Inside of You

GARRETT

“Come on, Garrett! She’ll never know!” Andy said leading me up the stairs to Olivia’s room, “She’s out with Kenny and well, we have the place all to ourselves.”

“Andy, this is stupid,” I said, trying desperately to stop her from being so selfish. I knew that all she wanted was to sabotage her sister and I really did not want that.

Her smile dropped to a frown. I knew she was on drugs. She was on a high and I came just in time for the climax. I always told her to stop but she never listens to me. She told me that injecting herself with needles and smoking until she sees everything all warped was the highlight of her life. She’s been at it ever since she found out her mother had cancer and ever since then, she hasn’t been the same. She’s been having personality switches and mood swings where it became really difficult to actually talk to her. I used to think she was cool before she took any drugs but now, I feel nothing but disgust when I see her.

Clearly, she needed some help but whenever I tried, she’d threaten to kill herself and I didn’t want that. I mean maybe it would seem like I didn’t care but knowing that I would be the reason for her death would make Olivia hate me forever and I didn’t need that in my life.

“Garrett, you know that I love you, right? I would never hurt you,” she reminded me for the thousandth time. But I know better than to believe her. She’d say anything to make you do what she says and I’d hate to say it out loud but for quite a while now, I’ve been nothing but her pet – following her around in all her selfish glory.

“You love John, remember?” I reminded, making my way back down the stairs. But before I could take one step, she grabbed my arm and tightened her grip where she dug her long nails into my skin.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered to me, getting too close for comfort. She wrapped her free hand around my torso sliding it lower and lower until she reached a certain spot that’s not appropriate for her to touch, “You know what happens when you don’t listen to whatever I say.”

“You need some help, Andy,” I said, taking her arms away from me, “I mean it.”

“Don’t try and act like Mr. Goody Two-Shoes because you and I both know that you’re nothing like that!” she scolded.

“I’m not trying to-”

“Garrett, just stay and it’ll all be fine.” She cut me off midsentence and made her way next to me. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards Olivia’s room.

“Why are we here?” I asked, feeling horrendously annoyed with her. I didn’t want to have to feel this way but she left me with no choice.

“We’re here because we are going to have some fun,” she told me, pushing me harshly so that I’d fall on Olivia’s bed. But she wasn’t really that strong.

“What do you mean?” I asked. I really did want to leave but I was too afraid of the outcome so I stayed.

“Well, first, we’re going to drown ourselves in alcohol,” she instructed grabbing two bottles of vodka from under Olivia’s bed.

“Where the hell did you get that?” I asked furiously as I stood up and grabbed it away from her.

“Relax, Grandpa! I didn’t steal it or anything. I just grabbed it from one of my friend’s refrigerators. I’m bound to pay him back so don’t worry.”

She was out of her mind and I felt like a complete tool. I never ever stooped this low but I guess there was a first time for everything.

Without me noticing, she swiped one bottle away from me and twisted the cap off. She drank the contents as if it was plain water. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw what she did. Who knew what other things happen in those parties she goes to almost every night? I didn’t even want to know.

“What’s wrong, Gary?” she asked in such a fake tone. She sat me down on the bed and placed herself on my lap, facing me, “Do you want me to open that bottle for you?”

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” I asked, wanting to push her away but I knew that that would only make her angry. I hate it when she screams. It makes me want to do unspeakable things.

She smiled evilly before biting on her bottom lip. “You are so cute right now.” She pushed herself forward so that she was right on top of my penis. Nothing in this world could ever be more uncomfortable than what she just did.

“Just drink up so you and I can play,” she said, feeding me her bottle.

I drank a pretty large amount. I swallowed and felt the alcohol burn against my throat. This was probably the most stupid thing that I’ve ever done but it was for a good cause, wasn’t it?

After a few more swigs and one more bottle, I was downright buzzed. Her hands all over me felt more pleasurable than uncomfortable. I nipped on her neck and tried to think positively about what I was doing. I twisted us around so that I was on top of her. The smile on her face made me feel better about myself. She was actually enjoying this.

