other two past me.
“Love you, Sweetheart” he murmured, and then completely ruined the sentiment by smacking my ass and winking before racing out the door.
I sent a withering glare after them, but they were long gone, leaving me to lock up the apartment.

I trudged after them through the unseasonably warm air. I was used to traipsing across campus at night by now, but everything became that much harder in heels. Nick finally gave up waiting for me every ten seconds when the inevitable distance grew between us, and just picked me up, much to my satisfaction.
He rolled his eyes when he noticed my smug smile, but didn’t comment. I snuggled close to him, enjoying myself immensely. After five minutes of comfortable silence that I spent admiring the view of my shoes my position gave me, I noticed that Mark and Jay had actually deigned to wait for us. How considerate.
When we caught up to the, they made the usual comments about being ‘whipped’, that Nick thankfully ignored as we continued the short walk down the street. He deposited me gently on the ground, keeping hold of my hand as we followed the others into an expensive looking bar.
I gathered that this was only the first stop of the night. We would probably end up in some hole-in-the-wall nightclub with suspect facilities and surfaces that it was best not to think about, let alone touch. All the more reason to drink now, I supposed.

I was on my second or third drink when a large group of people around our age came through the door, talking and laughing amongst themselves. I looked away when I didn’t immediately recognise any of them. It took my brain a few seconds to realise that I did actually know some of them; two to be exact. Robbie and Emma.
I tensed up, scanning the rest of the crowd, fully expecting to see Natalie and Lee there somewhere. Surprisingly enough, they were nowhere in sight. As I was looking, I noticed Emma do a double-take as she glanced our way. She smiled uncertainly at me and I tried to return the favour, I really did, but it fell flat.
Nick, obviously noticing my sudden reticence, followed my gaze. His jaw clenched when he pinpointed the two familiar people deep in conversation. He wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders and I gratefully leaned into him.
“What are their names again?” Jay subtly whispered as he focused on his drink.
Mark on the other hand, stared openly. I saw Jay pinch his leg beneath the table to make him look away.
“Emma and Robbie” I answered dully as I stared at the table.
Nick smoothed my hair back from my face and pressed little kisses to my temple and cheek, slowly relaxing me. I tried to think of something to say, but I’d lost track of the conversation we’d been having.

The four of us couldn’t help but stare as Emma left her now seated friends and walked over. I could tell she was nervous by the way she kept tossing her hair and fiddling with hem of a beautiful blue dress that fit her petite frame perfectly.
A small part of me was glad she was nervous, but I ruthlessly pushed the hateful thought down. I’d never truly had problems with either Emma or Robbie. Their only crime had been in not speaking up when their friends turned on me. No, I thought, any blame lay squarely on Natalie and Lee.
She came to a stumbling halt in front of our table.
“Hi.” Her voice was small as her eyes flickered over my companions before coming to rest on me.
Her nerves were almost palpable and I couldn’t blame her. My friends’ gazes were openly hostile. Nick in particular, looked like he was having a hard time controlling his anger. I could understand, and even sympathise, with him to a point. He’d been with me through everything; listened to me when I needed to talk, held me while I cried, and then to top it off, he’d been targeted by Natalie when he was vulnerable. She’d exploited his weaknesses and used him in her twisted revenge against me. Yes, I could understand his anger, but it shouldn’t be directed at Emma – not like this, anyway.
Perhaps that was why I gave her a small smile of welcome. I felt sorry for her, but I also respected the fact that she’d come over to us. I know you probably couldn’t have paid me enough to walk over to her and Robbie uninvited.

“Shannon…I was wondering if we could, um, talk?” Her question was tentative at best.
I noticed her shoulders tense as if she expected me to immediately refuse, if not just start screaming at her across the table. The image that brought to mind amused me. Nick opened his mouth, no doubt to rudely rebuff her and I quickly squeezed his leg to shut him up.
“Sure, I can do that” I said mildly.
“Bathroom?” She asked, sounding relieved, and more than a little surprised as some of the tension left her.
“Sure” I nodded, standing up.
I turned, unable to move without Nick sliding out of the booth ahead of me. He regarded me steadily, his face shadowed from the dim lighting.
“Are you certain?” He asked quietly.
I nodded once. I wasn’t going to argue with him, not in front of her at any rate.

Without another word, he slid out of the booth and let me past. As we headed through the bar to the bathrooms at the back, I felt multiple pairs of eyes watching our progress. I knew that as well as Nick, Mark, and Jay, Robbie would be keeping a close eye on us. I resisted the urge to glance in his direction, afraid of what I might see in his eyes. I still remembered the disapproval and accusation in his gaze on Halloween; the night I’d first met Ben and he and Lee had gotten into a fight over me. I relaxed only a little when the bathroom door swung shut behind me.
The only other occupant was a well-dressed middle-aged woman who stood washing her hands. Emma and I waited off to one side, an uncomfortable silence falling as we waited for the woman to finish up and leave.

