Never Regret

It’s now the 12th of December, and we’re in Bridgeport, Connecticut. We have two days until our penultimate gig, and then we’re driving to Boston for our last gig. Michael and I aren’t good. I don’t really know what else I can say, but we’re not good at all. I haven’t been avoiding him and he hasn’t been avoiding me, but it’s like we can’t find a reason to be with each other. Maybe Michael’s having the same insecurities as me. Maybe he’s hesitant about staying together. Fuck, I hadn’t thought of that before! He could be just a scared as I am over our relationship, which is why I was surprised when he held me back from going onto my bus with my bandmates. All three bands had been at a signing today, so right now we were all just looking forward to getting back to our buses and relaxing. Michael took my hands in both of his, making me hold my breath. W-What does he want?

“Before you go back to your bus, can I ask you something?” Michael said softly.

“Uh, sure?” I said hesitantly.

He chuckled softly, making me blush a little.

“Will you come out to dinner with me tonight? Just the two of us?” Michael asked with a sweet smile.

I swallowed heavily, but nodded. As much as I don’t want to be alone with Michael because I know I’ll blurt something, I can’t lose him yet.

“Yeah, okay,” I replied, biting my lip ring.

“Great. I’ll knock for you at 7,” Michael said excitedly.

I inhaled sharply as he pressed his lips to mine, smiling at the familiar feeling that buzzed through my skin. I will definitely never have enough of his kisses, that’s for sure. Michael gently brushed his tongue across my bottom lip before pulling away, and I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I whimpered softly at him not continuing the embrace.

“You’ll get more later,” Michael smirked.

I giggled and blushed when he winked, smiling to myself as he walked back into his bus. It hit me as I was walking back to my bus that I was actually going on a date – I hadn’t been on a date in years...what am I meant to wear?! How am I meant to act?! With that thought in mind, I ran onto the bus and squealed in frustration – I only have 3 hours to decide what the fuck I’m going to do! Unfortunately, my squeal attracted the attention of my bandmates and merch girl, who were only a few metres away from me in the lounge.

“Is everything alright Mack?” JC frowned, pausing his Mario Kart game with Logan.

I whimpered and ran over to him, vaulting the sofa until I was curled up at his side. This made my friends really pay attention. They know I don’t act like this unless it’s something serious.

“Seriously, what’s wrong? You’re freaking me out,” Reece asked, worried.

“Did Chizzy do something to hurt you? Because if he has, I swear I’ll...”

“No, he hasn’t done anything to hurt me, I promise,” I interrupted, before Logan could get too angry.

“Then what happened?” Logan asked, confused.

“He asked me to go to dinner with him!” I whined.

My four friends looked at each other, before bursting into laughter. I scowled and sat upright out of JC’s arms. This isn’t funny!

“Why are you laughing?! This is a big deal! The last person I went on a date with was Joseph and that was when we were 14 and went to the skate park to get drunk,” I said angrily.

That stopped their laughter alright.

“A date isn’t anything to be scared of, trust me,” JC reassured, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

“Yeah, they’re meant to be fun. You’ve been dating Chizzy for, what, over two months now? You know him, he knows you, it’s not exactly going to be awkward, is it?” Taylor smiled.

“Are you kidding me? I know you four have noticed the tension and I know Taylor’s blabbed the reason because I’ve heard you plotting and scheming, so don’t even try to deny that it won’t be awkward between me and Michael,” I muttered.

JC, Logan, Reece and Taylor shared guilty looks before looking at me.

“We’ll help you get ready, Mack, don’t worry,” Reece promised.

“I’ll help you with clothes, hair and make-up,” Taylor announced.

“JC and I will give you tips on how to relax and enjoy the date,” Logan added.

“And I’ll find you a suitable liquor to calm your nerves,” Reece finished.

My eyes widened at Reece’s suggestion while my bandmates just glared at him. Would I really need a drink to relax?!

“Just leave it to us. Everything will be fine,” JC reassured me.

I looked around my friends and smiled slightly. If they can promise that nothing will go wrong, then I’ve got to trust that, right?

“Okay, let’s get started,” I nodded.

