No Strings Attached, Please?

The only thing that indeed woke me up curtly was the shriek that came from a middle aged woman that I seemed to know. She was calling to someone in her raspy yet loud voice and of course, it annoyed the hell out my ears. I snapped open my eyes to pull myself away from my slumber.

I found a red ceiling above me with paper stars dangling there. My head was hammering really bad, so much it made me moan in annoyance. I caught a quick movement in front of me. I shifted my sight to where Kat was sitting in front of her Macbook Pro.

“You’re awake,” she said in the peppiest voice she could ever manage.

“Katherine? What the… what am I doing in your bedroom?” I was confused, how in the hell could I be in her room again? Hell to the no, I didn’t even remember that I crashed at McGregor’s house. How the fuck did I end up here?

“Sleepover!” she said childishly with cheery laugh.

“Kat…” I pressed. I was shaking my head to let go of the pounding pain but it didn’t go. Kat noticed this and ventured to her drawer, grabbing a bottle of Advil and passing it to me.

“Oh wow, thanks…” I sighed in relief, taking dry two pills into my throat. “Kat, why am I here?” I asked again.

“You don’t remember anything?”

I shook my head. “The last thing I remembered was a bitch named Lynn humiliated me at the party….” I paused for a moment. Fuck, come to think of it, Lynn knew about Daddy and Nat indeed told her everything!

“Where the fuck is Nat?”

“Next door, why?”

I groaned and then slid to the end of Kat’s bed. I walked out from Kat’s room and went to the next door presuming it was Nat’s bedroom. Of course it wasn’t. Nat shared a room with Carlton.

I pounded on the door but no one replied. I pounded it again but had come to be impatient, so I decided to barge into the room.

It wasn’t much like a guest room, like I formerly presumed. It was more like a boy’s room. Just what stereotypical bachelor’s room should look like.

I found Nat lying with his back facing the ceiling, his face limply fell to the side of pillow and he wore nothing but boxers. I grunted and then ran to him, planning on something that would wake him up in torture. My eyes scanned the room and found a glass of water.

I grabbed the glass and poured it down on Nat’s back down to his Blink 182 boxers. It only took a second for him to jump out in sudden with a shocked shout. He got up in flash to find how wet his back was.

“Savannah! What the fuck!!?” he yelled out loud.

“You big mouth bastard, I fucking hate you! I never thought you could do that to me! I trusted you!”

He frowned in confusion, clearly beyond confused.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“I never thought you would tell Lynn about my Dad!” I slapped him in rage while I held back my tears. Yes, I was on the verge of tears because I knew Lynn would make fun of me once I was at school.

I tried to slap him again but he held my hand.

“Savannah! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

I glared at him in fury, “You clearly remembered that Lynn humiliated me at the party last night. She told everyone about my irresponsible father and…” my breath hitched in my throat “I trusted you,”

I guess he took the hint and loosened his grasp on my hand just to make me slap him again. This time, harder.

“Savannah!” he cried.

“I fucking hate you, Nathaniel. I fucki—“

“I never told Lynn anything about it, Saves… I swear to God”

“You fucking liar…” I punched him on the chest.

“Savannah, I swear to God. I’ve never told a soul about your father… if that’s what you mean…”

I stopped and watched him for a moment, battling with my trust and my disbelief for him.

“Please, save me the hassle of that bullshit! If you never told her anything about Daddy, then how the fuck she could know that my father was irresponsible. Everyone at the party knows it now!!”

He was silent and stared at me with his big brown eyes that could make me get lost anytime.

“I swear I never told her, Savannah. I swear, cross my heart. She was probably just too drunk. She was really drunk last night, she didn’t know what she’s talking about”

“But, Nat, you heard what she said about me…”

“I’m sure it was randomly coming out from her. She didn’t know what she’s saying; she lost the idea of letting you down by calling you cheap names. I’m sure she’s just being random, and she probably already forgot about it this morning…” he trailed off as he took my hand and rubbed it softly while I stared at him with uncertain gaze. “I’m telling you the truth. You can always trust me, Savannah. I won’t do that to you…”

His gentle voice sent me to the composed mental. My back relaxed and my rage slowly dwindled down.

“You promise?” I squeaked slowly, letting him form a smile upon his face.

“I promise, River…” his smile broadened. Fuck, the way he called me River already threw me to the brink of my sanity. I could scream to the world and told him always to call me with River.

“Fine… I trust you…” I gave up, “So then, why am I here?”

“Your house is dead, and I don’t know where your dad lives so I couldn’t drive you there. I tried to ask you, but you were drunk as fuck, Saves…”

“I thought I’d come home with Cam. He would carry me to Daddy” I grabbed a pillow and then hugged it.