Finally, when we had the room to ourselves, Emma stepped over to lean against the sinks, creating some subtle distance between us. Fine by me.
She cleared her throat. “So how have you been?”
I forced a smile. “I’ve been okay, and you?”
I wasn’t going to fake carefree happiness just to make her feel more comfortable.
“Good, thanks. Look, I’m just going to get straight to the point and say I’m sorry for everything that happened with Natalie and Lee. It was wrong how they treated you, and I’m sorry for ever being a part of it.”
I watched her steadily, not quite sure how to respond. On one hand, she had never really been a ‘part’ of anything that had happened, and I remembered that she had sought me out on campus to apologise for everything. On the other hand, though, I remembered that while she’d been apologising, she’d been looking around her furtively, as if embarrassed that she was talking to me. Also, it wasn’t her, or Robbie for that matter, the apology should be coming from. That should be up to Natalie and Lee, but I wasn’t about to hold my breath waiting for that.
Begrudgingly, I admitted that I did appreciate her apology all the same. She waited patiently for me to say something, and I was still at a loss for words.
“It’s hardly your fault” I managed.
She grimaced. “Okay, I take your point, but I still feel partly responsible. I should have stood up for you. I know Robbie feels bad, too.”
“I don’t want either of you feeling bad for me” I shot back without thinking.
She rolled her eyes and I suddenly remembered why I had once liked her so much. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Okay, yeah. Sorry” I conceded.
She narrowed her eyes, her gaze far too shrewd for my liking. “You’re here with Nick, aren’t you?”
I nodded, knowing the question was rhetorical.
“Are you together now?”
I nodded again.
She cocked her head thoughtfully. “I always thought the two of you were inevitable.”
I frowned. “Really?”
Nick and I had pretty much hated each other back when I’d been friends with Emma. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that it was the end of my association with that group that had really brought us closer together. Everything before that had been tentative; stepping stones, really. From what I could remember, anyway. It all seemed a distant memory now.
She nodded enthusiastically. “Just call it a sixth sense…are you happy?”
I allowed myself a small smile; “very.”

The last thing I expected was my comment to be met with a look of sadness.
“I heard about what happened with Natalie.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, an obvious defensive posture, but I didn’t care. “Did she tell you about that?”
She shook her head, looking like she was deep in thought. “That’s just it. She never said a word. Before I go any further, I’d just like to say that I’m not friends with her or Lee anymore.”
My arms fell to my sides in shock. They weren’t friends anymore? Of course, that meant Robbie wasn’t either – they never made any decision without the other’s consent.
She chuckled at my obviously shocked look. “Let’s just say you weren’t the only one to see their psycho sides.”

I just stared at her, mouth agape. I couldn’t help but wonder what Natalie and Lee had done to push their closest friends away.
Emma sobered up. “Anyway, what did Nick say about, you know?”
I shrugged, feeling myself tense up again. “Not much. I gather he was extremely drunk…to the point where he doesn’t actually remember anything, but I saw her come out of his room the next morning.”
She winced sympathetically, and I was surprised to note the gesture didn’t annoy me.
“I wonder” she muttered to herself.
I focused on her again, intrigued by her reactions.
She sighed quietly. “This is just supposition, of course, but I find it suspicious that she never breathed a word of it to me. I only found out through a friend of a friend, and when I confronted her about it, she just kept changing the subject. In fact, that was the part of what made me dislike her so much; the thought that she could do something like that…but I digress.
“The thing about Natalie is that she’s a bit of a liar – always has been. Sometimes it’s small stuff, and sometimes, well, it’s not-so-small stuff. You weren’t friends with her for that long, all things considered, so you probably wouldn’t have noticed, and she also would have wanted to make a good impression.” She stopped talking, as if struggling to put her thoughts into words.
I was pretty sure I could see the direction she was going in. “So basically, you’re saying…” I trailed off when she shrugged.
“Officially, I’m not saying anything. It’s difficult because Nick doesn’t remember anything, but if I were you, I’d have my doubts.”
I felt like I’d had the wind knocked out of me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my hair was turning grey from sudden stress as thoughts flew across my mind almost too fast to catch.
Eventually, I sighed, shoulders slumping. “It’s a nice thought, it really is, but I don’t want to get my hopes up, you know? I’ll likely never know either way - Nick doesn’t remember, and I’d rather not talk to Natalie.” I paused. “We’re in a really good place right now, and I don’t want to jeopardise that by dwelling on the past.”
She nodded in complete understanding. “Don’t worry, I get it. I just thought you should know.”
“I appreciate you telling me, thank you” I told her sincerely.
She waved away my thanks and silence fell.

