Bursting Red

He sat with his back to me molding clay butterflies and sending them off to their untimely end. He thought I was sleeping, but instead I watched in fascination as the glorious colors fell from the sky like sparkling showers. Softly, he hummed what nearly sounded like an old familiar lullaby I might have known, but I couldn’t be sure. It would have lulled me back to sleep if I hadn’t been so interested in the explosions. “Katsu!” He whispered quietly, grinning like a child when he saw the light show. It made me nervous, but I would always try my hardest not to show it.

I trusted Deidara, more than I have ever trusted anyone else before. Secretly, I loved him. It was only natural I be scared for his current situation. Never mind the fact that I was probably just as wanted as he was. I really do hate to get on anyone’s bad side I thought with a slight frown. Deidara peeked over his shoulder at me and quickly, I shut my eyes. He didn’t notice. Returning to his lullaby I felt it safe to look again. We had been moving from location to location for the past three weeks. Or what I at least believed to be three weeks. Minutes mesh into hours just as days fell into weeks. It was inevitable when you live a life by the side of a missing-nin I could only assume. Things had been rather uneventful…well, except for yesterday. We had been staying in the forest for three days now and yesterday he had been offered a job by a rather rogue looking man and had politely accepted. I wasn’t supposed to hear but I caught a glimmer of it all. From what I had interpreted, he was to bomb a government building in a near by village. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping, but this bothered me.

Deidara had never heard of this village and yet he was willing to kill all of them for pay. I was patiently waiting to see if he deny the offer before the chance came up, but the pang in my stomach told me I shouldn’t bother holding my breath. I was too lost on thought to notice him glance back at me. “Did I wake you, un?” His face was lit up from the light of the previous explosion, orange flickers flashing across his mischievous young boy features to only make him appear younger.

“No, you’re fine.” I said, redirecting my eyes to the ground in front of us. We were in the small village I believed was referred to as the village hidden in the cliffs. A very jagged and hard area of land. It was this village Deidara was planning to attack. My head was rested on a small bundle of cloth Deidara had managed to buy from the local market. There was only enough cloth for a makeshift blanket and a small head rest for one, besides, he claimed he was too anxious to sleep. He shifted his folded legs towards me and gave a small smile. By now the fiery storm had subsided and we were left beneath the starry sky.

“How do you feel about this, un?”

“Do you want me to be honest with you Deidara-kun?” I asked shyly. I didn’t want to tell him I disapproved, it wasn’t my place to be involved like that. But I couldn’t help but wonder if my feelings would change his mind on the whole situation…He nodded, knowing I wasn’t about to shout praise. “It’s…it’s just that…I don’t understand.” My voice trembled lightly and I had to close my eyes to make the tears subside. “Why would you want to hurt people you don’t know, for no reason?” He bent forward and crawled towards me, narrowly avoiding the jutting rock that was in front of him. Once he laid down beside me on the floor he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face in my neck.

“Nezumi-kun, an artist’s passion starts to dull unless they seek greater stimulation. Don’t you ever want more than just your paints and canvas, hm?” He peered up at me and the stars were reflected in his bright blue eyes. His yellow locks slid to the side of his face and I could admire every delicate feature he had. Anything to think about what he just said. In a distant part of my brain it made perfect sense…but I didn’t want to admit it. What he was doing was anything but art, but I almost sympathized for him. “I will show you tomorrow, then maybe you’ll understand, un.

I almost fought back but his smell overpowered my senses and I fell into a state of complete unconsciousness. He shook me awake the next sunrise. “Hm?” I asked sleepily, looking around at the slate gray terrain. I turned back towards him and shot what would have been a smile if I had been completely awake.

“Sleep well?”

“Not especially, but better than you I’m sure.” He grinned in response and pushed himself straight. “Where are you headed?” He stopped and turned back towards me, an innocent appeal to him. His hair was mussed and both our faces were rather dirty. After completing his job, we would move towards the next town and find a hotel were we could sleep and clean. As usual.

“You want breakfast, don’t you, un?” I nodded enthusiastically and slipped back down under my make shift covers. He was lying but no doubt he would return with some sort of food. He was mapping out the area and preparing for the attack, as he had been doing all day yesterday. Trying to hide it from me, he was only trying to protect me to the best of his advantage. But it was almost as if I had lost a part of my innocence now, it was too late to stop me from seeing terrible things. And he knew it. He just wasn’t ready to admit it yet. I slipped my eyes up towards the sky and decided I should get up and change my clothes while he wasn’t around. In the last village we had slept in he had splurged on buying me several sun dresses and some new shoes (as I had left without wearing any). I shimmied into the new baby blue colored dress and tried to smooth my hair down by running it through my fingers, only to have it spring back in every which way. A rustle of stone and dirt sounded off behind me and I smiled lightly to myself.

“Deidara-kun, you’ve returned sooner than I thought.” I turned to look and was face to face with a man I didn’t know. He had dark hair, stringy and hanging in his face. Judging by his headband he was a shinobi of the cliffs and heavily armed. Before I could scream he had his arm around my neck, pinning my back to his body and holding a sharp implement to my neck. I could feel the tip of the weapon pricking my skin and the blood pearling out of my neck.