3 hours later, I was ready and waiting for Michael to knock the bus door. Taylor had done my hair in soft waves with a lot of volume and two purple bows, as well as loaning me a black cocktail dress that I wore with purple tights, a purple leather jacket and my only pair of black ballet flats. Along with a gorgeous purple necklace that my mom had bought me a few birthdays ago, I had matching jewellery and make-up. I actually felt quite beautiful. JC and Logan had managed to relax me along with Reece who’d supplied a small amount of his favourite brandy. So as far as my nerves go, I was feeling pretty good about this date. At 7pm on the dot, three sharp knocks sounded at the door. Taylor squealed excitedly and ran to open the door before one of the guys did. I honestly think she’s more enthusiastic about this date than I am!

“Mack, it’s for you!” Taylor called.

Of course it is. Taking a deep breath, I walked to the front door and smiled shyly at Michael, who was looking gorgeous as always in a long-sleeved black button-up shirt and grey suit. Wow, he does look good!

“I’ll leave you two to it. Don’t forget that we’ll be partying on Cobra’s bus tonight, so leaving us a warning if the bus is occupied,” Taylor grinned, winking dramatically.

I blushed deeply, groaning softly as I exited the bus.

“I’m sorry about...that,” I said awkwardly.

“You don’t think that I’m used to it after all the years touring with Gabe?” Michael mused.

“Fair point,” I laughed, taking his hand in mine.

I saw out the corner of my eye that Michael smiled to himself at my action. Good.

“So where are we going?” I asked curiously.

“Down to main street. I found the best Italian restaurant here once that does amazing both vegetarian and non-veg food. I’ve never had anyone special to go with until now,” Michael said warmly.

I blushed and nudged him with my hip, making him laugh and nudge me back. I raised an eyebrow when a sleek black Cadillac pulled up, but smiled as Michael opened the door for me. What a gentleman.

“To Ralph ‘n’ Rich’s,” Michael instructed.

I curled into his side for the 15 minute journey, until the car pulled to a stop. Michael pressed a slow tender kiss to my lips before looking down into my eyes.

“You really look beautiful tonight,” he said softly with a small smile.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Michael grinned and opened the car door, helping me out before shutting the door behind us. Thankfully there were no paparazzi anywhere, so we walked into the restaurant with no hassle.

“How can I help you?”

“Reservation for Chislett,” Michael smiled.

“Ah yes. Please follow me,”

We were lead to our table in a fairly secluded corner and handed menus with the reassurance that a waiter would be over soon.

“This is amazing! Thank you,” I said softly, smiling as I took my jacket and scarf off.

“Anything for you. I know we’ve been having problems lately for a reason I can’t figure out, so I just wanted to do something special that you would remind you how much I lo...like you,” Michael replied, stuttering a bit at the end.

A pang of guilt spiked in my heart for not telling him about my insecurities, but I just looked down at my menu. I hope I don’t feel guilty for the entire date!

*

Dinner was amazing, as was Michael, and I really couldn’t have asked for a better date. I really am lucky to have him as a boyfriend, I really am. We’d somehow managed to get through a bottle of white wine between us so I was feeling slightly buzzed. Not tipsy, not drunk, but buzzed. Just relaxed enough not to be tense or awkward. Michael’s the same and I think we needed it. However in the car ride back to the buses, Michael’s gentle kisses to my neck made my skin feel on fire, and there was no way I wanted that sensation to end. I think he was surprised when I forcefully pressed my lips to his, but he didn’t push me away. Fuck no. If anything, he kissed me with just as much ferocity right up until the car pulled to a stop. He thanked the driver while I stood beside him a little breathless, grinning to myself when the car pulled away.

“I don’t think I want our date to end quite yet,” I said innocently, tugging on Michael’s belt loops so his lower half was pressed against me.

“My bus?” Michael suggested.

I just started walking in that direction, making him laugh and jog after me. I squealed when Michael caught up and pushed me against the outside of his bus, but the lust in his eyes made me shiver. It made me shiver because I knew I had the same look in my eyes. Not wanting to give in just yet, I ducked under his arm and punched in his door code, running on with his right behind me. Michael spun me around and pulled me against him, his hands going straight to my ass.

“I want you, Kenzie. I want you so bad,” Michael said, his voice deep and husky in a way that made my stomach swirl.

Could I give myself fully to him? Could Michael be the man to take the last reservation I’ve held behind barriers for so many years? Did I really want to cement our relationship in this way? Michael must’ve seen the hesitance in my eyes because he smiled softly.

“I won’t push you into anything you don’t want,” he insisted gently, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

That simple sentence made me decision for me. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him over to his bunk, crawling in backwards while I pulled him on top of me.

“I want you too,” I whispered.