Bastards of Young

I checked my watch tiredly as Billie’s laughter rang out next to my ear. Three-thirty in the morning. The guy who was the source of Billie’s laughter continued with his rant on his last girlfriend’s hygiene habits as I leaned my head back and muttered “I’m going to head,” into Billie’s ear. He straightened himself up off of the wall he had been leaning on, causing me to stand up straight too.

“Stay,” he pleaded, keeping his hands on my hips as I turned to face him with a smile.

“Nah, I need to get in bed before sunrise or I’ll turn into a pile of dust.”

“I guess we can’t have that,” he smiled, his eyes still slightly glassy from the illegal substances we had partaken in earlier. “I’ll go with you.” He gave my hips a squeeze before making a move to walk towards the exit of the squat. I put my hand on his stomach to stop him.

“Your boy needs you more than I do tonight,” I said nodding towards an unsteadily dancing Mike. He had a Burger King crown on his head as he wailed along to “Smash It Up” with three other girls who were laughing more at him than with him. Tonight had been an impromptu early birthday party for him since they’d be in Europe for his real one.

Billie bit his lip looking from Mike to me. “Will you be okay going on your own? I mean are you sober enough?”

I nodded, “I still feel a little,” I pulled a face, sticking my tongue out and screwing up my eyes, “but, I’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” he kissed me, “but, I am going to walk you out.” I smiled and held onto his hand as we walked out the door, careful not to trip on any of the extension cords running from the squat to the house next door. “I’m going to call you in twenty minutes to make sure you got in okay,” he said as we came to a stop in front of the recently fixed up car Dan had agreed to rent to us along with the apartment this morning. Tracy had been kind enough to let me take it out first.

“Thanks,” I said putting my arm around his neck and pulling him to me. He pressed me up against the car as we stood making out until some one cat called from up the street. Breaking away and looking, we both saw Tre with a beer in one hand and his dick in the other as he took a leak on the street.

“Hey,” he slurred taking another drink and zipping up before turning and walking back to the party.

“I need to get back on his level,” Billie said shaking his head as he watched Tre disappear inside where “Harmony In My Head” was starting up.

“Just be careful.”
“Psh, it’s me. I’m always careful,” he was smirking as he leaned in to kiss me again. “I’ll catch the six o’clock bus and be back safe and sound before you even wake up.”

“Alright,” I chuckled, “I love you.”

“Love you too, pretty lady,” after one more kiss he opened the door and let me get in before shutting it again. We waved at each other through the glass as I pulled away and as I looked in the rearview mirror before turning the corner he was still standing in the middle of the street, watching me go.

The ringing of the phone brought me back to the land of the living later that day.

“Get it,” I grumbled, reaching out to push Billie only to find empty air occupying his side of the bed. Groaning I rolled over to look at the time as the phone continued to ring – eleven-fifteen. Pushing the covers off of me I got up guessing it was Billie calling to apologize for passing out and not coming home. I toyed with the idea of pretending to be mad so he’d buy me breakfast, but then figured that even if he could afford it, it’d probably be just as affective to ask.

“Hello,” I said with a yawn as I answered the phone.

“Jean, you need to come over,” it was Mike and suddenly I was very awake.

“What happened,” I asked pressing the phone to my ear.

“Nothing…everything’s alright. Now.”

“What do you mean, now,” I started to picture Mike standing in a hospital waiting room because Billie fell off the roof of some one’s house in one of his stupid drunken antics.

“Well, um, he had a bad trip….”

“On what?”

“Acid. It was funny at first,” Mike chuckled nervously, “he did interpretive dance to Kiss.”

“Then?”

“Um, then he kind of climbed a tree and striped naked and we didn’t find him until about fifteen minutes ago.”

“What?!?”

Mike sounded slightly panicked as my voice level increased, “He’s fine, I swear! He’s in his old room with Tre and Jeff, mostly clothed and asking for you.”

“I’m on my way,” I said, almost hanging up the phone before thinking better of it. “Hey, Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for taking care of his crazy ass.”

Mike sounded relieved as he said, “Its just second nature by now.”

Tre and Jeff were sitting on the porch, smoking and drinking Bloody Marries as I pulled up a record setting ten minutes later. “Hey,” I said as I approached them.