Nat winced at the mention of Cam’s name. “Geez, you even told him where your dad lives. You can’t be that serious…” he commented as he got off from his bed. He complained and cursed at himself how wet his boxers were so he trudged up to his wardrobe.

“He’s my boyfriend, Nat. In case you haven’t noticed.”

Nat rummaged through his wardrobe and then turned his head over his shoulder to me, “I know you, Savannah. You don’t date. The last guy who you’ve ever been serious with was Dante.” Damn, he knew me too well.

I pursued my lips into a thin line, “I’m being serious, I’m dating Cam at the moment. I’m serious with him…”

Nat scoffed in disdain, “Okay, but you don’t love him. Not even close to liking him. You only use him for rebound fucks him, right?”

What was he talking about rebound fucks?!

“I do love him, Nat!”

Nat paused and then turned back to me with wide smirk, “Funny, with what you said to me last night didn’t do it much justice, stop lying to yourself, Savannah…” Nat’s face stretched into the most mischievous grin and I was drowned into confusion.

I could tell I knitted my eyebrows really tight at the moment, “What? What did I say to you last night?”

“You must have been too drunk to remember it,” he still grinned and backed to his wardrobe to find a pair of decent jeans.

Oh no, I must have been saying something bad and probably stupid. I must have made a fool of myself in front of him.

“Lesson one, never ever trust what people say when they’re drunk. They don’t know what they’re talking about in that state” I retorted with my smartass comment.

Nat pulled a t-shirt and put it next to the jeans he chose, “That doesn’t change anything, River” he grimaced creepily, reminding of the paedophiles that always offered smiles to innocent children.

“Lesson two,” I pressed, “Maybe you don’t know, but I’m always saying stupid and intolerant stuff when I’m drunk. I’m not serious about anything I say when I’m drunk, so if I said some stupid things that offended you, please don’t take it to heart. It doesn’t mean anything…” when I said that, Nat stopped. He turned to me with weird facial expression that I couldn’t read.

“You call that stupid thing? That doesn’t mean anything because you’re not serious about it?” he asked in his serious tone that could scare me for a moment because he didn’t sound like the previous mischievous Nathaniel I knew.

“I-In-deed?” I hesitantly replied. The next moment, I saw Nat change. He didn’t look pleased with my answer. He looked hurt and upset with it. Oh no, did I say something really bad last night? Fuck, I couldn’t seem to remember any of it!

“Nat, did I say something really bad?” I slowly asked.

“No, forget it” he quickly replied with crumpled face. I must have offended him last night. He was so upset and I felt bad for it.

We fell in pregnant silent while Nat was picking something to wear. I guess he was going to shower. “Umm so... why didn’t you sleep in your bedroom last night?” I asked trying to melt the sudden tension that built up between us.

“This is my bedroom” he simply said with monotonous tone.

“I thought you shared a room with Carlton?”

“Mom moved me to the guest room”

“Why—“

“Since she caught me having sex with you, she thinks I need the privacy of my bedroom. So she gave me this guest room, in case I would have some girl to ‘stay for a night’”

I abruptly burst in laughter, “Oh my God HAHAHA, Nathaniel! That’s so genius of your mom. She really supports your post-virginity phase, doesn’t she?” I couldn’t hold my giggle but I found Nat didn’t take that as a joke. He kept his plain face and then grabbed a towel along with his decent clothes.

“Don’t forget to close the door when you’re done from here” was all he said as he walked into the bathroom inside his bedroom.

I gawked at this because he didn’t buy my joke and throw it back with plain yet upset face he got.

What’s wrong with him! He’s such a douche bipolar!

A moment later, I heard the sound of running shower. Great, he’s ignoring me again for pointless reasons. I decided to get off of Nat’s bed and was about to venture out from his bedroom, but I stopped and came to his bathroom’s door.

I knocked twice, “Nat, I’m sorry, but I wonder if you see my purse?”

“On my nightstand drawer” he simply replied.

I clenched my teeth together at his bitterness, “Alright, thanks…” I said. Then, I came to the side of his bed where his nightstand was. I was close to open the drawer but I paused when I saw a picture sat there.

I took to see the picture and found a sudden pounding in my chest. The picture was taken from the Lake Erie. Nat and Lynn stood near the fence while they were smiling happily at the camera. Lynn wore Nat’s varsity jacket as she hugged Nat in a loving way. And Nat slung his arm around Lynn’s shoulder protectively with a toothy smile on his face.

The heartbeat in my chest quickened when my memory came back when Nat took care of me protectively that night on Lake Erie after I threw a fit about Mom and Mike’s approaching marriage. Nat always said that he loved to be there because it was really beautiful.

