Inside of You

Two days passed by in a blur and before I knew anything, I was back at home constantly staring at the stitches on my head in my mirror. They were healing really well but the memories inside were hardly coming back. I sighed as I sat back on my bed and looked outside the window.

I wanted to remember who John was. He seemed like an important someone in my life and it hurt to not remember whatever we went though.

Andy told me that John was nothing to me but I felt like there was something she wasn’t telling me. I wanted to ask her about it but whenever I tried, she’d get all pissed at me and I didn’t want that. Aunt Catherine had to take this one-week business trip somewhere so it was just the two of us at home.

I started the day by taking a shower and changing into something casual. I didn’t know what to do today so I called Kennedy up to see what he was doing and if he wanted to do something with me.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” he asked once I told him about wanting to go out today.

“I don’t know,” I said with a laugh. “What do you think?”

He didn’t answer right away. He let a few minutes pass before he gave out an enthusiastic ‘okay’. I smiled to myself as I waited in our living room. I switched on the television before I heard a knock at the door. I stood from my comfortable position on the couch and opened the door only to reveal John on the other side.

JOHN

“Hey,” I said, greeting Olivia a little too awkwardly. She was so beautiful today and the stitches on her head were healing perfectly. I never thought I’d see her in the same way again but we’re all back to square one and this is my chance to make things right with her. I couldn’t let her or myself down anymore. I needed this to work.

“Hi,” she replied, letting me in. “Look, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about everything that’s happened to me and I’m really sorry but I don’t remember you being in my life at all.”

She looked so innocent and so naïve that it was hard to get upset about this. I couldn’t blame her for losing a big portion of her memory but I just wish she hadn’t. If she never lost a single detail from her head, I would’ve done everything to make it up to her but now that it’s all gone, I don’t even know where to start.

“It’s totally fine.” I sat beside her on the couch and we watched TV. She was watching some cartoon show when another door was heard at the door.

She stood from her spot and I stared at those long legs that used to wrap themselves around me. I wanted to hold her in my arms and feel her touch but I couldn’t do that anymore. I had to make up for the lost time but before I could ask her what she was doing today, she was telling me that she was going out. With Kennedy.

“Tell Andy too,” she requested before heading out.

I didn’t know why that affected me so much. I mean it hurt when Garrett told me that she remembered everyone else except me but I just couldn’t accept the facts. I wanted them all to say that they were lying. How in the world is she able to remember each and every one of the people she’s ever known in this world except me? Was I that irrelevant in her life? Didn’t I make my mark somewhere in that head of hers?

I sighed as I got up. I was about to go and knock on Andy’s door when she twisted the knob and opened it herself.

“Olivia’s out with Kennedy,” I told her and spun right around as I tried to make my way to the door but she stopped me mid-stride.

“Look, I know it hurts to know that she doesn’t remember you but I do,” she told me and I had to turn around to see if she was joking around or not. “I still care about you, John. I can treat you way better than she ever did. Just give me a chance and you’ll see.”

Okay, she was coming on to me. I looked down at her and pulled my hand away gently. “Andy, you’re a great girl but the only one I see myself with is your sister but you already know that,” I said but she just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“She’s never going to remember anything, John. You’re better off with me,” she said sliding her hands up on my chest.

I had to look away. I didn’t want to react too violently. Besides, having someone actually care for me in that manner wasn’t all that bad.

“I have to go,” I said, turning around. I caught her smiling slyly as I did so.

“You’ll be back,” I heard her mutter but I didn’t say anything else.

I wasn’t about to go and make another mistake. I’ve had too many of those and they’re still haunting me. If I wanted to be with Olivia, I had to wait. But how long do I have to wait?

KENNEDY

It was weird that Olivia called me this morning. I wasn’t expecting it at all. Mainly because we weren’t exactly as close as she and Garrett were but I guess I could use this time to get to know her better. It’s the least I could do.

“So what did you want to do today?” I asked her as the car rolled to a stop due to a traffic light.

“I have no idea,” she said laughing. I smiled at her from the rear view mirror and started to drive as soon as the light turned green.

“Well, are you hungry?” It was already 11:33 on the clock and I was getting pretty hungry. I didn’t get to eat breakfast today since Olivia rushed me out of the house. If she hadn’t called, I’d probably still be asleep by now.

“We could grab lunch,” she suggested and that’s exactly what we did.

When we reached Chili’s, we got a table almost instantly. There weren’t a lot of people in yet since most people would take their lunch at around 12.

We sat by the window and started to order up. The waitress was kind enough to fill our glasses with water. Olivia sipped her glass with so much grace and poise. I never knew she was that prim and proper but who was I to judge.

“So what made you ask me to do something today?” I asked all of a sudden. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. And plus, don’t you think it was weird that she had asked me?

“Well, I just thought we could spend some time together,” she said placing a hand on top of mine. That’s where it got weird. I saw a red alert sign flashing in my head as soon as I stared at her soft hand landing on top of mine.

“Um, really?” I couldn’t really think straight. That was sorta straightforward. I mean the hand thing? What was I supposed to think of it?

“Please, you don’t have to be so naïve. We both know we were meant to be together,” she said, looking out the window. The day has barely even started and it was already getting really awkward for me. “I’m sorry about everything that happened, by the way. I never should’ve strayed away from you.”

“What are you talking about? Are you sure you don’t have me mixed up with someone else?” I asked her as I slid my hand from underneath hers.

She didn’t seem to respond after what I said. She just looked at me like she saw something on my face. It was probably confusion but I can never really tell. I mean I don’t really know her like John and Garrett did and sure I wanted to bond with her in a way but how was I supposed to with all this weird shit going on.

“Look Liv, before the accident, I was only a friend to you and I think that’s all I’ll ever be. Besides, I’m sure John would kill me for going out with you,” I said, gulping down the water in my glass. I was getting really nervous.

“Oh,” she said as she thought. “But from what I remember, it was you who I was with. I mean you’re the one who was with me through everything and-”

“That’s John you’re talking about right there. Sure, you and I, we had our moments but the really special ones – the ones you’re thinking of right now – that’s all John. That’s why we couldn’t just drop the topic when you told us that you didn’t remember John like at all while you were at the hospital,” I explained.

She looked down, embarrassed. I smiled as I held her hand – in a friendly manner, of course – and told her that it was all going to be alright. She was going to remember these things that have left her head and everything was going to be fine soon.

“So what do we do now?” she asked, trying to lift her spirit up.

“Well we do what we came here to do,” I suggested as I watched our waitress make her way to our table. “And when I say that, I mean we eat.”

She smirked as we both dug into our meals. I just hope that this whole mess would clear up soon because I really wouldn’t want to cause any trouble with anyone. All I want is to be her friend and that’s that.