“What’s up, sweet cheeks,” Tre greeted as he exhaled.

“Hi,” Jeff said in an uncharacteristically small voice.

“Is he still downstairs,” I came to a pause at the bottom of the stairs.

“Yeah,” Tre started, “Mike’s down there with him.”

“Cool… Jeff, are you okay,” he had been looking at me oddly the entire time.

“He kissed me. He kissed me, but it didn’t mean anything I swear to God.”

I laughed and patted his head as I passed, “I trust you, Jeff.”

Inside I had to step carefully over the dozen or so people passed out on the floor as I made my way to the basement door. “Hey, girl,” I whispered in greeting to Mr. Dixie who was in the kitchen, shifting through trash. She snorted a reply, but didn’t look up. Billie’s door was open and I found him and Mike both in my old bed as I came to a pause in his doorway. Mike was sitting against the wall with his eye closed as Billie lay curled up under his jacket, snoring softly.

“Are you awake,” I said in a low voice.

Mike’s eyes fluttered opened and he smiled, “Yeah. That was fast.”

I smiled and scratched the back of my neck, “I pretty much went thirty over the whole time.”

“Right on,” Mike said smiling and rubbing his right eye.

I stepped into the room, looking worriedly at the peacefully sleeping Billie. “Think we should wake him? Like, will he be alright?”

Mike shrugged, “I mean, he’s not stoned anymore… just kind of spacey. Maybe some diner food and a bed that isn’t a musty bed bug breeding ground would be best.”

I nodded as I kneeled next to Billie’s head. “Hey,” I said soft, rubbing his shoulder. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.” He shifted a little, but made no attempt to open his eyes. “Billie,” I said rubbing his head. His eyes blinked open and he looked thoroughly disoriented for a few seconds. “I’m your girlfriend, Jean,” I said trying to help his head get things straight.

“I know,” was all he said in a distant voice.

“You had a bad trip so Mike and Tre put you down here to get some rest.”

“I know,” he still looked completely confused.

“You just look so weirded out,” I said stroking the side of his face.

“I had a bad trip,” he said as if that obviously explained everything, which I guess it did.

I smiled and leaned over to kiss the side of his head. “Want to go get some breakfast?”

“That sounds like gravy,” he said sitting up slowly. Mike stifled a laugh.

As the coat fell off of it revealed tons of scratches and bruises on his body. “Oh, Billie,” I said running my fingertips over some of the ones on his chest.

“I’m okay,” he said wincing and taking my hand. I stood bringing him up with me.

“Where are his clothes,” I asked Mike as he stood as well. I learned that day that mostly clothed to Mike meant boxers and socks.

“Oh, here,” he reached down at the end of the bed and brought up the clothes Billie had been wearing when I left him in the street the night before.

“Thanks,” I said taking them from him. “You got this,” I asked, handing Billie his shirt. He took it and awkwardly started to fiddle with untangling it so that he could get it over his head. After a few seconds I took it from him and slipped it easily over his head. As I pulled his pants up a bit later he gave me a quick kiss without saying anything.

Mike shifted next to us. “Well, I think I’m going to head back to my place to sleep away our last day home for awhile.”

“Thanks again, Mike,” Billie said with a weak smile as we started out of the room.

“Hey man, no problem,” he gave Billie a playful shove that about made him fall over, but I caught him as we all busted into laughter.

“So, everything’s good,” Tre said from the couch where he was finishing rolling a joint as we emerged from the stairs still laughing.

“Yeah, we’re going to all go home and crash,” Mike said.

“Cool, I’ll see you fuckers bright and early tomorrow,” he wriggled his eyebrows as he lit up. We said our good-byes and soon it was just Billie and I in the car, headed to the first diner we came across.

He was silent as he leaned his head against the window and stared out into space. “I’m so sorry,” I said after awhile.

“For what,” his monotone was becoming unnerving.

“For leaving you. I should have stayed. This wouldn’t have happened if I had stayed or let you go with me. I’m just sorry.”

I felt him take a hold of the hand I wasn’t driving with and give it a squeeze. He looked my way wearily, still keeping his monotone as he said, “One thing I like about this thing is that we don’t try to control each other and whatever. We can be our own people.” He was quiet for a little while longer before saying, “Last night wasn’t your fault at all and in a few hours we’ll be laughing our asses off at it, so buck up camper.”

