I've Hoped For Change, It Gets Better Everyday

I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, unable to shut off my mind. What was I doing? Jack hadn’t wanted me just a few weeks ago, and now he’s professing his love for me? And I’d let him tell me these things, falling for every word like some naive little girl. What’s wrong with me?

“Abby, stop moving around so much and get some sleep,” Jack muttered.

I narrowed my eyes, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “Shut up, I don’t want to hear it.”

I saw Jack’s figure sit up in the dim lighting. “Why are you snappy?” He asked cautiously.

I sat up in my own bed and looked at him. “Seriously?”

“Uh, yeah… you were fine two minutes ago,” Jack pointed out. “What’s wrong?”

I sighed. “Nothing, sorry, I just can’t sleep.” I was being ridiculous, right?

“Why not?”

“Why are you asking me all these questions?” I snapped. Jack was being annoying and it was pissing me off.

“Why are you fighting me about asking you questions?”

“Why… why are you suddenly in love with me?” I finally asked.

“What are you talking about?” Jack shook his head in confusion.

“Why now? Why the hell would you hurt me so much, then turn around and tell me we’re meant to be?” My voice cracked near the end of my sentence and my eyes welled with tears. Jack was silent for a second.

“Are-are you crying?” Jack asked quietly.

“N-no,” I stuttered, sniffling. Jack sighed, stood up, and trailed to the bed next to me.

“Why are you crying, babe?” he asked gently, putting a hand under my chin.

“Don’t call me babe.” I pushed him away and grabbed my comforter, walking over to the window. The moonlight had washed the world outside with a milky glow. The sky was so beautiful, speckled with stars. I pushed open the window and stepped out, careful not to trip myself over.

Jack followed me out onto the roof, sitting next to me as I wrapped the blanket around me. The air had a bite to it, but the chill was bearable. Jack attempted again to pull me into his arms, but again I refused.

“I don’t get it! What’s wrong? Why are you mad at me?” Jack asked in frustration.

“Everything’s wrong,” I answered. “This situation is wrong. I cared about you so much, and you knew about it, but you didn’t want me. And now look at us; here you are, trying to get with me after you figured out you’re having a baby with my cousin. I just can’t understand why I’m so willing to let you in after you hurt me.” I turned to him. “Do you even realize how much you hurt me?”

Jack didn’t answer for a moment and then sighed. “What do I have to do to make you understand how sorry I am?” He took my face between his hands and looked me straight in the eyes.

“Abby, I wasn’t really thinking about how I was hurting you. I was just too scared to get hurt myself. I was afraid that if I fell in love in with you, I’d end up hurt. It was easier to hurt you before you could break me. I care about you so much, Abby. I finally realized it, too late, of course, but I realized that there's not a single person I'd rather take a chance with than with you, I'm ready to take that risk with you."

"You used the word 'hurt' a lot.” I stated, not ready to really get into it. His speech was moving; I’d give him that much.

"All you got from that, is that I used the word 'hurt' a lot?" Jack asked skeptically.
“You really want me?” I asked. “I mean seriously, honest to God.”

He nodded. “Honest to God.”

I knew that maybe I’d regret it later, but at the moment all I could think about was how much I wanted to call the boy before me my own. “This is going to be difficult… but okay. How are we going to make this work with a baby on the way, Linda, and my parents not wanting me to be around you? I doubt they’d take the fact that we are dating lightly.”

Jack pulled me into his lap, finally succeeding for the night. “Well, we could round them up and tell all of them.”

“Seriously, do you have like, a death wish or something?” I turned slightly to look up at him. “That’s suicide.”

“It’s not. I mean think about it, we’d get it over with and it would be pretty responsible of us,” Jack pointed out.

“It would be very responsible of us.” I agreed. I smiled at him. “Wow, Jack, when did you become so responsible?” I teased.

“The moment you told me my ex was pregnant with my baby,” Jack replied humorlessly. “I have to start getting my life together for this kid.”

I reached my arm back and patted his cheek. “Yes you do, but we can do it together.”

“Promise?” Jack squeezed me tight.

“I promise. But, we’ve both got to make it work right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“It’s not going to be easy, Jack.”

“I know. But we have to try right?” Jack looked hopeful. I nodded.

“Have you told the guys about the baby?” I asked, suddenly remembering the others.