A few minutes later, the shedding of clothes had begun. We were down to nothing but our underwear and man, was she hot. I started to feel a little erotic as I slid my hands inside her panties. She moaned in pleasure as I rubbed my hand up and down. She tugged on my hair and reconnected our lips as I continued to feel her up. But it wasn’t long until she turned us again and straddled my body. She took of her bra and grabbed my hands in one quick motion. She laced our fingers together as she started planting butterfly kisses down my torso. Soon, her lips met the top of my boxers. She unlaced our fingers as she slowly slid my boxers down. I was about to pass out. But then, I felt her tongue slide against the top of my boner. It felt so good so I pushed her head down so that she could start sucking it like a lollipop. I may have ejaculated inside her mouth but she didn’t care. She kept going at it as if it was the best thing in the world.

I was feeling a bit needy now. I felt like sticking this boner inside of her to see how she’d feel. So, I took her hands off of my thighs and pulled on them so I could inject my dick into a tighter and wetter hole. I rolled us over and kissed her on the lips while placing my hands on her chest. Her breathing started to get louder as she tried to push me away a little. I backed up groggily and knitted my eyebrows together.

“We can’t do this without protection,” she whispered, laughing right after as she slid out from underneath me to grab a condom from one of the drawers in the room. I watched her strut back to the bed with the condom in between her teeth. Something in me actually found that quite sexy. I pulled her eagerly down on the bed so that we could get some dirty work done. She slipped the condom on expertly without wasting any time. Once done, I inserted myself in her and got things over with.

No one would ever know, right?

My guilty conscience finally made its way over to the bed where Andy’s body was located. I didn’t know where to begin. I knew that this wasn’t truly because of Olivia. This was all because of me. Andy always told me how she really did want to be with me but I always push her away because I don’t actually like Andy. I wanted to be with Olivia. But she’s too far out of my league and I should’ve seen that from the start. But like every other hormonal adolescent guy out there, I was blinded with pride. I thought that I could actually sweep her off her feet by making sure that she was far away from John but with Andy in the picture, it became ten times worse. But now that the damage has been done and everything somehow collapsed to the situation I’m now in, I just can’t help but feel bad for myself. I know I pushed this too far and I only hope to make it up to everyone. I never thought it would all boil down to this.

I licked my lips before stroking Andy’s cheek. I never should’ve used her as a substitute. She was more fragile than Olivia and I didn’t give a damn. Now, she’s in a hospital bed because of a suicide attempt. How can I begin to apologize?

“Hey,” I started, “Look, I’m no good at these speech things but I wanted to say sorry for everything I’ve done to you. I hate that you’re here because of me. I never should’ve hurt you the way I did and for that I’m sincerely sorry.” I grabbed her hand, hoping that she’d eventually wake up but it wasn’t like I had the magic to actually do that.

“After we both got wasted, I wanted to forget about you, Andy. That’s why I rejected all your calls and pushed you away. I didn’t want to be your pet anymore. I was done trying to win Olivia. I knew the plan and realized only after what we did that it was the most impossible thing that anyone could ever do. I don’t mean to scold you but I just hope that you find it in your heart to actually see that everything’s not that bad. Sure, reality bites but it could get a lot better from here.”

I didn’t know if I was apologizing or telling her that what she did was wrong. But like I said, I really didn’t know how to make these speech things so I couldn’t compensate for anything.

“G-Garrett?” Andy croaked.

My head perked up as I watched her eyes open and the heart monitor beep loudly. “Andy?”

“This isn’t because of you,” she mentioned, “I just didn’t want to live anymore so I did the unthinkable.” She spoke so calmly that it frightened me. “Just promise me you won’t leave my side.”

“I can’t promise you that,” I muttered.

She smiled and smirked at the same time as she shook her head lazily. “Heaven’s been calling me for a really long time, Gary.”

I wanted to comment on that one but I was too taken aback to actually say anything. “Don’t try anything stupid. Olivia cares about you.” I whispered.

“Who cares what she thinks about me? When I get back home, I’m still going to be the same person. Drugs and alcohol are my best friends,” she sighed happily.

I thought she’d be able to change. I thought that this could be her turning point but I was wrong. She didn’t care at all. She’s still the same selfish person with the same bitchy attitude.

I watched her drift back into a deep sleep. I can’t believe she hasn’t learned a single thing. She’s delirious and no medication can help her. This goes without saying but I’m giving up on her. There is no way I can help her in this state of my mind.

I shook my head as I made my way out the door. John’s head perked up but I just shook my head as I made my way down the elevators and to the parking lot. I was so done with Andy and her life.