Inside of You

The night I spent over at Kennedy’s was probably the best one I’ve had in quite a while. I mean who would expect that someone like him would really help me through all this crap I’m going through. I’m not saying that I don’t like his help -- because I do -- but I’m just really glad, I guess, that there are really still some genuinely nice people out there who do things without asking for anything else in return. I guess I never really tried to open my eyes to see what kind of a person Kennedy really was until now. I never ever thought that I’d need him but I think I’m pretty lucky that he’s here right now.

“Good morning,” he greeted as soon as he saw my eyes flutter. Don’t get the wrong idea but we sort of slept in the same bed because Kennedy didn’t want me to sleep in his couch in the living room and for some reason, I didn’t want to be alone. Nothing happened between us, if you’re asking.

“Hey,” I yawned. I turned in my bed so we were face to face and realized how dangerously close we were. I got scared for a moment but when I realized the actual situation we were in, my heart started beating regularly once again.

I didn’t know why, but somehow it all felt right. Like I’m currently in the right place and at the right moment. It felt so good to be beside Kennedy but I wasn’t certain if what I was feeling for him can be considered as something friendly. I wouldn’t call it something exclusive either. Maybe we’re just friends with less benefits than most. But then again, life can be pretty confusing.

“I think I should head home. I mean, I really don’t want to take any more time from you. You’ve given me so much already and I really don’t know how I can pay you back,” I said, watching his mouth curl up into that sweet smile he shows off often.

“Don’t worry about it. My schedule for today is completely empty,” he said as he thought really hard. “ Wait, make that the whole week.”

I laughed at what he said and bit on my bottom lip right after. I couldn’t help but feel guilty. He’s not responsible for me nor does he need to help me through this but he’s the only person I can run. Scratch that, he’s the only person worth running to right at this moment my life.

“You know, you should smile often,” he mentioned, getting up to stretch his lanky limbs. “It looks good on you.”

Before I could really analyze what he meant by what he said, he went into the bathroom outside his bedroom to escape the investigation. I think my cheeks were pretty flushed but luckily, he didn’t have to see that. I rolled around in his bed so that I could get up. I really didn’t want to waste any more of Kennedy’s days and/or weeks with my life drama or problems so when I placed all my belongings into my bag, I looked for a pen and a paper so that I could write him a note saying that I’d see him around and that I had to go home. I mean even if he did mention that he was free today and weeks from the present, I still felt the urge to leave before it was too late.

But right when I was about to turn and head out the door, I saw Kennedy leaning against the frame of his door watching me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen on his face. For a second, I was nervous. He made his way towards me and took my bag off my shoulder and threw it on the bed. He grabbed my gently by the arms and pulled me a little closer.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, staring deeply into my eyes as if he knew how to read minds.

“I, uh, w-wanted to go h-home,” I said, trying to escape his eyes but I couldn’t look away. They were the loveliest brown eyes I’ve ever seen.

“But didn’t I ask you to stay?” He slid his right hand down my left arm and stopped where my fingertips were. He lingered there for a while, feeling as confident as ever.

“I know you did. But-”

He placed a finger in front of my lips and let it stay there. He looked down at them for a while before taking his finger away to make my lips collide with his own. I was taken aback for a few seconds but as soon as I felt something velvety and wet slide across my bottom lip, everything sprung back into life and the world started spinning again.

I let this high and awesome sensation take over as I told myself to kiss him back. Somehow, the world around us didn’t matter at all. It was as if I was this problem free girl getting with the greatest guy in the world. We could’ve lived a happily ever after and we could’ve been the happiest people alive. But then again, we all know those moments are always short-lived. This one moment -- where he had his arms around my waist and I had mine around his neck -- in particular only lasted a few minutes. A knock on the front door was heard and we both stopped for a while to regain our composure. We looked at each other, thinking of what happened exactly. I wonder if it meant as much to him as it did to me.

Kennedy ran to the front door after hearing more erratic knocks. I followed suit right behind him and watched as he revealed the person on the other side. To both our surprises, it was John.

He was about to greet Kennedy -- with smiles and what not -- until he saw me and froze. At this point, I felt my heart weigh about a hundred tons. It was falling from beneath my chest and I thought I was going to pass out. John started to open his mouth but I didn’t want to hear anything that he had to say so I made my way back into the house and went as far away from him as possible.

I only stopped when I heard Kennedy talk. At this point, I was in the living room where everything was highly audible. Kenny’s house was small so you could probably hear everything from anywhere. So there I was eavesdropping like a coward.

“What do you want?” Kennedy, I could tell -- even when I wasn’t right in front of him -- sounded really angry. His voice scared me.

“I want to talk to her,” John didn’t seem to argue with the tone of his voice. I guess he regained some kind of common sense from last night or whatever.

“Well, I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Kennedy said.

“You don’t know that,” John retorted in the same angry tone. I could tell he was getting annoyed but there was nothing Kenny or I could do about it. Besides, this was all his fault.

It was about silent for a while. I didn’t hear anything more from either of them and I thought John had left but if he did, wouldn’t there be footsteps of some kind? I didn’t happen to hear any so I guess he was still outside the door.

“Just please, let me get inside,” John begged. I wanted to picture him on his knees but I’m sure he wasn’t the groveling kind. It was too impossible.

“No,” Kennedy replied, sternly.

“You don’t really want trouble right here in your front porch, do you?” John threatened, trying to get the upper hand.

I didn’t let Kennedy answer that since I knew exactly where this was headed so before I gave him any time for a reply, I made my way into the foyer -- where they were situated -- and pushed Kennedy back.

“John, just get out of here before you make me even more upset,” I told him, trying my very best to hold Kennedy back.

“Olivia please just hear me out.”

“No,” I said, releasing Kennedy from my hold. He left both of us alone and went into the living room to eavesdrop, most probably.

“But didn’t you say that you’d give people chances? That you’d listen to reason? What happened to that?” Oh no, he wasn’t turning the tables that easily. I wasn’t going to let him.

“John, you’ve broken my trust far too many times and now you have to earn it back. Sadly, I don’t feel like doing that today because only stupid people would care to even give you some kind of attention and trust me, I’m not that kind of person. So before you go telling me about what I should do or what I do best, try and check whether you and I ended on the best terms.”

John just stood there and stared down at me. When I looked into his eyes, I was far away from wanting to melt into pieces due to the connection I felt with him. Something inside of him was different and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a part of it.

I was about to close the door right at his face when he pushed it back open and I fell to the ground. Kennedy most probably heard a thud because I heard someone get up from the couch. John pulled me up harshly and brought me to his lips. I didn’t get to really think about the kiss because after 8 milliseconds, we were pulled apart and a fist connected to John’s face.