When I Go, Bring Me Back Again

I had waited for second period to carry out my so called ‘plan’ of getting Gerard to meet me after school. I knew there would always be the chance that he just wouldn’t want to go, so I would have to be convincing while not looking suspicious, it all seemed pretty pointless actually. I mean, he was going to find out it was me anyway’s. But in my head it was genius and probably extremely exaggerated and cheesy on the scale of pathetic romance. I wasn’t envisioning it to be along the lines of a fairy tale exactly, but definitely along the lines of comedy romance. The only reason I wanted it to be comedic was for the fact that I had seen enough romance movies to know that it always gets way worse before they have their happily ever after. I don’t know about a lot of people, but I seriously could not afford the ‘storm’ that could possibly be looming in my near future.

Needless to say there was another class that I had lost all hope of paying attention in. Because before I knew it the bell was ringing and it was like I had woken up from a dream, well startled would most likely suit it best. In hopes to find Mikey so I could elaborate on my genius and somewhat overstated plan I raced down the halls dodging people. Happy when I saw the scrawny body standing in front of his locker I slowed down to catch my breath.
“Did you just get out of gym or something?” he laughed looking at me.
“I’m telling him,” he looked at me confused before his face lit up, finally catching on.
“Oh! Really? Well its about damn time, that’s all I’ve got to say.” he grinned turning back to his open locker.
“Well I wouldn’t exactly put it as telling him, more like I wrote him a letter telling him to meet me after school. He’ll show up, and then bam, everyone is happy.” he nodded.
“I don’t really care how he finds out, as long as he’s happy and everything stays normal.” he shut it turning to me.
“I promise that everything is going to be okay.” he just shrugged.
“I trust you man, don’t worry about it. You don’t have to promise me anything, but I do need to go, I can’t be late for class.” he pointed past me before drumming his fingers along his notebook that he was holding up.
“Oh yeah, me too. See you later Mikes.” I waved running off in the opposite direction, cursing myself the entire time. I was not made for running.

I was pressed on time, literally, I had tried getting out of third period saying I had to use the bathroom but I was told no. It wasn’t fair, what if I honestly had to go? All because I was like ten seconds late to class. I swear sometimes I think teachers enjoy students squirming in their seats, it’s like their own personal perverted pleasure. Now I was in fourth period, I had to get out of class because after this I had lunch with Gerard and after that it would all be a lost cause. I shifted in my seat raising my hand, waitingimpatiently patiently for Mrs. Brooks to noticed me. After a good I don’t know ten minutes she finally turned away from the board and nodded at me.
“Um can I please use the bathroom?” she looked at the clock and nodded.
“Don’t think about skipping though Mr. Iero,” she warned, I nodded making sure the note was in my pocket as I got up and left. When I was out of the room I sighed in relief, going towards the stairwell. Pulling the note from my pocket I unfolded it carefully and re-read it, nodding to myself before folding it back up and slowed down outside his locker. Sliding it in carefully I watched down the hall to make sure nobody was there before stepping away from it and headed back to class.

The sun was making everything uncomfortably hot today, I felt like I was being suffocated the moment I left the cafeteria doors. Making my way over to Gerard who sat like usual underneath his tree drawing, I thought of trying to talk him inside.
“Hey Gee,” I plopped down next to his still body, noticing the letter stuffed in between pages of his book.
“Hey,” he replied with a smile, looking over at me.
“How’s the day been?” he just shrugged.
“That really helps,” he just laughed pulling out the folded paper.
“I got another one.” he blushed slightly.
“Ah yes, this secret admirer of yours. What does he want this time?” the blush only grew worse as the words left my mouth.
“He wants to meet me, after school today.”
“Well are you going to go?” he shook his head.
“Aw come on, why not? Are you worried I’m going to be jealous?” he shook his head again.
“Then why not?”
“I don’t know who he is.” he stated as if it was the most obvious reason in the world.
“Well no duh, apparently he wants to change that. I mean honestly, what’s the worst that could happen Gee?” he stayed silent, looking at the paper. His art was long forgotten by now.
“Just go, and if he’s a douche then you always have me.” I smirked resting my head on his shoulder.
“Do you think I should really go?” he asked resting his head on top of mine.
“Duh, I mean come on... you could use the social time.” I giggled. He sighed heavily not moving for a while before agreeing to go. Inside I was dancing and screaming in happiness, because now everything was perfect.