“Uh, no I haven’t… but I really need to,” Jack sighed in frustration. “Shit, we have this kind of gig thing and I think there’s supposed to be some guys from a record company to check us out.”

“Jack, that’s great! Why are you upset? You guys could get a record deal,” I said.

“A record deal means touring, which I can’t do with a baby,” Jack stated. “I’m screwed, literally screwed.”

I sighed, not sure what to say to make him feel better. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my forehead against his. “Everything’s going to be okay. C’mon, we should go in.” I stood up carefully and pulled him up.

“So does this mean I can sleep with you and not on the floor?” Jack asked innocently.

I smiled and grabbed his hand leading him into the bed with me. “Sure, you can sleep with me.”

When Jack was finally settled I curled into his side. “Goodnight Jack.”

Jack chuckled. “Let’s try this again… goodnight Abby.”

~*~*~*~

“Abby! Abby, get up,” a voice hissed in my ear and something tugged at my arm. I groaned and turned over to find Adam glaring at me.

“Uh…. Hey Adam.” I sat up gently, so as not to wake sleeping beauty.

“What the heck, Abby? What if it was mom or dad who had come to wake you up instead of me? How would you have explained that to them?” Adam pointed at Jack’s sleeping form.

I sighed and got out of bed. “I don’t know; it’s not what it looks like. Well I mean, I don’t know… just forget it.”

It was Adam’s turn to sigh. “Mom and dad said breakfast will be ready soon and to come down.”

“Okay, thanks,” I replied. I watched my brother leave before crawling back into bed, lying next to Jack’s face. “Jack? Jack, wake up,” I whispered, stroking his cheek and sweeping back his bangs. His eyes fluttered a little before he finally opened them.

He blinked and smiled lazily. “Morning.”

I smiled back. “Morning.” I kissed his nose. “You sleep okay?”

He smiled at me. “Yeah, I had my girl with me to keep me warm.” He raised his arms above his head, his back cracking as he stretched.

The shirt he was wearing rode up a bit exposed the patch of skin above the waist band of his jeans. Oddly enough, I felt the sudden urge to touch him; feel his skin. I reached out to slide my hand across his stomach, but his own hand caught my wrist.

“That probably wouldn’t be such a great idea right now.”

I looked up at him, confused. “Uh, I’ve got a little problem,” Jack offered. When he noticed I wasn’t catching on, his eyes traveled down. I followed his gaze and finally noticed that his jeans were tented around his crotch. I felt my face heat up as the blood rushed into my cheeks.

“Oh god... I’m so sorry, I –I,” I stuttered. Jack simply laughed and shook his head.

“Hey, it’s okay… I mean it is your fault, but don’t worry about it. .”

“How is it my fault?” I asked indignantly.

“I had a pretty awesome dream that you starred in. It was pretty hot,” Jack answered, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I blushed harder, if that was even possible.

“You’re adorable when you blush,” Jack smiled and got up. “Uh, well, can I use your restroom?”

“Yeah, just… are you gonna do what I think you’re going to do?” I made a face.

Jack smirked. “Why? You want to help me out?”

“God, Jack, no!” I rolled my eyes at him. “Quit being so perverted, you jerk.”

Jack’s smirk grew. “Sorry, I’ll be good. But yes… I have business to take care of.”

“That is so gross and uncomfortable,” I scrunched up my nose in disgust.

“Babe, morning wood is uncomfortable. This situation has nothing on it,” Jack stated like it was fact. He leaned down and planted a kiss on my forehead.

“I don’t want to know, ever, ever again. And at least let me change and get out of here,” I begged.

“You got like five minutes,” Jack chuckled. “I’ll sneak out the window and knock on the door, think they’d let me in?”

I got up and grabbed my clothes, changing quickly. “More than likely, if it’s not Adam. He found us in here this morning and was not very happy about it.”

Jack smirked again. “What?” I asked.

“You’re already changing in front of me?” He raised an eyebrow.

I shrugged. “You saw me in my underwear that one time already.”

“Oh yeah. Well, I feel special.” He looked down. “And now my problem’s worse. Thanks, Abby.”

“Sorry!” I threw my hands up and retreated to the living room to give Jack some privacy and hopefully get the god-awful mental images of what he was doing out of my head. My boyfriend was disgusting. I smiled to myself at the word. He was my boyfriend.

Jack Barakat was mine. Finally.