I'm Not Okay I Promise

I got dressed and I fixed my hair, I put on some eyeliner and I sat on my bed. I thought about Gerard for about 5 minutes. I heard a knock on my door, I opened the door and I saw Brad. I gave him a hug. I stood up and he stared at me.

"You think that would be Gerard's reaction?" I asked him, he smiled.

"He'd chosen the wrong girl, I'm lucky to have chosen someone as gorgeous as you!" He said and he grabbed my hand, he kissed it and we walked to Nia's dorm. We knocked on the door and we saw Nia and another guy.

"Who is he Nia?" I asked and she smiled.

"He's my friend Ian!" She said and Ian said hello.

"Where did you meet him?" Brad asked.

"He's a friend from my old high school..." Nia said and the four of us walked into the restaurant. We saw Gerard kissing Odessa (PDA) and the four of us sat down.

"Everybody here?" Odessa asked as she giggled while Gerard kissed her neck.

"Get a room!" I said and we all started to laugh, Odessa stood up from Gerard's lap and she sat on her chair.

"Odessa, how did you meet Gerard?" Nia asked Odessa, she took a drink and she smiled.

"We're childhood friends in Italy." She said and I thought to myself.

Childhood friends, how can I beat that?

"Wow!" I said and Gerard looked at me.

"Who bought you that dress?" He asked me.

"I bought that dress my girl is wearing, it's from France." He said and I gave him a short French kiss.

"Merci mon amour!" I said as I broke the kiss.

"Woah! you speak French?" Ian asked.

"Oui, je suis francais!" I said and they looked at me amazed.

"What? I'm French!" I said and we all laughed. The waiter finally took our orders. I took Lasagna, Nia and Ian both took Roast Beef, Brad took Pizza and Gerard and Odessa took Spaghetti. A few minuted later, our food came by. I noticed that Gerard and Odessa have only one plate.

"Excuse me, I think you forgot another plate?" I said with a smile.

"No thanks, we'll share!" Gerard said and he smiled. I saw them exchanging bites, eww! I started to argue with my mind. Then my mouth said something on it's own.

"Tu imbecile!" I grumbled, they looked at me with puzzled look.

"What?" Nia asked.

"I love Lasagna!" I pretended to say that when I really meant "you idiots!".

"Ohh, ok." They continued to eat their food, after dinner we began to talk again.

"So, anybody want to watch a movie?" Odessa asked, I gave her a fake smile and we all nodded.

"Come on let's go!" She said while Gerard carried her bridal style. I wish I picked him instead of Brad! We went to the theater and we watched a horror movie. I sat next to Gerard and Odessa. I can't concentrate on the movie because they were making out! I kissed Brad.

"Can I move seats?" I asked him.

"No, the other seats are taken." He said and I sighed. The movie lasted like a long time! I couldn't concentrate very well. After the movie, we all went separate ways, except for me and Gerard, our rooms are at the same floor. I looked at him with a frown.

"What's wrong Terri?" He asked me, I began to shed a tear. But I tried not to cry.

"You! Like you said last month, You'll be mine forever!" I said as I tried to run. He grabbed my arm and he gave me a kiss.

"What did you do that for?!" I said while crying.

"I treat you as a friend now, nothing more nothing less... I can't be with you! I finally found someone who is like me." He said. I turned the other way around and he tried to look at me. He touched my shoulder.

"Don't look at me! Don't even touch me, I feel like I'm such a fool believing that you really love me!" I said.

"Like I said Terri, I love Odessa." He said while he touched my hand.

"Then why did you kiss me?" I asked him, he looked away then we felt an awkward silence.

"Do you still love me?" I asked him but he didn't respond.

"Do you still love me?!" I said and he grabbed my shoulders.

"I'm just your friend now, I once loved you but you were with someone else." He said.

"Then why did you kiss me?!" I said and he hugged me.

"I wanted to calm you down." He said and he tried to kiss my cheek but I looked away. My face became blank. I shoved him away from me.

"So that's what it's all about, you're giving me hugs and kisses with no purpose or meaning, not even emotion!" I said as I broke free from his grasp.

"Terri please?" He said while trying to run after me. I looked back at him with anger on my face.

"I don't love you anymore! I loved you but now you mean nothing to me!" I said as I ran to my room.

"Why?" He asked me.

"Isn't it obvious! You don't like me anymore! Why should I waste my feelings for someone who doesn't care about me!" I said and I started to cry.

"I can't be with you Terri." He said. I opened the door.

"I thought groups don't mean a thing to you?!" I said as I slammed the door shut on his face, I fell to the floor crying.

"I still love you Terri, but as a friend." He said as he got up.

"But why did you change so fast! Why did you love me anyway... Give me a reason!" I shouted out, he didn't answer again.

"What?! Is it because of me, or is it because of my body? All the guys like me because of that right? Right?! Are you just like them?" I said as I sat on my bed wiping my tears.

"I love you because of you!" He said and I opened the door, he hugged me tight.

"I'm sorry Terri." He said as he wiped away my tears.

"It's ok..." I said as I shoved him away.

"Are we ok?" He asked me. I nodded and I looked at him.

"I'll just go on with us being friends." I said and he kissed my forehead.

"You ok now?" He asked me and I nodded.

"Well then, goodnight Terri." He said as he slowly closed the door.

"Goodnight, Gerard." I said as I drifted off to sleep.