Five o’clock in the back school parking lot was what I had written. But now it was almost four thirty and I was the only one there. Thoughts of doubt had been racing through my mind. Wondering why he hadn’t shown when he told me he would. It could have been the nerves, but he would have called me to tell me that he had chickened out and I had no missed calls or text messages, from him or anyone for the matter. I decided I would wait a bit longer, hopeful that out of nowhere his black car would appear, but it didn’t and after an hour I gave up. Sighing I kicked at the asphalt with my shoes and headed for home, disappointed at the no show. I was more confused than anything, if Gerard hadn’t of called then Mikey surely must have. But what if Gerard had left and gone to my house for some form of support and found that I wasn’t there and was still there waiting for me? Pushing my thoughts aside I decided to call up Mikey, praying that he could help clear up the situation.
“Uh yeah?” I heard video games in the background and tried not to laugh. He was always playing video games.
“Hey um, your brother was a no show.” there was a long pause on the other end, the game went silent not long after.
“What do you mean he didn’t show?” clear confusion filled his voice.
“Uh yeah, I waited for an hour and he never showed up.” I shrugged shoving my free hand in my pocket as I watched cars pass me on the road.
“Dude you wrote for him to meet you at the park. He left like ten minutes ago,” he explained.
“What? Mikey I told him to meet me at five in the school parking lot. I even double checked before I put the note in his locker.”
“Well your note is seriously right here and it says six at the park.” he stated and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“I’ve got to go Mikey. Let me know if you hear from him, please.”
“Wait, what the hell is going on Frank?” but I hung up shoving my phone in my pocket and took off running for the park. Of course, now it all made fucking sense. What Thomas had said earlier, he thought that it was all a joke, a sick cruel act against Gerard. He had to of gone behind me and changed everything. I just had to get to the park before it was too late.

I wished I had a car, or a bike. I should have just told Mikey to get to the park because he was closer. By the time I had made it the park was practically empty. Searching throughout the entire thing did everything but settle the worry and fear in my mind. Giving up I headed for the entrance, a buzzing in my pocket startling me. I yanked it out, nauseous when I saw Mikey’s lit up name.
“H-hi.” I choked answering the call.
“What the hell is going on Frank?” his tone was filled with anger.
“I’m looking for your brother, that’s what.” I replied.
“Well no need, because he just walked through the door covered in his own blood might I add. He won’t talk to me but he sure did voice his opinion on you. So fucking tell me what the hell happened.”
“I don’t know Mikey! Ok... I wrote for him to meet me at the school. It had to of been Thomas... this morning he went on about how apparently he ‘gets it’ or something. It confused me and it confused your brother. I swear to you I had no part in this.” he sighed on the other end and I stood awkwardly at the edge of the sidewalk.
“Look you need to get here now because he’s beyond pissed and I can’t get him to talk to me. I’ll try and tell him that you didn’t do it, but I can’t promise you anything Frank.”
“Thanks Mikey and I’m uh... I’m on my way now.” he gave a muffled ok before hanging up on me. I walked slowly, staring at the cracked cement, anger boiling inside of me. Thomas just had to go and fuck up everything. All of it was working out and then just like that, it’s all probably ruined.