“Tell me onna, where is your Deidara-kun?” He sneered nastily at me and the stench coming off of his skin was almost nauseating. “Answer me!” The weapon stuck in deeper and I yelped frantically, tears spilling down my cheeks.

“I don’t know where he went!” Clawing at the man’s hands he laughed at my effort.

“Then you are of no use to me.” He bent his head down to run his tongue against my neck, clasping a large hand over my mouth to stop my screaming. My eyes searched frantically for Deidara, for anyone. “I like my women quiet. So you better not scream.” Eyes wide and desperate, I struggled frantically in his grip. Please, Oh Kami please don’t. His hand slipped down my neck and gripped roughly at my small breast, emitting moans into my stiff neck. I could have sworn I tasted blood as I bit down on my lip. A soft whirring sound passed my ear and with it came a spray of hot, salty crimson. His hands released me and I collapsed to the ground in shock. The body fell by my foot, still twitching.

“Not so quick, hm?” Deidara said from the tree branch he was crouched in, grinning with crazed delight as he watched the blood spurt from the wound like a small fountain. “Figures.” His eyes slowly found me and his grin faltered, jumping down he suddenly seemed to remember the situation and not just the fact he got to kill. “Nezumi! Did he hurt you, un?” His hands frantically ran up my arms and helped me stand, looking at me sternly through one eye. Softly, he used the back of his hand to wipe away the tears that were still absently dripping down my face.

“I’m fine….he didn’t hurt me.” He scarred me mentally, but Deidara wasn’t asking. “Can we leave?” I looked up at him and to my relief, he nodded.

“I didn’t want to take you with me, but I’m not leaving you here now. Come, un.” He took my hand and with one last glance back I watched the bleeding man fall farther and farther behind our every step. With his free hand he pulled a small bird from his palm, enlarging it with a few words and looking at me expectantly. “I can’t hold on to you this time Nezumi, you have to do it by yourself, hm.” With a nod, considering I didn’t much feel for talking, I followed behind him on the living sculpture. The bird rustled his wings and turned his head to look at me, shyly, I looked down. I did not think too kindly of these creatures. After nearly falling off one a couple weeks back only to have Deidara tell me I was clumsy and not careful, I told myself I would much rather walk than face that scenario again. I felt insecure, like Deidara-kun was being forced into babysitting me like some wayward toddler. I wanted to help, but there wasn’t anything I could do that Deidara didn’t already have mastered. It was only a matter of time before he decided I was too much of an obstacle that I would be left alone, helpless. I moved to clutch at Deidara when the bird set flight but remembered what he said and instead clutched at the monster I was atop of. The wind fluttered around my head, whipping my short fringes into my face and hazing my vision. When I managed to look below me I noticed we were flying above the village, in the middle of all the cliffs was a sunken, grey village. Small, but none the less inhabited. Deidara laughed loudly, crushing the clay in his hand and waiting, waiting for his chance to show everybody what he could do.

I glanced over his shoulder and in his palm stood an odd figure. It was, as all of his clay sculptures were, white and chalky. But this one held a sort of sinister glow to it. It was poised like an angel, wings outstretched and hands bent in prayer. It’s face nothing but three small holes driven deep within the clay. “Art is a bang. If it’s not, it’s merely child’s play.” He dropped the sculpture, quickly expanding it until I thought it would crush the building below us. “Katsu!”

The world lit up like hell itself.

Beneath us was a sea of fire, painting the sky in a deep scarlet. Embers floated upwards and for a split second, no one moved. I’ve seen it before but even now I was dazzled. The colors, the heat, the sound. All of it complete destruction of something so fragile and innocent. How he could sit back and smile was beyond me at this point. “What have you done, Deidara-kun?” It was the only thing I could breathe out.

“I’ve created something beautiful, something perfect in it’s absolute destruction. Don’t you understand, hm?”

I didn’t and hoped I never would. I prayed then, prayed for every human being that didn’t see their end coming so fast and so sure. I cried and hoped he wouldn’t tell me I was weak or fragile, but it hurt. I couldn’t stop this. I couldn’t stop anything, for all I was, all I am, was only ever a painter. Yet, Even I could appreciate the color palette that drenched the ground and sky. “How is this beauty?” I asked softly, looking through the flickering strands of hair that rushed before my vision. “How is this perfect?” He laughed again and shook his tresses around.

“You’re still so innocent. I can’t say I mind, hm.” With one hand he tilted my chin upwards, gazing past my eyes and into my very being. “With death comes life, comes creation. Is that not beauty enough? We’re playing god now Nezumi. We get to decide when the cycle stops and when it begins.” I couldn’t tear myself away.

“You say ‘we’ like I play a part of my own” I said quietly. That glint in his eye reappeared and softly, he pushed his mouth against mine. Eyes closed and breathing heavy, he tilted back, my forehead now resting against the cold metal plate of his shinobi band.

“What’s an artist without inspiration, hm? You’re my reason, my muse. Nezumi-kun, you play a bigger part in this than I do.”