I smiled as he pointed weakly and made an “Aha,” noise. “Made you smile,” he said as happily as he could.

I just shook my head as we pulled into Sam’s Place, “I get what you’re saying and I like that too – its just you know if something had happened to you –.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t,” we came to a stop in our parking spot. Billie was out of the car before I could say anything else.

“How do you feel about tomorrow,” I asked over our shared Plump Kitty meal of waffles, biscuits, hash browns, bacon, eggs, and other assorted heart disease inducing breakfast items.

“Excited, but I don’t want to leave you,” he said spreading grape jelly on a biscuit.

“Yeah, but the sooner you go the sooner I get great European presents!” Billie had a small smile on his face as he gave most of his attention to the biscuit. I took a bite of toast and continued, “Are you freaking out like last time?”

He shook his head, really making sure he got that jelly on there. “I mean you’ve said the big L and I like live with you and the relationship is moving right along according to schedule, you know?”

“Schedule,” I questioned amusedly raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve got a two year plan for you, baby,” he was still looking at the biscuit, taking a small bite and chewing it slowly before continuing. “This time two years from now we’ll have a kid, a mortgage and an X-Wing.”

“Wow, that’s a lot on our plate,” I picked some eggs off the plate in front of him with my fork.

“I figure we should go ahead and start on the kid. We’ll need lots of practice to get it right, you know,” he picked up some bacon and started to munch on it.

“Definitely,” I laughed.

We didn’t get much in the way of practice done that afternoon. Billie spent most of it passed out next to me on the couch as I watched shitty made for TV movies. I’m not sure when I drifted off, but I woke up to Billie looking back to normal as he rubbed the side of my head affectionately.

“That is nice,” I said groggily. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better and I’m already thinking the whole thing is hilarious as fuck.”

I reached up to run my fingers through his hair, “Good.”

“I made us something,” he said holding up a tape. I frowned unsure of when he would have time to make a tape, we had been together or doing business related things apart since he had gotten home.

“What time is it,” I asked looking outside at the darkness I hadn’t noticed before.

“About eleven-thirty.”

“Shit,” I said unable to believe how hard I had crashed. I took the tape and read the labels. Side A was Toiletside Conversations and side B was Admit It: We Both Want To Do Paul Westerberg. “I thought that was just an unspoken agreement we had with each other,” I said with a laugh after reading side B.

“I just felt more comfortable with it in the open,” he said standing and taking the tape from me. “Come on,” he said jerk his head to our room. His records and mine were still left out as he put the tape into the boom box before pressing play and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. The opening bass line from “Gigantic” crackled through the speakers and suddenly I got an idea of what kind of tape it was as I remembered telling him how I thought this was one of the most romantic sounding songs ever the day before.

“Is this going to be our Let’s Do It tape,” I asked with a mischievous smile. To my surprise Billie shook his head.

“This is our Let’s Enjoy Each Other tape and I guess sex would be included in that, but so would just hanging out at the beach or whatever we want it around for.”

“What else is on it,” I asked taking a seat next to him while looking at the boom box.

“You’ll see as the night goes on,” he said turning my face to his so he could kiss me. It started out as just a simple peck, but I made sure it escalated quickly from there. A few discarded articles of clothing and some fooling around later the tape reached the end of side A with “Kiss Me Deadly” to cap it off. Neither of us made any movements to switch the side from where we laid, curled up together under the covers.

“Do you like it so far,” Billie asked in a small voice.

“Of course,” I said kissing his neck in a few places. “It’s beautiful.”

“Good,” he said pushing me over onto my back, kissing me as he did so. Stopping, he looked at me with a grin. “Can we go practice on Tracy’s bed some?”

“Okay, one – don’t call it practice, you’re freaking me out,” he laughed as I moved on to point B which was, “Tracy threatened to punch holes in all of our condoms if we did it in her bed again.”

Billie bit his lip in actual serious thought, “Yeah, I’m not ready to play with the big boys on that one just yet.” He got up with a sigh and flipped the tape with a shrug. “Well,” he turned back to me, “I guess we’ll just have to make due here.” We were both grinning as he climbed back over me and “Fools Rush In” started to play from the speakers.