The walk to his house was a nightmare, and it only got worse the closer I got. But when I was inside of it and Mikey had told me that he had ignored him the entire time, I thought I would pass out. There was a tightening in my chest as I took every step down to the basement. My palms sweaty as I reached his door and turned the knob.
“Gerard?” I called sticking my head in, my eyes landing on his hunched figure at the end of the bed. I stepped in shutting the door behind me and walked over to him.
“Gerard, how bad did they hurt you?” I touched his shoulder and he jerked away from me.
“Don’t you dare fucking touch me,” the words slipped out with such anger that it scared me, and I wasn’t sure if it was really him.
“Gee, please, listen to me on this... I didn’t” I tried but he cut me off by shaking his head.
“Just shut up okay? Shut up and get the fuck out here.” he spat not looking at me.
“Gerard I’m serious.”
“And I’m serious to Frank get out of here.”
“No.” I reached out to grab him but his hand snapped up and gripped onto my wrist tightly.
“Ow, that hurts.” I whimpered tugging at it.
“I fucking trusted you. Who the hell knows why, but I did. And I was right, all of it was just a sick joke to you. It’s a shame you fucking missed it Frank, because to them it was a good show,” he stood up, tightening his grip.
“Gerard that hurts, stop it please.” he pushed me on my back pressing my awkwardly bent wrist against my chest. I finally got to look at the bloodied up face of his, my heart aching at just the site of his blood. Only getting worse when I saw the black eye and the busted lip. Cuts and scrapes littered his cheeks and his neck. It was all that I could make out, but knew there was more.
“Fuck you Iero. Get your fucking ass out of my room, out of this house and don’t you ever come back, do you understand me? I am done with you, and your stupid fucking games. You stay away from my brother and don’t so much as even look at him. You’re pathetic, low and you’re the reason people like me hate things like life and happiness. Because all of those things are your fucking fixes for enjoyment.” the radiating hate in his eyes showed there was nothing that I could do, the damage was done and I would have to live with it. I nodded slowly looking at him, the pain in my wrist doubling with every passing second.
“Go,” he let go and I scrambled out from underneath of him running out of the house with Mikey shouting after me.

When I made it to my room I locked my door and I screamed, throwing anything and everything I could get my hands on. Not caring what it was or what it broke. It was the only way I could lose all the anger and pain trapped inside of me. The destruction lasted until I picked up something that I could never bring myself to destroy, Gerard’s sketchbook. I sighed running my hand over the cover, looking around the completely wrecked room, things finally sinking in. I looked back down at it and wiped my eyes deciding that he needed it back, but I wouldn’t be the one to give it to him.

Mikey’s POV

The doorbell rang and I looked at the door, pausing the movie as I got up and walked over.
“Yeah oh Frank, um... sorry about earlier.” he shook his head holding out the sketchbook, the moment I had it he let go and walked away. I stood there watching him until he had crossed the street and had entered his house before I shut the door. Looking back down at it I headed downstairs to Gerard’s room, not even bothering to knock on the door, I walked in finding him in the same spot as last time, sulking.
“He never meant to hurt you Gerard,” he scoffed shaking his head, turning away from me.
“Are you seriously going to act like a damn three year old. Really? Because I thought you were older and more mature then than.” I snapped.
“Go away.”
“No, not until you act your age and we can hold a real conversation.” he stayed quiet and I could only laugh bitterly.
“You know... he called me not long after you left. Wondering why you hadn’t shown up... he was scared Gerard, because when people actually care, sometimes that happens. You know what that’s like right?” he still stayed quiet.
“Whatever, wallow in fucking pity and anger. Believe whatever the hell you want, but I know the truth and I know for a fact that Frank didn’t plan this. He had nothing to do with it.”
“He’s friends with them Mikey, he just lied to us the entire time. He had them write the damn letters and that’s why he wanted me to go so bad.” he seethed.
“Yeah I’m pretty sure that if he seriously hated you still he would have brought this back for me to give to you.” I walked around and tossed the sketchbook in his lap.
“Like I said, believe whatever you want to believe. But I know for a fact that he’s in love with you Gerard, and he was only trying to help. You can’t hold him accountable for what the dicks that he used to hang out with did to you. I know that if he had been there he would have taken the hits and punches for you.” I finished and left his room.