The gushing feeling on my stomach was unbearable. I didn’t know why. But I felt a pang of hurt in my heart. He even gave Lynn that jacket. I knew he borrowed it to Lynn, but… but why that jacket? I loved the jacket and when he borrowed me that jacket… I felt special in it because… Damn, I should stop doing this to myself.

That night Nat only took care of me because he pitied me. Of course he didn’t have any special feelings for me. And that kiss he gave me, he said he liked to kiss me – no he doesn’t; he only tried to calm me down and fucked up with my feelings.

Composing myself, I put back the picture and took a deep breath. I opened the drawer in search of my purse. I saw my black purse and quickly grabbed it. I checked it and pulled out my cell phone that was in dead condition.

I slowly walked toward the door while I turned on my cell phone. It took time while it booted system and then surprisingly I saw 7 unread messages, 50 missed calls and 6 voice messages. I gasped; never in my life have I gotten 50 missed calls straight away.

I was about to listen to the voice message but it was cut off by sudden incoming call that came from my Mom’s ID. Oh no, it was her who’s been calling me since last night! She must be really furious that I didn’t come home last night and she probably blamed it on Daddy. I took in a deep breath before receiving Mom’s call.

“H-hello?” I bit down my lip and walked out from Nat’s door after I closed it just like what he said.

“SAVANNAH! Oh God!” it was Mom and her panicked voice. “Thank God finally I can reach you! Or else I would have gone mad!”

“I’m sorry, Mom... I—”before I explained she already cut me off.

“Where are you now!” she didn’t sound furious, and yet she sounded so worried and panicked.

“Nat’s... what happened, Mom? You don’t sound fine..”

“Please, honey, please immediately go to the hospital right now”

“What? What happened? Are you alright, Mom?”

Mom burst out in tears which suddenly made my heart skip a beat. I was afraid something bad happened to her. Please no.

“I’m alright, Sweet Pie. It’s your Dad. He’s in coma since last night. He’s in a really bad shape. Please come here immediately, honey. We need you…” the moment Mom finished, my knees buckled and I sunk down to the floor. I was spaced out to hear her, too shocked to function.

“Riveraine? Honey?” the voice of my mom was still there, but I didn’t reply it but cried bloody murderer instead. Kat who seemed to hear me, stormed out from her bedroom and found me in bad state.

“Saves? What is going on??” Kat sounded so worried and she knew nothing. I couldn’t reply her because I kept crying non-stop. The more I remembered Daddy, the more I cried. The worst was when I remembered what he’s saying about his illness.

“I’ve been coma several times now, and once I get coma again, it’s a final” he said with weak smile that looked so sincere.

I replayed his voice in my mind and broke down. Tears were wildly rolling down my cheeks. Did it mean he’s coming to approach his death? Did it mean I wouldn’t see him anymore? Did it mean it’s his last coma and he wouldn’t open his eyes again? My cries because some incoherent rawr that drew Carlton and Mrs. McGregor’s attention.

Once Carlton saw me, he ran to me and held me close.

“Savannah… it’s going to be fine... Saves...” Carlton soothed me but it didn’t work. Kat looked at Carlton with a questioning look because she didn’t know anything.

“Kale just called me to inform about your Dad, Saves… he’s been trying to call you all night long…”

I sobbed hard and even lost the chance to breathe properly. I gripped Carlton’s t-shirt tightly, I wanted to tell him how tortured I felt but nothing came out from my mouth.

“What happened, Carlton?” Mrs. McGregor asked. Suddenly Nat’s door was abruptly opened. It revealed the fresh Nathaniel who just came out from the shower. Nat was stunned to find I was crying there. His expressionless changed into worry and concern. He didn’t ask the same thing that Mrs. McGregor asked, he was only being a mute.

“Please, Carl… hospital...” I asked Carlton in my fractured words. He knew what I was trying to say. He nodded and then supported me to get up.

“Mom, I have to ride Savannah to the hospital. I’ll call you soon, kay?” Carlton told his mom who had the mixture of confusion and a worried look played on her face. Mrs. McGregor nodded in understanding manner and helped me to the car with Kat. Nat trailed from behind while he still didn’t know what’s going on. He just kept a pace with us and then helped Carlton to be a designated driver.

Kat followed and sat on the passenger seat next to Nat while Carlton still held me close to calm me down in the back seat. I kept crying hard and erupted in never-ending torturing sobs.

Nat drove the car from the driveway after I heard Mrs. McGregor say something to her children to take care of me. I was glad she actually cared about me and let me take all of her children with me to the hospital.

Kat told Nat to make time with the car on our way to the hospital. Carlton still held me close as he made countless try to soothe, calm and make me feel better. Meanwhile I felt my heart was broken. I really wished in my life I still could see my dad and prayed he would get better even it was such a slim chance in his recent condition.

I wasn’t ready to lose him again in my life.