Inside of You

John cradled me in his arms. I felt his warm breath on my neck as I woke up. It was comforting and nothing could ever feel better than having him wake up next to me in the morning. I tried to get out of his hold without waking him but it was impossible. As soon as I tried to move, he tightened his grip on me and pulled me back to him. His scent surrounded my nose and I couldn’t be more pleased about it but sadly, if I didn’t do anything about it, my bladder would burst and I’d wet the bed.

“John, I really need to go use the bathroom,” I told him but he didn’t move. He planted kisses on the crook of my neck. “It’s not funny, John,” I said feeling the need to pee become worse.

“Yes, it is,” he said giggling like a sissy girl as he got on top of me. He started to kiss me on the lips and I was trapped under him.

He held my wrists down on the bed and trailed kisses from my lips to my neck and back. But I couldn’t enjoy myself as much because I needed to use the bathroom badly.

“John, I swear, if you don’t let me go this instant, I won’t talk to you for a week,” I threatened but he only smirked at me.

“I dare you,” he challenged and I rolled my eyes. He knew me too well. He knew I was bluffing. This was one of the cons about knowing someone too well. I couldn’t threaten John.

“Please, please, please let me go,” I pleaded and he smiled as he shook his head before leaning back in to kiss me.

“You have to say the magic words,” he told me looking into my eyes.

“Didn’t I say ‘please’ three times already?” I asked him and he smiled.

“That’s not what I want to hear,” he said whispering into my ear. His hot breath was tickling my ear and that was hardly helping my situation.

I thought about what he might’ve meant but I couldn’t think the straight. I was getting really antsy about my bladder bursting any time now.

“I can’t think straight right now,” I said moving my legs so that I’d be more comfortable.

“Well I’ll give you a clue. The sentence has three words, eight letters – five vowels, three consonants – three syllables and you have to mean it when you say it,” he said sweetly and I smirked knowing fully well what he meant.

“I love you, John,” I said kissing him on the cheek. “Now will you please let me release everything that’s filling up my bladder?” I asked him and he got off of me and nodded.

I ran straight to the bathroom and locked the door and relieved myself by peeing. I washed my hands once I was through and walked out of the bathroom just to see the bed empty and the bedroom door open. John must’ve gone down to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

I walked down the steps and saw Kennedy watching a movie. Jared was beside him and Pat was outside doing only God knows what. Garrett was in the kitchen with John and I was afraid to face him. I mean what if he hated me for what I did or didn’t do last night? I didn’t even know what I did.

“What do you wanna eat?” John asked me as soon as he was all set on the table with a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

“Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out,” I smiled at him and then looked at Garrett who was looking at me with an expression I couldn’t make out.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” he asked me cocking his head to the side to tell me that he wanted to go somewhere private.

I nodded and looked at John – who was just confused as I was about this – and followed him out. I sat on the porch as he sat across me on the railings. He and I just stared each other for a while and it was got kinda awkward. He was the first to regain his composure and start the conversation.

“Look, I’m really sorry about last night,” he started to say, “I wasn’t really myself and I don’t know what came over me,” he said sounding genuinely sorry about what transpired.

“What exactly happened last night?” I asked him. I mean I knew what happened but I just didn’t get it and I was hoping that he could clarify but he told me that he didn’t know either.

“I guess it was the alcohol…?” he said making his statement sound like a question.

“Really? I mean you hardly seemed drunk or something,” I said and he sighed.

“Do you really wanna know what’s going on?” he asked and I raised an eyebrow. Was there really something he was hiding from me?

I nodded vigorously and waited as he composed himself.

“Well, um, I sorta, uh, this kinda hard to just say but I hope this doesn’t affect anything but I sorta, uh, I sorta like-”

“Garrett!” I heard someone call from the house next door – my house.

Andy came running to the back porch from the secret way that I discovered about as a teenager. I used it to sneak in and out of the house whenever I went out for a party and John covered for me and vice versa. We’d always tell the ‘rents that I was sleeping over at John’s and weirdly they never found it weird that I spent a lot of time over at John’s house. I guess they trusted us like that.

“What do you want?” Garrett asked somewhat bitterly as he faced her.

Andy’s smile faltered a little but it bounced right back on her face. “I wanted to show you something,” she told him and he rolled his eyes as he sighed and got down from the railings. “Oh, hey Liv,” she greeted acknowledging my presence.

I didn’t really feel the need to narrow my eyes at her and treat her like shit. I mean what’s done is done and I can’t really do anything about it and besides she and John were never together so what do I have to worry about?

“Hey,” I said softly before she grabbed Garrett’s wrist and pulling him towards the house.

I tried to think about what that might be all about but hey, it’s none of my business so why should I try to dwell in it?

*** *** ***

Garrett

I was finally going to tell her. I was going to get it all out. I might’ve stumbled as I looked for the right words but I tried. I wanted to be freed from this heavy weight on my shoulders but Andy had to ruin everything. I hated her guts and I hated her. She always found a way to ruin my day. The very sight of her made me want to chew her head off.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked me as soon as she dragged me away from what might have been a shot at being with Olivia.

“What do you think? I was going with the plan we had,” I told her and she rolled her eyes.

“Gar, I’m really sorry but I think tearing them apart because we’re selfish is a very bad idea. I don’t even know why we thought about it,” okay, first of all, this was all her idea. I was only dumb enough to think that it might work.

“We were almost there you know,” I told her sternly. “You could’ve gotten John and I could’ve gotten Olivia, how hard is that to understand?” I asked her and she sighed heavily.

“Look, dude, I don’t want to disappoint her anymore. I don’t want everybody hating on me anymore. Besides I don’t have a shot with John,” she told me and I wanted to say that I might have a chance with Olivia and that I didn’t care about her side of this thing but I wasn’t that cold-hearted.

“Whatever, I’m going back home,” I told her getting out of her backyard and walking towards the front of John’s house where my car was parked.

I wanted to be with her but I couldn’t tell her that.She doesn’t know half of what I feel and maybe she’ll never know for sure.