Have We Gone Too Far?

I dropped down to the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest and burying my face into them, crying my eyes out at the side of the road, around the corner from the club. Why did they have to react like that? They were supposed to be my friends. They were my best friends that I’ve known for the majority of my life. How could they do this to me?

If my friends can’t even accept me then who will? No one will, absolutely no one. It looks like no one cares about me anymore. Sure there’s Cole but he’ll get over me; I'm just a pathetic kid. PATHETIC! I might as well write it across my forehead. Officially place that label on me; THE PATHETIC GAY. That’s what I am and I can’t do one stinking thing about it.

Everyone hates me; even I hate myself right now. Why did I have to be gay? If I was like everybody else this would’ve never happened. I’d be fine right now. But I had to be some gay freak as they so nicely put it. Maybe Ellie’s right; I'm a disease. I'm sick. Maybe Kyle’s right and I'm a pervert. Ha I was probably only friends with him because I was secretly attracted to him; I mean it doesn’t look like there’s anything other than his body that’s good about him now I think about it.

“Oh shut up Zack!” I screamed to myself.

Does this make me mad now? Talking to myself!

“They were friends. Were...” I mumbled quietly. “If I wasn't like this... they still bloody would be.”

It’s not fair! I'm not meant to be like this. I'm Mister Bloody Popular. I have every girl I meet wanting me, but no, that wasn't good enough for me, was it? I hadto want to need, more than that. I wouldn't settle for just that. I had to go and be gay didn’t I? I had to ruin my entire bloody life.

I wasn't made to be gay! So why the hell am I?

“End this,” I hissed at myself. “I dare you!”

If I jump out in front of one of these cars I could end everything. I could pick a fight with any drunk guy near here and get myself hurt. There’s so many ways to do it here. Heck, I could even drown myself in the freaking river at the back of the club. So many options.

“Which one to choose,” I whispered.

Slowly I lifted my head up to look at my surroundings. Pure darkness; just what I need right now; a nice quiet cold peaceful night. I wiped my face on the top of my Cole’s shirt, but it didn’t make much difference really. My eyes still burned and my face still stung. I felt like everything was over; that I was over.

“Hey,” I heard a voice from behind me say as he sat down next to me on the curb. “Look, I'm sorry for being a jerk,” he mumbled. It was Kyle; why the hell is he trying to make it up to me? “Can we talk?” he asked quietly.

I didn’t want to talk to be honest; I just wanted to get out of here, but I nodded at him instinctively, so it looks like we’re going to have this little chat after all.

“How long have you, you know, been gay?” he asked me.

“Why?” I sniffed. It’s not like he really cares; if he did he wouldn't have acted the way he did before.

“I just... wanted to know.”

“WELL IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS,” I shouted at him, trying not to start crying again.

“I didn’t mean what I said in there,” he sighed. “I was just, a little shocked.”

“Good for you,” I hissed. “But you can stick your no good apology, I don’t want to hear it,” I told him but my voice broke as I spoke and I burst out crying again. Why am I so pathetic?

“D-don’t cry,” Kyle said as he hesitantly rested his arm on my shoulder. “Everything’s fine-”

“No it’s not,” I cried.

I really needed him there; someone needed to be with me to stop me from doing something I’d regret but, I didn’t want to forgive Kyle. I didn’t want him here with me. I know how awful that must sound but I'm sick of letting things slide and... I just don’t know anymore.

“Are you sure you’re gay?” he asked me softly. Who the hell does he think he is? Of course I'm bloody gay!

Violently I shoved his arm off my shoulder. I don’t want him touching me.

“Stay away from me,” I cried. “I don’t want you here Kyle!” I half shouted, half cried.

He looked at me for a moment, trying to work out if I was serious but then he got up and walked away, leaving me completely alone again. That’s when what I’d done sunk in. The only one of them who was sorry; the only one who wanted to make sure I was okay; Kyle came to me; And I just let him go... I'm an idiot. He wanted to make it up to me and I wouldn't let him. What’s wrong with me?

“Zack,” said a very low voice from behind me. It made me jump; I seriously didn’t see him coming. “Good night, ay?” he laughed as he sat down next to me.

I knew now that my night was only going to get worse, and by worse I meant an awful lot worse. The only thing is, right now, I couldn’t care less if Derek beats me to death. I’d probably cheer him on.

“What do you want?” I sniffed, knowing that he didn’t come to say hi and congratulate me on how well my night’s been so far.

“You know what I want,” he hissed at me as he grabbed onto my shirt collar and lifted me up to my feet by it. I was too fed up to even try and resist.

“Just do it,” I sniffed. “I don’t give one anymore,” I cried as he punched me in the gut over and over again.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” he mumbled like a mad man, scaring me a little. “I want to hurt you Zack. So, so much!”

For a moment he just stood looking at me, but then he slammed his fist into my face making my entire body go limp and fall down from how weak and off balance I was, but instead of letting me fall he lifted me up again and slammed me back against the wall. Once again he caught my almost lifeless body and helped it up again; keeping hold so that I had no chance of getting away.

