Inside of You

From there, everything went haywire. I wanted to break them apart but I felt like John deserved the strikes Kennedy gave, but seeing that Kennedy was getting a little beaten up as well, I had to step in.

“Break it up!” I said all police officer like. Being stubborn boys, they chose not to listen to me.
So I put two fingers in my mouth and blew a really loud whistle that rang in both their ears.

They both covered their ear drums for fear of becoming deaf. I pushed John out of the door and closed it in his face. I locked Kenny’s front door and attended to the wounds on his face.

“Are you okay?” I asked, wiping blood off the cut on his cheek.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you?” he retorted, taking my hand away from the wound that didn’t cease to ooze more blood out.

I left that question unanswered as I went to the kitchen and grabbed a dish towel – which he had in a drawer, surprisingly – and damped it with cool water. I placed a few ice cubes on the towel and wrapped it up.

Kennedy was already on the island counter touching the wounds on his face, cringing every time he hit the right spot. He wore this anxious look on his face that I wanted to shoo away but even I didn’t know if I was okay or not. How was I supposed to feel about what just happened? I don’t even get the way or lips collided and detached from each other like that. It was as if I longed for it but was dissatisfied in the end.

I gently placed the cubes wrapped in a towel on his face and watched as he sat still right in front of me. The whole time I tried to clean the wound, he was looking into my eyes – or at least he tried to make eye contact. I was far from wanting him to know what kind of emotions were in me right at this moment. I wasn’t really certain but I felt like if I answered his question a while back, I’d be headed out the door as well.

“Hey, I’m worried about you,” Kennedy blurted out all of a sudden, breaking the unbearable silence. He took the ice out of his face and slid his fingers down to my own. He stroked my cheek and traced a line down to my chin where he lifted it up so I could look at him.

I tried to smile but failed. I was lying to everyone and to myself. How can I not have feelings for John? How can I forget what he means to me? Why am I being so stubborn? Shouldn’t I just forgive him for being the stupid but lovable person he is? This is all too confusing and I hate how I got Kennedy in the middle of everything. He didn’t deserve any of this.

I wanted to move the hand with the ice to his face since it was going to bruise soon but he held me still. I breathed out a heavy sigh as I sat on the seat right beside his. I twisted in it so I was facing him.

“Kenny, you didn’t deserve any of this,” I told him, biting my bottom lip.

“I was trying to protect you,” he replied, making me smile just a little.

“I know but you went too far.”

“That was nothing. What he did was way out of line. I’m just glad I got to punch him in the face first.”

Kennedy got up and went towards the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of soda and twisted the cap. He seemed utterly calm about the whole thing. I thought he’d be really mad about all of this but he didn’t seem like it. But then again, maybe he was just good at hiding his emotions. I didn’t know Kennedy that well yet so I couldn’t figure him out with one look.

“Kenny, you really don’t have to get yourself hurt to try and protect me. I don’t want people getting hurt anymore. I’ve done too much already and I feel like the cause of their pain is all because of me. I’m not trying to be all emo or anything but if you really think about it, it is quite true.”

“Don’t say that,” he said, catching on to what I’d said. He probably knew from past events that I blamed myself too much – that I was too harsh on myself.

Kennedy made his way back to his seat and scooted our chairs together. He put his forehead against mine and stared down at my lips and without further ado, I closed the gap between us and kissed him. I felt the same way I did the first time – which is good because I didn’t want these feelings I felt for him to change.

We just made out in his kitchen for a few steamy minutes before the sadness in me flew away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started to grow a little aggressive. I felt like doing something stupid just to boost my self-esteem. But I knew that using people wasn’t good. Kennedy is at the top of the ‘People I Should Not Hurt’ list so I guess thinking like this is sorta dumb.

I made my way out of my seat and onto his lap. Thoughts raced inside my head but I shut them down. There was only so much thinking one person can do and it’s sad to say that this girl isn’t the patient kind.

I slid my hands under his shirt as I detached my lips from his. I smiled before placing butterfly on his neck. As I trailed them from his lips and back, I felt something go hard from down under and I knew exactly what it was. I bit my lip as I locked my legs behind his seat. Our lips collided once more as his fingers played with the hem of my shirt. I moved closer to him, loving the way our lips moved together. His hands trailed up my back, sending chills down my spine. He nipped on my neck, making him want to hit the next base with him. But before we reconnected our lips, the phone rang.

I looked to the side and was about to get down from my position but he held me even closer, reattaching his lips to my neck. The phone didn’t stop ringing so I maneuvered my way away from him and answered the phone.

Before I could greet the person on the other line, the caller spoke saying, “Did you get the job done?”

To my surprise, it was Andy and apparently, I just got played.