Love Is Like a Glass Splinter

I guess everyone must run out of luck sometime right? I guessour my luck ran out in the early 1990's. I lost a lot in those ten years.

For me the 90's started out on a good note when I showed up at Erin's house with flowers and ring asking her to marry me, she accepted. Our wedding happened April 28th of that year and it was everything. Slash was the best man, the wedding went well overall with no major flaws. Unfortunately things didn't seem to last long between us, less than a month later we separated and two months later due to substance abuse Steven had to be fired.

Things got a little bit better in August me and Erin got back together after I had driven four hours to her house gotten on my knees and begged her. A month later she told me she was pregnant and I was absolutely ecstatic when I heard, Slash and Duff were also happy for me. Then in October Erin suffered a miscarriage and we lost the baby. After that things weren't the same as both me and Erin took it badly, we couldn't be around each other anymore and in January of '91 we divorced despite my pleas.

After that things went great we were on a brief little tour if you will and my mind was elsewhere the entire tour, and due to that it led to the world famous Rocket Queen incident, I regret that. I over-reacted when I saw the video camera and I jumped off the stage. Less than a month later, when it nearly happened again from me nearly losing my temper, Izzy announced he was leaving. I tried everything, I begged him, I pleaded I even threatened and nothing worked, I even told him I loved him with big fat tears rolling down my face and he replied with I thought I loved you too Axl but I guess we were both wrong. I fucking fell asleep crying that night. Then I thought that maybe if I changed my attitude and did everything right that just maybe Izzy would rethink it, that he'd stick with Guns.

After he announced that I was on time for every show, I even wore a cheap piece of shit watch. Our twin albums Use Your Illusions I and II were released and they sold out and eventually went to the number 2 albums. For a time then I thought that maybe Izzy was going to stay, that he had forgotten about him quitting. That maybe he had said it out of anger and rethought it, and then on November 7th 1991 he left. He quit Guns, it wasn't the same after that, Izzy was the soul of the band and without him it just wasn't the same. I think that was the point in time when Guns had truly collapsed on itself, it was just the three of us originals it was just me, Slash and Duff and both were in serious relationships.

The time ran by like sand in an hourglass for me. The days turned to weeks and the weeks to months, they all meshed together, then Slash eventually quit in October of 1996 due to a little mishap that had happened. We had been drinking one night at the bar and I leant into kiss him and he just stared at me. He quit a week after that incident and that crushed me. Matt, the drummer that had replaced Steven was fired shortly after that and a few months later Duff quit.

And now there's just me of the originals. I'm sitting I'm my arm chair by the fireplace afraid to look in the mirror, afraid of what I had become. Afraid of the unloved, stone cold person I had become. Love made me what I am today. It’s like dropping a vase the glass may shatter once it hits the floor and the big pieces don't do much harm it's the little ones that you have to watch out for. It's the little splinters that get lodged in places that you never expected them too and then once you pull them out, it hurts more than it should. Love, it’s got the ability to save your life but it also has the ability to end it.