Bursting Red

Itachi set the plate down in front of me and I stared at it in absolute wonder. He had went ahead and made a plate of rice with a side of steamed vegetables, I nearly had to wipe my mouth to keep my saliva where it should be. “Uh, arigato Itachi-san.” I bowed quickly and picked up the chopsticks he had set with them. The hand I usually ate with couldn’t grip the chopsticks so I’m sure it looked even stupider than I felt. He watched me eat hungrily from across the table, his inky black eyes never leaving me. I didn’t even notice until I looked up to reach for the salt. “What’s wrong?” He didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at me like he had never seen me before. I set my chopsticks down suddenly and lowered my eyes, realizing I never had said thank you for him saving me from that monster. “You didn’t have to come to my rescue back there, but I do appreciate it. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve been causing.” I looked up at him through long lashes waiting for him to say something. Finally he closed his eyes and inhaled.

“His way of living is rather barbaric, I’d rather not have that here.” His said, finally opening his eyes and looking back at me.

“You’re different from the rest of them here, who are you fighting for?” I asked quietly, pulling my eyes away so I wouldn’t feel so invasive. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but something about this Uchiha set him apart from everyone else here. Like deeper under that cold exterior he was just hiding something, a darker secret and concern that nobody here could know about. There was someone else behind his motives, someone whom he desperately wanted to save. For a brief moment it looked like his eyes softened at my mention, he looked away and settled his sights on the floor.

“You’re more perceptive than I would have imagined,” he flickered his sights back to me daringly, “that could cause a great amount of trouble around here that nobody needs.” I stayed quiet and he dared to speak up again. “Were you always so naïve?” My head shot up and I managed a glare, a slight tug at the corner of his mouth caught my eye and I frowned even more.

“Probably, I’ve live a very sheltered life until now. It was the rush that stole me at first and then…” My thoughts settled back on Deidara, my first love, my only. Now that I thought about it the whole thing sounded childish. Risking my life over one boy, the one boy who never really seemed to care as much as I did. “It’s a sacrifice I had to make for him. Seems silly doesn’t it, throwing away my whole life to save a single person.” I fumbled to pick up my chopsticks, trying not to get angry with my left hand.

“It sounds rather noble to me,” Itachi’s eyes burned through my skull, waiting for me to respond.

“Do you say that because you’ve had to make your own selfless sacrifices?” My voice was soft and I kept my sights glued to the table grain. I didn’t hear him move, nothing. He was as stoic as ever and suddenly I felt like I had crossed a line. “I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“Do you know why I’m here Nezumi?” I shook my head slowly and bit my lip. Did I really want to know? So far he had been my small hope here, the one I felt in some sick way I could possibly relate to. “I slaughtered my entire clan in one night, and left without another glance back. Can you say that’s selfless?” My eyes widened suddenly, I suppose they weren’t feared nin for nothing. It almost made me nervous to imagine what the others were here for.

“I-I suppose not. But, but you had to have some noble motive behind it!” I cried out loud, slamming my fists down on the table. I wouldn’t let them all be so damn hopeless. His eyes widened suddenly and a small smirk graced his lips.

“Must you try so desperately to see hope in everyone? You’re nothing but a child and for that you will always suffer, maybe you should try focusing on your own life for once. Like your Deidara has been doing this entire time.” Desperately my fingers trailed up towards my necklace, staring blankly ahead. “Has he once listened to your pleas, done anything you’ve wanted to do? From what I’ve seen you trail him like a lost dog. It’s pathetic.” Every word he said was true, I couldn’t remember a single time when I asked Deidara to not do something reckless and he listened. It was always the same line, ‘don’t worry, everything will be alright. Just close your eyes.’ I loved him but damned if he wasn’t one of the most selfish people I had ever met.

“I know this, don’t think I don’t realize what he does. He means well Itachi-san, he really does. He’s just…young. Someday he’ll grow up I’m sure.” Not even I believed a word I said, this place was stunting his growth all it did was push him towards destruction.

“Not with you encouraging him every step of the way he won’t.” Itachi already said it for me. I looked at the scraps on my plate and sighed, so I was the culprit. “You’re bleeding.” He said firmly, I cast a dry look at my arm and noticed the faint pink blooms that were beginning to spread along the length of my bandage. So was my whole arm giving out now? I couldn’t feel a thing.

“Deidara usually fixes my wounds…I guess I can just wait.” I said through clenched teeth, irritated, hurt, and every other possible negative feeling one could have I harbored. Itachi let out a small sigh and stood up, taking my plate and setting it on the counter. It felt like he was babysitting me and for that I couldn’t even bear to look at him.

