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Secret 36
Dear ‘Charlie’,
If I could even tell you what I thought, you would be here for quite some time. I find myself thinking about you every day and that scares the shit out of me.
I want your happiness above my own, isn’t that sick and twisted after you’ve done nothing for me? You haven’t given me any reason to fall for you over and over again. I know I won’t be caught, but I find myself looking into your green eyes and falling all over again. Maybe I think that you will finally realize and catch me, but of course not. It’s not in your nature to see me as more than your best friend.
Gabe thought it was obvious. He knew I liked you even before I told him. Everyone on the face of this planet seems to know, maybe you do too. I wouldn’t know because I haven’t talked to you since school ended weeks ago. Everyone tells me how it’s written across my forehead, but you only see what you want to see, don’t you?
You wouldn’t understand why I can’t sleep because of you, or how much I think about you. I have a daily reminder sitting on my desk of all the laughter we shared, and Bella thinks it’s hurting me even more.
I find myself comparing you with other without even thinking twice.
I find myself telling my friends about all the things I like and don’t like about you.
I hate you for that, but I know that I couldn’t hate you if I tried. I couldn’t turn my back from you and pretend that our friendship never happened. I tried that, and failed miserably.
I want your happiness more than I want the sun to shine tomorrow. If that means I have to leave your life, then I’ll go.
You make me feel sick, wrong. I am twisted to your mold, but you have no idea.
And I’m sorry that I won’t ever be the way you want me to be.
I’m sorry that I fell this hard for you.
Forever,
Mel
If I could even tell you what I thought, you would be here for quite some time. I find myself thinking about you every day and that scares the shit out of me.
I want your happiness above my own, isn’t that sick and twisted after you’ve done nothing for me? You haven’t given me any reason to fall for you over and over again. I know I won’t be caught, but I find myself looking into your green eyes and falling all over again. Maybe I think that you will finally realize and catch me, but of course not. It’s not in your nature to see me as more than your best friend.
Gabe thought it was obvious. He knew I liked you even before I told him. Everyone on the face of this planet seems to know, maybe you do too. I wouldn’t know because I haven’t talked to you since school ended weeks ago. Everyone tells me how it’s written across my forehead, but you only see what you want to see, don’t you?
You wouldn’t understand why I can’t sleep because of you, or how much I think about you. I have a daily reminder sitting on my desk of all the laughter we shared, and Bella thinks it’s hurting me even more.
I find myself comparing you with other without even thinking twice.
I find myself telling my friends about all the things I like and don’t like about you.
I hate you for that, but I know that I couldn’t hate you if I tried. I couldn’t turn my back from you and pretend that our friendship never happened. I tried that, and failed miserably.
I want your happiness more than I want the sun to shine tomorrow. If that means I have to leave your life, then I’ll go.
You make me feel sick, wrong. I am twisted to your mold, but you have no idea.
And I’m sorry that I won’t ever be the way you want me to be.
I’m sorry that I fell this hard for you.
Forever,
Mel