I let out a groan of pain before realizing that my jaw was numb. I brought my hand up to it and felt the blood trickling down my face. Earlier I wanted him to do this to me. Now I wish I got away when I had the chance.

For a second he let go of me, I thought I was safe and that he was leaving as I freely dropped down to the cold floor. Once again I was wrong. I knew I’d landed in glass or something like that from the sharp pain I felt piercing through me. He slowly bent down so that he was at my level and again he punched me in the face; I knew he didn’t want me to walk away from this. This man wanted me dead.

“Let’s get you to my house,” he grumbled as he lifted me up and put me on his shoulders as he carted me across the road.

Why’s he taking me? Can’t he just get this over with? Kill me! Finish this! Tears fell down my cheeks as I considered these being my last moments. The last things I see will be the cold concrete floor outside the club I didn’t really want to go to in the first place.

As he carried me off my body draped over him. If I had more energy I would’ve kicked him, punched him, did something! My head was facing the club door and through the slits of my eyes I made out a female walking out. I tried squinting to focus on her but I couldn’t do it. Each time I tried blood would seep into them, burning them. I stared at her in my barely conscious state; I had to know who it was.

“Zacky!” she screeched running across the road towards me.

The voice was familiar but I still couldn’t tell who it was. Derek stopped when he was off the road and turned to face the girl, which meant I could no longer see her. Their voices were muffled so I had no idea what they were saying but I knew that if the girl didn’t watch herself she’d be in a lot of trouble. Why was she helping me anyway?

Suddenly Derek stepped back a little. She pushed him?! Possibly. Seconds after that I was dropped down to the floor and then everything went black. Maybe from the impact or maybe just from the blood I’d lost; either way I was now stuck in darkness.

***

When I came around again I was still where I was before, I think I was anyway. Things were a little fuzzy when I tried to remember what happened but I'm sure I was here earlier. At the side of the road opposite the club; that seems right.

I looked around a little; it doesn’t look like anyone came to see if I was alright. Then again not many people do these days. If you see someone dying in a gutter you walk on and pretend it never happened because it’s easier that way. You don’t need to make other people’s problems your own.

As I looked a little further I noticed someone lying next to me. It was Beth. What was she doing here? Slowly I turned my body to face her. God that hurt, but right now that doesn’t matter. Was Beth airtight? I looked at her face, her lip was split open but there wasn't too much blood. Was she conscious?

Carefully I held my hand against her neck and tried to found a pulse. Thew, I sighed as I found it. I'm not completely sure but it seemed normal enough to me.

Suddenly her eyes flickered open, scaring me a little but also giving me a feeling of relief. She’s alive; that’s always a good thing.

“Beth,” I forced out, hurting my throat a little.

She looked up at me and smiled weakly.

“I'm fine,” she whispered as she slowly tried to sit up. All of a sudden she started screaming, my heart raced. What’s wrong? Why’s she screaming? You don’t scream for no reason!

“Beth?” I said again, moving my body closer to hers.

“MY STOMACH!” she cried, tightly wrapping her arms around herself. “Get someone!” she screamed at me.

I tried to get up to my feet but my head felt so heavy that I just couldn’t. Shaking all over I put my hands in my pocket searching for my phone. Crap! Cole still has it! Panic shuck through me as she continued screaming.

“Have you got your phone?” I asked her, needing her to say yes.

She shook her head at me.

“He broke it,” she cried out in clear agony.

I ran my hand through my hair; what am I meant to do?

Slowly I sat up and once again attempted to stand. Once more I failed.

“Zack!” she screamed at me, grabbing onto my hand.

How do I tell her that we’re stuck? No phones and no decent humans anywhere near. What can I do to help her?

Suddenly her grip loosened and her eyes closed. What’s happening? No!

“Beth?” I said, over and over but I didn’t get any response. “HELP!” I shouted; someone must’ve heard me. Someone; anyone!

I looked across the road to the club; looking for anyone who seemed safe; who seemed trustworthy; who might show some sympathy for us. That’s when I saw someone I never expected to be in a place like this. As a matter of fact; why is he here? Right now that isn't important though. I need him.

“Cole!” I shouted across the street, hoping that he’d here me.

I knew this was risky; what’s Beth going to say when she comes round? If she comes round? God what if she doesn’t? What if she’s...dead?

“Cole!” I shouted again with a hell of a lot more force. I really need him now!

This time he heard me. Cautiously he walked over to us, taking his time seeing as we could be anyone right now. He might even think we want to hurt him. As he got closer he sped up considerably, recognizing who we were.

“Zack, what the hell’s happened to you?” he asked me, wide eyed when he saw the blood all over my face, almost in tears. “Beth?”

“I'm fine,” I insisted. “You’ve got to help her,” I told him. “She was screaming and...” I sniffed out. “She... but she stopped talking and-”

“It’s alright Zack,” he said wrapping his arm around me. “I’ll get you both into hospital okay? You’ve got nothing to worry about,” he half smiled at me as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed 999, asking for an ambulance.