I was just about to make my excuses to leave – it had been surprisingly nice to talk to her, but I knew the others were waiting for me – when she spoke again. “Also, I heard about your brother, and I just wanted to say I’m really sorry.”
As usual, any mention of Ryan made the ever-present ball of pain in my chest swell, but I pushed down the rising tide of sadness that always seemed to be there, simmering just below the surface.
“Thanks. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, but I’m managing. I’d be lost without Nick, though.” I stopped myself before I could say anything else, or break down completely.
Emma thankfully ignored the tremor in my voice. I smiled weakly. “First Nick and Natalie, and now this…does everyone know everything about me?”
She chuckled humourlessly. “It’s a small world. You know that.”
I nodded in agreement. “That I do.”
I took a hesitant step towards her. “I better get back.”
“So should I. Robbie will be wondering if we fell down a drain.”
I laughed. “He and Nick will send in a search party if we don’t hurry up.”
I’d barely finished talking when she threw her arms around me in a tight hug. I was quite a bit taller than her, so I crouched awkwardly to return the embrace.
“I’m sorry again” she said quietly as we pulled apart.
I shrugged. “It’s okay. Thanks for telling me about…everything.”
I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, and deliberately left Ryan out of the conversation, but she understood.
“You’re welcome” she smiled.

We left the bathroom together and as I passed by her table, murmuring my goodbye, I once again felt Robbie’s eyes on me. Not as apprehensive now that I’d talked to Emma, I allowed myself to look over at him. I smiled shyly and he nodded in return, the barest hint of a smile on his lips. That’s good enough for me, I thought with satisfaction as I continued on past the table.
Nick, Mark, and Jay didn’t bother to hide their stares as I made my way back over to them. Nick slid out of the booth to let me in. I sat beside Jay, adjusting my position as Nick wrapped an arm around me.
“What was all that about?” Mark asked, leaning across the table, his voice low.
I hesitated, wondering what to tell them. Out of the corner of my eyes, I watched Nick shift uncomfortably; his free hand tapping a staccato beat against his knee. I reached over to grasp his hand in mine, a frown pulling at my lips at his obvious agitation. Should I tell him what Emma had said? Should I tell him about my doubts? I wasn’t sure that rehashing the incident would be a very good idea. Not when our conversation had been purely theoretical, and certainly not in such a public place. No, I decided; I’d keep it to myself – for the time being, at least.
I shrugged noncommittally, not meeting anybody’s gaze. “We just had some things to work out, is all. After what happened with Natalie and Lee, we never really got the chance to talk. Everything’s fine now.”
Jay and Mark seemed happy enough with my statement, but I could tell Nick wasn’t satisfied. He didn’t say a word, content to let the subject rest for now, but I knew he’d bring it up again.

Thankfully, the conversation soon drifted in other directions, and I was able to forget all of my concerns. When we left, Emma waved enthusiastically and I smiled, giving her and Robbie a small wave. Nick glanced between us suspiciously, but sent a nod in their direction.
I allowed Nick to pull me close when we stepped outside, aware that it was his way of reassuring himself that everything was okay. I’d drunk enough to keep me pleasantly warm, without actually affecting me.

Just as I’d thought, we ended up in a tiny club with a lot of steps that took me a while to navigate. Despite the less than stellar décor, they played a great selection of old school hip-hop.
It wasn’t long before Mark had dragged me onto the dancefloor, leaving Nick and Jay at the bar. I actually did more laughing than dancing while watching Mark’s antics. The dancefloor was absolutely packed, but Mark still managed to clear a small, but obvious area around us. He was one of those people who didn’t care how he looked, and truly didn’t care what others thought of him.
He danced wildly, legs and arms akimbo, pulling silly faces for me and strangers alike. It was extremely entertaining, and I soon had a stitch in my side.
Every time I tried to leave to go find Nick, he’d pull me back, and if I continued to pull away, he’d retaliate by picking me up and spinning me around until I was dizzy. I didn’t mind, though. We had a lot of fun.
The best thing about dancing with him was that most other guys presumed we were together and I didn’t really have to put up with any creepiness. It made things a lot more enjoyable.

