Inside of You

We spent the rest of the night trying to forget about Andy and what she had said about me. We watched movies, played board games and card games and made S’mores. The whole night was filled with fun and laughter but I couldn’t make myself have fun fully because the hole in my chest kept getting bigger and bigger and this whole faking my feelings thing was getting harder.

Finally when I told the guys that I was tired, I went up and changed into a tank top and shorts before I went to bed. I didn’t really care if they stayed I mean this was practically their home too and they stayed over often.

John told me he’d be up in a while so once I hit the sheets, I let the tears fall hoping that by the time he’d come up, I’d be asleep and the tears would stop pouring. But they never stopped. They just kept pouring and pouring and suddenly, I couldn’t just shut my eyes and make it stop.

I turned so that I was facing the window instead of the door which slowly opened and then closed. The bed shifted on one side telling me that John was about ready to sleep. He placed his hands on my waist and turned me slowly. I was hesitant but he was a lot stronger than I was so he got to turn me over.

He frowned when he saw me in tears. “Babe, don’t cry,” he said using his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “If you’re gonna keep crying, I’m gonna start crying,” he said mocking one of those overly emotional stereotypes on TV.

I laughed and nudged him playfully to the chest as he towered over me. He leaned on his elbows as I felt him against me. He made the crying stop as he connected his lips to mine. I was in pure bliss and I never wanted it to end.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer and he placed his hands on my waist. He slid his tongue against my bottom lip and I let it enter and let mine play with his. We were just making out when all of a sudden he pulled away and looked down at me. He stroked my cheek and I slowly let my arms slip to cup his handsome face. I gave him a real smile and kissed him passionately.

He rolled over to the side and broke the kiss apart. We cuddled for a while before he sang me to sleep. He did this a lot when he came over to sleep with me. I loved how his voice comforted me and made me fall into a deep slumber whenever I told him that I couldn’t sleep.

The last song I remembered hearing from him last night was something I’ve never heard before. It was probably a new one and I should’ve paid more attention to it but my eyes didn’t let me stay up anymore. I was going to ask him about it in the morning, no doubt.

It wasn’t soon until I opened my eyes the next morning. I looked around to see the digital clock reading 5:30 A.M. I wasn’t really surprised to be up this early since I’ve been up at this hour a lot for a morning run but I wasn’t up for it today. I felt pretty tired from the tear shedding last night. I wanted to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. I got up and kissed John on the cheek. He responded my stirring. I replaced my body with a pillow which he wrapped his legs around. I laughed at this before heading down the stairs carefully for a cup of coffee.

Kennedy, Jared and Pat weren’t in the living room. They must’ve gone home. It surprised me to see Garrett snoring away on the couch and I was about to grab a blanket from the closet when the snoring stopped and I heard footsteps coming near me. I turned around and smiled at him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He looked like a cute little boy and watching him try to keep himself awake was adorable.

“Good morning,” I greeted him and walked to him to pull him into a hug.

He mumbled something I couldn’t decipher as he wrapped his arms around me. I smiled as I pulled away and started making coffee.

“Why are you up so early?” I asked him as I waited for the coffee to fill the pot.

“I wanted to be the first one to greet you good morning,” he said and I laughed and shook my head at him. He sat on the stool by the island counter.

“You want me to make you anything for breakfast?” I asked him as I looked in the cupboard for some cereal.

“Cap’n Crunch in a bowl with milk, please,” he said with a big smile on his face and got what he asked for.

I poured the cereal in the bowl first before the milk and grabbed a spoon and handed it to him. “Voila,” I said and he clapped his hands like a little kid who just saw a magic trick.

“Wow, you are so good at making these things,” he joked and I rolled my eyes as I poured some coffee into my mug.

“So what made you stay here?” I asked him as I lifted the mug to my face. I blew the coffee to cool it off a bit.

“I didn’t want to go home,” he said and I creased my forehead as I took a sip of coffee.

“Why?” I asked him as I set the coffee down and sat across him.

“Because no one would be there,” he told me and I nodded.

I was about to say something else when all of a sudden, I heard a knock on the front door. Who would come visit us at 5:30 in the morning? I hopped off the stool and asked Garrett to wait in the kitchen. I walked to the front door and opened it.

“Aunt Emily?” I greeted as soon as I saw my mother’s older sister on the other side of the door. “I didn’t know you were coming,” I said hugging her and looking at the bags she was bringing.

“Well, when your mother passed away, I decided to come take care of you guys. Hopefully it’s not a problem,” she said and I rolled my eyes and helped her bring her bags in.

Aunt Emily had always been my favorite aunt. She visited every Christmas and came on every birthday we had. She wasn’t married but there were times where she came over with a boyfriend but they never really lasted long. She was a kid at heart and that’s why I loved her so much and her being here to take care of us sorta lifted a heavy weight off of my shoulders. I thought I was doomed for sure.

“Hey Olivia, I was wondering if you had any-” Garrett said coming into the living room but stopping when he saw my aunt.

“Oh, Aunt Em, this is Garrett. Garrett, this is my aunt, Emily,” I introduced and they shook hands.

“Is this your new boyfriend?” she asked me and both Garrett and I blushed.

“Um, no,” he said almost immediately.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” I said and she laughed.

“Well, I’m gonna go freshen up now, okay?” she said and I nodded as she grabbed her bags and went into the guest room that she’s grown accustomed to.

I nodded and watched her head inside the room which has always been hers since no one really used it. I turned to Garrett who was staring aimlessly out the window. I poked him lightly in the rib and he poked me back as he went back into the kitchen and ate his cereal.

I started to drink my coffee since it was a lot cooler now. Garrett and I talked about my aunt and I told him all about her.

“So she’s gonna be hanging out here all the time now?” he asked and I nodded.

“Yea, she’ll be living with us pretty much to keep everything in order.” I said and he nodded.

I knew that he was thinking hard about something but I didn’t want to ask him what it was about so I just drank my coffee.

Having Aunt Em with us was some sort of blessing. Somehow, I knew that this was something good. She always knew how to straighten people out. Mom once told me that she was the one who helped her get through the problems she had and that without her she would’ve never made it this far. I hope that she’d do the same with Andy. I hope she could fix her in a way so that she could wake up from the current state she’s in.I just hope that she’d stop hating me already.