“Clean yourself off and I will dress your wounds.” And he left me without another glance back, assuming I could find the bathroom by myself. I sat in the kitchen until the fear of another Akatsuki member walking in and attacking me took it’s toll, I moved faster than I thought into the bathroom. I rested against the bathroom door and shuddered, this was all too surreal, I was running for my life just so I could get a shower. Pathetic. I stripped my bandages off carefully, wincing as the fabric stuck close to my seeping wound. I don’t know what I did to make it bleed again but some of my stitches were reopened and even the thought of having to get more put in made me dizzy. At least with Itachi pulling the strings I wouldn’t have to hurt too much. After my leg and arm bandages had been completely removed I turned on the water and let it warm until the steam filled the bathroom, this would be difficult bathing by myself with one arm and one leg. Last time Deidara had to do it for me.

I slowly edged one leg into the shower before wobbling onto the other. The water slipped into my slowly healing cut and I had to stifle a cry in order to keep getting in. Once that was all finished it took me a good hour and a half to shower thoroughly, with less than half your limbs to work with you, you tend to move at a pace slower than average. After drying myself off and slipping back into my dress I left the bathroom, wounds complaining at the rush of cold air that brushed against them. “Itachi-san?” I called out into the empty hallway, I glanced at his doorway and wondered if it would look strange if I knocked on it. After all, Deidara wasn’t around and the thought of spending my time in another boy’s room alone seemed a bit dishonest.

“Nezumi, come here.” His voice called from behind his door, I took a deep breath and took a step forward. It’s not like anything bad would happen, I couldn’t see Itachi as that kind of person regardless. I stepped into his dimly lit room and looked around. He had an array of medicines and bandages spread out across his bed, he sat in a chair across from another empty chair and I grimaced. It looked like I was going into surgery instead of getting stitches and a cleansing. “Sit.” I immediately sat down, feeling like a child held my injured arm out to him, eyes tightly shut so I couldn’t see. His hands were gentle as he wasted no time in removing the stitches that still remained, every small tug made me hiss in pain but he never said anything so I suppose he didn’t mind. He dropped every piece of blood tainted metal into the bowl and finally he cleaned the wound out. I let out a deep sigh of relief and leaned back, looking down at my arm with careful attention. It was less red and swollen, something I had to thank Itachi for as well, and it seemed slightly smaller than it did last time.

“So, Itachi-san, do you plan to leave this place once you’ve done your duty?” I asked, trying to cut the heavy silence. His eyes never left my arm and he ignored me. Once he finished preparing the needle he sat up straight and spoke.

“You can’t just leave this place. It becomes your entire life, your death. The same fate I have is the same as everyone else’s.” He didn’t even sound sad when he said it, was it this easy to accept death? I surely was struggling with the thought. I closed my eyes again once the needle punctured skin. We sat the rest of the time in silence and when he finished my arm he moved to my leg. The bandages were clean and firm when I stood up, stretching out my sore limbs as a test. He was a brilliant medic, knew his stuff as far as I could tell. I moved my eyes to scan his body, he looked tired and it wasn’t just because of those marks under his eyes, he looked tired of life. Tired of trying and living as a criminal. Even if he didn’t show it to the others he must have felt my presence was nothing of a threat as his wall was less sturdy than before. His eyes seemed glued to the empty desk in front of him and I genuinely felt bad for the poor soul.

He wasn’t telling me something and finally I understood why.

Each step I took sounded through the silent room, his eyes never prying away from oblivion until I placed a hand under his chin and tilted his face towards mine. He looked at me curiously, waiting to see what I would do and obviously not being bothered by my touch. It’s not like I could hurt him, I was just a mouse after all. I bent forward and delivered a small friendly kiss on his cheek, lingering there for a second as I watched his eyes close almost painfully. “I hope your plan works out, for you and whoever you’re trying to save, noble Uchiha.” My hand dropped from his sharp jaw and I gave him a small reassuring smile before standing up. After all I didn’t want him to think I was pitying him, because I honestly was impressed by his show. “Arigato Itachi-san.” And I left his room without looking back. Down the hall walked a tall figure and immediately I bit my lip. It was the blue tinted man, the one who kept wanting to leave me behind on our trip down here. He looked at me curiously before grinning maliciously.

“Deidara not enough for you then?” I turned away from him, trying to hold back the angry words that were lingering on my tongue. He laugh loudly, “As I thought.”

“It’s not like that, I wouldn’t ever do something so ugly to Deidara-kun.” I mumbled before stepping back to my room, I stopped outside the door as I hear Kisame walk into Itachi’s room.

“Itachi-san, are you alright?” I heard him ask before I entered my hideout with a small smile on my face. I sat on the bed and decided to sleep until Deidara got back, it shouldn’t be long since we still had a very important mission to carry out later. As far as I knew it wasn’t even noon yet. I slipped under the covers, careful not to disturb my new wrappings and I settled into sleep feeling more cold and alone then I ever had.

Deidara-kun needed to come back soon.