Bastards of Young

We spent most of the meal having small talk and kicking Tre under the table. Billie seemed to be winning Dad over with enthusiasm as he heard stories from back in the day when Dad was in a band. Pushing my empty plate away I rested an elbow on the table and brought my other hand up to scratch Billie’s back. He laughed in surprise as Dad told him about the time he fell asleep in the wrong car after a gig and ended up in Georgia.

“How did you get back,” he asked, placing a hand on my knee in acknowledgment.

“I had to hitch hike to our next show in Charleston. I got there ten minutes before we had to go on!”

“Woah….”

Behind me I could hear Jimmy, Mike and Tre go on about male bonding things like whether Han or Greedo shot first, the opening day game of MLB and accusing each other of homosexual feelings. I could also hear the clinging of plates as Mom prepared to bring dessert over. “I’m going to help Mom,” I said giving Billie a pat on the back as I stood.

“I’ll help too,” he said. I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him from standing.

“You guys keep talking,” I said smiling and pushing his increasingly shaggy hair behind his ear.

Billie’s face broke into a grin. “Okay.”

“So, what do you think,” I whispered to my mother as I put on oven mittens to get the brownies out of the oven.

“He’s a sweetheart,” my mom gave me a nudge with her elbow as she said this. “A little scrawny, I always saw you with some one built more like that Ian boy you brought over last fall.”

I rolled my eyes good naturedly. “You don’t find many farm boys in San Francisco, Ma.”

“Well, he seems like a good man all the same.” It was weird to hear some one refer to Billie as a man. I still felt like we were just two dumb kids trying figure shit out.

“Thanks Mom.”

As everyone dug into their brownies a few minutes later, Dad and Jimmy decided it was time to take off their gloves and get down to business.

“So, Billie,” my dad started. “What do you plan on doing if this doesn’t work out?”

“If what doesn’t work out,” Billie looked genuinely confused.

“The band.”

“Oh, uh – I thought I could… you know….”

“Are you in school,” my brother piped up next to me. I gave him a sharp punch in the knee. “Ow! What? I just was wondering!”

“No, I’m not in school,” Billie took a quick bite of his brownie.

“Have you had any college education,” Dad was looking at Billie with an unnerving lack of expression.

“No, I dropped out.”

“Which university did you go to,” I could tell by his eyes my father knew exactly where this was going. Mike and Tre looked from Billie to my dad as if waiting for an explosion.

“Um, actually I dropped out of high school,” Billie looked down at his plate, slowly cutting a bit of brownie with his fork in order to avoid my dad’s gaze. I rubbed Billie’s leg comfortingly under the table as I looked harshly over him at my father.

“Kind of like you, Daddy.”

“John, why don’t you help me with dishes,” Mom said standing and taking his plate. Dad ignored Mom and kept going.

“I was just wondering, honey,” he said with a deceivingly sweet smile. Giving Billie a sharp pat on the shoulder as he grabbed our plates, he continued, “I’m sure he’s got it all figured out anyway.”

I could see Billie’s good feelings about the night crumble into a fine powder as he attempted to give Dad a reassuring smile. “Peaches,” I said taking his hand and storming out the front door. “I can’t believe him!” I drug a silent Billie to the hammock in our front yard. Lying across the weather worn ropes, I pulled Billie down next to me. He put an arm around my waist and his head on my shoulder. “You okay,” I asked after a minute.

“I thought he liked me.”

“He does. He just is like testing you, you know? Like how your mom did with me,” I started rubbing his back in what I hoped was a soothing manner.

“Well, fuck. I’m probably failing miserably….”

“Just go back in with your head held high… and at least maybe with an answer to his back up plan question… even if it’s not true.”

“Okay.”

“Like say that you’re going to open your own guitar shop or something.”

“I could live with that.” He paused before going on. “You ever think about finishing up your four year?”

“I have since you said I should be doing more with myself.”

“You should, but I don’t want you to feel pressured you know,” he straightened up so that we were looking at each other. “I just want you to be doing what makes you happy.” He broke into one of his wide, toothy grins. “Especially if it’s me.”

“Oh, you make me very happy,” I said returning his grin and leaning in. Just before our lips met the front door opened.

“Okay, you two, cut it out and let’s go,” Jimmy was walking with Mike and Tre on either side of him towards us.

“Where,” I asked sitting up.

“Your brother’s taking us drinking,” Mike said enthusiastically as he held both hands out to help Billie and me up.

Tre was looking at Jim adoringly. “He’s a man after my own heart.”

“Mmhm,” Jimmy looked uncomfortable, but kept going. “It’s all on me. Well. The first couple of rounds anyway, so let’s go!” He gave me a playful swat on the side of the head.

“Won’t they card them,” I said pointing to the boys.

“Nah, I’m in good with the owner. Besides Sammy’s going to meet us there with her new beau.”

I took Billie’s hand as we started to walk. “Sam? In a bar?”

“Yeah, the guy she’s with is a drop out loser that basically lives there.” I was ready to go off on my brother when he caught himself and looked back at Billie, slapping his shoulder apologetically. “No offence against you, man – at least you’re trying to make something of yourself.”

“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Billie said sounding relieved. “And I’m sorry about earlier. We should have --.”

“Fuck it,” my brother said getting in the truck. “I’d’ve done the same thing if I hadn’t seen my girlfriend in awhile. But, c’mon! Somewhere there’s a drink with my name on it, buddy.” The boys climbed into the truck bed as I climbed in next to Jim. “He’s cool,” Jimmy said starting up the truck.

“Yep,” I said looking back at all three of them leaned against the walls of the bed, chatting and laughing. Billie was nearest to me. Opening the glass window, I motioned for him to lean forward.

“What?”

“I love you.”

He started to smile from ear to ear. “I love you too,” with that he gave me a quick peck on the lips.

“Woah,” my brother yelled, “I didn’t mean to give you permission to trade spit whenever you want! Back of the bus, Bill,” Jimmy slammed the window shut, obviously pleased with himself.

“Asshole,” I said amused.

“That’s me!”