I'm Not Okay I Promise

After that brief conversation with Brad, I went back to my dorm, since I've only used a pay phone at the park entrance. It was nice to hear from Brad again, but 1/8 of myself didn't like to hear from him, to wish that he wouldn't come back.

I've had some dreams and thoughts, in my dreams I see myself handcuffed, no clothes, stuck in a familiar room, a guy in a mask... Touching me, making me scream, hurting me. In those nights I often cry, it was like my dreams will someday come true. They actually shouldn't be called dreams... They're nightmares.

And in my thoughts, intuitions as they call it, there was something about Brad that makes me want to lock myself into my room, to keep myself safe from whatever he has in store for me. But I think I should ignore those thoughts, there's something good about Brad that tells me that he would never hurt me. I sigh as I trash these thoughts.

"Terri." I heard Gerard's voice from afar, I turn back to see him, he's smiling. His perfect smile made me walk up to him, to forget about what I'm currently thinking of, to forget about my suspicions about Brad.

"Hi Gerard." I told him, smiling back at him.

"You seem to be stuck inside your own thoughts." He said and I nodded.

"I miss you." I said.

"I miss you too..." He said, it's only been a day since I've last talked to him.

"What have you been thinking of?" He asked, and I smiled.

"Uh, just the winter break... Brad coming back in a few days, the dance... My dreams." I told him, I realized what I just said, My dreams?! He shouldn't know!

"Dreams?" He asked, looking puzzled at the last words that slipped through my mouth.

"You know, what I want to do when I grow up..." I lied, he just nodded.

"So what do you wanna be?" He asked.

"Journalist maybe or an actress." I said, the actress part isn't really true... I just made it up, my mom said I should try acting, since I've been great with crying and shit. I hate actors and actresses! They always brag and act nicely when they're with fans.

"How about you?" I ask, he shrugged.

"Maybe a comic book artist... Or maybe a member of a great band... I don't know, maybe I'll stick to comics." He said.

"Wow." I said.

"Yeah."

"Wanna go for a swim?" He asks out of nowhere, I shrugged.

"Let's check if the pool ain't crowded." I said, we walked west, passing by the clinic and some other dorms. I smiled when he held my hand, I could imagine that we look like some normal old teens, in love with each other. Holding hands. We reached the pool in a matter of minutes, disappointingly, it's crowded.

"Oh." He said, frowning.

"We can come back later, we could even invite the other guys." I said, he nodded.

"So, I'll see you later then?" He said.

"Yup." I nodded, we walked our separate ways as I went to Nia's dorm.

"Hi Nia." I said as I walked in, she looked bored. She just sat there on her bed.

"Hi."

"You don't have any school paper business today?" I asked, she shook her head.

"Why don't we go for a swim?" I asked, she began to laugh.

"Sure, just make sure that you won't faint or drown again." She said mockingly.

"I'm serious." I said plainly, she stopped laughing. She then nodded.

"Ok, so we should invite Monica and Frank, Ray and Melinda, Bob, Mikey and... Ian." She said.

"Ian called earlier, he said you two could go out tomorrow, he says he has a ton of work today." I lied, again. Man I am such a liar! And people believe me?!

"Oh, so the others can come along, you should invite Gerard too." She said.

"Yup, already did." I said.

"Good, Elise arranged a prep meeting two weeks from now." She announced.

"Sure, we haven't heard from her for the last few months."

"Well we should cook something." She said.

"Why not order pizza? Since you still have two months of free pizza from Yellow Cab, after that great review you and Ian made." I said, she nodded, feeling a bit stupid.

"So I should call the others now?" She asked, taking her cellphone from her left pocket.

"Yeah, I'll tell Gerard to ask the guys too." I said.

"Great! I'll order the food too." She said.

"I'll bring the drinks." I said as I went back to her door.

"Terri?" She asked, I turned back to see her.

"I think, I love Ian." She said. What?!

"Oh." I said in shock.

"Don't tell anyone. Please?" She said, I nodded.

"Yeah, sure." I said as I gave her a smile, I opened the door and went back outside. I walked to the store to buy some stuff. On my way there, my cellphone rang.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi Terri." Ian said.

"Hi Ian."

"You ready for tonight?" He asked, I bit my lip. I forgot... I have a date with Ian tonight.

"Yup." I lied.

"I think tonight will be great." He said.

"Uh huh."

"Maybe we could go somewhere special tonight."

"Uh."

"I bet that you'll be so pretty tonight."

"Um."

"I know you'll be beautiful tonight because you're already beautiful." He said, I bit my lip again. I can't actually ditch my friends... Especially Nia.

"Listen Ian..." I said.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"The thing is-"

"You'll be the prettiest chick tonight."

"Ian! You flatter me but..." I said, frowning.

"But?" He repeated.

"I think I need to cancel." There! I said it!

"What?!" He said out loud.