A long time later, even Mark began to tire, his forehead glistening with sweat, his ‘moves’ not quite as energetic as before. I took advantage and grabbed his hand, pulling him through the crowds of people outside. Almost immediately, he spied a group of girls, and with a grin he kissed my cheek and sauntered off. I couldn’t help but laugh when every single one of the girls turned to stare at him.
Leaving him to it, I fought my way back inside, my eyes scanning for any sign of Nick. Easier said than done, unfortunately. I slowly made my way back to the bar, and finally caught a glimpse of a familiar shape leaning against the bar, his back to me. Two girls stood to his left, giggling and throwing him unsubtly flirtatious looks.
I ignored them as I walked up behind him, slipping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his back. He squeezed my clasped hands before turning to face me.
“I’m sorry, do I know you?” He smirked, setting his beer down behind him to pull me closer.
I had to tilt my head only the slightest bit to press my lips to his, my heels bringing us on level for once. The contact was brief; he pulled just out of my reach with a grin.
“You should know I have a girlfriend.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
He nodded vigorously. “Yeah, and I don’t think she’d like this very much” he told me, his eyes amused.
I narrowed my eyes, the two girls beside us sending sharp glares our way. I wasn’t sure if it was because of me, or just because he’d said he had a girlfriend. I found I didn’t particularly care either way.
“How unfortunate” I finally sighed dramatically. “I guess I’ll just have to go find someone more willing to talk to me.”
I didn’t make it more than two steps before he pulled me back against him.
“Ah, Sweetheart” he murmured.
This time he didn’t pull away when I kissed him.

“Where’s Jay?” I asked eventually. I was a little apprehensive of his answer, hoping he wasn’t going to tell me Jay was off with some girl. I’d be obliged to tell Nikki, and I really didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news – it would crush her.
“He left.” His voice was distracted, his attention on his wandering hands.
I stepped away to make him focus, being jostled by someone walking past me in the process.
“He went home? When?”
Nick shrugged; his gaze once more south of my face. I rolled my eyes – I mean, how much could he really see in the darkness of the club?
“Just before you came over. He said he wasn’t in the mood for being out.”
I nodded in understanding, not that Nick noticed.
“Can we go home now?” He asked as he pulled me back into his arms.
“Sure, but what about Mark?”
He muttered something about texting him as he pulled me back towards the treacherous stairs that led outside. I figured Mark probably wouldn’t want to leave with us anyway, so I followed after Nick without complaint, going up the steps as fast as I could.

We weren’t too far from campus – only a few minutes away - so we decided to walk. Well, Nick walked. I was carried, heels dangling from my hand. We were around halfway home when he asked.
“Sweetheart, what did you talk to Emma about?”
I grimaced, not wanting to talk about it. Not when we were in such a good mood. I sighed; “more or less what I told you earlier.”
He was silent for a while as he walked; his expression pensive. “More or less?” He finally said.
I rested my head against his shoulder. “Can we not talk about this? At least not right now, anyway.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll ask you again tomorrow.”
I chuckled. “Deal.”
I would tell him when he asked again. I wasn’t going to lie and I knew it would only hurt his feelings if I brushed him off again. For now, I had a short reprieve, and I needed to get everything straightened out in my head before I could even hope to have a productive conversation.

When we got to our door, Nick held me patiently while I fished his keys out of his pocket and opened the door. He kicked it closed behind us and walked straight through to our bedroom – I smiled to myself when I thought of it as our room. He set me on my feet and flopped down on the bed, feigning a grimace of pain as he rubbed his arms.
I rolled my eyes as I took off my heels. “Don’t be such a baby, you didn’t even walk far…and you offered.”
He pouted, holding out an arm. “I think I need you to kiss it better.”
I laughed as he pulled me down on top of him. He reached up for a kiss but I dodged his lips, reaching down to pull my phone, ID and lipstick from his pocket. The lipstick and ID got thrown unceremoniously on the floor while I checked my phone. There was a message from Nikki. I checked the time; it wasn’t too late, so I decided to reply now instead of trying to remember to do it in the morning.

Nick pulled my legs down so I was straddling him. He groaned when I ignored him.
“Really? You’re going to go on your phone now?” He grumbled.
I smiled at the ‘pity me’ tone he was using.
As soon as I hit send, my phone joined everything else somewhere on the floor. I kissed him eagerly, my fingers already flicking open the buttons of his shirt. I pressed little kisses down his neck to his exposed chest and he lay back with a satisfied smile.
“That’s better. Maybe I should just lie here and let you do all the work.”
I sat up abruptly, cocking my head slightly, as if listening for something. “Was that my phone I heard?” I leaned over, pretending to look for it, and he flipped us instantly, letting his weight press against me.
“No phones” he growled, cutting off my laughter with a kiss.
He ran his hands over my leather-clad legs. “I really love these…you should wear them more often.”
I giggled as his fingers brushed a ticklish spot on my hip. “You won’t like them as much when you realise that they’re practically a chastity belt.”
They weren’t going to be easy to get off.
His eyes lit up with the challenge as he hooked his fingers around the waistband. “I’ll cut them off if I have to.”